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Extraction
Mission ID: Extraction - ST-HRJS4PZ5N
This is my "first" official Foundry mission. I have made 3, one that's WIP, and one I deleted entirely because of quality.
The mission begins at Ker'rat and makes more sense if you place it in the "Klingon War" arc. Now, as of 1/18/14, you can find this mission under "New" or run a search for Extraction by nak3dsnake. This mission is the first of a four part series, part two "Deception" coming soon. This was my first attempt at writing dialogue for characters and the warp sequence, and I thought it was good overall.
Yes, it has combat, mild combat however until the finale. It's not too tough, I mostly focused on the mechanics of the mission more than story or combat.
This is my "first" official Foundry mission. I have made 3, one that's WIP, and one I deleted entirely because of quality.
The mission begins at Ker'rat and makes more sense if you place it in the "Klingon War" arc. Now, as of 1/18/14, you can find this mission under "New" or run a search for Extraction by nak3dsnake. This mission is the first of a four part series, part two "Deception" coming soon. This was my first attempt at writing dialogue for characters and the warp sequence, and I thought it was good overall.
Yes, it has combat, mild combat however until the finale. It's not too tough, I mostly focused on the mechanics of the mission more than story or combat.
Post edited by baddmoonrizin on
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Good luck, I'll check it out when I've got the time.
I call it, the Stoutes paradox.
EDIT: 1.17, the final version for a while, has been published.
http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?p=14554631#post14554631
EDIT-
Having played the mission i can say i enjoyed it, nice combat focused mission, but a lot more enjoyable than your average grinder
Mechanics were nice and smooth in my opinion, so well done on that front
I intended this to be a test bed of sorts, a Foundry mission I can look at and improve over time. The story, will also tie in to my second mission, which will be standalone, but if you've played this mission and then play "The Gauntlet Awaits", you'll have a few different dialogue options, but I'm not giving it all away.
Final major mission update for a while here - 2.1. This adds additional dialog and ties the mission up nicely. This will set the tone for "The Gauntlet Awaits".
Please replay, as this is the final major update of Extraction!
Sounds good to me , i very much appreciate dialog options
Though perhaps i used the wrong word when saying grinder, Its a nice well structure mission, Not too disimilar from a Cryptic style of mission
For the ground Combat i liked the slightly clustered enemies in one room, I'll admit it took me off guard when fighting two mobs in one, But i think its a good thing when a mission takes me off balance a little, keeps me on my toes
10chars
My character Tsin'xing
Federation Mission - Extraction
Author: nak3dsnake
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HRJS4PZ5N
Report Start
Summary: This is a great mission, especially for a first official Foundry mission. The map designs are well done, the battles fairly well balanced and the story dialogue is well written. I would definitely recommend this mission to other players who like the combination of balanced combat and well written story dialogue.
Below I mention a possible plot inconsistency in the story between the dialogue on the U.S.S. Byzantine Deck 16 and Byzantine Bridge maps. The dialogue on the Bridge map regarding the disabling of the device follows the revelation that Jarpek was actually a hologram. This makes it seem as if the device the player disabled on the previous map somehow allowed Jarpek to fight using a hologram. That implication is the problem with the dialogue. If the device was linked to the holographic image of Jarpek, which is implied by the dialogue, then how would he still be able to fight as a hologram if the device was disabled? If the holographic Jarpek was not linked to the device then you should consider moving the dialogue that discusses the purpose of the device from the Byzantine Bridge map to the U.S.S. Byzantine Deck 16 map following the player disabling the device.
Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This is a nice description but you may want to add more of the story and less about the version updates. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-It is okay to have version updates but consider summarizing them as in the example;
2.3.1 - Dialog updates
2.3 - Addressed plot issue and story development
2.2 - Dialog fixes and character updates
2.1 - Fixed NPC placement
Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the "after a long mission [MissionInfo](See: The Doomsday Device)[/MissionInfo]" to read "after dealing with the doomsday device".
Mission Task: This is a good use of the task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the entry prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
MAPS:
Deep Space: This is a good map with fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-If you are going to use the warp streaks then consider changing your map orientation to a westerly orientation and using "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" effect. It looks more like warp space then the "Weather Starstreaks North South 01" regardless of the players speed. The other issue is if the player is not lined up at precisely the right angle and altitude when the warp starts it looks odd. Perhaps remove the warp streaks altogether and have the player warp directly to the system when they engage the warp.
-The post Disable Communications Array dialogue; consider changing the response button "They won't know what hit him before it's too late" to read "They won't know what hit them".
-The map transfer text; consider changing "We're walking into an ambush" to read "We're walking into a trap".
U.S.S. Byzantine Deck 16: This is a good map with fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-You have to cargo lifts in the first room where we engage the first enemy mob. They appear to be buried in the deck. If the intention is to make them seem unpowered and on the deck then raise them up a little more. Experiment with the Y axis settings and remember to disable the snap to grid function on the map when editing.
-The Energy Dampener Device seems quite large and looks odd. Consider selecting a smaller object to be the dampener, perhaps half the current size.
-The Lt. Cmdr Roberts dialogue; consider changing "Someone, anyone on this deck, please help us" to read "Someone please help us".
-Consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "Let's go", or words to that effect.
-I realize the door selection in the Foundry is limited but consider changing the door to something other than a Klingon door.
-Having the player run all the way back across the map to access the turbo lift does not feel quite right. Consider removing the turbo lift located at the initial spawn point and change the wall door just outside of engineering to be the exit point for this map. If you did this you could add another raiding party to the room and hallway currently being covered by the turbolift.
Byzantine Bridge: This is a good map with a fun battle and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the Science BOFF dialogue "I dont want to know what would have happened if we didnt disable it in time" to read "I shudder to think of what might have happened had we not disable that device".
-The Captain Dravan dialogue; consider changing "but we were too outnumbered" to read "but we were outnumbered".
-Based on the dialogue regarding the dampener device on the previous map and this map there is a bit of a plot inconsistency. I will cover it in more detail in my summary.
Klingon Installation: This is a good map with challenging but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.
End Report
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
This critique report also filed 02/02/2014 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.