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The Krios Conspiracy Part 1
commandermic
Member Posts: 124 Arc User
Hello dear foundry-community.
I've decided to translate my actual foundry mission into english. I'm not a native speaker, but I hope my english is well enough at this mission - if you find mistakes, you can mail to Mic@commandermic or post in this thread. Thanks for understanding
I hope you'll have fun with this one, so here it is:
Mission title: The Krios Conspiracy Part 1
Faction: Klingon
Level: 16+
Duration: 75-120 minutes
Mission description:
The House of Mak'Tor has asked you to investigate the destruction of a klingon ship by the Romulans somewhere nearby the Krios system. Actually a routine job - Already the Klingon High Council has classified this matter as too unsignificant to further pursue it. Possibly a fatal miscalculation?
The mission is the beginnig of a series, more missions will follow later.
So I wish you have fun with it :cool:
greetings, commandermic
I've decided to translate my actual foundry mission into english. I'm not a native speaker, but I hope my english is well enough at this mission - if you find mistakes, you can mail to Mic@commandermic or post in this thread. Thanks for understanding
I hope you'll have fun with this one, so here it is:
Mission title: The Krios Conspiracy Part 1
Faction: Klingon
Level: 16+
Duration: 75-120 minutes
Mission description:
The House of Mak'Tor has asked you to investigate the destruction of a klingon ship by the Romulans somewhere nearby the Krios system. Actually a routine job - Already the Klingon High Council has classified this matter as too unsignificant to further pursue it. Possibly a fatal miscalculation?
The mission is the beginnig of a series, more missions will follow later.
So I wish you have fun with it :cool:
greetings, commandermic
Post edited by baddmoonrizin on
0
This discussion has been closed.
Comments
Qapla ' should not have a space before the apostrope
"has been attacked and was" should be "was attacked and"
You capitalized Klingon and Federation but not Romulan.
"He cannot bear K'Rok namely." should probably be "However, he cannot stand K'Rok." or "Namely that he cannot bear K'Rok."
"It is an honour to back up you." might be better as "It is an honour to back you up"
"Why does governor Talec don't like him?" should be "Why does governor Talec not like him?"
"we better don't waste" should be ""we better not waste"
Gorn stockman:
"2309er" should be "2309"
Klingon:
"Especially cause" should be "Especially because"
"Further listen" should be "Listen further"
"He is Talec's" should be "He has been Talec's"
Weather researcher:
"While on Krios currently prevail very wintry conditions on the entire planet," would be better as "While very wintry conditions currently prevail on the entire planet,"
Historical archive:
"Tucker III. of the earthly" should be "Tucker III of the Earth"
"Thus he should be" > "Thus he was"
"broke down fastly" > "broke down quickly"
"but couldn't possess" > "but didn't possess"
"troups" > "troops"
"which is located on the todays Valt Minor called planet" > "which is located on the planet called Valt Minor today"
"as Valt" > "than Valt"
"reighned" > "reigned"
"got very annoyed about" > "became very angry about it"
"In 2368 " > "In 2368, "
"should aboard" > "came aboard"
"should be a gift" > "was to be a gift"
"has been injured" > "was injured"
"Already seven months" > "Only seven months"
"has begun" > "had begun"
"folks" is technically the right usage, but for this context "people" is more commonly used.
Governor Talec:
"grandiloquently"?
"K'roks haunt" > "K'rok's haunt"
Lieutenant Bralk:
"just even on Krios"?
"have really" > "really have"
"location" would probably be better in this context than "haunt"
"Regler fur Switch conduits 2 and 32 und 3" this appears to be in German. :P
"Afore" > "Before"
"Orioner" > "Orion man"
"Andorianerin" > "Andorian woman"
Boslic freighter captain:
"my cargo eventually" > "my cargo"
I'm not sure what you were going for with the next sentance. I'm guessing you meant "behind with my schedule".
"Holoprogramm beenden" more German.
General K'Rok:
"which should intercept" > "which would intercept"
"warbirs" > "warbirds"
"this cursed" > "those cursed"
"But until now" > "But by now"
"manipulative to me" > "manipulative for me"
Mylinya:
When you say "unregistered transporter" are you refering to shuttle or to a transporter device?
"Qapla '" again
Nodek:
"Ferengie-toad"
The interact for beaming people to the X'Eratuul is in German.
General K'Rok:
"informations" > "information"
"interfers any sensors" > "interfers with any sensors"
Ikalian belt:
"come accross to" > "come across"
"make them uncloaking" > "make them uncloak"
"provocate" > "provoke"
Mylinya:
"some of the by the probes emitted tachyons" > "some of the tachyons emitted by the probes"
Cha'lora:
"technical division" Hmm... engineering?
K'Rok:
"Certainly ," extra space.
Officer:
"especially the Romulans" > "especially since the Romulans"
Mylinya:
"worryingly" > "worrying"
"as many data" > "as much data"
"Romulanischer Computer" more German
Other notes:
some of the walls in the lounge have a protruding seam. It's barely noticable though.
Some of the optional dialogs have no button to exit the dialog and you have to close the dialog window to leave the dialog.
I like that you used a Boslic.
Hmm... you should clarify a bit on the cloak since one of the Romulan Z-store consoles(on the D'Ridthau) is a phase shift device. Maybe explain that it's an attempt to improve that device?
Overall I thought you had a good story and some REALLY nice sets.
My character Tsin'xing
"Thus she was acquired both the confidence and the admiration of most Kriosians."
not sure what you mean about this one.
same here. not understandable what i wanted to say at these two or what's wrong about that?
i thought of a shuttle, or maybe a freighter or any other ship.
hm it was an engineering station, but not main engineering. i now have written "engineering division". would that be ok?
maybe i do that^^ nice to hear^^ an big thanks for proofreading my mission
hehe, thx :cool:
A foundry by commandermic
arcgames.com/en/forums#/discussion/comment/11723972
My character Tsin'xing
ok, i got this word from dict.cc
perhaps that is what happens if i try to translate colloquial words...the german word for it was "hochtrabend" . maybe i should simply write "arrogantly"
i'll overlook this, could be a little mistake in meaning. I'll edit this thread here once i was back in the foundry and post the whole sentence here.
UPDATE:
so i've checked now, the original sentence is this:
"K'Rok? I know him. As far as I know he is just even on Krios."
now i changed it to this:
"K'Rok? I know him. As far as I know he's currently on Krios."
bralk should think that k'rok is on krios at the moment, although he isn't sure about this at 100% more like 90%.
ok, i'll correct that.
A foundry by commandermic
arcgames.com/en/forums#/discussion/comment/11723972