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Forums > Home› Ten Forward

Star Trek humor (jokes, puns, riddles -- but nothing insulting, please)

pomonagrange#3097 pomonagrange
pomonagrange#3097
 Member Posts: 112 Arc User
in Ten Forward
I'll start it off:

Q: What is the favorite ride on Defera?
A: Defera's Wheel.

Comments

  • ryan218ryan218 Member Posts: 36,106 Arc User
    edited January 2019
    Did you see the Transporter Chief's mood earlier?

    He was absolutely beaming!

    ***

    Why did Picard buy a textiles manufactory?

    Because he wanted to make it sew.
    Old Wounds
    Trials of Blood and Fire
    Moving On Parts 1-3 - Part 4
    In Cold Blood
  • pomonagrange#3097 pomonagrange
    pomonagrange#3097
         Member Posts: 112 Arc User
    *applauds* Wonderful! Do you have any more?

    (below aren't mine; they're taglines from back when there was a Sci-Fi Echo Conference on BBSes (about 30 years ago))

    Real Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym.
    We are Lucutus of Borg. Have you any Grey Poupon?
    I was assimilated and all they gave me was this t-shirt.
    Now tell me how to set this laser printer to stun.
    We are Curly of Borg. Woowoowoowoowoo.

    (I used to have those and many more written down, but this is all I could remember all these years later.)
  • jonsillsjonsills Member Posts: 10,460 Arc User
    Canadian-Borg.jpg
    Lorna-Wing-sig.png
  • theboxisredtheboxisred Member Posts: 481 Arc User
    ...and then I told her, "It's not a phaser, but it does have a stun setting."
    She got the wrong idea and that's why I stopped putting sausage in my chili.
  • UnknownUnknown
    This content has been removed.
  • artan42artan42 Member Posts: 10,450 Bug Hunter
    A Star Trek joke?

    Star Trek V.
    22762792376_ac7c992b7c_o.png
    Norway and Yeager dammit... I still want my Typhoon and Jupiter though.
    JJ Trek The Kelvin Timeline is just Trek and it's fully canon... get over it. But I still prefer TAR.
    #TASforSTO


    '...I can tell you that we're not in the military and that we intend no harm to the whales.' Kirk: The Voyage Home
    'Starfleet is not a military organisation. Its purpose is exploration.' Picard: Peak Performance
    'This is clearly a military operation. Is that what we are now? Because I thought we were explorers!' Scotty: Into Darkness
    '...The Federation. Starfleet. We're not a military agency.' Scotty: Beyond
    'I'm not a soldier anymore. I'm an engineer.' Miles O'Brien: Empok Nor
    '...Starfleet could use you... It's a peacekeeping and humanitarian armada...' Admiral Pike: Star Trek

    Get the Forums Enhancement Extension!
  • jonsillsjonsills Member Posts: 10,460 Arc User
    artan42 wrote: »
    A Star Trek joke?

    Star Trek V.
    Okay, now how about a good Star Trek joke?
    Lorna-Wing-sig.png
  • UnknownUnknown
    edited January 2019
    This content has been removed.
  • pomonagrange#3097 pomonagrange
    pomonagrange#3097
         Member Posts: 112 Arc User
    Jonsills: Are there any Canadian Ferengi? Or is that a contradiction in terms?
  • pomonagrange#3097 pomonagrange
    pomonagrange#3097
         Member Posts: 112 Arc User
    Btw, I wasn't trying to be insulting or condescending. Just curious.
  • starswordcstarswordc Member Posts: 10,963 Arc User
    Three Klingons walk into a bar.

    For once it's a good thing their skulls are so thick.
    "Great War! / And I cannot take more! / Great tour! / I keep on marching on / I play the great score / There will be no encore / Great War! / The War to End All Wars"
    — Sabaton, "Great War"
    VZ9ASdg.png

    Check out https://unitedfederationofpla.net/s/
  • UnknownUnknown
    This content has been removed.
  • brian334brian334 Member Posts: 2,219 Arc User
    An Andorian, a Tellarite, and a Vulcan enter an 'exotic' nightclub to experience the local culture. On a stage is a very obese female with mottled purple skin covered in lesions and boils. A sign above the stage says, 'Please' Nymphoma, queen of the Nymphoids, and drink free all night.

    The Vulcan scans Nymphoma with his tricorder and says, "She carries several classes and kinds of venereal diseases. Even were I in my time of Pon Farr I would have the presence of mind to avoid mating with her."

    The Andorian says, "Not only is she physically unattractive for my species, she is only one and I require the presence of three other genders to become sexually aroused."

    The Tellarite says, "Free drinks you say?"
  • pomonagrange#3097 pomonagrange
    pomonagrange#3097
         Member Posts: 112 Arc User
    (laughing) Good one!
  • pomonagrange#3097 pomonagrange
    pomonagrange#3097
         Member Posts: 112 Arc User
    Tellarite to human security officer on ESD: "Hones', ossifer. I ain't as think as you drunk I am."
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