Not a bad story at all, rllaillieu. I think it might serve as a good storybed, if you wanted to continue the tale of Tan'atar's sojourn with the Klingons through more stories later, along with his captain's anxiety about his well-being (probably occasionally allayed by messages, either from him or from the Klingons regarding his Record of Battle). It would seem contrived, I think, if you tried to force a one-year-long deployment to its conclusion in a single short story.
@rllaillieu - nice story - It soudns like Tan'atar has quite a rough year in front of him - I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up running the ship, though - seems like he's a knife cutting through some factionalization.
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I have a feeling that I will definitely be doing more of these in the future. I actually had fic ideas for once, which is a most welcome change from my almost three year "drought" of ideas. And yes, victory is indeed life.
I have a feeling that I will definitely be doing more of these in the future. I actually had fic ideas for once, which is a most welcome change from my almost three year "drought" of ideas. And yes, victory is indeed life.
I'll definitely look forward to seeing more of your work Don't forget, that all the past ULCs are unlocked threads, and can be posted to at any time if the inspiration strikes
Right, I've knuckled down and read the other stories (only a month late, but at least I got to them. Better than other things on my to do list!)
@marcusdkane Nicely written. It's hard to pick up how Marcus feels about his ancestor with those revelations, but as a Vulcan, that's to be expected.
@antonine3258 Niiice. I liked how Vexa is trying to look outside the box in terms of her recruitment drives, and Thraak seems like he should be a good fit for that ship.
@rllaillieu a good solid first attempt. Yirit seems like an interesting character. I look forward to seeing more of her. But one thing, I suggest using a line of ************************************************** to mark a change in scene. At first, I thought your Captain had banged her foot or something and was cursing quite badly. XD
@hawku001x A good story, though the fourth wall breaking took me out the story. I did read "The Mother Tribble" exclamaition as being said the way someone says MotherF-", which reads really funny in my head. I may adopt Mother Tribble! as an insult in my stories.
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A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
Right, I've knuckled down and read the other stories (only a month late, but at least I got to them. Better than other things on my to do list!
@hawku001x A good story, though the fourth wall breaking took me out the story. I did read "The Mother Tribble" exclamaition as being said the way someone says MotherF-", which reads really funny in my head. I may adopt Mother Tribble! as an insult in my stories.
Thank you! I didn't even think of motherf--. I will definitely look out for mother tribble, and if you start using it, I might too. lol
For wall smashing, I don't think I've ever written an LC/ULC that didn't do that. I do Captain crossovers in my stories too, and they all have somehow gone through the same STO missions.
@marcusdkane Nicely written. It's hard to pick up how Marcus feels about his ancestor with those revelations, but as a Vulcan, that's to be expected.
Thank you To be fair, Marcus is/was Human, just conditioned by Vulcan emotional practices due to past trauma. I think mostly, he was appreciative of the companionship, as much as feeling anything about William himself. William's an ancestor he would have had some genealogical awareness of, but been too distant to necessarily have any strong opinion about either way, which is why that may have been hard to pick up on
Thank you! I didn't even think of motherf--. I will definitely look out for mother tribble, and if you start using it, I might too. lol
For wall smashing, I don't think I've ever written an LC/ULC that didn't do that. I do Captain crossovers in my stories too, and they all have somehow gone through the same STO missions.
Ahh. Been that long since I've been able to read the ULC's, I've kinda forgotten how other writers write. I did like the comment that they're not meant to be breaking the wall.
@marcusdkane Ah, that makes more sense. I thought he was human in past stories. And the greatful for the company was the sense I was getting from the way he was drinking and politely avoiding answering while also being nice. But it didn't really make sense being Vulcan, which is why I had that trouble pinning down how he thought. Was it Marcus who had that incident on Vulcan with the sandstorm in the valley and his friend that turned into a murderer when they were young? Or am I getting confused with someone else?
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A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
In answer to questions about the "swearing", I use it as a sort of "page break" because I find it looks cool. Also, I've had questions about this on ff.net, but not as many. I've used it for years now, so any attempts to change may meet with limited success. I will attempt to do so, however. It may look like some wierd conglomeration of "!@#$" and "*****" by the end. :V
@antonine3258 Niiice. I liked how Vexa is trying to look outside the box in terms of her recruitment drives, and Thraak seems like he should be a good fit for that ship.
Thanks - the Gorn caste system is sadly under-documented, but Gorn society as a whole seems to be absorbing better into the Empire than they would into the Federation; given the Iconian War, if they're going to breakaway, now is the best time for probably a century, hence Thraak's need to investigate sociologically.
Given the higher respect for science officers in Starfleet, any other captain but D'ellian would probably have to bribe him to get him back. I've been trying to give a bit of a courtly love vibe to their relationship, so she's got an inside track toward keeping him.
Fate - protects fools, small children, and ships named Enterprise Will Riker
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@marcusdkane Ah, that makes more sense. I thought he was human in past stories. And the greatful for the company was the sense I was getting from the way he was drinking and politely avoiding answering while also being nice. But it didn't really make sense being Vulcan, which is why I had that trouble pinning down how he thought. Was it Marcus who had that incident on Vulcan with the sandstorm in the valley and his friend that turned into a murderer when they were young? Or am I getting confused with someone else?
I think you might be confusing Marcus with someone else... He and his best friend Selek did once get stuck in the Forge by a climbing accident, and T'Reya did murder her husband because he kept r*ping and abusing her, if that may be what you're thinking of? Marcus was so emotionally disturbed after saw his mother killed by sharks following a boating accident when he was ten, just prior to his family's planned move to Vulcan, that training him in the Vulcan Disciplines was the only way to overcome the trauma. He essentially assimilated to that culture, which is why he has such typically Vulcan mannerisms.
Aahhh, that's it. Yeah, the Forge and that climbing accident, I kinda remember that story. Though I think I muddled it up, as I remembered a third person being there and him killing that third person. To be honest, I have a terrible memory anyway. It's a wonder I can keep my own captains cannon straight at times. XD
The gorn caste system is something I should think about with K'hotiim. Figure out where he is in it.
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A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
It's tough to keep track! I suggest ST Expanded as a wiki, like Memory Alpha, where authors can make articles on their Captains and ships. (Shameless plug )
Aahhh, that's it. Yeah, the Forge and that climbing accident, I kinda remember that story. Though I think I muddled it up, as I remembered a third person being there and him killing that third person. To be honest, I have a terrible memory anyway. It's a wonder I can keep my own captains cannon straight at times. XD
Ahhhhh..... Marcus and Selek did get in a fight with a bully and his gang while travelling to the Forge... Marcus put the nerve pinch on one of them, before Tuvok notified the poe-lease... Might that have been what you were thinking of?
That's it! I thought there was a fight in that Forge story. Or at least part of the Forge story.
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A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
It's tough to keep track! I suggest ST Expanded as a wiki, like Memory Alpha, where authors can make articles on their Captains and ships. (Shameless plug )
I should probably do a breakdown at some point so I have a backup for my captains' ship histories
Fate - protects fools, small children, and ships named Enterprise Will Riker
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@marcusdkane - Very sweet entry. I really loved the details about the coffee between the two characters, really well done there
@antonine3258 - This was an excellent entry! The little details scattered throughout the piece as Thraak moved around made for very entertaining reading. It was masterful in my book.
Coming in late to the party; I'm working on an entry for prompt #2 but I thought I should review all of your entries first. So here we go, in order of posting...
@grylak:
Your conceptualization of the Gorn is very interesting. I always had them pegged as being one of the more civilized races of the Klingon Empire, preferring creature comforts to sleeping on a hard metal slab, for instance. But I do like that you made Saarish a doctor, and obviously qualified enough to serve as CMO on a Starfleet vessel. I was also amused and strangely pleased to discover that he played violin. He's certainly a very interesting character.
@marcusdkane:
Ah, a little time travel in the mix. (Just what has the good Doctor been up too, I wonder?) A very well-written piece, and an interesting insight into the Kane dynasty.
@antonine3258:
Another cool take on my favorite species! I like that you brought Thraak from the KDF tutorial campaign up through the ranks to the point where he's deemed ready to command a ship of his own. I also really liked his interaction with Vexa's crew.
@rllaillieu:
Welcome to the ULCs! And great job for a first attempt! T'Ali's crew is certainly very interesting; extremely casual for a Romulan ship. The contrast between the disorderly cohesion aboard the Telnor and the orderly chaos on the Du'tagh was rather striking. One suggestion I have: find a different method for making your scene breaks. The string of alt-num characters makes me think someone is swearing. (In old cartoons, comic strips, and the more "PG" comic books, blocks of random characters like that would replace any curse words uttered.) Instead, consider calling out the location of the scene in bold - RRW Telnor and Mol'Rihan, for example. Otherwise, nice work!
@hawku001x:
I am most amused by your irreverence. "All your space are belong to us."
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
@marcusdkane:
Ah, a little time travel in the mix. (Just what has the good Doctor been up too, I wonder?) A very well-written piece, and an interesting insight into the Kane dynasty.
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it, it was certainly fun to do Nothing involving the Doctor in this instance, but a case of an experimental display at Starfleet Command going a bit awry, hence Marcus' need to simply await retrieval, rather than try and work his own way back (which arguably, he might even have done via one-day-at-a-time travel... Immortals're good at that )
@antonine3258:
Another cool take on my favorite species! I like that you brought Thraak from the KDF tutorial campaign up through the ranks to the point where he's deemed ready to command a ship of his own. I also really liked his interaction with Vexa's crew.
My captains reward loyalty; most of my crews are built out of their original officers (Starfleet characters are older from my first time playing STO, so the older, more random first batch, but many Andorian tactical officers).
Fate - protects fools, small children, and ships named Enterprise Will Riker
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Comments
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Rllaillieu, good to have you aboard! You brought some life to the cold Jem'Hadar, and victory is life.
Just done one, also. It's a follow-up to my first post in LC64, but also stands on its own.
'all your space are belong to us' Love It
Good one - adorable ominous purrs in the shadows. The lighting tech joke really amused me, for some reason.
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Thanks! I figured present day horror-type atmospheres needed an explanation in the 25th century.
@marcusdkane Nicely written. It's hard to pick up how Marcus feels about his ancestor with those revelations, but as a Vulcan, that's to be expected.
@antonine3258 Niiice. I liked how Vexa is trying to look outside the box in terms of her recruitment drives, and Thraak seems like he should be a good fit for that ship.
@rllaillieu a good solid first attempt. Yirit seems like an interesting character. I look forward to seeing more of her. But one thing, I suggest using a line of ************************************************** to mark a change in scene. At first, I thought your Captain had banged her foot or something and was cursing quite badly. XD
@hawku001x A good story, though the fourth wall breaking took me out the story. I did read "The Mother Tribble" exclamaition as being said the way someone says MotherF-", which reads really funny in my head. I may adopt Mother Tribble! as an insult in my stories.
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
Thank you! I didn't even think of motherf--. I will definitely look out for mother tribble, and if you start using it, I might too. lol
For wall smashing, I don't think I've ever written an LC/ULC that didn't do that. I do Captain crossovers in my stories too, and they all have somehow gone through the same STO missions.
Ahh. Been that long since I've been able to read the ULC's, I've kinda forgotten how other writers write. I did like the comment that they're not meant to be breaking the wall.
@marcusdkane Ah, that makes more sense. I thought he was human in past stories. And the greatful for the company was the sense I was getting from the way he was drinking and politely avoiding answering while also being nice. But it didn't really make sense being Vulcan, which is why I had that trouble pinning down how he thought. Was it Marcus who had that incident on Vulcan with the sandstorm in the valley and his friend that turned into a murderer when they were young? Or am I getting confused with someone else?
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
Thanks - the Gorn caste system is sadly under-documented, but Gorn society as a whole seems to be absorbing better into the Empire than they would into the Federation; given the Iconian War, if they're going to breakaway, now is the best time for probably a century, hence Thraak's need to investigate sociologically.
Given the higher respect for science officers in Starfleet, any other captain but D'ellian would probably have to bribe him to get him back. I've been trying to give a bit of a courtly love vibe to their relationship, so she's got an inside track toward keeping him.
Member Access Denied Armada!
My forum single-issue of rage: Make the Proton Experimental Weapon go for subsystem targetting!
The gorn caste system is something I should think about with K'hotiim. Figure out where he is in it.
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
I should probably do a breakdown at some point so I have a backup for my captains' ship histories
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@antonine3258 - This was an excellent entry! The little details scattered throughout the piece as Thraak moved around made for very entertaining reading. It was masterful in my book.
Also - I love writing he and D'ellian's little dancing conversations - always having to be the perfect KDF.
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@grylak:
Your conceptualization of the Gorn is very interesting. I always had them pegged as being one of the more civilized races of the Klingon Empire, preferring creature comforts to sleeping on a hard metal slab, for instance. But I do like that you made Saarish a doctor, and obviously qualified enough to serve as CMO on a Starfleet vessel. I was also amused and strangely pleased to discover that he played violin. He's certainly a very interesting character.
@marcusdkane:
Ah, a little time travel in the mix. (Just what has the good Doctor been up too, I wonder?) A very well-written piece, and an interesting insight into the Kane dynasty.
@antonine3258:
Another cool take on my favorite species! I like that you brought Thraak from the KDF tutorial campaign up through the ranks to the point where he's deemed ready to command a ship of his own. I also really liked his interaction with Vexa's crew.
@rllaillieu:
Welcome to the ULCs! And great job for a first attempt! T'Ali's crew is certainly very interesting; extremely casual for a Romulan ship. The contrast between the disorderly cohesion aboard the Telnor and the orderly chaos on the Du'tagh was rather striking. One suggestion I have: find a different method for making your scene breaks. The string of alt-num characters makes me think someone is swearing. (In old cartoons, comic strips, and the more "PG" comic books, blocks of random characters like that would replace any curse words uttered.) Instead, consider calling out the location of the scene in bold - RRW Telnor and Mol'Rihan, for example. Otherwise, nice work!
@hawku001x:
I am most amused by your irreverence. "All your space are belong to us."
...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
- Anne Bredon
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it, it was certainly fun to do Nothing involving the Doctor in this instance, but a case of an experimental display at Starfleet Command going a bit awry, hence Marcus' need to simply await retrieval, rather than try and work his own way back (which arguably, he might even have done via one-day-at-a-time travel... Immortals're good at that )
My captains reward loyalty; most of my crews are built out of their original officers (Starfleet characters are older from my first time playing STO, so the older, more random first batch, but many Andorian tactical officers).
Member Access Denied Armada!
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@rllaillieu: Welcome to the ULCs! This was a very good first entry I hope you stick around to add more of their story!