New Foundry mission "Tales of Rebellion Pt. 1"

heliolycan

Hey everyone.

I just posted my first foundry mission after messing with the program for a week or so. I would really appreciate some constructive feedback. I plan to really focus of character development and getting to know the crew I've made up, which includes major and minor character arcs. Hope everyone enjoy it.

duncanidaho11

Hey, I just searched for "tales of rebellion" and nothing's coming up in review on either the FED or KDF side (though it would be good to indicate which the mission is for ). Can you confirm that it's published and playable?

heliolycan

Sorry about that, its a Federation mission (I'll remember to add that in the future). Its shows that it's playable on my end. Had trouble properly publishing so I had to pull and republish a few times.

duncanidaho11

And there we go, completed my run.

It's a good first attempt at the Foundry. I liked the characters and you had solid technical execution but events happen very abruptly. What might help when writing/planning is to work out a story outline. This should identify what needs to be explained and how components fit together. Try for a more gradual lead in, a little more exposition, and remember that character dialog can be made optional (if it doesn't have a major impact on the story or how the player experiences it.)

A few other notes:

• Combat difficulty was excessive. You should probably scale back the larger Borg hordes in both ground and space.
• Don't spawn the player in combat.
• Mission objective typo (assisting the rebellion's crew): Defeat The Borg Borg.

heliolycan

Ty for the feedback. Been working on it all day and I'm going to add some more levels. I'll let you know when all the revisions are made.

spiritborn

In addition to what Duncan has already said, several times the hostile NPCs that were using non-standard skins still had their default names, while this isn't game breaking, it does give a bit of lazy image and a simple way is to use generic names like "drone" for those mobs if you want you can even use the names the borg NPChave based on rank but that's more work.

Also another minor thing that should be fixed the objectives talk of ensign Riker but the NPC is named ensign Richards so you should pick which one you want to use as it can get confusing for someone playing the mission, as they would be looking for an NPC named Riker which there is none in the mission atm.

chkargh

heliolycan

spiritborn wrote: »

In addition to what Duncan has already said, several times the hostile NPCs that were using non-standard skins still had their default names, while this isn't game breaking, it does give a bit of lazy image and a simple way is to use generic names like "drone" for those mobs if you want you can even use the names the borg NPChave based on rank but that's more work.

Also another minor thing that should be fixed the objectives talk of ensign Riker but the NPC is named ensign Richards so you should pick which one you want to use as it can get confusing for someone playing the mission, as they would be looking for an NPC named Riker which there is none in the mission atm.

Ty for the feedback, I and its Richards, it was originally Riker, but I didn't want to run into a copyright issue, ill comb through the dialogue again.

heliolycan

Thanks for your patience folks. I have the updated version of the mission up, taking all of your feed back into consideration. Please let me know what you all think. Let me know if you think the fights are still too hard (and which ones). I scaled back most of them.

heliolycan

Scaled back the fights a bit more and added a disclaimer to play this mission on normal difficulty. Still a work in progress. All feed back is appreciated.