Fan Fiction: Voyager: A Fire of Devotion

arkle

Optional Prequel Story: Jetrel Redux https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961691
A Fire of Devotion Part 1: Louder Than Sirens: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961987
A Fire of Devotion Part 2: Louder Than Bells: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6136905
A Fire of Devotion Part 3: Sweeter Than Heaven: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7592041
A Fire of Devotion Part 4: Hotter Than Hell: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10692453

where2r1

AARRGGhhhh...another web site I have to sign up for? I am so frickin' sick of the internet.

arkle

where2r1 wrote: »

AARRGGhhhh...another web site I have to sign up for? I am so frickin' sick of the internet.

You don't have to sign up to read, just to post. Guests can still leave Kudos.

where2r1

OK...I figured it out. Do you think I should watch the TV show first? Or just read the story?
Is it going to make any sense to me?

arkle

where2r1 wrote: »

OK...I figured it out. Do you think I should watch the TV show first? Or just read the story?
Is it going to make any sense to me?

I imagine it's much better if you've watched Voyager. Most chapters are re-writes of episodes from Seasons 4 through 7, some subtle, some dramatic (and I don't mean in terms of genre, I mean in terms of how many things I changed).

Though, I'm kind of curious how the fic comes across as someone who hasn't seen most (or any, I don't know your Trek background) of Voyager would react to it. If you'd prefer not to do that though, I'll understand.

where2r1

I watched the first one mentioned: "Jetrel"....with my lunch today.
Uh...Voyager...not my cup of tea. I did not like it.
I will read the rest of your stories "cold"...as I find time.

arkle

where2r1 wrote: »

I watched the first one mentioned: "Jetrel"....with my lunch today.
Uh...Voyager...not my cup of tea. I did not like it.
I will read the rest of your stories "cold"...as I find time.

Yeah, Jetrel isn't a good episode, even by Season 1 standards. Hence my changing it so much. I think it just would've made it more interesting from a character standpoint for Neelix to be a conscientious objector than a deserter, and the episode sets that up as what happened, but then chickens out.

And the canon reasons for Dr. Jetrel wanting to find Neelix is bad science, even by Voyager standards. Which I could've forgiven had the episode been better. I mean, Faces (also from Season 1) has horrible biology too, but the acting and atmosphere and writing make up for it.

where2r1

Where would be the most likely place you would read my comments? Here? I will have lots of questions since, as you guessed, I have not seen much of Voyager.

I mean, I did try to watch it when it first came out....a billion years ago.... I remember I had to borrow my roomie's TV in the barracks. LOL!

arkle

I think you do need an account to comment on AO3, or FFN (fanfiction.net) for that matter, where it's also posted. But FFN you can get an account right away and you don't have to wait. So try there. Same title, and same username.

But if you'd rather not, here is fine. Just be sure to check the author's notes for each part, JIC a question you have might be answered there.

where2r1

Yes, I noticed the author notes. I will contact you here.

where2r1

I don't know why I seem to collect more items in my "To Read List" than I have time to read.

It is a very strange affliction. But I am told it is common among readers....to collect more books, or borrow books from the library, even though they have piles of them unread at home already. I luckily I allowed my library card to expire.

With Risa starting....I hope to find some free time to read....one of these days.

arkle

where2r1 wrote: »

I don't know why I seem to collect more items in my "To Read List" than I have time to read.

It is a very strange affliction. But I am told it is common among readers....to collect more books, or borrow books from the library, even though they have piles of them unread at home already. I luckily I allowed my library card to expire.

With Risa starting....I hope to find some free time to read....one of these days.

I have whole shelves full of books I haven't gotten to yet, so I totally understand.

where2r1

Did you want me to nit pick your punctuation marks....or do you care?

BTW...the more awake I am ... the more nitpicky I get about stuff like that.
If I am reading while half asleep, like before I go to sleep ... everything slips by. LOL!

where2r1

OOO, I liked Jetral Redux. Ending was perfect and realistic.
15 years really isn't long enough for people to forget ideas or feelings and change their ways.

Serious, some obvious errors, possibly caused by spell check. You can easily find them and correct them by doing a thorough examination.

arkle

where2r1 wrote: »

Did you want me to nit pick your punctuation marks....or do you care?

It's fine. Too late, but fine. Besides, you shoulda seen it before my Beta Reader saw it. She's worked professionally as a copy editor.

where2r1 wrote: »

OOO, I liked Jetral Redux. Ending was perfect and realistic.
15 years really isn't long enough for people to forget ideas or feelings and change their ways.

Serious, some obvious errors, possibly caused by spell check. You can easily find them and correct them by doing a thorough examination.

Well, AFoD had a copy editor. Jetrel Redux did not. It shows, doesn't it?

where2r1

arkle#8984 wrote: »

Well, AFoD had a copy editor. Jetrel Redux did not. It shows, doesn't it?

I should mention, I read slowly...not into speed reading. I like to think on things as it is revealed to me. I like to find connections between things. Which is why it is a good idea for me NOT to watch more Voyager before reading the rest of this.

I think you are using either a very wonky spell checker (like the TRIBBLE one that came with my Kindle) OR maybe a voice dictation program??

Example: it's replaced its; trail replaced trial. Several commas missing in a few spots and a period not there at all...although the next letter is capitalized...so, spell check changed something. I had that happen to an e-mail before...which is why I don't write my e-mails on Kindle, any more. Kindle has been banned from e-mails.

arkle

I hope you're spacing yourself and not trying to get all 398,027 words in one go.

where2r1

Well, I really haven't started reading it, yet. Read the author notes this morning....but really?
This is Star Trek and you are going for the woman on woman action there? Meh. Sorry. Not into that.

I did read the beginning of the story...I have to say: BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN. Dialog is outstanding. I think I could read it if I were looking for something along those lines.

Feel free to correct me if I got the wrong impression.

arkle

where2r1 wrote: »

Well, I really haven't started reading it, yet. Read the author notes this morning....but really?
This is Star Trek and you are going for the woman on woman action there? Meh. Sorry. Not into that.

I did read the beginning of the story...I have to say: BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN. Dialog is outstanding. I think I could read it if I were looking for something along those lines.

Feel free to correct me if I got the wrong impression.

If you're worried it's gonna be something X-rated, than I can assure you that's not the case. I was very careful in that regard. I am well aware that I am a cishet male writing a romance story about two women. The fear that it might get exploitative is a valid one, but that's not what I set out to do. I have nothing against erotica as a genre*, but it is not what I'm interested in writing.

* I even have friends in the ERWA (Erotica & Romance Writers of America). Apropos of nothing, the ERWA HATES Fifty Shades of Grey. That should tell you how seriously they take their genre.

where2r1

I have no issue with erotica. I read plenty of it. I just am not interested in same sex stuff. Never have been, really.

I want to be able to read your book and give it a fair review. You think your writing can keep my interest? Note: I grabbed the sample of 50 Shades from Amazon way back when...I didn't get what the buzz was all about.

arkle

where2r1 wrote: »

I have no issue with erotica. I read plenty of it. I just am not interested in same sex stuff. Never have been, really.

I want to be able to read your book and give it a fair review. You think your writing can keep my interest? Note: I grabbed the sample of 50 Shades from Amazon way back when...I didn't get what the buzz was all about.

50 Shades is bad everything. It's bad writing, bad erotica, and bad fanbase, all in one.

As for AFoD, basically the whole fic is me re-working select episodes from each season Jeri Ryan was on the show. The Sam/Seven relationship is the main thing, but along the way I tweak some stuff from the show I thought could've been done better. And there's also a running subplot about the Borg degrading. See, most fic writers would just have made the Borg scary again. Me? I took the more challenging and IMHO interested route of taking the Villain Decay they suffered on the show and coming up with an in-universe reason for it.

where2r1

You sold me. I will just sluff the romance stuff off. Borg thing intrigued me. Remember, I have not seen much Voyager so it will be fairly new to me.

where2r1

Re: bad everything. Made me LOL!

arkle

Since I mention them in the author notes, it might be amusing to share the two SF Debris reviews I mentioned that inspired A Fire of Devotion. If you manage to see how my brain made the connection from those to "Hey, what if Seven of Nine and Ensign Wildman got together?" congratulations, you have an idea of what living in my head is like. *LOL*

https://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/v909.php (Bliss)
https://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/v957.php (Shattered)

The latter of those two gets turned into a chapter in AFoD, though I make dramatic changes to it.

where2r1

I just finished reading Patrickngo's book. And started reading Paingods and Other Delusions by Harlan Ellison. Man, that guy is punchy!! And his mouth may be as foul as mine. LOL!

I will get started on yours tonight. I will drop off comments here as I go.

I am not going to watch any Voyager (or Voyager Episode reviews) before reading your book see if I can make heads or tail of it without relying on the TV episodes. No crutches for you and your words.

Yeah, your writing is going to have to stand on its own. You're not freaking out are ya? LOL!

arkle

where2r1 wrote: »

I am not going to watch any Voyager (or Voyager Episode reviews) before reading your book see if I can make heads or tail of it without relying on the TV episodes. No crutches for you and your words.

Yeah, your writing is going to have to stand on its own. You're not freaking out are ya? LOL!

Totally fair.

where2r1

OK. I am reading Part 1. I have to say: it is quite jarring the juxtaposition of a romance inside a Star Trek episode, the way you have written it. I would even say: get rid of the Star Trek episode.

But then, I haven't read very far into it.

How close are Kim and Wildman?? And I mean: how long has Kim been Wildman's confidant? ON the TV show, are they REALLY close? Because women don't do the thing where they grab a co-worker while leaving the mess hall and talk about their private feelings. They have that "girlfriend". You know, the one they talk about everything with. Is that what Kim has become for Wildman...seeing that they are "lost in space".

Also, the first and second in command on the ship they are ill...not a mention of it during dinner chat at the mess hall between bridge officers. No one noticed to gossip about THAT? They are not even talking about work at all? Outside is a binary star system that they are collecting data about....it is very dangerous...that isn't on their minds? It is mentioned that Tom Paris is doing a bang up job of keeping Voyager OUT of harms way...that just doesn't go away at dinner. And no one else is feeling sick, yet?

So, I am seeing, so far, is a disconnect between "the episode" and "the romance". This stuff shouldn't be happening in isolation from each other. It is a small group of people...and it is all interconnected, you know.

where2r1

Do you work in an environment where you are alone, a lot?

I am not sure I can explain what it is like to work with a huge group of people who are "on shift" with you. In a place that is manned 24 hours a day. Not likely to be off at the same time.

Ok done with chapter one. Still can not get into this. This skipping back and forth, and the alien thing...I assume is the episode, wasn't compelling....did you change that?

I am probably going to stick to not ever watching Voyager.

where2r1

I still think your "romance" part is good enough to stand on its own. I don't know why you feel you need the rest of it.

Do you think it makes it seem more legit? Or something? I don't get it.

I mean...if you want to write a romance between Wildman and Seven of Nine...do that.
If you want to rewrite episode #### whatever....do that.

But interspersing the two back and forth...it is choppy at best.

arkle

where2r1 wrote: »

How close are Kim and Wildman?? And I mean: how long has Kim been Wildman's confidant? ON the TV show, are they REALLY close? Because women don't do the thing where they grab a co-worker while leaving the mess hall and talk about their private feelings. They have that "girlfriend". You know, the one they talk about everything with. Is that what Kim has become for Wildman...seeing that they are "lost in space".

On the show? TBH, I don't think they actually interact all that much. Granted, Samantha was in all of 8 episodes across 7 years. Her only shared screentime with Seven of Nine was in the episode Mortal Coil (which I did not adapt).

where2r1 wrote: »

Also, the first and second in command on the ship they are ill...not a mention of it during dinner chat at the mess hall between bridge officers. No one noticed to gossip about THAT? They are not even talking about work at all? Outside is a binary star system that they are collecting data about....it is very dangerous...that isn't on their minds? It is mentioned that Tom Paris is doing a bang up job of keeping Voyager OUT of harms way...that just doesn't go away at dinner. And no one else is feeling sick, yet?

It all sort of happened at once in the episode (Scientific Method), so that's what I went with.

where2r1 wrote: »

So, I am seeing, so far, is a disconnect between "the episode" and "the romance". This stuff shouldn't be happening in isolation from each other. It is a small group of people...and it is all interconnected, you know.

That comes into it more as the relationship progresses. At the point you're at as of this post, Seven isn't even 100% sure she has feelings for Samantha yet.

where2r1 wrote: »

Do you work in an environment where you are alone, a lot?

I am not sure I can explain what it is like to work with a huge group of people who are "on shift" with you. In a place that is manned 24 hours a day. Not likely to be off at the same time.

True, but Star Trek has always been a little loose with how shifts and schedules work. Comes with the territory of being a television show. No one tunes in to see the 3rd shift bridge crew deal with a crisis, they're there for Kirk/Picard/Janeway.

where2r1 wrote: »

Ok done with chapter one. Still can not get into this. This skipping back and forth, and the alien thing...I assume is the episode, wasn't compelling....did you change that?

I am probably going to stick to not ever watching Voyager.

I liked the episode, even though it is a bit derivative of stuff that was done on previous Treks. Some of the stuff I used was stuff that was written for the episode but never filmed (yeah, Memory Alpha), except for the name of the bridge officer who died, which I took from the Beta Cannon novel Section 31: Shadow.

where2r1 wrote: »

I still think your "romance" part is good enough to stand on its own. I don't know why you feel you need the rest of it.

Because it was never the goal to make it a 100% romance fic. I simply used it as an in to go and tweak some stuff I thought the show could've done better. Some episodes I adapted I actually did like, so the only thought process there was "How might it have gone differently if these two were together." I did get more invested in Sam/Seven as I went along though. I like to joke that I accidentally psyched myself into becoming a shipper.

where2r1 wrote: »

Do you think it makes it seem more legit? Or something? I don't get it.

That's as good a way to put it as any I suppose.

where2r1 wrote: »

I mean...if you want to write a romance between Wildman and Seven of Nine...do that.
If you want to rewrite episode #### whatever....do that.

But interspersing the two back and forth...it is choppy at best.

A fair point, though I imagine the not having watched the show contributes to that thought, as fans of the show who've read seem to be largely positive on that, telling me they think I captured the tone of the show, that they could hear the characters saying the words I'd put in their mouths, that they wish I'd written for the show... That last one was a nice compliment, but it's for the best I didn't. I was a teenager when the show was airing. Waiting until I was in my 30s to start with the fanfic was the right call, IMO. My work is better for it.

where2r1

I already told you: your dialog is outstanding. And it is beautifully written.

where2r1 wrote: »

I did read the beginning of the story...I have to say: BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN. Dialog is outstanding. I think I could read it if I were looking for something along those lines.

And scrolling back and seeing I wrote this THREE times....in one way or another....means nothing to you?

where2r1 wrote: »

OK. I am reading Part 1. I have to say: it is quite jarring the juxtaposition of a romance inside a Star Trek episode, the way you have written it. I would even say: get rid of the Star Trek episode.

where2r1 wrote: »

Ok done with chapter one. Still can not get into this. This skipping back and forth, and the alien thing...

where2r1 wrote: »

I still think your "romance" part is good enough to stand on its own. I don't know why you feel you need the rest of it.

where2r1 wrote: »

But interspersing the two back and forth...it is choppy at best.

What is the point? If you can't learn something from me having a negative reading experience?