What's your most stupid review...?

janewaywarrior

I must admit, the feedback I get from some people, is so laughable that I do wonder if I am making missions for chimps. However, I have got some of the most ridiculous mission reviews which make absolutely no sense and just make me laugh my head off.

So I thought, lets here some of yours...

1) "Too little combat" (On a Federation based mission)

2) "There is too much awe and epicness" (Oh sorry, were my missions supposed to be boring and bland... I wish somebody had told me)

and my personal favorite

3) "This mission seems to have everything (spelt "everyhting" lol) but the Kitchen Sink thrown into it. It quickly escalates (spelt "escelates") to the point of unbelievability (Not a word I believe). I guess my advice would be to scale back to a single plot element and build on that...

That has got to be the most laughable comment I have ever had, its not even correct spelt or punctuated... Its so funny how people find things to pick at on purpose.

So care to share some of yours?

skydawnknight

This is the kind of thread that can go from "fun" to "flame" in one post, but I'll share for now as long as this remains on the fun side. Just remember that everyone is entitled to their opinions. Be happy that some of those reviewers actually bothered to say anything at all. Some people like combat over story and vice versa, so defining it in your mission description is important too.

The even more frustrating bad reviews are the ones that hit you for one-star and anonymously leave. You're left guessing if they even bothered to play your mission at all.

For the ones that did leave a comment, I think my 1 star winners were both on the same mission, and would have to be a tie between:

I got a one star for my entire mission because my ESD map was "misty", ignoring that the station was under attack and on fire. I guess the fires all over the place didn't bother him/her though, just the fact that fire creates smoke....

Someone wrote "couldn't access part of the station, so couldn't find <quest objective>". I should point out, the rest of the station was blocked so that the only path you can take... leads directly to the quest objective. Even if you were too lazy to look, all you have to do is look for the big glowing circle on your map... or hit V.. or... you get the idea...

There's a post by Drogyn1701 on StarbaseUGC.com that I found to be extremely good advice regarding bad reviews. You can find it here.

P.S. to the OP
Just to point something out, (pulled from the "Collins English Dictionary" website): Unbelievability

captpfdennis

I have had plenty of 1 Star reviews that were rude and insulting, obviously written by folks who just don't get what an author can and cannot do. As a reviewer, I've never seen anything bad enough to earn 1 Star. I don't blame an author for bugs beyond his/her control. It is also my fault if I don't read or follow directions. The other side of it can be really wonderful reviews, but can be just as silly. This is one of those.

"What do I think? Really bad. What were you thinking of? Did you create this after drinking a gallon of whiskey? Did you lose your mind completely? Seriously, I loved it, especially the ending. Yay, mate." 5 Stars

djf021

I got a two star rating (I guess I should be glad it was not a one) that said:
"Couldn't do it couldn't find the start point."
Now, I can understand if I didn't explain where to go, but I DID. I clearly said in the description that you start on ESD, in the shipyard, at the large console, etc...in green text and everything! The shipyard on ESD isn't exactly a hidden area, you know?

Anyway, I should give him credit: After I messaged him and very nicely directed him to the right console, he tried it again and gave me five. So there's a tip by the way: if someone negatively rates your mission and you think it's fixable, message them and they might be willing to rerate it.

drogyn1701

djf021 wrote: »

I clearly said in the description that you start on ESD, in the shipyard, at the large console, etc...in green text and everything! The shipyard on ESD isn't exactly a hidden area, you know?

You know, I've seen a lot of authors setting their start points there recently and honestly, the first time it was really hard for me to find. I had no idea there was a console there. I think part of my difficulty is that when I hear shipyard, I still think of the area on the main spacedock map that used to have all the ship vendors and customization guy and whatnot, cause that's where it was for such a long time.

Personally I wouldn't use that console, but that's just me. I also put the start location in 3 places every time. In the mission summary, in the opening dialogue and as the first map title, that way it appears in the objective menu before you start it.

Anyway like the others I've gotten my share of bad reviews. I define "bad" as being of no use to me as an author, such as the "It sucks" variety. Now if I get a negative review from someone who gives me details on what they don't like (so that I might improve it if I choose), I don't consider it a "bad" review.

I wrote a little blog about the subject a few years ago: http://starbaseugc.com/index.php/trailers/essential-viewing/column-repost-what-to-do-about-bad-reviews/

hevach

drogyn1701 wrote: »

You know, I've seen a lot of authors setting their start points there recently and honestly, the first time it was really hard for me to find. I had no idea there was a console there. I think part of my difficulty is that when I hear shipyard, I still think of the area on the main spacedock map that used to have all the ship vendors and customization guy and whatnot, cause that's where it was for such a long time.

Personally I wouldn't use that console, but that's just me. I also put the start location in 3 places every time. In the mission summary, in the opening dialogue and as the first map title, that way it appears in the objective menu before you start it.

Anyway like the others I've gotten my share of bad reviews. I define "bad" as being of no use to me as an author, such as the "It sucks" variety. Now if I get a negative review from someone who gives me details on what they don't like (so that I might improve it if I choose), I don't consider it a "bad" review.

I wrote a little blog about the subject a few years ago: http://starbaseugc.com/index.php/trailers/essential-viewing/column-repost-what-to-do-about-bad-reviews/

I greatly appreciate the bolded part in any mission, and as a rule I knock 1 star off any review for a mission where the start point can be lost after the initial dialog. Unless the mission is just that outstanding.

I'm not the only person who does mission in batches. Browsing the list is tedious and slow, I'll usually pick 2-3 missions, sometimes as many as 6 or 7, and then play them.

If I have to drop your mission and pick it back up again to find out where it started... I'm just saying, the review box is right there.

drogyn1701

There's also a fourth place that I forgot. For the button that pops up when you get to the mission door I always make it something like "Begin: [Mission Name]" so that the player knows they're in the right place.

markhawkman

Most of the reviews for my last challenge mission talk about how the Boffs get stuck and can't figure out how to use the doors on the map.....

Yeah.... nothing I can do about that... and no way am I going to rebuild the starbase on a different map!

@Hevach: you don't have to drop the mission to repeate the initial contact dialog. You can simply rehail without dropping.

diogene0

I had some funny (not stupid, just funny) 1 star review.

Someone told me that my npcs were too aggressive in one of my missions. I made sure that if you choose the most arrogant answers, they would finally be very aggressive with you. I intended it to be part of the fun, so that people who want to troll my diplomatic mission get something special.

I also enjoyed people telling me they couldn't find the starting point, even if it appears in the menu on the right. These ones are good laughs.

Sometimes, I also get something i call "collateral damage one star". I try to make my ground combat somewhat easy (a couple of commanders, lieutenant and a cpt boss), because people aren't good at it, but I choose to make space combat challenging. I don't add frigates, they're boring, so I just add battleships, one at a time. If it's too easy many people get bored. But for some of them it's definitely too difficult and they give up. That's my "collateral damage". I don't like that but I think it's inevitable if I want to entertain the majority of my players.

ajstoner

"your oviously a communist athiest elietist who hates real man play" 1 star

I believe this was because of the grinder "debate" here a few weeks back. At least he had the guts to actually leave a comment.

erei1

-In my first mission, I ask the player to "wait". To do so, there is a clicky which is the side of the map (D'Kora bridge, using invisible object). You can't miss it, the objective is in the middle of the screen, properly labelled "wait". I received a 1 star review from someone who waited 30minutes. I sent him a mail explaining him how to do so etc... Later, he left another 1 star review. He said the mission was laggy.
Yeah, Foundry author are responsible for game lag.

-"Can't find where to start". In the mission description I say "easy access from Earth Spacedock". The game add "Earth Spacedock" on the quick objective on the HUD. In the NPC conversation, I say Earth Spacedock. Sorry, it was really hidden.

Some comments made me smile. I received good rating from them, so it's definitely not bad, but it clearly show the person don't know how the foundry work. My first mission involve the player taking a civilian ship, and crashing.

-You should have let the player fly the ship we crash.
I wish I can.

-You should have disabled orbital strike and security escort.
Yeah, sure...

kirksplat

"The sets are too cramped for my cruiser."

It was a shuttle mission and said so 3x!

"It didn't automatically switch me to my shuttle."

"The moon in the sky is transparent."

"You're gramar suckz! Leard to spelle."

vegeta50024

this is one that was left on my first mission: This did not really interest me.

sollvax

Can anyone beat
"Npc Women all FUGLY "

(the mission was set on an alien planet the people there were not supposed to be glamour models)

diogene0

vegeta50024 wrote: »

this is one that was left on my first mission: This did not really interest me.

This isn't stupid. If you think that someone telling you he doesn't like your story is a fool, then i'd better not play your missions. :P

rogueeenterprise

I've had some real gems in my time.

"Stupid nerd #($% and its temporal time #*&@*%*# %*#&@* all over this #*&$@. I know nothing of Star Trek/wars whatever."

"YOU CANNOT *CAN-NOT* TIME TRAVEL! ITS JUST F*CKING IMPOSSIBLE! TIME DOESN'T EXIST! IT'S AN IDEA CREATED BY MAN TO UNDERSTAND THE DISTANCE BETWEEN A SERIES OF EVENTS! THUS, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO TRAVEL THROUGH! UUUUUUUUUUUUUURRGGGGGGGGGGGG!"

To name a few.

nebfab

skydawnknight wrote: »

I got a one star for my entire mission because my ESD map was "misty", ignoring that the station was under attack and on fire. I guess the fires all over the place didn't bother him/her though, just the fact that fire creates smoke....

I didn't see your mission and don't have much experience and don't know whether it's a general problem or my vidcard/settings thing, but... For me, certain types of mist on a ground map are rendered as opaque gray soup that makes everything beyond a few feet (including mobs, objectives and walls) effectively invisible, thus making combats into unmanageable whack-a-moles and navigation only barely possible.

Which, I admit, is quite realistic as far the situation you describe goes, but very annoying QoL-wise.

crypticarmsman

My most annoying one star comment was from someone who hated the fact I used the [rank] variable in dialogues. -- "I hate being referred to by my rank; you should have just used 'sir'.":eek:

markhawkman

nebfab wrote: »

I didn't see your mission and don't have much experience and don't know whether it's a general problem or my vidcard/settings thing, but... For me, certain types of mist on a ground map are rendered as opaque gray soup that makes everything beyond a few feet (including mobs, objectives and walls) effectively invisible, thus making combats into unmanageable whack-a-moles and navigation only barely possible.

Which, I admit, is quite realistic as far the situation you describe goes, but very annoying QoL-wise.

Yes, you need to adjust your video settings.

drogyn1701

markhawkman wrote: »

Yes, you need to adjust your video settings.

Sometimes that's an option, sometimes not. It might be he has a computer at the bottom of the specs and it won't run the higher settings. I know I have to run at reduced graphics on my laptop.

Funny thing though one time while building I encountered something, I believe one of the space backdrops, that had a really cool effect at medium graphics settings, but just turned the screen completely white at high settings.

markhawkman

drogyn1701 wrote: »

Sometimes that's an option, sometimes not. It might be he has a computer at the bottom of the specs and it won't run the higher settings. I know I have to run at reduced graphics on my laptop.

Funny thing though one time while building I encountered something, I believe one of the space backdrops, that had a really cool effect at medium graphics settings, but just turned the screen completely white at high settings.

Yeah, I've had to tinker with the settings on my computer a lot to get them to work right.

chicochavez

Doo doo




That was it...that was the ENTIRE comment from a 1 star, go look in the reviews for Allegiance Part 3 if you don't believe me.

Related question: I've had one star reviews pop up back at the top of the review stack every so often. When someone replays a mission but doesn't change the feedback does it still get moved to the top of the list?

syberghost

3-stars with "meh".

Told me absolutely nothing whatsoever about what he thought I could have done better; just that evidently I either did half of it exactly right and half exactly wrong, or all of it half right, or some combination thereof.

I could almost have understood 1 star with "meh", which would have told me "I'm looking for something to farm rewards", but 3? Meh.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

nagorak

I know I've had some really humorous reviews, but the dumbest one that comes currently to mind is where the person left a review for what was obviously a totally different mission. They complained about beaming down to a planet in a mission that was all space, and their other complaints were for a plot completely different from the one in my mission.

doffingcomrade

syberghost wrote: »

I could almost have understood 1 star with "meh", which would have told me "I'm looking for something to farm rewards", but 3? Meh.

I would say that a 3-star meh would be an honest reflection of "meh". That he found nothing particularly exceptional for better or worse, and thus gave it a thoroughly average rating.

And somehow felt obligated to say something, rather than just rating without comment.