Trouble in Trimble - new Foundry mission

zebgodwin

I just published my first Foundry mission, "Trouble in Trimble". I'd appreciate any feedback.

Summary: Reports of increased pirate activity in the Trimble system lead the player to a hidden Reman settlement and a secret Orion pirate base.

zebgodwin

Mission updated with a bugfix - if you were too close to the freighter when you defeated the last pirate ship, the dialog wouldn't trigger and you couldn't advance in the mission. Also a few minor dialogue tweaks and map improvements.

stcaptainquirky

Very good mission and the little twist in the end was really nice.

I have only a few minor remarks:

1. Personally I think it's best to state the mission entry point in the mission description, the grant mission dialogue and the first mission objective. You only mentioned it in the grant mission dialogue which will be enough for most players but someone who accepts your mission and then spends some time doing something else might forget where he was supposed to go by the time he's ready to start. Consider changing the first mission objective from "Rescue the Carol Ann" to something like "Go to the Trimble system in the Xarantine sector of the beta quadrant".

2. Some buttons in your dialogues still have the default text "Continue".

3. The pirate raid on the colony felt a bit less thrilling than it could have been. Some NPCs were still doing their normal work while a group of pirates was standing next to them (consider phasing those NPCs out when the raid begins or perhaps replace them with copies that have a more appropriate animation for that situation). The pirate groups appeared on the outer rim of the colony and basically just stood there doing nothing until you engaged them (you could move them closer to the center of the colony and spawn some friendly reman guards to engage in fights with them so that it looks as if the remans are actually defending their home. If you want to be sure they don't get wiped out before the player gets in sight you could place a reach marker with appropriate radius around each pirate group and have the reman group spawn when the player gets close enough to have the enemy group in sight.)

4. On the space map the enemy groups were very far away from each other. If you'd reduce the distance between them so that a player who doesn't pay attention can enter the attack range of the next group while fighting the first, it would add a bit of complexity to the space battle. (Players who want to use a "divide and conquer" tactic would actually need at least a bit of situational awareness and players who have the firepower to deal with several groups at once could finish the battle faster).

5. The Outdoor map of the pole region looked really great. I did wonder why there were Nausicaans and Gorn there (and so many of them). Standing guard outside the base in such a hostile environment seems more like a punishment than anything else (the cold should be especially problematic for Gorn). Fighting guards outside the base should also alert the pirates inside to your presence (even if you don't use the main entrance later on) but they just seem to relax until you attack them. In my opinion wild animals and the freezing Ferengi would have been enough on that map (but that's really just an opinion).

6. In the final space battle there are again large distances between the enemy groups which is convenient for the player but makes the battle less exciting. (See point 4. Alternatively you could also leave the starting positions as they are but set paths for the enemy groups to have them close in on the players starting position from different directions).


Of course all of these points are more cosmetical changes than anything else and to a large degree a matter of personal taste.

Overall the mission is really enjoyable and deserves a place in the top 3 system.