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Forums > Home› Ten Forward

Bug Report Humor Thread

themariethemarie Member Posts: 1,055 Arc User
edited October 2014 in Ten Forward
Bug Report 11,719,987,003: Toilets on ESD not working again, had to take a dump in the waterfall. Devs, please fix this ASAP as the plants are scratchy and make lousy toilet-paper.

Bug Report 11,799,000,128: OMG THIS GAME IS NOT CANON, SO MUCH UN-CANON STUFF. IT VIOLATES THE CANON. NERF PLSE.

Bug Report 11,882,472,500: New content too easy, was able to blow through Ultra Ultra Advanced Super Elite content solo with my twenty-two-billion-DPS pawnscort.

Bug Report 11,883,521,198: Funny smell emanating from speaker when docked at Drozana.



:D Your turn.
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • starswordcstarswordc Member Posts: 10,963 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug 11,883,521,199: Neelix cannot be shot squarely in the head and dumped out the airlock.
    "Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
    — Sabaton, "Great War"
    VZ9ASdg.png

    Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug 11,883,521,200; Neelix is an obnoxious loser and I can't have my psychopathic living weapon character eat his heart and lungs. Why can't I just exterminate the Talaxians and end their miserable existence?
  • cadfael71cadfael71 Member Posts: 54 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Ah I just feel the Neelix love lol. Isn't there a mission chain to turn him over to the Khazon or something ;)

    Bug 11,883,521,22: OMG. Advanced STF's are freaking impossible and not in a good way. You just upped the damage done and their hit points by like 1,000 times! It took 2 hours to grind through half of it - couldn't even finish. It's just too hard now!!!!

    Bug 11,883,521,24: OMG. Elite STF's are so freaking easy. Thought you said you made them harder. Finished my pug in 8 minutes. Loosers!
  • grandnaguszek1grandnaguszek1 Member Posts: 2,188 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Speaking of Neelix, have you noticed that 25% of the Talaxians were sitting around drinking in the second mission of delta rising? It would explain alot about how they were acting, expecially since what they were drinking looked like Romulan ale.
    say-star-wars-is-better.jpg
  • starswordcstarswordc Member Posts: 10,963 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    cadfael71 wrote: »
    Ah I just feel the Neelix love lol. Isn't there a mission chain to turn him over to the Khazon or something ;)

    Even the Kazon aren't that stupid.
    "Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
    — Sabaton, "Great War"
    VZ9ASdg.png

    Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
  • alexmakepeacealexmakepeace Member Posts: 10,633 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug 11,883,008,232: Main cargo bay, under a crate of transparent aluminum. Despite protests from science personnel to just let it be, Ensign Thomas attempted without success to flush it out using the handle of a sonic broom. He later described it as "big and hairy and icky." However, Ensign Davis described it as "adorable and misunderstood."

    The watch officer was sufficiently amused to pass the report along to the first officer.
    a1tg90.jpg
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  • jonsillsjonsills Member Posts: 10,458 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug #11,833,008,253.936: Despite downloading and installing the Delta Rising expansion, the computer has kept operating and the server has failed to crash. Is this working as intended?
    Lorna-Wing-sig.png
  • sumghaisumghai Member Posts: 1,072 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug #11,833,008,253.940: Ship upgrade tokens in the C-Store were stated to be between 500 and 100 ZEN. Actual price was 700 ZEN, which is 50 ZEN short of 750 ZEN as advertised.
    Laws of thermodynamics as applied to life: 0 - You must play the game. 1 - You can't win. 2 - You can't break even. 3 - You can't quit.
  • grandnaguszek1grandnaguszek1 Member Posts: 2,188 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug 12,224,112: Despite being a friendly hologram, the Doctor tried to kill me!:eek:
    say-star-wars-is-better.jpg
  • berginsbergins Member Posts: 3,453 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug Report #11,833,008,253,969: People have TRIBBLE your system! They are reading the Bug Reports I have been posting, and have even started a thread in the 10 Forward subforum to discuss my postings on the most flagrant bugs I've found. While on the one hand, I'm flattered, on the other hand, I demand my privacy!!!
    "Logic is a little tweeting bird chirping in a meadow. Logic is a wreath of pretty flowers which smell BAD." - Spock
  • grandnaguszek1grandnaguszek1 Member Posts: 2,188 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    bergins wrote: »
    Bug Report #11,833,008,253,969: People have TRIBBLE your system! They are reading the Bug Reports I have been posting, and have even started a thread in the 10 Forward subforum to discuss my postings on the most flagrant bugs I've found. While on the one hand, I'm flattered, on the other hand, I demand my privacy!!!

    Bug Repor #11,833,253,770: Your privacy not found.
    say-star-wars-is-better.jpg
  • cheesebasketcheesebasket Member Posts: 1,101 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug report #9001 "Nacho Libre" meusic began to play all of er my ship when I tried useing thaleron pulse.
    Particularly the eagle stance scene. I can't figure out how to turn off the ship wide radio

    Bug report # 1,289,786 we need reinforcements over at ESD, it appears there's a whole horde of womprats pouring out of Admiral Quinn's office... They're everywhere
    The hamster will RULE ALLL....

    Mwahahahahahahaha
  • atlantraatlantra Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug Report #19,836,053,970: The [Photonic Cannon [Dmg]x9001] weapon did not come with my Long Range Science Vessel Retrofit. :(

    Please fix.
    The dress is gold and white. Over 70% people says so. When viewed from a certain screen angle it appears blue and black. The dress displayed on amazon is a blue and black dress, but it's not the same dress in the picture. If you're seeing blue & black you're slightly colored blind. A normal upright screen = white and gold.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,767 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug Report #5753 - i spilled coffee all over the keyboard.... dammit
    Phoenix_Compendium_1.jpg
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  • berginsbergins Member Posts: 3,453 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug Report #12,273,098,780,124

    Cannot equip my Lightsaber. Also, none of my force powers show up in my skilltray. Next you'll tell me I can't fly my X-Wing fighter. JK, you'd never do that to the playerbase.
    ............
    Bug Report #12,273,098,780,125

    You &%*%^*#. If you think &%#&&#* the #&#*^Γ~ and *#{#^^ the you can go &%*%{ a *#&#&*#{ til &**#{#{}{*

    RAAAAAAAGE!!!!!!!
    "Logic is a little tweeting bird chirping in a meadow. Logic is a wreath of pretty flowers which smell BAD." - Spock
  • philipclaybergphilipclayberg Member Posts: 1,680
    edited October 2014
    grandnaguszek1 wrote: »
    Bug 12,224,112: Despite being a friendly hologram, the Doctor tried to kill me!:eek:

    "The operation was a success, Captain Janeway. The patient died."

    Bug Report #5754: "Trying to run this game under windows. Not enough room. Joints hurt from crouching for so long. Isn't there a more comfortable place/position to play it in?"

    Bug Report #5755: "Bought my laser printer from the Lobi Consortium, but still can't set it for 'stun'."

    Bug Report #5756: "Nerf keeps getting wet; won't dry out fast enough. Needs polish and rag so it can be buffed."

    Bug Report #5757: "Bumped into Jar Jar Binks on ESD again. Says he can't find Coriscant on the galaxy map. Please help him get home. He's getting sooooo annoying."

    Bug Report #5758: "Need translation of all text into Valley Girl. Gag me a spoon. Fer shur."

    Bug Report #5759: "Need to make all females in STO look like Barbie, or at least Dolly Parton. What's with all the realistic female anatomies?"
  • berginsbergins Member Posts: 3,453 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    hawku001x wrote: »
    Bug Report #5753 - i spilled coffee all over the keyboard.... dammit
    Pro Tip: Use the cupholder. Some people don't realize it is there but it generally slides out of your machine, much like a drawer. The labeling is a bit confusing: Cup Drawer/Drink Volume Drawer. Most of the time, this is abbreviated to CD/DVD.
    "Logic is a little tweeting bird chirping in a meadow. Logic is a wreath of pretty flowers which smell BAD." - Spock
  • alexmakepeacealexmakepeace Member Posts: 10,633 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Newer drives also sometimes use BD: Beverage Drawer.
    a1tg90.jpg
    Check out my YouTube channel!
  • jonsillsjonsills Member Posts: 10,458 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    hawku001x wrote: »
    Bug Report #5753 - i spilled coffee all over the keyboard.... dammit
    Coffee is OP vs keyboards. Plz nerf.
    Lorna-Wing-sig.png
  • mjarbarmjarbar Member Posts: 2,084 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug report #245673-Alpha-25543345:

    Chief Engineer reports problem with waste management system, Captains log staying around longer than desirable!
    hZbIdbh.jpg
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  • icerose20icerose20 Member Posts: 18,379 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug report: 314159265359

    Tuvok just used the finger of death, please nerf

    ?id=326875181
    Ancient Griffon insult

    That one is so stupid, he lost a Rock/Paper/Scissors game to a Pony.
  • berginsbergins Member Posts: 3,453 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug Report #3,141,596

    Preordered OP when DR was announced.

    I am not OP. I paid for OP but am not. I want my $$ back.
    "Logic is a little tweeting bird chirping in a meadow. Logic is a wreath of pretty flowers which smell BAD." - Spock
  • berginsbergins Member Posts: 3,453 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    alexmakepeace wrote: »
    Newer drives also sometimes use BD: Beverage Drawer.

    A common misconception, but an understandable one based on the current naming system.

    A "BD" is actually more specialized than it may appear: it is made to hold beer, thus "Beer Drawer."
    "Logic is a little tweeting bird chirping in a meadow. Logic is a wreath of pretty flowers which smell BAD." - Spock
  • captainoblivouscaptainoblivous Member Posts: 2,284 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    icerose20 wrote: »
    Bug report: 314159265359

    Tuvok just used the finger of death, please nerf

    ?id=326875181

    I put this very bug in as "Tuvok poked me in the eye, nerf plox".
    I need a beer.

  • starswordcstarswordc Member Posts: 10,963 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Post 404: Error not found
    "Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
    — Sabaton, "Great War"
    VZ9ASdg.png

    Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,767 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug report #5938: i accidentally made eye contact with another human ugggh
    Phoenix_Compendium_1.jpg
    USS Phoenix-X Literary Index | Comics | Most recent story: "The Opposite of That"
  • jorantomalakjorantomalak Member Posts: 7,133 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug Report #90210-12345 : Kicked tuvok in the nuts...he didnt scream in soprano but sobbed in tenor please make tuvok scream in soprano?
  • markhawkmanmarkhawkman Member Posts: 35,236 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug Report #3-2006: got stepped on in the Voth BZ by a Zentraedi. Zentraedi are OP! plz nerf!
    -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
    My character Tsin'xing
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  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,767 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug report #452452 my mom wont stop calling
    Phoenix_Compendium_1.jpg
    USS Phoenix-X Literary Index | Comics | Most recent story: "The Opposite of That"
  • ryan218ryan218 Member Posts: 36,106 Arc User
    edited October 2014
    Bug Report 1701:

    My computer monitor is blank. There's usually a whirring hum from my computer but it's not there. Please help.
    Old Wounds
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    Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
    In Cold Blood
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