As I sit here, stranded in the crew's toilets, I wonder why I do not have personal accommodations in my ready room. Surely someone somewhere in Starship Design had to have thought, we know where the captain sits, but where do they conduct their business?
Its a nightmare. Ever since we began to venture into the Delta Quadrant our chef has demanded we follow Neelixs cookbook, using only ingredients found here and cooking. I mean, actually cooking! We have replicators for a reason, people! Were not on an energy crunch and dont have to worry about losing power and being stranded in this God forsaken quadrant. If I want a Kansas grass-fed steak and potatoes then damnit, Im going to have it!
The ships latrines have been working overtime, to say the least. I know of at least four senior officers that have missed duty assignments due to stomach illness. Our chef insists we just have to toughen up our stomachs remind me to conveniently leave him behind the next time we dock at a station. I can't stand this any longer... it's inhumane and unusual punishment.
It's been 3 years since I have been given the command of the U.S.S. Cornbread. By the way, that is actually the name this ship was given. What an awful name, is it not? I have been trying to get Starfleet to allow me to change the name, but they keep doging my request. I bet they think this is all funny. None the less, let me get back to my grievance. I have to admit, I am terrified of any trips that require a visit to Earth Space Dock. Whoever is the docking control officer or plural, are the worst. No matter what time or date you visit this place, there are ships all over the sector, and not only are they everywhere, but they seem to cluster in the ONLY AREAS clear for startships to warp into while passing through the Sol system. I have seen ships collide, like teenagers that just got their license. What is docking control smoking up there? From the reports, there are more deaths and ships lost in the ESD sector, UPON ENTERING, than there have been lost in all the wars added up. I mean these flyboys even WARP out of the sector, while parked no more then .5 Km away from another ship. I have seen ships warp out, and pull other ships into themselves from the warp wake. My counsoler keeps assuring me that there is nothing wrong with control, and this has always been this way for decades. That i am only imagining the cassualties, but that is because SHE doesn't watch the Federation News, she's Andorian. She watches andorian broadcasts. She even blames me for that time i warped in, and lost a warp nasscel to a Dominion Battle Cruiser, being captained by a Federation Captain. Don't ask me how or why Starfleet has gotten so laxed on us flying our enimies ships, or any ship we so choose, but isn't there a good reason we should be sticking to Fed Ships? I mean, you know, stuff like friendly fire because of mistaken Identity? I almost fired an entire barrage of torps at a Cadasian Galor, sitting 2 clicks away from me, popping fireworks. I thought it was firing upon something. and for get going to DS 9, that place is full of sit and talk Captains, who even verbalize how they are looking at someone, or how delicatly they turn their heads. Or what tone they just spoke in, even after they just spoke it. I need a vaction, or a very early retirement. This is just craziness.
Comments
As I sit here, stranded in the crew's toilets, I wonder why I do not have personal accommodations in my ready room. Surely someone somewhere in Starship Design had to have thought, we know where the captain sits, but where do they conduct their business?
Its a nightmare. Ever since we began to venture into the Delta Quadrant our chef has demanded we follow Neelixs cookbook, using only ingredients found here and cooking. I mean, actually cooking! We have replicators for a reason, people! Were not on an energy crunch and dont have to worry about losing power and being stranded in this God forsaken quadrant. If I want a Kansas grass-fed steak and potatoes then damnit, Im going to have it!
The ships latrines have been working overtime, to say the least. I know of at least four senior officers that have missed duty assignments due to stomach illness. Our chef insists we just have to toughen up our stomachs remind me to conveniently leave him behind the next time we dock at a station. I can't stand this any longer... it's inhumane and unusual punishment.
It's been 3 years since I have been given the command of the U.S.S. Cornbread. By the way, that is actually the name this ship was given. What an awful name, is it not? I have been trying to get Starfleet to allow me to change the name, but they keep doging my request. I bet they think this is all funny. None the less, let me get back to my grievance. I have to admit, I am terrified of any trips that require a visit to Earth Space Dock. Whoever is the docking control officer or plural, are the worst. No matter what time or date you visit this place, there are ships all over the sector, and not only are they everywhere, but they seem to cluster in the ONLY AREAS clear for startships to warp into while passing through the Sol system. I have seen ships collide, like teenagers that just got their license. What is docking control smoking up there? From the reports, there are more deaths and ships lost in the ESD sector, UPON ENTERING, than there have been lost in all the wars added up. I mean these flyboys even WARP out of the sector, while parked no more then .5 Km away from another ship. I have seen ships warp out, and pull other ships into themselves from the warp wake. My counsoler keeps assuring me that there is nothing wrong with control, and this has always been this way for decades. That i am only imagining the cassualties, but that is because SHE doesn't watch the Federation News, she's Andorian. She watches andorian broadcasts. She even blames me for that time i warped in, and lost a warp nasscel to a Dominion Battle Cruiser, being captained by a Federation Captain. Don't ask me how or why Starfleet has gotten so laxed on us flying our enimies ships, or any ship we so choose, but isn't there a good reason we should be sticking to Fed Ships? I mean, you know, stuff like friendly fire because of mistaken Identity? I almost fired an entire barrage of torps at a Cadasian Galor, sitting 2 clicks away from me, popping fireworks. I thought it was firing upon something. and for get going to DS 9, that place is full of sit and talk Captains, who even verbalize how they are looking at someone, or how delicatly they turn their heads. Or what tone they just spoke in, even after they just spoke it. I need a vaction, or a very early retirement. This is just craziness.