How do you think the Ferengi version of "Brewsters Millions" would play out?

lonnehart

I'm sure people remember the story. A man inherits a million dollars from his grandfather. Then his rich uncle dies and leaves the man a lot more... but he will get it on the condition that he spends all of the money his grandfather left him.

There would be rules on how to spend the money of course. Such as having nothing to show for it, limiting the amount lost to crime or gambling, etc...


Seeing as the Ferengi are the "masters of finance" (I see them as this anyway) how do you suppose the Ferengi version of the story will go?


I'm sure everyone's seen the version with Richard Pryor in it (though the goal was to get the best value out of your money but still have nothing to show for it)...

grandnaguszek1

The Ferengi would hide the million dollars and then say he did spend it so he would inherit the rest of the money. After all you have to remember the 6th rule of acquisition, "never let family stand in the way of opportunity".

steamwright

grandnaguszek1 wrote: »

The Ferengi would hide the million dollars and then say he did spend it so he would inherit the rest of the money. After all you have to remember the 6th rule of acquisition, "never let family stand in the way of opportunity".

Wow, this would be an awesome story for the Ferengi!

First you have the challenge to deplete all weath, a direct confrontation to Rule #18 "A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all." And seemingly a wise Ferengi would hesitate because its sounds too good to be true. Rule #190 "Hear all, trust nothing." But no Ferengi could forget Rule #62 "The riskier the road, the greater the profit." And this is a doozy of a playout of that. He's got to go for it.

I suspect you'd see a result a little like grandnaguszek1's suggestion of hiding the million. However, you just know there's going to be a stipulation of auditing by the Ferengi Commerce Authority. Sooo...I suspect he's going to have to spend some of the million to bribe people to both hide the rest and tell the FCA that he spent funds. But to do so, he'll need to follow Rule #3 "Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to." The comedy will be how he tries to find people he can manipulate, starting with the easy marks: employees & those in his debt. (Rule#211 "Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them." and Rule #111 "Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them.")

It will get crazier as he runs out of easy targets and has to come up with elaborate schemes to manipulate others. But Rule #98 "Every man has his price." He'll likely have to disguise some of the funds to put into the care of others without them realizing the golden opportunity to rip him off. Frankly, if I were him, I'd drop a little gossip that gets two rivals heated up and into a fight, and while they're distracted, drop some of the money into the bottom of the office planters (or such like). That'd fulfill Rule #168 "Whisper your way to success."

Let's say he succeeds and gets the uncle's greater wealth. The kicker at the end is that, unknown to the audience, as soon as he was told the conditions required, he secretly TRIBBLE the law firm's accounts and has been paying all his bribe money from their funds. His own take on Rule #9 "Opportunity plus instinct equals profit."

His original million is still fully intact. :cool:

lonnehart

Wow... The Rules of Aquisition do make the story a lot more interesting. However, instead of dollars they'd be dealing with latinum.

jorantomalak

knowing ferengis as they are

He would spend his grandfathers money on stuff from companies he has stock in or owns under a different name then he would resell said bought items at a higher price to people who need the stuff tripling his money and being well within the rules AND getiting his uncles fortune.

saihung423

steamwright wrote: »

Wow, this would be an awesome story for the Ferengi!

First you have the challenge to deplete all weath, a direct confrontation to Rule #18 "A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all." And seemingly a wise Ferengi would hesitate because its sounds too good to be true. Rule #190 "Hear all, trust nothing." But no Ferengi could forget Rule #62 "The riskier the road, the greater the profit." And this is a doozy of a playout of that. He's got to go for it.

I suspect you'd see a result a little like grandnaguszek1's suggestion of hiding the million. However, you just know there's going to be a stipulation of auditing by the Ferengi Commerce Authority. Sooo...I suspect he's going to have to spend some of the million to bribe people to both hide the rest and tell the FCA that he spent funds. But to do so, he'll need to follow Rule #3 "Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to." The comedy will be how he tries to find people he can manipulate, starting with the easy marks: employees & those in his debt. (Rule#211 "Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them." and Rule #111 "Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them.")

It will get crazier as he runs out of easy targets and has to come up with elaborate schemes to manipulate others. But Rule #98 "Every man has his price." He'll likely have to disguise some of the funds to put into the care of others without them realizing the golden opportunity to rip him off. Frankly, if I were him, I'd drop a little gossip that gets two rivals heated up and into a fight, and while they're distracted, drop some of the money into the bottom of the office planters (or such like). That'd fulfill Rule #168 "Whisper your way to success."

Let's say he succeeds and gets the uncle's greater wealth. The kicker at the end is that, unknown to the audience, as soon as he was told the conditions required, he secretly TRIBBLE the law firm's accounts and has been paying all his bribe money from their funds. His own take on Rule #9 "Opportunity plus instinct equals profit."

His original million is still fully intact. :cool:

Brilliant. My compliments.