LoR A romulans journey

messahla

Stardate 123456789.10 2409

The Prelude

Its the tapping festival on the colony of virinat and everyone is all excited while me (The hero 1 of many) is just looking forward to getting plowed and waking up in a roadside ditch.
With a massive hangover and a pair of wooden shoes and no idea wth happened the night before.
But my dreams of inebriation is short lived when those buzz killers the Tal'Shiar come and crash the party and wipe out the colony....now im stuck in a shuttle with tovan khev yeah the romulan version of wesley crusher (SHUT UP TOVAN!!).
Well we watch 2 shuttles get blown to bits people we know vaporised and then enter the warbird...sure its like 200 years old and needing ..well everything but hey its better then the shuttle...i hope.
Well we salvage some some parts from wrecks cobble it together on this old rust bucket and find some depleted neutronium then we save some people YAY US!!
Well just when were in the clear this strange ship that talks backwards shows up then some bald tal shiar guy whos names sounds more like hocking a lougie or was it hackeev oh well.
well anyways the weirdos leave and we fight achoo or whatever his name is and some guy named temer or lemer or neener i cant remeber saves our bacon...mmm bacon.

So now we find ourselves at this rebel flotilla now having to join them.....but we dont get a choice....but you guys know this already.....after all were all doing the same thing :P

Act I : A Hero is Bored

I enter the office of temer

Temer : Welocme to the flotilla may i take your order?

Me: yeah i will have a burger and fries and...wait when did this become mcdonalds?

Temer : Hey we dont have alot of money so we need minimum wages jobs just so we can make sure D'Tan gets his proper bowl haircut so he can look like a romulan moe howard.

Me: Uhm..okay?....so uhm now what do i do...since im not ordering

Temer : well are you joining the fleet? and do you want fries with that shake ( Chuckles under breath)

Me: Yeah but only because the game developers are making me and no i dont want fries with that shake....(damnit he got me with that old joke ).

Temer : well welcome to the romulan republic crew you just go down the hall hang a left and grab a uniform a hair net and an apron.

Me: Ok but...HEY WAIT!!! what about a ship and guns and stuff

Temer : Ships and guns? yeah we got some of the most advanced ships in the galaxy and the best guns. BUT you get to use that old warbird you got cobbled together and you can buy some of our low grade weapons and stuff.

Me: :eek: wth? but arent we in the fleet?

Temer : Yup

Me: Then why cant i have a new ship...why leave me with that old rust bucket and some crappy guns.

Temer : Well you see theres a romulan mark shortage

Me: WHAT?! but how can THAT be

Temer : Well the cofers are low because we have to pay the federation and klingons to patrol our space even though we have a fleet.

Me: So what else do they get :rolleyes:

Temer : Well they get to purchase the most advanced weapons and technology that we can provided.

Me : :eek:

Temer : Dont feel so bad you get a BRAND NEW uniform and a snazzy apron with the golden arches emblazoned on it.

Me : Well can i atleast get a new first officer tovan is annoying as hell

Temer : Sorry no can do those are reserved for sometime later when you really dont need them.

Me: What if i say TRIBBLE you and go join sela and the RSE

Temer : You cant

Me : WHY NOT!!!

Temer : because the cryptic developers said so

Sometime later aboard the old rusty warbird at the flotilla

Me: Welcome to mcdonalds may i take your order

And thus a hero is bored and his journey begins

messahla

Prelude to......something interesting ....well sort of

We catch up with our hero (Me im so dashing and handsome and ripped and modest )
as he embarks on his first real missions for the republic.
By this time achoo...or was that hakeev whatever his name is has lost an eye because i took a toilet plunger and....no i cant its to graphic and theres young kids reading this.
well anyways our hero finds himself going to the suliban helix to find refugess or was that pauley shore (no ones seen him since the 90s and D'Tan is a big fan).
Well anyways our hero arrives at the helix in his old rusty warbird and a big mac large fries and a shake supersized that will be $6.99 at the window.

Act II : The good the bad and the suliban

I arrive at the helix and get hailed by a tal shiar warbird

Tal shiar : This is tal shiar space what are you doing here and i can see by our records that ship is RSE property (Looks at the ship starts laughing) damn where the hell you get THAT!!!

Me: well idk really it used to belong to a guy named D'vex but he is nothing more then vapor floating around viranat right now

Tal shiar: (talking to his bridge crew ) Hey guys look at this guys ship i think the rust is holding it together.

Me: HEY!! were right here on the viewscreen if you dont mind

Tal Shiar : (tries to be serious then looks at the ship and bursts into laughter)

The crew of the tal shiar ship dies of laughter but i cannot take their nice brand new t'varo because the devs said so

*Receives a hail from the helix*

Kaiyen : Welcome to krazy kaiyens house of used cell ships where we will take anything in on trade, (Looks my ship) almost anything on trade.

Me : were not here to rob you

Kaiyen : Seriosuly? in THAT?!

Me: well uhm (Damnit tovan why you tell me to say that)

Tovan : I went poopy

Me : *Facepalms*

Kaiyen : So since you didnt come here for one of my slighlty used cell ships what are you here for

Me : were looking for romulan refugees

Kaiyen : REALLY?! you can have them all just get THAT woman off this helix

Me : woman?

Satra : himynameissatraandimaromulanrefugeeandivebeenhereawhiledoingmedicalstuff

*Clicks off sound to viewscreen*

Me: :eek: By the elements she justs keeps talking and talking and talking

Kaiyen: Now you see you can have the refugees just take her with you BY ALL THAT HOLY AND GOOD TAKE HER WITH YOU!!!

Me: Ok ok but dont you want me to do some redundant task for no reason at all?

Kaiyen: Nope just take her with you

*Beams over refugess and puts satra in a soundproof room*

A Tal shiar mogai appears

Tal shiar #2 : surrender and (Looks at my ship) wth is THAT!!! (Starts laughing)

Me : are you here to fight or insult my ship

TS #2 : that ship IS an insult (Makes a troll face)

Me :

TS #2 : yeah you need to be embarassed flying a heap like that im embarassed just being in the same sector as you

Me: Tovan go get satra....and some ear plugs

*Tovan comes back with satra and earplugs she is still talking so you plop her into a chair and point her at the viewscreen*

TS#2 : wth? please turn it off for the love of all things good THERE HAS TO BE AN OFF SWITCH TO HER!!!

Satra: wellanywaystherewasthisonetimewheniwenttothemallbackonthehelixandtheythrewmeoutsaiditalktomuch

TS#2: MAKE IT STOOOOOOP!!!

*A few minutes later TS#2s eyes melt from her skull and her head explodes as does the rest of her crew*

Me: OK TOVAN PUT A SOCK IN HER MOUTH AND THROW HER BACK IN THE SOUND PROOFED ROOM!!!

Tovan : CHICKEN GO CLUCK CLUCK COW GO MOO!!!

*Satra is returned to her room and a silence now fills the ship*

Me : well i think we better leave

Tovan : kaiyen said bye bye

*Exits the helix and answers hail from temer and returning to the flotilla*

Temer : hey good job well done guys finding those refugees

Me : yeah but there is this one girl who.

Temer : Oh yeah id like to introduce you to the newest flotilla team member and now science officer of your crew.

*Satra walks in and starts talking*

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!:eek:

*runs out of the room screaming and pulling my hair out*

And so we leave our hero being driven into madness and all he ever wanted to do was get drunk on romulan ale.

daan2006

this reminds me of good old kirkfat review of missions

messahla

daan2006 wrote: »

this reminds me of good old kirkfat review of missions

I havent seen those yet but i do hope everyones enjoying

daan2006

well I cant speak for my other romulan bothers and sisters but I am

messahla

Prelude....didnt honda make one?


Meanwhile back on the deathstar...(whoops wrong universe)

We catch up with our hero ( That devilishly handsome romulan ME ) as he is sent on a mission to crateris which is odd because he didnt relise he needed a dermatologist.
But the real reason beknownst to me but not you because i havent said it yet and im making you wait just so the suspense will kill you and make you want to read more.
Is becuase D'tan after hearing pauley shore wasnt at the helix fell into a deep depression and now i must go to crateris to get the only known copy of a pauley shore movie known to be left in existance and now im being sent to the crateris blockbuster to rent the only known copy.

Act III : Dinner and a reman

My ship enters crateris sector is hailed by the remans who are being attack

*Answers hail *

Reman # 1 : WE NEED HELP!!! (looks at my ship) from someone else

Me: Well were actually here to rent a movie from the crateris blockbuster

Reman #1 : Which movie

Me: Idk the name but it stars pauley shore

Reman #1 : Your to late some bald guy with one eye already rented it

Me : I didnt know popeye even liked pauley shore

Reman #1 : Not popeye i think his name was Hakeeve

Me : Bless you

Reman #1 : No thats his name...i think

Me: Well can i still go check ?

reman #1 : yeah as soon as this fighting is over

Me : Ok were gonna help you

Reman #1 : No by the looks of your ship your the one needing help

Cpt Khiy : (Looks at my ship and facepalms) so this is the best the republic can send?.....you just stay there and then when its over beam down and find Z'den he will help you with your movie rental needs.

*After watching the battle i finally beam down to crateris...unfortuanley tovan tags along*

Me : Now wheres that blockbuster

Tovan : I make finger paint faces

*Looks over at tovan *

Me: TOVAN!! satra please put tovans diaper back on and keep an eye on him next time

Satra : *Nods because she has a ball gag in her mouth to shut her up*

*walks over to where Z'den the manager of the crateris blockbuster is being questioned by 2 tal shiar*

Tal shiar Centurion : What do you mean you already rented big top pee wee

Z'Den : Like i said some strange bald guy with one eye came and rented that and an old pauly shore movie.

TS Cntr: I dont care if popeye rented pauley shore iim looking for big top pee wee you MUST have another copy.

Z'Den : Im sorry but that was the only copy of big top pee wee i had

* I attack the 2 tal shiar and run up thinking i just saved the day*

Z'Den : HEY!!! wtf stranger

Me: Your safe cpt khiy said you could help us

Z'Den : SAFE?!! you just killed the only two people who still watch pee wee herman movies :mad:

Me : Well uh ( I once had an awckward momment just so i could see what it felt like)

Z'Den : Well spit it out man

Me: Well the tal shiar is about to invade carteris?

Z'Den : Well idk about that but since cpt khiy sent you common into the store and i will see how i can help and i can introduce you to my pretty young daughter.

*Of course im starting to get those strange captain kirk thoughts about beautiful young green women so i slick back my hair and*

Z'Den : T his is my young pretty daughter veril

Me : Hi my name is .. JESUS CHRIST!!!!

*Falls down on ground those thoughts are now gone*

Veril : Hello jesus christ my name is veril

Me : My name isnt jesus christ but my name isnt important right now what is that i need to find a movie with pauly shore in it.

Veril : let me go look in the back and see if i got a copy

Me : ( whispers to satra ) My god satra did you see here face? it was horrible...nothing worse then reman acne.

Z'den : So what you think she is quite a dish aint she? huh? huh?

Me : Uh yeah really uhm well you see satra is my wife so uhm yeah im kinda spoken for

*I know im going to regret this later for some odd reason*

Veril : Your in luck here is the pauley shore movie "In the army now"

Me : Thank the elements cause if D'tan doesnt stop whining about not finding pauley shore at the helix the whole fleet is going to go crazy.

Z'Den : well the VCR here is busted but there is another one just past those 2 shuttles you can test it if you want.

Me: ok sounds groovy

Veril : I will show you where it is

Me: lead the way

*the group walks over to the other VCR kiosk where it to is broken standing next to it is slamek who hides a wrench behind his back though no one sees him do it but me but im not telling im just the narrator*

Veril : SLAMEK!! you alive

Slamek : Well duh what else would i be

Veril : Is the VCR broken here to ?

Slamek : Nope its just smoking and burning because thats how its made

Veril : Really?...must be a new model then

Slamek : *Facepalms*

Me : well maybe if i used my tricorder and some duct tape and some old chewing gum maybe that would fix it

Slamek : Doubt it because its pretty frakked up

Me: Yeah sure like you know everything about VCRs

Veril : yes slamek is the unverses last and only VCR expert he can even set the clock on it

Me : :eek: Damn he IS and expert....im sorry to have doubted you sir

Slamek : Thats alright you cant help it your an idiot

Tovan : LOOK UP!!!

*everyone looks up at a star filled night sky for a few minutes in awe*

Group : AWEEEEEEE!!!

Me: What are we looking for tovan?

Tovan : I make finger paint faces again

Me : TOVAN!!!!! damnit satra get tovans diaper back on didnt i tell you to keep an eye on him?

Satra : *Nods *

Veril : What is wrong with that tovan guy?

Me : well how can i say this our colony got destroyed by the tal shiar which interupted my drinking session. people were screaming 2 shuttles got destroyed and i got saddled with a first officer whos happened to be the village idiot.

Veril : Ouch!!

Me : yeah it has been a harsh few days

Veril : No not that a mosquito bit me

Me : Well lets get back to your father before anything else happens

Veril : Your ok what else could go wrong

*About that time a strange backward speaking ship descends into the atmosphere*

Me: You just had to say that didnt you

Veril : i think its time to leave

Me : yep

Slamek : sheesh you two dont you think you need a room?

*The group makes it back to z'den*

Z'den : i really hope these guys arent looking for a pauley shore movie or pee wee herman

Veril : FATHER!! were being invaded by the tal shiar

Z'den : damnit i knew there would be problems if sela didnt get her pee wee herman fix those 2 guys you killed were renting for her they always do that every week.

Me: My bad

Z'Den : well we better leave veril go to their ship you will be safer there

Veril : But i wanna go with youuuuuu

Z'Den : no buts about it

Veril : But i dont wanna and you cant make me i will stand right here and hold my (She is abruptly teleported to my ship)

Z'den : she can be a bit of a brat at times

Me: is all good man np she cant be worse then my crew members

Z'Den : Common slamek lets leave

Slamek : why when it was getting soooo nice here i mean with the invasion and people being abducted such a nice time to be on ( He is abruptly teleported to the shuttle)

Z'Den : Im glad i had that sight to sight teleporter installed slamek can be such a drama queen at times

*Z'den gets to the shuttle and lifts off i teleport back to my ship*

Me : Z'den come in status report

Z'den : why didnt you tell me you ship was a flying pile of shi(he is interupted)

Slamek : Looks like the viewscreen needs adjusting

Z'den : Slamek NO IT DOESNT NEED ADJUs.....*Static*

Cpt Khiy : same as last time just let us do the fighting you just fight to keep your ship from falling apart ok

Me: Roger willco cpt khiy

*after the battle is over *

Me : Z'den come in

Veril : They are not responding they mustve been abducted or something

Tovan : me make finger paints again

Me : TOVAN!!!! can someone PLEASE put his diaper back on and put him in his playpen?

Veril : Im coming with you and no one can tell me different....how else am i going to get you to return those VHS tapes :P

*I return to the fleet where i am greated by commander nadel who snatches the tapes from my hands runs down the hall and puts a tape in the VCR a sound like that of a tribble is heard coming from D'Tans room*

Me : is that a ...tribble?

Nadel : No thats D'tan he does that when he is really happy

Me : ohhhhkay?

Nadel : temer could not be here since it is tuesday taco night at taco bell and he needs a laxitive

Me: Nadel that was to much information

Nadel : he told me to tell you good work and that you cannot have new ship

Me : yeah yeah i know because the devs said so

Nadel : Good i see your adjusting to the romulan republic nicley now then theres orders to be taken and customers are waiting at the drive through...hop to it.

Me : yes ma'am

We now leave our hero even more confused then before still wondering where in the universe is pauly shore and why is pee wee herma such a big deal to the tal shiar.

THESE AND OTHER QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED!!

Same batplace

Same battime

Same batchannel

Nanananananananana BATROMULAAAAAAN!!!!

messahla

Prelude.....or the thing that comes before the other thing but never before that other thing but just infornt of this other thing ive already mentioned.

Meanwhile back in the batcave

We catch up with our reluctant hero (The guy who is more handsome and dashing then Q and as always sooo modest) at the RR drive through window where he is serving customer 238 in a queue of 1999 damn this server queue for the mcdonalds drive through is backed up.
As our hero is about to hand over the quarter pounder with cheese a large fries and a coke to a customer the intercom crackles to life and temer summons the gang to his office.

Act IV : Is that lobot?....i want an autograph

*The rust bucket gang enters temers office*

Temer : Hey gang i got a new mystery for you to solve at gasko station theres rumor of a one eyed bald headed ghost there.

Me : Uhm theres no such things as ghosts

Temer : this ghost seems to be terrorizing the inhabitants of gasko station

me : uhm temer there is no such things as ghost

Temer : And its spooky and scary and im frightened and if i see a ghost ever im going to jump on my desk and scream like a little girl

Me : *Facepalms*

*The cannobal run theme starts playing i turn just as D'tan and tovan go zooming by the door in a shopping cart from the flotilla mall*

D'Tan & Tovan : WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Me : WTH!! was THAT!!!

*Nadel runs up out of breath after trying to catch d'tan and tovan*

Nadel : D'Tan and Tovan watched cannonball run earlier now they think they are IN the cannonbal run and racing around the flotill in a motorised shopping cart

s'cooby D'oo : Ruh roh rime rared

Me : :eek: a talking dog?...satra , veril did you just hear this dog talking?

Veril : really like a dog can talk anyways i was ignoring you because this high speed shopping cart chase on FNN flotilla news network is more interesting....looks like one isnt wearing any pants and is drawing grafitti in brown finger paints..

Me : Oh no it cant be *Looks at the screen* TOVAN!!!!

*After some time and a tense standoff thats resolved when tovan is coaxed out of the shopping cart with a popcicle the gang sets off for gasko station*

(While flying through space towards gasko station the ghostbusters theme can be heard)


*WE arrive at gasko station idk but just coming here gave me the gasko blues....and the crew wouldnt even let me sing it and im just as good of a singer as william shatner damnit*

*Answers hail *

Station cpt : Welcome to the grooviest hippest refugee camp this side of the hobus supernova site the lovely and wonderfull gasko station.

Me : uhm well yeah you see were here because we were told there was a ...ghost?

S'coooby D'oo : A RHOST?!!

Me : no a ghost.....(damnit im talking to a talking dog i need professional help)

station cpt : Oh THAT yeah some people think the stations haunted or something they keep going on and on about a bald headed cyclops thats abducting people pfft as if

Me : well you mind if we look around and check for anything strange?

Station cpt : Uh well you see were kinda of

Me : Great were beaming aboard now

*We all beam over to gasko station*

Station cpt : well uhm since your already here im gonna send a guide with you so you wont get lost this is tobol

Me : :eek:.....its LOBOT!!!!! can i have your autograph? you were great back on cloud city in star wars

Tobol : Im not lobot

Me : hey gang look its lobot get a picture of us (Put arm around tobols shoulder posing)

Tobol : Sir i am not lobot

Me : i cant believe i actually met lobot

Tobol : This way sir and company

Me : Oh hey lobot is there someone named rinna khev here?

Tobol : for the last time my name isnt (looks at me and rollseyes) nvm and no theres no one here by that name

Me : damnit (I thought for sure she would be here so we i can ditch tovan)

* we go around asking refugees about the one eyed ghost and looking for clues and bribing tovan and s'cooby with s'cooby snacks finally reaching engineering section*

Me : so lobot what arent you like cyberneticly contected to cloud city

Tobol : Sir i am not lobot just a cheap reverse engineered copy the cryptic devs put in here as an easter egg

Me : Funny i didnt know it was easter gee you sure are well informed lobot

Tobol : sir im not lobot for the last time i am not otr have never been lobot EVER!!

Me : Ok lobot w/e you say

Lahss : excuse me my brother hiven was thrown in jail for saying that its not a ghost of a cyclops but a ferengi in a gorilla suit abductin people from gasko station.

Me : is that true lobot

Tobol : GAH!!!! YES!!!

Me : really his brothers in jail for that?

Tobol : NO damnit i am lobot this is just a part time gig common its been over 30 years since my last acting job and a man has to eat so BITE ME!!!

Me: Wow you dont have to get so uptight about it

Tobol : *Facepalms*

Me : well is he in jail?

Tobol : yes but he was intoxicated on romulan ale and was ranting about a one eyed man and a ferengi in a gorilla suit abducting people but the real reason is he didnt have no clothes on and was arrested for indecent exposure.

Me : Yeah that makes sense romulan ale has strange effects on people.....btw tobol you got anymore ale here im a little ...parched

Tobol : Thats lobot and ARGHHHHH!!!!

Me : Umad bro? *Makes troll face*

Tobol : come on were almost to the station commaders office

*we all go down another turbolift and wind up at the commander office *

Station commander : welcome to gasko station did you by chance visit the gift shop? were having a sale on "Gasko station gave me the blues" T-Shirts...one size fits all

Me : no i havent gotten the chance anyways i came here with an offer about your ghost problem

Station commander : i got a counter offer let me make a call

Me : Who ya gonna call

Everyone in the room : GHOSTBUSTERS!!!

*The back viewscreen pops on and a strange but familiar bald guy with one eye appears*

Hakeev : Hello....my friend

Tovan : ooooh goody popeye is on TV can i watch it huh huh huh

Hakeev : my name isnt popeye

Me : Oh hey long time no see achoo

Hakeev : GAH!! its hakeev

Everyone in the room : BLESS YOU!!

Hakeev : BAH!! take care of them commander

*The viewscreen shuts off*

Station commander : well you heard the man we have to take care of you

*a few minutes later the gang is at the stations sauna getting pampered with food wine and song....but still go damn romulan ale*

Me : remind me when we see achoo again to thank him for this little vacation

* a very large and disgruntled romulan bursts in the room*

Hiven : well since you guys didnt bust me out of the hooskow like you were supposed to i let myself out and caught the ghost.

S'cooby D'oo : RAH RHOST?!

Me : but...this isnt really a ghost its actually *pulls off rubber mask*

Everybody : DON KNOTTS?!!

Me : Nope its not don knotts its actually

Everybody : Grounds keeper willie?!

Me : nope not grounds keeper willie its actually

Everybody : peter griffen

Me : Nope not peter griffen its actually

Everybody : S'cooby D'oo ?

Me : yes s'cooby

Veril : But what about the s'cooby thats been following us this entire post

*The dog pulls of his head to reveal temer was wearing a dog costume:

temer : that was just me i have a thing for pretending to be a dog so i put this costume on sometimes . anyways good job gang unmasking s'cooby d'oo and getting popeye to give us all lifetime memberships to the gasko station spa.

Me: Can get a new ship now temer huh huh huh?

Temer : Nope

Me: Now im sad im gonna make a sad face

*We leave our hero now saddened because he didnt get a new ship but most of all he stil hasnt found any romulan ale what other secrets will he uncover as he and his crew explore the stars*

Tune in next time where you will here tovan say : I made finger painting smiley faces

Me : TOVAN!!!!

messahla

Prelude ...because saying bird droppings wouldnt sound right

We catch up with our hero ( the ever so handsome and so modest guy) as he is attending a meeting to find a new home for the romulan people.
But its decided it can wait theres even more pressing matters to focus on.....the search for pauley shore.
After the helix and and getting the video for D'Tan from the crateris blockbuster d'tan became convinced that somewhere in the tau dewa sector block he would find his hero pauly shore.
Meanwhile temer decided why not kill two birds with one stone and fails because his slingshot coulf only hold one stone.
so our intrepid adventurers set off to locate pauly shore and that other thing something about a new home? or was it a new back scratcher.

Act V : New Bugulus

*reaching galorndan core*

Me : (looking at a girl bent over checking her backside out she turns around) :eek: MY EYES!!!!

Veril : ah HA you were checking me out werent you

Me : no no i wasnt i uh was cutting onions ok (man where are the barf bags when you need them)

Hiven : hey homey we like just rolled up in this hood called galorndan core we gonna be busting some caps on these fools here?

Veril : wth is he talking about

*whispers to veril *

Me : He thinks he is a romulan gangsta

Veril : oookay?.....more like romulan idiot

Me : well we better launch a probe here satra prep a class 1 probe for launch

*checks out satra bending over *

Me : (Hmm not bad at all i wouldnt mind sending my class 1 probe there)

Satra : craph frone phrobe raunshed

Veril : I cant understand what she is saying with that gag in her mouth let me take that out annd...

Everyone : NOOOO VERIL STOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!

Satra : thankyousomuchforemovingthegagyou knowtherwasthistimethisguywellheputagaginmymouthsaidiwastalkingtomuchandhehadaheadachebutithinkhewasjusttired

Veril :ARGHHHHH!!!! OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE WHERES THE GAG FOR THE LOVE OF AL THINGS HOLY

*hiven puts the gag back in her mouth*

Me : Now you know why she has the gag .....someone get the emergency migraine medicine

Veril : i just thought it was some strange fetish she had

Hiven : we be at the next hood homey there be some nausican gansta up in dis hood ya wanna drop in and bust some caps?

Me : nah hiven lets just move on to the next planet d'tan wanted checked out

Tovan : pretty button i push

Me : NO!!

*ship drops out of warp infront of the nausican pirates*

Nausican cpt : You surrender or you die ..(looks at my ship) uhm on second thought you can just leave were looking for people with some valuable to take you apparently do not.

*we leave the system with the sound of nausicans making fun of us as we depart*

Me : set course for the dewa sector

* a few hours later :

Veril : weve arrived at the dewa system

Me: well drop us out of warp and put us into orbit

Veril : yes sir

Tovan : I go pee pee standing up

* look over to see tovan peeing on a EPS conduit with an open panel *

Me : TOVAN STOP!!!

*the EPS conduit explodes sending tovan flying into the far wall*

Me : Someone go get the band aids

Tovan : MOOOOMMMYYYYYY!!!!

Me : your mother is dead

Tovan : :eek: *scream like a little girl and runs off into his room*

*everyone on the bridge gives me the evil eye*

Me : what

Veril : you couldve been a little nicer after all an EPS conduit just blew up in his face

Me : well it wouldnt have if he didnt pee on it and someone was watching him like ive been asking her to this entire damn thread.

Satra: *lowers her head in shame*

Me: just launch some damn probes and scan the planet for lifesigns of pauley shore and if its a habital planet

* after a bit we beam down to the planet*

Tovan : wOOOOww BUNNIES!!!!

*looking over*

Me : well all be damned those do look like rabbits

*all of a sudden the rabbits show their fangs and go berserk*

Me: KILLER RABBITS!!! RUN AWAY RUN AWAY

* we finally escape the killer rabbits *

Me : whew that was a close call who knew rabbits could be soooo vicious

Veril : in reman culture the rabbit is considered the most hideous vicious animal EVER!!!

Me : wOOOOwww i did not know that

veril : Yup its true

*watches as a rather large insect lands on her face i imeadiatly slap her face to kill it*

Veril : WTH!! why you slap me jerlk?

Me : there was this BIG bug on your face

Veril : like this one

*veril slaps me lopside my head then it becomes obvious to everyone were standing in a swarm of these bugs so everyone is slapping the bejesus out of each other*

Meanwhile on a bridge overlooking the scene a tholian commander is watching he quickly walks off

Tholian cmdr : Humanoids are strange creature i just walked by a group who were beatin each other sensless it looked to be some sort of ritual beating.

Thol ensign : I found something look sir

TC : a sword well just take it with us

TE : yes sir but what about our only leaving footsteps and our policies about the environment

TC : Hmm well leave that plastic sword from your kids nausican of tha caribbean pirate set

TE: will do sir

*The tholians leave the plastic sword and beam up just as our crew make it over to the place the tholians were just at*

Me : ugh wth type of place is this first killer rabbits now a crazy swarm of bugs
i hope d'tan doesnt want to make this our home

Veril : look a sword...it looks really ooooowwwwwlllllld

Me : Not really it kinda looks like its made of plastic

Veril : no its ooooold

Hiven : TRIBBLE yeah this thang so old it was the weapon moses used to cross the red sea with

Me : he used a staff ...oh nvm you wont get it

*well after a big debate and some other stuff i forgot to mention because im just a narrator not indiana jones and i dont know jack about history especially romulan or vulcan history since i flunked that class and got expelled from the acadamey which is why i have this crummy job being a narrator you nosey no good piece of *

*the narrator has been brought down for emergency maitenance thank your for reading LoR a romulans journey*

messahla

**Intermission***

Heres some music to listen to while the team at the RR flotilla deliver your food and remember to spae or nueter your tovan khevs


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jB1tskynqE


Have a nice Queue :P

messahla

So heres the thing ive ran out of ideas of what to do next with this thread

My insperation for this was spaceballs i wanted to do a parody of LoR

But keep it in good taste since i love the story of LoR

anyways im all out of ideas for this im up to the missions "Turning Point" but cant think of what to do next.

Ive spent the past couple days thinking it over but came up empty so heres my idea

You guys continue this story everyone who wants to add something can

anyways all are welcome to participate