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=^.^= Cat Trek =^.^=
catstarsto
Member Posts: 2,149 Arc User
May i introduce to u MY trek universe, a place where everyone is a lolcat! In the following posts I will share the adventures of James T Cat and the crew of the USS Kittyprize =^.^=
More can be found in my humor folder on Deviant Art
More can be found in my humor folder on Deviant Art
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Cat Trek
Part 1
-AUTHORS WORDS-
Greetings, I am Adventure Cat and welcome to my lolcat universe. A place where everyone is a Cat breed that walks upright and speaks in a cartoonish form. Within the sanctity of this amazing world are endless story's of little cats being silly and providing you with your next lolcat parody. Feel free to get lost in this wonderland for it welcomes all who come with a smile and leave with a laugh. =^.^=
-INTRO-
The universe holds many realms and possibilities, one such is where earth is inhabited by cats, of which that call themselves Mewmans. They have reached the stars and have begun to explore them. Our story begins by telling the tale of one such little cat, James T Cat. He was an abandoned orphan with no where to go. He meowed to the east and then to the west but no one answered. So he walked along a lonely road until he came upon Cat Fleet Academy. All of the cats here looked like they where having fun, and he knew that he was destined was to travel the stars. Durring his time here he made a few friends, Dr. Leonard McCat, Ensign Mewhura and Pawful Meowov. Together they took on all challenges, even the infamous, "Kittiashi Meow,'test. An impossible to win game to test how they would rreact to peril. Something curiosity will get most trekking cats into. Yet he managed to beat it....by cheating. He bought a Cryptic Nerfing machine and used it on the K-9 Battle cruisers during the fighting sim, making their ships weak and weapons useless. The simulated Kanines didn't have a chance. Now Kanines if you are wondering are a bulky, smelly and vicious dogs. They are naturally they sworn enemy of all Mewmans. Mr. Spot a Vulcat science cat and also the games creator discovered the bugs in his program created by the Cryptic Nerfer, and Cat was brought before the Academy's Admirals. So for being a bad kitty, he was suspended and forced to relearn all of the rules and guidelines of Cat Fleet once again. But suddenly an emergency arose, and all paws where needed. This is where our story begins....
-PART 1-
The alarms blared cats ran everywhere. Each scrambling to get to their stations. The distress cal was coming from planet Vulcat, they where long time friends and allies with the cats from earth. They informed Cat Fleet that they where under attack, naturally the closest ship was the USS Kittyprize, equipped with standard issue unfinished assembly package, for last minute rescues. But seeing all of his friends and class mates getting to fly in the space ship, James becomes envious.
"Wait a minute," he thought to himself, "I could sneak aboard!" James quickly looked around for a solution, then he see's his friend Dr. McCat rushing to the ship. "That's it!" He thought to himself. "Leonard can bring me aboard as a patient. I'm such a genius!" He quickly throws himself to the ground, and begins to meow out in agony, "help help, I need a doctor!" Dr. McCat hears the cry and rushed over to help. "Jim, are you alright?"
James sits up, leaning on his elbows. "Of coarse I am, I just needz you to sneaks me into the Kittyprize." Leonard steps back with a gasp. "I can't do that, I'll get in trouble!" It's against the rules and you've been suspended!" Cat gets up and waves his paws trying to convince his friend to help, " you won't get into trouble, I promise." McCat holds up the Cat Fleet Academy rule book, "but...but, the rule book says.." Cat grabs him around the back with a half-hug, "who are you going to believe, me or the rule book?" Ending his statement with a hearty laugh.
Dr. McCat covers his face with his paw, then sighs saying, "I can't sneak you on board, they won't take a sick cat to a rescue. We need another plan." Both stop and think for a moment, then Leonard snaps his fingers, "I've got it!"
He runs back to the building, dragging James along with him. They get to the storage shed where they keep the party supplies and he pulls out a helium tank, "Meow?" James asks in confusion. "Okay, now hold still." McCat sticks the devices tube into Cats mouth and turns on the helium valve, quickly inflating his friend up like a balloon.
Moments later Dr. McCat comes walking to the entrance platform for the Kittyprize. Holding his doctor bag in one arm and his other paw wrapped around his inflated and floating friends tail, like a balloon. He is met by a Security cat, busy taking inventory of the cats coming aboard. "Name?" "Dr. Leonard McCat." "Welcome aboard Doctor M-...," He stops and nearly falls over at the sight of James, after looking up from his digital keyboard. "It's my birthday and I just came from a party." Leonard says as he steps onto the lift, and ascends into other ship. The security cat still in disbelief at what he had just seen.
With the last of the crew aboard and checked in the ships Captain, named Christopher Paw, orders his crew to disembark. "Ensign Mew'lu, take us out." The new helms cat, looks at all of the controls of this new design and paws at the buttons trying to figure it out. The windshield wipers activate, then the hazard lights turn on, then a hatch opens up at the bottom of the ship and a few red shirt cats fall out. "Um Ensign?"" The Captain demands. "Sorry sir."
He keeps trying, suddenly a disco ball drops down. "Wow, when did they install that?' The Captain asks. "Ensign, that's enough! Let's get this ship underway!" Mr. Spot walks over and paws the starter button, the engines try to turn over for a moment, in the engine room, red shirt cats begin the crack a whip on the hamster wheels to make the rodents run faster. Then the engines fire up and the ship backfires.
"Okay, punch it!" The Captain orders. Ensign Mew'lu strikes the console hurting his paw, then begins to cry. Mr. Spot walks up once more and floors the accelerator pedal, the turbo charged engines send them off through space quickly.
Elsewhere, Dr. McCat quickly heads for sick bay to report in. Mewhura walks by and see's James inflated and floating in the air, she yelp's and falls over at the sight of him. "Oh my gosh! What have you done to Cat?!" Leonard looks up at James, "oh yeah, I forgot. James will be joining us on this mission." Mewhura raise's an objective eyebrow and pokes James in the stomach. He lets out a giggle from being ticklish and deflates quickly as be bounces all around the corridor releasing the helium and finally landing in Mewhura's arms.
He looks up at her and smiles, "oh hai." She drops him and walks off. "Wow, she's mean!" Dr. McCat helps him up saying, "you should stay out of sight, here, go watch tv in my quarters." Leonard gives him an electronic pass key and continues onto sickbay. "TV?!..not while I'm on a space ship!" he thought to himself.
A sneaky expression comes to his face, as he formulates his next bit of cat mischief.James sit's himself down near a console and uses his hacking program that he used earlier to access the ships computer, in order to promote himself to Commander rank. "Hah, Mr. Spot isn't the only ranking officer on board now!" The ship suddenly comes to a crashing halt, causing James to fly across the room, slamming his head through the wall. The bridge crew all turn to see his head sticking through the dedication plaque like a trophy. "Cat! What are you doing on board?!" The Captain angrily demanded. To be continued...
Last time on Cat Trek....James T Cat got into trouble, then provoked some more mischief then finally got into trouble again...
CAT TREK: Part 2
The Kittyprize had come to a sudden stop as Mr. Mew'lu stomped on the breaks. Suddenly Cat's head breaks through the wall of the bridge, Captain Paw turns with a startle along with the rest of the bridge crew and demandingly yells out, "Cat! How'd you get on board?!"
"What can I say, I developed an inflated ego and drifted on board." Mewhura then scolds him with a comeback, "James, that was a horrible pun!" A rambling voice from the other side of the room gets louder as the cleaning crew tells off cat for destroying the room he just cleaned. Then lands a swift kick to his tail popping him free, he flys into Mewhura's arms once again, he looks up at her with a big smile. "we need to keep meeting like this." he then paws at her ponytail. She drops him and walks back to her station in a huff. "What ever is the matter with her?" He asks.
"Captain, hes a stowaway, he wasnt even assigned to this ship!' Mr. Spot adds. "Yes, very true. Put him in the brig." Captain Paw orders. "Ahem!" A voice calls out from the main viewer. "oh yeah, you wanted something right? Who are you again?" Paw asks. The cat on the screen growls for a second offended at being forgotten. "I ...am Me'ow, the Nomulan! and I demand you hand over Nyanbassidor Spot!" "Me?" Mr. Spot asks. "No, your too young to be the Vulcat im after. im looking for an older one." Me'ow explains.
James reaches out of view and pulls out the older Spot, "do you mean him?" Me'ow nods, "yes, thats the one." James then pushes him out of view again saying, "well hes not here!" Me'ow crosses his paws, "well then, where is he?" He demands. All of the cats on the bridge give a big smile and grin. "I will just take your Captain, and torchure him with bafftime, until he tells!" Me'ow rawrs in fury. "Try to stop us and you will never get him back!" He adds as the veiw screen suddenly becomes a screensaver and Paw s transported from the ship. "Oh no! What are we going to do without a Captain to lead us?" Mewhura asks in a panic. Cat snickers and waves at her, pointing to himself. "Darn it Cat, quit flirting with me!" Cats ears fall flat with sadness. "But..but, i have to!" He responds. "Why?" She asks. "Its in the script!" She then gives Cat a facepaw.
An alert suddenly activates, Mewhura listens to a broadcast for a moment then looks back at Mr. Spot. "Sir, Me'ows is lowering a giant water pump from his ship!" "Tactical analysis?" Spot asks. "Sir, the ship is a giant water container, i think they plan to flood Vulcat!" Spot looks away distressed for a moment, then turns back to his crew. "I think we should negotiate with them, and see if they can be reasoned with." Cat walks up to him and crosses his paws with a smirk of defiance, " i think we should fight him!"
Mr. Spot leans away from him is shock from Cats idea, "we cant just start attacking, it would ruin our diplomatic reputation!" "Fighting sells more, so let me in command of this ship and i'll give the readers a lot more action!" cat adds. Commander Spot raises an eyebrow, "you cant command this ship, your still an Academy student...suspended on top of it!" "But i am a commander rank officer aboard this ship, by the time my I finish here, my suspension will be over with!" Cat announces, pointing upward in a dramatic pose.
"But thats impossible! How can you have a Commanders rank when you never graduated the Academy?!" Spot stresses as he checks the personnel databank. A sudden look of panic comes to his face, Spot begins to paw at a ball of yarn on the floor. Mewhura jumps up, "oh no, how could you Cat?!" "Wha..why is he doing that?" James asks. "didnt you know? Anytime you present an illogical situation as a fact to a Vulcat, their minds cant handle it and they revert back to kitten mode!" James ponders this for a moment, "a very interesting weakness."
Cat is suddenly clubbed over the head by Mewhura, "you leave him alone!" She then helps Mr. Spot to his feet, he drops the ball of yarn from his mouth and begins to purr and paw at her ponytail. As she helps to the turbo lift, she looks back at Cat once more with an angry leer. "Come on Commander, lets get you to sickbay." Cat gets back up to his feet, "ow, my head." He then shakes it off. "Commander. what are your orders?" Mr. Mewlu asks. Cat jumps into the Captains chair. "First im going to lead an away team to stop that water pump, then I think we can arrange a ship ship battle before the boss fight, to save the Captain!" Mr. Mewlu turns to ask, "will we get to use the new evo tactical armor?" James shakes his head, "we cant, this is only the standard issue under equipped model of ship." "So what will we use, to safely descend to the water pumps platform?" Cat thinks for a moment then runs to the equipment closet, and comes back with a few umbrellas. "Tada!" Cat cheers.
All of the bridge crew simultaneously give him a facepaw. "What?" ..ok, I need a team who are good at fighting." Mewlu raises his paw, "I play around with a fencing Eepee." Cat nods. "Good enough." James the points at Ensign Generic, "we might loose someone to balance the scene, so we will need you." Ensign generic looks down and begins to cry. "Grab an umbrella and meet me at the airlock, helm fly us in close." "Aye sir," a Junior officer replys.
Moments later, the Kittyprize parks right above the hydro pump's controls platform and two daring heroes and an extra, jump from their ships airlock. "Open them up!" Cat yells. All 3 cats open thier umbrellas and begin to float safely down to the platform. But just as they are nearly ready to land, Ensign Generics umbrella flips back and he plummets to the water below."Noooo!" He yells.
"Oh no, we lost Ensign Generic!" Mewlu yells. There is a big splash and then he pops up tot he surface of the water crying and thrashing about in a panic. "Help-Help, I iz all wetted!" Cat and Mewlu then safely land on the platform and are quickly intercepted by Nomulan hench cats. "Its the good guys! Get em!' They cry. Mewlu draws his eepee and begins to disarm and poke at them with his fencing sword, as he laughs heartily like a swashbuckler. "The BB on the tip begins to subdue the evil cats, "Ow! Hey! Stop...haha, dont do that, im ticklish!" They call out with each poke.
Cat draws his water pistol and fires at the others, sending them fleeing in terror of getting wet. Before the third slaps the pistol from his paw, then drop kicks him away. The Nomulan quickly grabs the water pistol and aims to fire, but Cat grabs for one of the umbrellas near him and knocks it out of his paw. "Nooo! My mother gave me that water pistol!" He then begins to cry and walks off.
Cat then gets back up to his paws and grabs his own water gun. "Thats the last of them, what are your orders sir?" Mewlu asks. We have to stop this pump from flooding Vulcat! Where is the valve??" Cat Asks. "Its the future, ask it to stop." Mewlu adds. Cat shruggs then says, "computer stop!" "No." It replys. "Why not?" Cat asks. "Because you didnt say please." Both cats fall over. Cat quickly jumps back up to his paws, "please, stop the water." "Password accepted." The computer says then it stops pumping water. Cat then sprays water that the controls with his pistol and overloads it. "That will keep those smartypants Nomulans from reactivating the pump!" Cat adds.
Suddenly the locking mechanisms that the computer held in place gave way, and the platform began to fall apart. Cat quickly takes out his smart phone and speed dials his ship, "trasporter, 2 top beam up!"On board the ship a young Kitt paws at a cord hanging from the control base, when the message comes in. Quickly he runs to the transport console. Nearing the water below, Cat crys into his phone, "you might wanna hurry!!!" The young Kitt quickly work to lock onto them, "no ...no...almost....got em!" Cat and Mewlu appear in the transporter room next to him, "Yeah meow!" he cheers. "Nice work Ensign, " Cat tells him getting to his feet. "Uh, the names Pawful..Pawful Meowov." "Keep up the good work, Lets get back to the bridge!" Cat says running from the transporter room with Mewlu right behind him.
To be continued....
CAT TREK: Part 3
As they arrive on the bridge, all cats stop to salute. "Report!" Cat asks. "The flooding has caused a lot of cats to get wet, but the planet wide panic is minimal." Mewhura reports. A red light flashes on her console, "sir, we are being hailed!" "On screen." Cat orders.
Suddenly the Nomulan, Me'ow appears. "mai diversion worked, I've found Nyanbassidor Spot, and now I will force him to appear at Cat Trek conventions all over the quadrant. He will sign autographs and perform live before crowds, who will pay me handsomely for the privilege to see him!"
His speech is followed by a diabolical laugh. Cat steps forward, pointing at the screen in a dramatic pose, "your a madcat! Such a thing will never catch on!" "I already have...er, wait, aren't you supposed to tell me, I'll never get away with this?" Me'ow begrudgingly asks. Cat shrugs, "you won't, I'm the hero in this story. You where given the best makeup budget since you won't be a returning character." Cat adds with a snicker. "What?! How dare you!" Me'ow yells, then the screen goes black.
Suddenly Mr. Mew'Lu looks back from his console in a panic, "sir they are firing torpedoes!" "Helm, evasive maneuvers!" Cat crys. As a wave of torpedoes fly at the Kittyprize the ship detaches into several pieces, the saucer, hull and turbines fly around in figure 8's avoiding the attack. "Beat that Nyan-Luc!" Cat laughs.
Mewhura looks back "sir, there is a message coming from Me'ow." "On screen." Cat orders. Me'ow appears, increasingly angered at Cat's smirk. "Thats cheating!" The Nomulan rages. "Didn't I tell you, I came from Harlem? I played with the Yarn Trotters." "Enough! Try avoiding this!" Me'ow yells as he cuts the transmission again. "Sir they are firing disruptors now." "Jam his frequency!" Cat orders. "Sorry sir, we can't, that jokes already been done." James ponders for a moment.
Mr. Spot walks onto the bridge, "you could try firing back." "Nah, I can't authorize an action that could lead us to war." Mewhura looks back at him, "James, quit making fun of Cat Wars!" The ship rocks from the hits, one of the consoles explodes, a cat rushes over to it. "Hey, who put the metal container in the microwave?!" Cat steps forward, and with a dramatic pose, looks into the camera and says, "......fire!" with a paw clenched. Everyone on the bridge had stopped to watch this, even Me'ow. "I knew he was going to do that." "Yeah, me too." "I told you, you own me 5 dollars." Me'ow tells a random red shirt on the bridge.
A single torpedo launches from the Kittyprize, but goes off coarse and turns around and strikes a cloaked Kanine vessel, who had been watching. They quickly get their bearings and fly off. "Another bootlegger, trying to cash in before our movies released!" Spot says. "I know right!" Cat adds.
"Ok, lets get these guys, fire everything we have at those Nomulans!" Suddenly torpedoes, particle beams, darts, balls of yarn, and nerfed consoles are hurled at the Nomulans. "No effect Captain, their shields are just too strong!" Mr. Spot says looking into his scope. "Sir, there are more torpedoes coming in!" "Try and lock onto them, and shoot them down!" Spot orders.
The Kittyprize's particle beams rapid fire and begin to illiminate most of them, but some get through and the hull begins to buckle...no really, it does, a pair of mechanical paws extend around and hold the saucer together. Its actually quite cool you should see it! This ship also has a... "Could we get back to the story here?!" Cat demands. "Did the writer just stop the story to brag about his designs again?" Me'ow asks Cat on his viewer. "Yes, can you believe the nerve of taking the attention off of me?!" Cat adds.
"What?! You?! You want all popularity from this story for yourself don't you?!! Nomulans, resume attack!" "Wait, we surrender!" Cat answers. "WHAT?!!" All of his crew yells. "I offer you this device I got from last years summer event, a token of our defeat." Cat holds up the device, and Me'ow transports it to his bridge. "This is actually quite nice, I will display it on my bridge, the other Centfurrions will be jealous. Suddenly the object begins to light up and spin, Nomulans begin to scramble everywhere to catch the laser lights going all over the room from the Disco ball.
"Yes!" Cat cheered. "I'll get you for this Cat!...oh wow...so many, I must catch them!" Me'ow says in a trance. "Quickly close the channel, and let 'em have it with all we have again!" Cat orders. "Wait, Captain Paw is still aboard!" Mr. Spot announces. "er...oh yeah, disable their weapons and engines then!" Cat says, as Mewhura rolls her eyes at him mumbling, "Your hopeless."
The Kittyprize opens fire, its particle beams disable the Nomulans ship. "Ok, I'm going to lead an away party to rescue Paw." Cat announces. Montgomery the scottishfold comes on over the intercom, "we took too much damage, our transporters won't work. But I got the microwave working again FYI." "Ok, no problem, we will just take a shuttle." Cat says waving at two of his officers, "Mr. Mew'Lu Ensign Generic, your with me." Ensign generic still ringing the water from his shirt looks up at Cat surprised, then begins to cry.
Moments later they meet in the shuttle bay, and prepare the Meowlileo for launch. "Everyone have their water pistols filled?" Cat asks. They raise them up and pump them up in anticipation for battle. The Mewolileo launches form the Kittyprize and heads over to save the day.
To be continued...
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