Maybe I should explain my process here... I was doing this all day.
See.... I read a little bit at a time...between chores and cooking meals and when I go to bed. When I get done reading a bit...I write down the notes right here in the forums. Read a bit more....write down more notes. OR edit what I already wrote.
I write down these notes because I want to remember these things: how I felt after reading, what it made me think about....etc. It may be something that is passing and, eventually, gets edited out.
Don't sit there and try to tell me: I didn't have those feelings because....this, this or this. Or I didn't have those thoughts because I never saw the TV show.
Besides wasn't that the whole point??? How well does your story telling hold up for someone who NEVER saw the TV show? You wanted to see how much your writing could stand on its own???
That is why I said: I am not watching the Episodes nor am I watching the reviews of the Episodes.
It is significant: if I repeat the same feelings to you in my notes over and over.
Post edited by where2r1 on
"Spend your life doing strange things with weird people." -- UNK
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
I did read the beginning of the story...I have to say: BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN. Dialog is outstanding. I think I could read it if I were looking for something along those lines.
And scrolling back and seeing I wrote this THREE times....in one way or another....means nothing to you?
OK. I am reading Part 1. I have to say: it is quite jarring the juxtaposition of a romance inside a Star Trek episode, the way you have written it. I would even say: get rid of the Star Trek episode.
Don't sit there and try to tell me: I didn't have those feelings because....this, this or this. Or I didn't have those thoughts because I never saw the TV show.
Wait, when did I do that? I feel like there's been a serious communications breakdown somewhere along the line.
Re: communication breakdown..... you think???? LOL!
Anyhoo, wasn't on the Forums much yesterday....doing laundry and trying to get 20 hours played on my Jem'Hadar so I was babysitting her on Risa the whole day and into the night.
I did read your story...in between, though. I got to when Seven talks to Kim and then runs into Neelix in the hydroponics garden. Now, that would be cool....hydroponics gardening....I would try it here in Arizona but for the mosquitoes it would attract. Mosquitoes, suck.
I was NOT taking mental notes yesterday. I don't believe I saw anything jarring. Though a question that kept crawling into my mind: did you copy dialog FROM the TV show? Or is it all your own original work?
"Spend your life doing strange things with weird people." -- UNK
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
Though a question that kept crawling into my mind: did you copy dialog FROM the TV show? Or is it all your own original work?
A mixture of both. Also, occasionally I would shift the lines to another character*, or turn a monologue delivered by one character into a dialogue between two for my version. Sometimes I also changed the tone; I'd take a kind of dumb line that was spoken with all seriousness on the show, and keep the line, but have the character be sarcastic instead. You'd be surprised at how often that improved a scene. *LOL*
But generally speaking, if it's technobabble, it came straight from the show. I am not that clever. Though I did dial it back a bit; one of Voyager's biggest issues was it's over-reliance on technobabble. All Trek is guilty of this (with DS9 and Enterprise doing it the least), and a lot of the time you can let it slide, but Voyager's writing staff never really learned when not to use it.
Also, about 98% of Samantha's lines are original dialogue (well, barring references) since she wasn't on the show that much, and of the three episodes she was in during the time Jeri Ryan was on the show, only one of them was an episode I adapted. She was something of a blank slate. All I really knew for sure from the canon was; she was married, she was a xenobiologist, she loved her daughter, and she tolerated Neelix for some reason.
* By which I mean, sometimes dialogue concerning an engineering problem in an episode would be given to Harry Kim. Except, B'Elanna is the chief engineer, so that didn't really make sense. So, I fixed it.
Sorry, have not read anything in a day or two....trying to catch up on a TV show I missed.
"The Tesla Files" It is actually pretty interesting. People re-building/recreating Nikola Tesla's inventions.... hunting for his notes and missing gear...etc...etc...
Of course, there are conspiracy theories....what good story would not have one of those????
You know....I have no idea why they call this channel "The History Channel" any more.
It is more like modern myths about Tesla. Which is interesting, but not exactly history, you know. They are using Tesla experiments and all his files and turned it into a story similar to The Da Vinci Code. Though, they are definitely not getting that deep into details. I am sure the book will be better. LOL!
Anyhoo...I am going to get back to reading your book, again. Sometime between Hunts and Dances on Risa. LOL!
I hope they don't TRIBBLE up "In Search Of....."
"Spend your life doing strange things with weird people." -- UNK
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
Reading just does not seem to be happening for me this week. I can not concentrate. My brain is going 10000 miles an hour on "stuff"...even my sleep is suffering. Can not figure out what is going on there.
So, I will revisit your book next week.
"Spend your life doing strange things with weird people." -- UNK
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
This Doctor character is quite funny. I like him. Uh, it.
I did do my best to capture the character. Honestly, he was probably the best character on the show. So naturally I changed him as little as possible. Why mess with success?
Oh, I just thought I would stop in and say.... I definitely notice a smoothing out of the romance and of the TV episodes now that I am further into Part 1.
It was really rocky at the beginning...but definitely in your groove, now. They seem to mesh much better the longer you were at it.
Verdict is still out on if I like it or not....I want to see a punch line for part 1, you know.
"Spend your life doing strange things with weird people." -- UNK
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
Each story has a beginning, an introduction. You meet the players, you learn what the characters are about, you learn the plot.
Then you get a middle...where the plot thickens and you get to watch the characters interact with each other and watch the author builds the story up.
Then the coda. The ending. The ta-da reveal...what all this lead up to. The punchline.
I want a punchline that makes me think....OMG!!! I can't believe that just happened. THAT gets me to buy the next book. And makes me fall in love with the characters and series, or not.
Though I have to say: some authors are better at it than others....BUT it is the moment I am looking for as a reader and as the audience to any performance.
"Spend your life doing strange things with weird people." -- UNK
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
"What is the most unexpected thing that can happen in this story?"
Actually, that is from a writing tip that I get on my FB feed.
The most interesting "tips" to help me be a better reader...doesn't come from the reading- or book- related web sites....it comes from the writing ones? They help me think about what I am reading.
"Spend your life doing strange things with weird people." -- UNK
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
Oh, BTW, not sure if you'd be interested in this at all, but when I was writing the fic, I had a sort of "soundtrack" made for it. It doesn't really add anything to the experience (I mean, unless you were curious to hear the song where the 4 individual parts got their titles from), but it doesn't detract either. So...
I worry if I download all these apps to my Kindle, I will run out of space for all the books I buy. Yes, I have a To Buy as well as a To Be Read book list.
"Spend your life doing strange things with weird people." -- UNK
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
I am back to reading. Risa is over and I have all my STO character's ground trays back in some semblance of order, now. Unfortunately, I had to reboot my Kindle and lost my place in Book 1....browser window I had your book opened on got closed, you know.
So, gonna be skimming through to figure out where I had left off....
"Spend your life doing strange things with weird people." -- UNK
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
Nope. AO3 is completely free. They do annual fundraisers to keep it going, but they tend to happen around the time of year when I'm least financially comfortable.
Thought I would stop by and say: Hey! Have I found time to read? No.
I am going to have to pretty much start skimming from the beginning...because I completely lost my place by, now. But refreshing the story in my mind is OK.
Plus going into it knowing the story gels much better as you got more into the flow of it...I would be more patient on the reader side.
I have "too many irons on the fire" right, now. I can't even find time to read a book.
"Spend your life doing strange things with weird people." -- UNK
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
Thought I would stop by and say: Hey! Have I found time to read? No.
I am going to have to pretty much start skimming from the beginning...because I completely lost my place by, now. But refreshing the story in my mind is OK.
Plus going into it knowing the story gels much better as you got more into the flow of it...I would be more patient on the reader side.
I have "too many irons on the fire" right, now. I can't even find time to read a book.
I know that feeling. And I'm unemployed right now so I have no one to blame for that but myself. I've developed a saying in recent years; Free time is the enemy. I was much better at finding time for movies and books back when I had a job, ironically.
Comments
See.... I read a little bit at a time...between chores and cooking meals and when I go to bed. When I get done reading a bit...I write down the notes right here in the forums. Read a bit more....write down more notes. OR edit what I already wrote.
I write down these notes because I want to remember these things: how I felt after reading, what it made me think about....etc. It may be something that is passing and, eventually, gets edited out.
Don't sit there and try to tell me: I didn't have those feelings because....this, this or this. Or I didn't have those thoughts because I never saw the TV show.
Besides wasn't that the whole point??? How well does your story telling hold up for someone who NEVER saw the TV show? You wanted to see how much your writing could stand on its own???
That is why I said: I am not watching the Episodes nor am I watching the reviews of the Episodes.
It is significant: if I repeat the same feelings to you in my notes over and over.
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
I thought I was just answering questions. I seem to have caused offense without intending too.
Tumblr: thehumanarkle.tumblr.com
Twitter: @G33kOfAllTrades
YouTube: youtube.com/user/arklestudios
AO3 Pseudonym: ZeusParker
Wait, when did I do that? I feel like there's been a serious communications breakdown somewhere along the line.
Tumblr: thehumanarkle.tumblr.com
Twitter: @G33kOfAllTrades
YouTube: youtube.com/user/arklestudios
AO3 Pseudonym: ZeusParker
Anyhoo, wasn't on the Forums much yesterday....doing laundry and trying to get 20 hours played on my Jem'Hadar so I was babysitting her on Risa the whole day and into the night.
I did read your story...in between, though. I got to when Seven talks to Kim and then runs into Neelix in the hydroponics garden. Now, that would be cool....hydroponics gardening....I would try it here in Arizona but for the mosquitoes it would attract. Mosquitoes, suck.
I was NOT taking mental notes yesterday. I don't believe I saw anything jarring. Though a question that kept crawling into my mind: did you copy dialog FROM the TV show? Or is it all your own original work?
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
A mixture of both. Also, occasionally I would shift the lines to another character*, or turn a monologue delivered by one character into a dialogue between two for my version. Sometimes I also changed the tone; I'd take a kind of dumb line that was spoken with all seriousness on the show, and keep the line, but have the character be sarcastic instead. You'd be surprised at how often that improved a scene. *LOL*
But generally speaking, if it's technobabble, it came straight from the show. I am not that clever.
Also, about 98% of Samantha's lines are original dialogue (well, barring references) since she wasn't on the show that much, and of the three episodes she was in during the time Jeri Ryan was on the show, only one of them was an episode I adapted. She was something of a blank slate. All I really knew for sure from the canon was; she was married, she was a xenobiologist, she loved her daughter, and she tolerated Neelix for some reason.
* By which I mean, sometimes dialogue concerning an engineering problem in an episode would be given to Harry Kim. Except, B'Elanna is the chief engineer, so that didn't really make sense. So, I fixed it.
Tumblr: thehumanarkle.tumblr.com
Twitter: @G33kOfAllTrades
YouTube: youtube.com/user/arklestudios
AO3 Pseudonym: ZeusParker
"The Tesla Files" It is actually pretty interesting. People re-building/recreating Nikola Tesla's inventions.... hunting for his notes and missing gear...etc...etc...
Of course, there are conspiracy theories....what good story would not have one of those????
https://www.history.com/shows/the-tesla-files
And on Friday: "In Search Of...." returns to TV, too. Also, History Channel...used to love watching that show when I was a kid.
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
It is more like modern myths about Tesla. Which is interesting, but not exactly history, you know. They are using Tesla experiments and all his files and turned it into a story similar to The Da Vinci Code. Though, they are definitely not getting that deep into details. I am sure the book will be better. LOL!
Anyhoo...I am going to get back to reading your book, again. Sometime between Hunts and Dances on Risa. LOL!
I hope they don't TRIBBLE up "In Search Of....."
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
Same here. I've been wondering that for years.
Tumblr: thehumanarkle.tumblr.com
Twitter: @G33kOfAllTrades
YouTube: youtube.com/user/arklestudios
AO3 Pseudonym: ZeusParker
So, I will revisit your book next week.
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
I did do my best to capture the character. Honestly, he was probably the best character on the show. So naturally I changed him as little as possible. Why mess with success?
Tumblr: thehumanarkle.tumblr.com
Twitter: @G33kOfAllTrades
YouTube: youtube.com/user/arklestudios
AO3 Pseudonym: ZeusParker
It was really rocky at the beginning...but definitely in your groove, now. They seem to mesh much better the longer you were at it.
Verdict is still out on if I like it or not....I want to see a punch line for part 1, you know.
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
Not sure what you mean by "punch line."
Tumblr: thehumanarkle.tumblr.com
Twitter: @G33kOfAllTrades
YouTube: youtube.com/user/arklestudios
AO3 Pseudonym: ZeusParker
Then you get a middle...where the plot thickens and you get to watch the characters interact with each other and watch the author builds the story up.
Then the coda. The ending. The ta-da reveal...what all this lead up to. The punchline.
I want a punchline that makes me think....OMG!!! I can't believe that just happened. THAT gets me to buy the next book. And makes me fall in love with the characters and series, or not.
Though I have to say: some authors are better at it than others....BUT it is the moment I am looking for as a reader and as the audience to any performance.
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
Tumblr: thehumanarkle.tumblr.com
Twitter: @G33kOfAllTrades
YouTube: youtube.com/user/arklestudios
AO3 Pseudonym: ZeusParker
Actually, that is from a writing tip that I get on my FB feed.
The most interesting "tips" to help me be a better reader...doesn't come from the reading- or book- related web sites....it comes from the writing ones? They help me think about what I am reading.
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
https://open.spotify.com/user/1223442464/playlist/7JKcUhcUnpWtJmbqOG4q5K?si=9TAmlF3uRAulZcgcbDL_sA
Tumblr: thehumanarkle.tumblr.com
Twitter: @G33kOfAllTrades
YouTube: youtube.com/user/arklestudios
AO3 Pseudonym: ZeusParker
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
If you don't have Spotify, there's a YouTube version as well.
Tumblr: thehumanarkle.tumblr.com
Twitter: @G33kOfAllTrades
YouTube: youtube.com/user/arklestudios
AO3 Pseudonym: ZeusParker
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
So, gonna be skimming through to figure out where I had left off....
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
Tumblr: thehumanarkle.tumblr.com
Twitter: @G33kOfAllTrades
YouTube: youtube.com/user/arklestudios
AO3 Pseudonym: ZeusParker
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
Tumblr: thehumanarkle.tumblr.com
Twitter: @G33kOfAllTrades
YouTube: youtube.com/user/arklestudios
AO3 Pseudonym: ZeusParker
I am going to have to pretty much start skimming from the beginning...because I completely lost my place by, now. But refreshing the story in my mind is OK.
Plus going into it knowing the story gels much better as you got more into the flow of it...I would be more patient on the reader side.
I have "too many irons on the fire" right, now. I can't even find time to read a book.
“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” -- Benjamin Franklin
I know that feeling. And I'm unemployed right now so I have no one to blame for that but myself. I've developed a saying in recent years; Free time is the enemy. I was much better at finding time for movies and books back when I had a job, ironically.
Tumblr: thehumanarkle.tumblr.com
Twitter: @G33kOfAllTrades
YouTube: youtube.com/user/arklestudios
AO3 Pseudonym: ZeusParker