Fanfiction on a Whip: The Tale of Konari Raiden!

Konariraiden - Heavens Tear

Mk, so...as part of a special contest on the Heaven's Tear forums for fanfiction writers, I put together this little tale as my entry, and wanted to share it with the rest of you Perfect Worlders. Hope you enjoy the read, and realize that there's more to me than being a little bit of a Forum Troll...I really do have a softer spot in me.

b:cute

Konari Raiden no Shi Souwa! (Roughly: "Four Episodes of Konari Raiden!")

Souwa Ichi: Konari Raiden no Gesen! (Episode One: Humble Birth of Konari Raiden!)

Not since the time of Pan Gu's Great Cleansing had there existed a being of true enlightenment, of true knowledge and understanding of the world. Of pure kindness and devotion, chivalry and honor, dedicated to spreading their learnings to any and all willing to listen to them. Not since the Age of Spirits has there been one that could truly be called...pure.

In the small village of Sanctuary, however...another was to come.

A small crowd was gathering around the humble home of Tenshi Raiden, a young woman of twenty-two, pregnant with her first child. Normally, a childbirth in Sanctuary was a cause for celebration...but this was much different. The Elder of Sanctuary, Yuan, foresaw that the child that Tenshi would bear would be one capable of achieving true enlightenment. Not just a Master of the Void or Myriad, no...he would be able to comprehend both...a feat not heard of outside of Duke Blacke's tales of the Legends of the Age of Spirits. A quiet murmur slowly waved through the gathering of villagers, each trying to get a peek at the child's first moments of life. The pangs of Tenshi's childbirth grew stronger and stronger with each passing minute, and as the pain mounted higher and higher, nature appeared to do the same, clouds gathering and growing darker and darker over the peaceful village of Sanctuary. Finally, as Tenshi pushed her last push, a peal of thunder raged overhead, and a single lightning bolt struck the canal of the village with such beautiful yet powerful vigor, it was as if the child was to be born out of Nature herself.

The skies then grew clear with an almost unnatural speed, and the evening moon reappeared, glowing a pure white...some say that the moon could not have been brighter than on that night, and never will be again.

The villagers gasped in awe as the newborn emerged into their world and took its first breaths of the fresh Sanctuary air. The were completely stunned by the infant's appearance.

"Look at his hair!" remarked one villager. "It looks so soft and black, like the evening sky!"

"Look at his eyes!" exclaimed another. "They're such a dark and mature shade of brown, like the fertile earth that surrounds our town!"

"Look at his skin!" yet another townsmen commented. "It's such a pure and light hue, it's as if he was crafted out of the essence of the moon itself!"

"So, what's his name, Tenshi?"

"Yeah, Tenshi! What are you gonna name him?"

Tenshi looked deep into her child's innocent eyes for a few moments, though it seemed like eternities for her. Finally, she opened her mouth and spoke seven simple words.

"...I shall name this boy...Konari Raiden."

Souwa Ni: Konari Raiden no Younen! (Episode Two: Childhood of Konari Raiden!)

Five years had passed since Konari's birth, and the town had decided to send him across the world to learn its various aspects and cultures. He was to spend his childhood in the human town of Etherblade; more exactly, in the nearby Inn of the Eagle. And so it was there that he grew into adolesence, each day learning something new about the society around him, for better or for worse.

"Look alive, kid!" shouted a middle-aged man to a younger, dark-haired child. "These Packs aren't gonna trade themselves!"

The child nodded in response to the man. "Yes, sir, Uncle Jones!" The two of them were surrounded by a crowd of people who were frantically waving around what looked like portable cherubim. It was that time of the year again; Jolly Jones' Spring Pack Giveaway, where he would trade one of his famous Small Packs of Spring for either a Guardian Angel, a precious, protective item in the world, or for 100,000 coins. Of course, as the Angels were much cheaper to obtain, everyone took the former route. Every day, hordes of Angels would be bought from everywhere imaginable, and traded to Jones by the hundreds, even thousands at times.

Jones and his little helper were happy to oblige to their "customers" demands, and constantly handed out Pack after Pack for Angel after Angel. At the end of the day, they were always cleaned out of Packs, and spent most of the night making more for tomorrow's inevitable rush. It was then that Jones and the young boy had most of their conversations.

"...Uncle Jones?" the child inquired to his guardian.

"Yeah, kid?" Jones responded.

"Why does everyone love your Spring Packs so much?"

Jones drew a deep breath and slowly sighed. "...because they're greedy, kid. Because they're greedy."

"Huh?"

"You see, kid...'greedy' is a word to describe people who constantly want more and more, even if they have what seems like enough."

"Like, how I am with picking flowers? I pick just two every day, one for you and one for me!"

The boy's childish comparison gave Jones a chuckle. "Hehe...yeah, kid...kinda like that. But you see, they want more than just one flower. They want all the flowers in the world. And they want them all to themselves."

The child gasped in horror. "B...but if that's true, then there wouldn't be any flowers left for anyone else!"

"Exactly. But they don't care. Look around you every day. I trade these packs for Guardian Angels. A precious treasure that is supposed to protect you from the horrors and pains of death, and restore your life without penalty. They are the essence of life...and yet every day, countless people just throw them away for the money...the power...and the easy skill experience that my packs can give. Do you hear what I'm sayin', kid...? They're throwing their LIVES away...for material things."

Surprisingly, the young boy nodded in complete understanding. "I understand...and...it's all their fault in the end, right? When they die and have to suffer those pains and penalties...they'll have nobody to blame but themselves...right?"

Jones flashed the kid a smile and gave a hearty laugh. "That's right, kid! That's right...nobody but themselves." He patted the young one on the head and continued to craft more Spring Packs.

A few moments later, the child piped up with another questions. "Hey, Uncle Jones?"

"Yeah, kid?"

"...why do you always call me 'kid'? Is that my name?"

Jones shook his head. "Nah. You have a very special name. And I didn't want to wear it out with repeated use."

The boy tilted his head with curiosity. "...well...what is it?"

Jones set down the last Spring Pack of the night's work and picked up the boy, setting him upon his lap and looking into his innocent brown eyes. He then gave the child a warm smile, slowly opened his mouth, and spoke six simple words.

"Your mother named you...Konari Raiden."


And that's enough for one post! Expect Episodes Three and Four, right after this!

Konariraiden - Heavens Tear

Okie-doke! Here I am again! Now...where exactly were we...?

Souwa San: Konari Raiden no Seijukuki! (Episode Three: Adolescence of Konari Raiden!)

After spending nine years around the city of Etherblade, he was sent to the main hub for those who called themselves the "Untamed", the City of the Lost. There he resided with the city's leader, who was simply called "The Elder". It was there that he learned the ways of the Untamed and their harmony with nature, and how they weren't afraid to live off the land and resort to their natural primal instincts when confronted with danger. It was in the City of the Lost that he achieved his greatest amount of inner peace...but it was also where he found one of the darkest sins.

It was an average afternoon in the City of the Lost. Merchants were peddling their goods, and adventurers were telling tales of their most recent exploits. Around the center of the city, looking upon his city's denizens, was The Elder of Lost City, accompanied by a young man of pubescent age. His hair was spiked behind him, and his skin was a beautiful golden-tan hue, from spending so much time outside. It reminded the Elder of a meal he always loved to reminisce about...Hsiako's Fried Mantou.

All of a sudden, there was a commotion to the south. The adolescent and the Elder looked to their right to see two beasts, one of Panda descent, the other of Tiger descent, hacking away at each other with a barbaric ferocity. Surround the two warriors was a crowd of spectators, who, instead of trying to break up the fight, were actually cheering it on, egging on whoever they wanted to win.

The young teen gasped and spoke to the Elder. "Elder! Those two Untamed are trying to kill each other! We've gotta he--"

But the boy's words were silenced by a single hand gesture from the Elder. "...just watch, Young One," he said in an aging, yet authoritative voice.

The teen swallowed his urge to aid the warriors and just stood there, watching. Eventually, the Panda had gotten the upper hand on the Tiger, slashing away at his abdomen and leaving his body in a crumbled heap of bloodstained fur. The Panda simply sheathed his weapons and walked away, as the crowd of onlookers closed in on the Tiger and began to kick and prod his lifeless body without remorse.

"...do you see what they do, Young One...?" asked the Elder to the boy. "The Panda and the Tiger...two sworn enemy species of the Untamed society...drawn into battle simply by their looks, and their heritage. They hold on too tightly to the past, and refuse to see the unity in the future."

The young teen nodded. "I see, Elder. They believe that by killing one another, their ancestors will be proud of them, and that they will gain more honor and glory with the Heavens...is that right?"

The Elder responded with a firm nod. "Yes. But it is not true. The Heavens judge us all equally, regardless of our heritage, race, or our class. They Heavens will judge you, a Human, just the same as they'd judge one of us. It is your deeds done that matter...and not the false 'honor' that blinds these poor, violent souls. We shall pray for them at tonight's meditation, Young One."

Again, the boy gave an agreeing nod. "Very well, Elder. But may I ask one thing?"

"You may, Young One."

"Why do you insist on calling me Young One? I do have a name, you know."

"I do know...but that name is too sacred and precious to be used in such a common, everyday language. But...if it pleases you, I shall call you by it this one time."

The adolescent bowed thankfully to the Elder. "I humbly ask that you do."

The Elder smiled at the boy and placed his hand-like paws on the boys shoulders, looked into his innocent brown eyes, and gave him a smile. He then slowly opened his mouth, and spoke five simple words.

"Your name is...Konari Raiden."

Souwa Shi: Konari Raiden no Jiritsu! (Episode Four: Independence of Konari Raiden!)

Five more years after the incident at Lost City, Konari was sent off to live with the Winged Elves in the City of the Plume. There he was watched over by the Taoist, Mangmang. Every morning Konari and Mangmang engaged in ritualistic meditation, and every evening they would converse on what they had perceived during their meditation.

"So, my pupil...what have you learned in your meditation today?"

"Well, Master Mangmang, I believe that I perceived a--" Konari's words were cut short by a young girl's crying, coming from behind him. "...excuse me one moment." Konari whirled around and headed toward the source of the crying, a very young Winged Elf girl who had lost her mother in the main marketplace of the city.

Konari gently took the girl's hand and smiled down at her, which seemed to instantly calm her down. He took his other hand and placed it upon the girl's forehead. "Be calm, my child. Mourning and crying should only be done at a loved one's passing...the rest of the world's problems are unworthy of such pure tears of sadness."

The child just blinked and looked up at Konari. "...I don't... *sniffle* ...know what you just said."

Konari just smiled and shook his head. "It's nothing. Nothing. What is your name, child...?"

The girl wiped away the remaining tears from her eyes and gently bowed to Konari. "I'm Sayo."

"Well, a pleasure to meet you, Sayo." He gently took Sayo's hand in his and shook it as a gesture of good faith. "Now, what seems to be the problem, young one?"

She looked up at Konari and began to explain her story. "Well, my mother and I were shopping for groceries today, and she said that, since I was extra-special-good this week and helped out around the house a lot, I could go and get some sweet bread to eat after supper! So, she gave me the money and I ran over to the sweet bread seller and order two pieces of sweet bread, one for me and the other for my mother. But when I began to head back to where I thought my mother was, she wasn't there anymore...I..." She began to sniffle and cry again, but she remembered Konari's words and regained her composure. "...I just want to see my mother again."

Konari smiled brightly and picked up the girl, setting her on his shoulders. "Well, no worries, Sayo! I shall find your mother for you, no matter how long it takes!"

"Yay!" Sayo cheered. "You are a very kind man, mister!"

Konari chuckled modestly. "It's just how I was raised...and what I learned throughout my life." He then set off around the City of the Plume in search for Sayo's mother.

A few hours later, there was still no sign of the young Elf's mother, and they were almost out of places to look. "Hm...you know what, Sayo? I know a man who knows almost EVERYTHING!"

Sayo's eyes opened wide in astonishment. "Really? Everything?"

He nodded and smiled confidently at the girl. "Really! He's a very wise man, and he's actually my teacher! Come on!" Still carrying Sayo on his shoulders, he jogged off towards his mentor, Mangmang, to ask where he should look next.

But to Konari's surprise, waiting right beside Mangmang was a young woman, crying and sobbing with guilt and sorrow. She looked up for just a moment to wipe her tears, when she saw the unmistakable image of her daughter being carried towards her. "SAYO!" she cried out. "Oh, Sayo!" The woman ran over to Konari, who happily handed Sayo over to her mother, who in turn held Sayo as close to her body as possible. "Oh, Sayo, I was so worried...! I thought that you had been lost forever...!"

Sayo hugged her mother just as tightly. "And I thought that YOU had been lost forever...!"

The reunion brought a pleased smile to both Konari's face and Mangmang's, who also gave his pupil a hand gesture of appreciation.

The young woman stood in front of Konari and bowed profusely. "Thank you! Thank you, young man, for bringing my daughter back to me! I thank you with my life!"

Konari just blushed and shook his head sheepishly. He was not used to receiving this sort of praise. "N..Now, now...it's nothing, really...it's just how I was raised to act..."

The woman smiled happily. "Well, whoever raised you sure did an amazing job. Young man...what is your name...?"

It was then that Konari realized something. In his nineteen years of life, not ONCE had he spoken his own name...he was always called by some nickname or another. A broad smile came across his lips as he bowed to the woman, looked into her innocent brown eyes, slowly opened his mouth, and spoke four simple words.

"I am...Konari Raiden."


Whew...! What a tale, eh, folks? Would you believe that it took me only about 20 minutes to brainstorm it, and about two hours to write it? I hope you liked it as much as I did...!

FedTehNoob - Lost City

Nicely done. I look forward to future installments.


PS: (It's a good thing that no Wolf barbs were involved in that fight, or I'd have to deduct points b:chuckle I bet the Tigers won't be so happy though b:laugh)

PSS: (Beautiful...) xD

Konariraiden - Heavens Tear

FedTehNoob - Lost City wrote: »

Nicely done. I look forward to future installments.


PS: (It's a good thing that no Wolf barbs were involved in that fight, or I'd have to deduct points b:chuckle I bet the Tigers won't be so happy though b:laugh)

PSS: (Beautiful...) xD

I'm not sure if I'm gonna continue it right now...I know I can keep on going, timeline-wise, but if you look, the "final words" in every Episode get less and less. Plus, the title was FOUR Episodes of Konari Raiden...but I dunno...maybe, if I feel like it.

As for the Tiger/Panda, those were the two most prominent beasts in Chinese culture, so there they are.

Finally, thank you. xP I'm surprised it turned out the way it did. I wanted it to be entertaining, but also a little philosophical, if you read between the lines (see Chapters Two and Three for best examples). b:laugh See? I can be smart when I want to be!

Myralis - Sanctuary

Konariraiden - Heavens Tear wrote: »

"Exactly. But they don't care. Look around you every day. I trade these packs for Guardian Angels. A precious treasure that is supposed to protect you from the horrors and pains of death, and restore your life without penalty. They are the essence of life...and yet every day, countless people just throw them away for the money...the power...and the easy skill experience that my packs can give. Do you hear what I'm sayin', kid...? They're throwing their LIVES away...for material things."

Im loving how you are being thoughtful and critical in that story too.

Not bad so far but im missing some action You introduced us to the boys/yours past now sooooo hows it going on?
Oh and be careful, you could easily get Konari a kind of uber superhero lol But i dont think that is what best

Konariraiden - Heavens Tear

Myralis - Sanctuary wrote: »

Im loving how you are being thoughtful and critical in that story too.

Not bad so far but im missing some action You introduced us to the boys/yours past now sooooo hows it going on?
Oh and be careful, you could easily get Konari a kind of uber superhero lol But i dont think that is what best

Actually, I made this story for two reasons. One, because I wanna win the HT Fanfiction contest. b:chuckle

Two, I'm the kind of writer who doesn't like a lot of "action" in their stories. I prefer to captivate the mind with clever and inspiring analogies. Like the one that you pointed out. Were the story written in a time where there wasn't a JJ event going on, it might not have made much sense...but seeing as how we are still in the middle of one...hehe, it's a perfect target.

The allegory in Souwa San, with the two beasts hacking at each other is a recollection of a duel I saw in City of the Lost, where two Barbarians were talking a bunch of ****, and the crowd ended up joining in, making fun of the loser when the duel ended.

As for the rest of the story...I don't really know. Again, I DID name this the "Four Episodes of Konari Raiden"...and I'm not a fan of misnomers. Plus, the story is written from my standpoint, and at the moment, Konari is 19 years old...as am I, in actuality. Perhaps when I come across another "enlightening" moment in Perfect World, I'll maybe write a bonus episode or something. Until then...just read and learn from my tales.

b:victory

WickedSwords - Heavens Tear

Well i gotta admit i liked reading your story.
Looking forward to reading some new stuff from you.

Konariraiden - Heavens Tear

WickedSwords - Heavens Tear wrote: »

Well i gotta admit i liked reading your story.
Looking forward to reading some new stuff from you.

Hehe. ^_^

b:cute

Now go back to being the winner of the Last Post Count!

WickedSwords - Heavens Tear

No worries i still have time for reading some of your work and enjoying :P.

Yulk - Heavens Tear

I'll read the rest after i finish work... only read half b:surrender, nicely done!