There's mine for your reading pleasure. It's taken the prompt in only the broadest sense, but I think I've been able to put out a better story for it.
For reference to time frames, Jenna is 23 years old in the present.
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A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
It's been a while since I did one of these. Been busy with other things. But I got hit hard with and idea today and I bashed it out. Enjoy "Try To See Me"
Loved worffan's and MDK's work. Haven't read the others yet. I'll post more comprehensive reviews a bit later.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
It's been a while since I did one of these. Been busy with other things. But I got hit hard with and idea today and I bashed it out. Enjoy "Try To See Me"
Loved worffan's and MDK's work. Haven't read the others yet. I'll post more comprehensive reviews a bit later.
Nice story as usual, Sander! Very good hallucinations/nightmares!
Thanks, can't wait to see the full review list. :cool:
It's been a while since I did one of these. Been busy with other things. But I got hit hard with and idea today and I bashed it out. Enjoy "Try To See Me"
Loved worffan's and MDK's work. Haven't read the others yet. I'll post more comprehensive reviews a bit later.
Nice :cool: I liked the idea of Hooper on the probe
Nice :cool: I liked the idea of Hooper on the probe
Thank you, thank you! :cool:
Now, reviews as promised...
@worffan - very fun to see a story from Daysnur's POV. I think his character is the most interesting out of all of your major players.
@MDK - I really loved all the different nightmare sequences. A lot of creepy stuff going on in some of those heads. Also loving Claire.
@armurorx0 - I'm not quite sure what to make of this one. I've seen a few of your stories before but this looks like the second-to-last chapter. It's good stuff, just a bit startling to realize you're reading an ending. I really like Mathis.
@aeten66 - first off, thanks for suggesting this topic! I enjoyed Gregs' nightmare scene - it was very revealing. Also interesting to see a hierarchy among photonic officers (which are all presumably manifestations of the same computer AI)
@jonnaroslyn - loved the after-the-fact perspective from the junior officers. And... off to the next adventure!
@grylak - fantastic writing in that nightmare sequence. That was extremely well done.
@drajora - very cool. I really loved all the details you went into with the Borg cybernetic implants - it made it read less like sci-fi and more like a medical thriller that happened to be about a cyborg. That was hugely fun to read.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
@worffan - very fun to see a story from Daysnur's POV. I think his character is the most interesting out of all of your major players.
Thanks! I actually prefer Omek myself, but I have to say that Daysnur's telepathy makes him a really cool character to write fight scenes for (LC 59 redux with thought-battle comes to mind...).
Also, any thoughts on this? Wrote it while bored a couple days ago.
@worffan101 - I liked your idea of a particular space causing the situation and how the crew got out of it.
@MDK - woo some nightmares were really well described. Like worffan101, the description of the anomaly was really cool. Sure the ending was a bit abrupt, but what more could you say about it? It is my estimation that Claire was using the First Law to justify her actions. Not knowing if Asimov was directly tied to Data, wouldn't the Laws of Robotics, or something similar, be used in the core programming of AI?
Thank you, thank you! :cool:
I really loved all the different nightmare sequences. A lot of creepy stuff going on in some of those heads. Also loving Claire.
Thanks, and she is rather fun, this is the first time she's really acted independently since beaming Amanda off the Valkyrie, but all in a good cause :cool:
woo some nightmares were really well described. Like worffan101, the description of the anomaly was really cool. Sure the ending was a bit abrupt, but what more could you say about it?
Thanks, and yes, it would have been nice to have been able to do more, but equally, once the situation deteriorated to the point where Claire was able to resolve things, there really wasn't anything else too write...
It is my estimation that Claire was using the First Law to justify her actions. Not knowing if Asimov was directly tied to Data, wouldn't the Laws of Robotics, or something similar, be used in the core programming of AI?
Pretty much something like that. I know that the Prime Directive states that a ship and it's crew are expendable to maintain a species' status quo, but also there's the general order which allows a captain to take any necessary action to protect their crew. As mentioned up thread, once the crew become incapacitated, Claire takes on the position of an Emergency Command Hologram with the ability to do whatever she wants. The fact that she gassed the remaining few into unconsciousness was just a way of speeding up the inevitable process of them passing out, and allowing her to take action to end the situation sooner, rather than prolonging their suffering from sleep deprivation or nightmares... :cool: I'm sure she dreams of electric sheep
Thanks guys. I was specifically trying to go more for trying to get the nightmare of existing in that place than a nightmare of zombie/horror things. Though I did end up going that route at the very end, but it was too good a metaphor to pass up on.
Once I made Jenna's backstory up, I almost instantly made the Tasha connection. But I'm sure there's more than one colony that went wrong in the verse.
I agree, it's a much better story for taking the prompt loosely. Very nice piece. :cool:
Thoughts on mine?
I liked it. Bit of good old treknobabble to pop to safety, with a nice feel good ending. I find it a bit..... I guess strange is the best word to describe it, that a Jem Hadar would be using Quark's name like a curse to the Devil. I get he's an Odo follower, and love the praise and worship to him though.
And I wipped up a short posting over in LC60. A dialogue piece to redo my Legacy of Romulus entry, since D'Elon has a proper character now. And I used it to do a spot of world building.
*******************************************
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
I liked it. Bit of good old treknobabble to pop to safety, with a nice feel good ending. I find it a bit..... I guess strange is the best word to describe it, that a Jem Hadar would be using Quark's name like a curse to the Devil. I get he's an Odo follower, and love the praise and worship to him though.
And I wipped up a short posting over in LC60. A dialogue piece to redo my Legacy of Romulus entry, since D'Elon has a proper character now. And I used it to do a spot of world building.
Thanks! :cool: Omek's one of my favorite characters at this point. The fractal space thing is actually based (loosely) off of real science, btw. :cool:
Pretty much something like that. I know that the Prime Directive states that a ship and it's crew are expendable to maintain a species' status quo, but also there's the general order which allows a captain to take any necessary action to protect their crew. As mentioned up thread, once the crew become incapacitated, Claire takes on the position of an Emergency Command Hologram with the ability to do whatever she wants. The fact that she gassed the remaining few into unconsciousness was just a way of speeding up the inevitable process of them passing out, and allowing her to take action to end the situation sooner, rather than prolonging their suffering from sleep deprivation or nightmares... :cool: I'm sure she dreams of electric sheep
And I think that is what may have sparked debate up thread: the idea that the ship can take whatever actions she wants ... what's to stop the AI from "going rogue", gas the crew, and open the doors? Maybe Claire's motivation has not been made manifest? (Or maybe it has over several LCs and my memory is truly terrible :P) So, the idea that Claire handled the situation without orders was alarming enough to some readers. Then again, she *is* ... AI.
The General Order argument is weak as it may not apply to AI on the grounds of the potential for negative outcomes. Sure, Captains can become "bad" ... but they are only one person, not a whole ship, per se.
Regardless, I liked the piece and hope you do not have further revisions
@amurorx0 - Like I suggested above, I have not been keeping up with recent LCs for various reasons, so this entry seemed like a continuation from a previous piece.
@aten66 - The nightmare segments are well-written if short. When I think of the Tactical Photonic Officer, I think of the in-game BOff: no talking, just shooting Reading him with a voice was refreshing. The use of several EMHs make sense, given the situation so that was nice to see as well.
Thanks! I actually prefer Omek myself, but I have to say that Daysnur's telepathy makes him a really cool character to write fight scenes for (LC 59 redux with thought-battle comes to mind...).
Also, any thoughts on this? Wrote it while bored a couple days ago.
I'm a bit bored with Three at the moment, but Rachel shows a lot of promise.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
And I think that is what may have sparked debate up thread: the idea that the ship can take whatever actions she wants ...
I'm not sure if you saw the original posting, but in that, Claire did essentially just gas the crew and blow up the artefact (which was sloppy writing on my part in an attempt to get the piece down quickly) but the intent was always that the crew get so punch-drunk from sleep deprivation, that they would be dangers to themselves, so she had to take charge so as to best protect them
And of course, 'whatever she wants' is tempered by ethical subroutines such as Data and the Doctor, which coincide with Starfleet regulations, not a literal 100% whatever she feels like doing for the lols
Maybe Claire's motivation has not been made manifest? (Or maybe it has over several LCs and my memory is truly terrible :-P) So, the idea that Claire handled the situation without orders was alarming enough to some readers. Then again, she *is* ... AI.
Her only real motivation here was to protect her crew, and render the area safe for future traffic, she wasn't trying to usurp command, which the initial draft sadly did read as...
The General Order argument is weak as it may not apply to AI on the grounds of the potential for negative outcomes. Sure, Captains can become "bad" ... but they are only one person, not a whole ship, per se.
Regardless, I liked the piece and hope you do not have further revisions ;-)
It is what it is... Yes, the potential for an AI-run ship to go rogue is a terrifying concept, and that may indeed be the subject for a future entry if the Vanguard's original AI gets re-booted... Claire was written to be the OS/holographic interface for a small survey ship, not a warship, which is what the Vanguard truly is. Equally, organic captain's can go rogue too (Decker, Tracy, Maxwell, Ransom, to name but a few) As Kirk said, risk's part of the game, if you want to sit in that chair Data was allowed to command vessels, which although not quite the same as having the ship being self-aware and able to act on it's own decisions, was still an example of a starship under the control of an AI ^_^
I missed the original posting, but maybe that was good? After my post I considered Starfleet regulations may be akin to the LoR, so I propbably blew things out of proportion.
Well, mine's up... Ronnie and Tylha are both busy, but T'Laihhae was at a loose end, so she gets to have some fun in this one. For certain values of the word "fun".
Well, mine's up... Ronnie and Tylha are both busy, but T'Laihhae was at a loose end, so she gets to have some fun in this one. For certain values of the word "fun".
Whee, T'Laihhae!
Great story as usual, Shevet. I loved the creepiness, the Tovan Khev joke, the solution...
Oh, man, that ending. I was really scared for a moment there.
Well, I've made a start on my entry. Man, it feels good to be writing again! Neither of the last two really got my creative juices flowing, but this one--!
Well, I've made a start on my entry. Man, it feels good to be writing again! Neither of the last two really got my creative juices flowing, but this one--!
I'll try and finish it over the next few days!
So, thoughts so far?
Nice one as usual, Ryan.
I like the format a lot, and the characters are strongly voiced as usual.
@shevat - holy TRIBBLE that was good. The collective sequence especially. The last line of that gave me chills. Bravo.
@ryan218 - it's really hard for me to comment on an unfinished work, but so far, so good!
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Comments
For reference to time frames, Jenna is 23 years old in the present.
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
As I just said, nice one.
I agree, it's a much better story for taking the prompt loosely. Very nice piece. :cool:
Thoughts on mine?
My entry is up here
I think it might be a bit heavy on the Trek-nobabble. Feedback, as always is appreciated.
Loved worffan's and MDK's work. Haven't read the others yet. I'll post more comprehensive reviews a bit later.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
And I don't mind the Treknobabble at ALL.
Nice story as usual, Sander! Very good hallucinations/nightmares!
Thanks, can't wait to see the full review list. :cool:
Also, the new sig is cool.
I really enjoyed it, it reminded me somewhat of the youth Tasha Yar would have gone through on Turkana. Very nicely done :cool:
Not at all, a very nice read :cool:
Nice :cool: I liked the idea of Hooper on the probe
Now, reviews as promised...
@worffan - very fun to see a story from Daysnur's POV. I think his character is the most interesting out of all of your major players.
@MDK - I really loved all the different nightmare sequences. A lot of creepy stuff going on in some of those heads. Also loving Claire.
@armurorx0 - I'm not quite sure what to make of this one. I've seen a few of your stories before but this looks like the second-to-last chapter. It's good stuff, just a bit startling to realize you're reading an ending. I really like Mathis.
@aeten66 - first off, thanks for suggesting this topic! I enjoyed Gregs' nightmare scene - it was very revealing. Also interesting to see a hierarchy among photonic officers (which are all presumably manifestations of the same computer AI)
@jonnaroslyn - loved the after-the-fact perspective from the junior officers. And... off to the next adventure!
@grylak - fantastic writing in that nightmare sequence. That was extremely well done.
@drajora - very cool. I really loved all the details you went into with the Borg cybernetic implants - it made it read less like sci-fi and more like a medical thriller that happened to be about a cyborg. That was hugely fun to read.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Thanks! I actually prefer Omek myself, but I have to say that Daysnur's telepathy makes him a really cool character to write fight scenes for (LC 59 redux with thought-battle comes to mind...).
Also, any thoughts on this? Wrote it while bored a couple days ago.
@MDK - woo some nightmares were really well described. Like worffan101, the description of the anomaly was really cool. Sure the ending was a bit abrupt, but what more could you say about it? It is my estimation that Claire was using the First Law to justify her actions. Not knowing if Asimov was directly tied to Data, wouldn't the Laws of Robotics, or something similar, be used in the core programming of AI?
Pretty much something like that. I know that the Prime Directive states that a ship and it's crew are expendable to maintain a species' status quo, but also there's the general order which allows a captain to take any necessary action to protect their crew. As mentioned up thread, once the crew become incapacitated, Claire takes on the position of an Emergency Command Hologram with the ability to do whatever she wants. The fact that she gassed the remaining few into unconsciousness was just a way of speeding up the inevitable process of them passing out, and allowing her to take action to end the situation sooner, rather than prolonging their suffering from sleep deprivation or nightmares... :cool: I'm sure she dreams of electric sheep
Once I made Jenna's backstory up, I almost instantly made the Tasha connection. But I'm sure there's more than one colony that went wrong in the verse.
I liked it. Bit of good old treknobabble to pop to safety, with a nice feel good ending. I find it a bit..... I guess strange is the best word to describe it, that a Jem Hadar would be using Quark's name like a curse to the Devil. I get he's an Odo follower, and love the praise and worship to him though.
And I wipped up a short posting over in LC60. A dialogue piece to redo my Legacy of Romulus entry, since D'Elon has a proper character now. And I used it to do a spot of world building.
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
Thanks! :cool: Omek's one of my favorite characters at this point. The fractal space thing is actually based (loosely) off of real science, btw. :cool:
Nice piece. I liked D'Elon a lot.
And I think that is what may have sparked debate up thread: the idea that the ship can take whatever actions she wants ... what's to stop the AI from "going rogue", gas the crew, and open the doors? Maybe Claire's motivation has not been made manifest? (Or maybe it has over several LCs and my memory is truly terrible :P) So, the idea that Claire handled the situation without orders was alarming enough to some readers. Then again, she *is* ... AI.
The General Order argument is weak as it may not apply to AI on the grounds of the potential for negative outcomes. Sure, Captains can become "bad" ... but they are only one person, not a whole ship, per se.
Regardless, I liked the piece and hope you do not have further revisions
@amurorx0 - Like I suggested above, I have not been keeping up with recent LCs for various reasons, so this entry seemed like a continuation from a previous piece.
@aten66 - The nightmare segments are well-written if short. When I think of the Tactical Photonic Officer, I think of the in-game BOff: no talking, just shooting
I'm a bit bored with Three at the moment, but Rachel shows a lot of promise.
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Yeah, I'm definitely re-using her. A not-psychotic-at-all augment with S31 on her tail with Evil Intent (tm)...
And of course, 'whatever she wants' is tempered by ethical subroutines such as Data and the Doctor, which coincide with Starfleet regulations, not a literal 100% whatever she feels like doing for the lols
Her only real motivation here was to protect her crew, and render the area safe for future traffic, she wasn't trying to usurp command, which the initial draft sadly did read as...
It is what it is...
And no, there won't be more revisions ^_^
Whee, T'Laihhae!
Great story as usual, Shevet. I loved the creepiness, the Tovan Khev joke, the solution...
Oh, man, that ending. I was really scared for a moment there.
I'll try and finish it over the next few days!
So, thoughts so far?
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
Nice one as usual, Ryan.
I like the format a lot, and the characters are strongly voiced as usual.
Nope. Still writing the last half of it. I still have to show how/if they escape.
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
@grylak - :eek: that was awesome! I really liked that the bulk of the piece was the actual dream! Great stuff.
Y'know, I think this might actually be the single longest LC entry I've written yet.
So, thoughts so far?
Trials of Blood and Fire
Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
In Cold Blood
@ryan218 - it's really hard for me to comment on an unfinished work, but so far, so good!
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon