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Captain's log: Alcohol onboard
deaftravis05
Member Posts: 4,885 Arc User
in Ten Forward
Captain's log, stardate whatever;
One of the greatest perks of being a Fleet Admiral that has fought on the front lines and the hero that ended the wars, is that I pretty much get to do whatever I want to do.
Within Federation law, of course.
Now I have a Ferengi officer on my bridge. I have a few Klingons on my staff. They're awesome Klingons. Sure they sing really loud, but you know why they're so awesome? *giggles* They know where to get real alcohol. Oh sure I got access to Bajoran Springwine, I have acres and acres. Did I tell you I have acres and acres of grapes needed to make the wine?
*gulping*
*burps*
Where was I?
Right, Git. She's a fine officer and so useful. Now don't you get any ideas! That's what the Vulcan holograms are for! She's effective at getting me fine Whisky from Earth and the finest samples of Federation alcohol without Starfleet Command catching wind of the fact that there's alcohol on my ship and it flows as well as bloodwine on a bird of prey!
*sounds of cheering in the background*
The zombies don't drink and neither do the Jem'Hadar. It's a good thing there's only one of each onboard! Hahahaha... ohh.... Right, the Vulcans I have onboard... They don't approve. But at least they don't stand there and stare while we get smashed. Garak'Llar just stands there and stares... The zombie whines a lot. Apparently if they get drunk, they revert to their host's... pshco... pshhyyo... whatever they act like their host before they died. Then they whine, moan and try to kill themselves.
Now why are we smashed you ask? That was the question my senior Vulcan bridge officer asked me as I pour my third, or is it the fourth? bottle of this Canadian whisky? Well, we just killed our 10,000th Tholian this morning! Its crystaline skull adorns my ready room!
Pesky Tholians, they constantly attack us when we don't need it. They never tell us why they're stirring up trouble. They just come in here, issue demands, shoot at us, drop like flies and we add notches to the armory wall. The armory wall! Lots of Borg notches there too!
That's why it's so great to be a Fleet Admiral. All the booze we want, Starfleet Command ignores it as long as we keep the Tholians on the run, the Borg dead and the Tal Shair occupied. I pity those new starfleet captains... with their... synthale.
Now where's that holographic Vulcan?
One of the greatest perks of being a Fleet Admiral that has fought on the front lines and the hero that ended the wars, is that I pretty much get to do whatever I want to do.
Within Federation law, of course.
Now I have a Ferengi officer on my bridge. I have a few Klingons on my staff. They're awesome Klingons. Sure they sing really loud, but you know why they're so awesome? *giggles* They know where to get real alcohol. Oh sure I got access to Bajoran Springwine, I have acres and acres. Did I tell you I have acres and acres of grapes needed to make the wine?
*gulping*
*burps*
Where was I?
Right, Git. She's a fine officer and so useful. Now don't you get any ideas! That's what the Vulcan holograms are for! She's effective at getting me fine Whisky from Earth and the finest samples of Federation alcohol without Starfleet Command catching wind of the fact that there's alcohol on my ship and it flows as well as bloodwine on a bird of prey!
*sounds of cheering in the background*
The zombies don't drink and neither do the Jem'Hadar. It's a good thing there's only one of each onboard! Hahahaha... ohh.... Right, the Vulcans I have onboard... They don't approve. But at least they don't stand there and stare while we get smashed. Garak'Llar just stands there and stares... The zombie whines a lot. Apparently if they get drunk, they revert to their host's... pshco... pshhyyo... whatever they act like their host before they died. Then they whine, moan and try to kill themselves.
Now why are we smashed you ask? That was the question my senior Vulcan bridge officer asked me as I pour my third, or is it the fourth? bottle of this Canadian whisky? Well, we just killed our 10,000th Tholian this morning! Its crystaline skull adorns my ready room!
Pesky Tholians, they constantly attack us when we don't need it. They never tell us why they're stirring up trouble. They just come in here, issue demands, shoot at us, drop like flies and we add notches to the armory wall. The armory wall! Lots of Borg notches there too!
That's why it's so great to be a Fleet Admiral. All the booze we want, Starfleet Command ignores it as long as we keep the Tholians on the run, the Borg dead and the Tal Shair occupied. I pity those new starfleet captains... with their... synthale.
Now where's that holographic Vulcan?
0
Comments
you're not in the delta quadrant yet are you? Storyline-wise
Dareau: "Admiral, reports are coming in from the fleet that certain... officers... are taking liberties with alcoholic beverages."
Eurthyr: skims deaftravis05's report "So, it's not like they're doing it... brazenly..." sips from a 'real' martini while watching the "Jello Wrestlers" - the "elite" morale team assigned to the Little Paradise practice their craft... "And it's not like we have racked up the synthale bill. Speaking of which, did we clear Commander Johan's request for those spare pipes yet? I hear he doesn't quite have engineering looking like that 'monstrosity' from those JJ Abrams 'documentaries'..."
Dareau: "Why yes. And they say the... liquid... those pipes are producing are of a masterful quality. Valerin, bless her Vulcan soul, won't touch the stuff but helps make sure that no... impurities... enter the batches.
Oh, that Andorian Freighter we 'examined' last week? They're about to open the last case of brandy that was aboard her."
Eurthyr: "Blasphemy. Seal that crate in my personal storage room. We need that for our next celebration."
To rob a line: [quote: Mariemaia Kushrenada] Forum Posting is much like an endless waltz. The three beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever. However, opinions will change upon the reading of my post.[/quote]
Your ship sounds fun.
A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
When Starfleet Command sends me on thousands of missions to kill Borg, Klingons, Romulans, Dominion, Undine and blah blah blah... I tend to start appreciating Klingon art.
Just started... I'll wait for my answer.
Norway and Yeager dammit... I still want my Typhoon and Jupiter though.
JJ Trek The Kelvin Timeline is just Trek and it's fully canon... get over it. But I still prefer TAR.
#TASforSTO
'...I can tell you that we're not in the military and that we intend no harm to the whales.' Kirk: The Voyage Home
'Starfleet is not a military organisation. Its purpose is exploration.' Picard: Peak Performance
'This is clearly a military operation. Is that what we are now? Because I thought we were explorers!' Scotty: Into Darkness
'...The Federation. Starfleet. We're not a military agency.' Scotty: Beyond
'I'm not a soldier anymore. I'm an engineer.' Miles O'Brien: Empok Nor
'...Starfleet could use you... It's a peacekeeping and humanitarian armada...' Admiral Pike: Star Trek
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My Ship Builds: USS Conqueror, HMS Victorious, HMS Concord, ISS Queen Elizabeth, Black Widow III
Click here to view my DeviantArt.
My Ship Builds: USS Conqueror, HMS Victorious, HMS Concord, ISS Queen Elizabeth, Black Widow III
Click here to view my DeviantArt.
Idiot, moron, fool, pillock. It's pronounced as in 'git over here now'. It can sometimes be pronounced 'get'.
Norway and Yeager dammit... I still want my Typhoon and Jupiter though.
JJ Trek The Kelvin Timeline is just Trek and it's fully canon... get over it. But I still prefer TAR.
#TASforSTO
'...I can tell you that we're not in the military and that we intend no harm to the whales.' Kirk: The Voyage Home
'Starfleet is not a military organisation. Its purpose is exploration.' Picard: Peak Performance
'This is clearly a military operation. Is that what we are now? Because I thought we were explorers!' Scotty: Into Darkness
'...The Federation. Starfleet. We're not a military agency.' Scotty: Beyond
'I'm not a soldier anymore. I'm an engineer.' Miles O'Brien: Empok Nor
'...Starfleet could use you... It's a peacekeeping and humanitarian armada...' Admiral Pike: Star Trek
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Also: Having a barney means you want to fight. But anyway, those particular words are a British thing.
My Ship Builds: USS Conqueror, HMS Victorious, HMS Concord, ISS Queen Elizabeth, Black Widow III
Click here to view my DeviantArt.