Any Interest in a no-holds barred, PVP server? + Which events do you like? + Custom pet or mount?

bee11

The following is a Metaphor: Just like calling PvE/Blue-named players "Carebears" is a metaphor. Try to keep that in mind while you read it. Enjoy!


PvP vs. PvE: A Pissing Contest

Before the merger between PvP and PvE servers, there were two styles of play in two different sandboxes.

- PvP Servers, where the players like to pee in their sandbox

- PvE Servers, where the players prefer their sandboxes to be pee-free

Of course, even in the PvE sandboxes there were pissers, but they basically kept to themselves and the pissing they did in general did not get in the faces of those who like the sandbox to remain pee-free. There were some annoying exceptions (griefing in the Cube and SP) but for the most part things were fine. These are big sandboxes.


Then, the two types of sandboxes merged. To appease everyone, the Owners made the new sandboxes pee-free, with special designations for pissing.


At first, this was okay, as everyone figured the pissers from the pee-soaked sandboxes would just join with the existing pissers in the pee-free sandboxes and the new pee-loving community would band together and go pee on each other wherever they liked and again, leave the non-pee loving players alone to enjoy their pee-free section of the sandbox. But alas, this did not last.


After a while, a lot of the pissers kind of liked not having pee on their hands and in their nostrils and down their throats, so they started playing with the non-pissers. They learned to not pee in the sandbox and enjoyed a new experience of pee-free sand and eventually stopped going to the pee-soaked areas of the sandbox altogether.

Of course, this annoyed the pee-lovers, because their once pee-soaked section of the sandbox was drying out. Without a constant stream of pee from pissers, the sand became stiff and chunky, not moist and oozing like it had always been.


"This is not right!" cried the pissers. "We need more pee in the sandbox!"

But the non-pissers and the converted pissers basically just looked away, saying "you have your pee sand, just go play in it."

"You can't even make good sand castles," the pissers yelled. "Sand won't stick together without pee!"

"We don't care," said the players in the pee-free section of the sandbox. "We can make sand dunes and that is good enough for us."

"But you have pails, and shovels, and gloves ... you don't need any of those if you don't have pee!"

"Still don't care. We can wear the gloves for show, and fill the pails just to fill the pails. We don't need to make strong, coherent, pee-mortared sand structures."

"This is no good!" yelled the pissers. "We need more of you to pee in the sandbox!!"


So the pissers took up a petition and demanded that the owners of the sandbox designate ALL of the sandbox to be pee-friendly.

"We need to be able to pee everywhere and on everyone!" they cried, "After all, this is what you intended when you made the sandboxes! We have gloves and pails and awards for nice sand castles! Obviously there needs to be pee!"


And so, the players, both the pee-loving and the pee-adverse, looked to the owners ... and waited.


Because what the owners know, but the pissers cannot seem to grasp, is that there are many other sandboxes. Some like pee; some don't. Some allow it in small areas; some encourage it in vast quantities. People that play in the pee-free sandboxes like them that way. They know their sand castles are not the best, but they don't mind. They see it as a tradeoff: A way of letting those with a pee-fetish to get their kicks while letting those without such a fetish to enjoy the sandbox as well, with only a slight hint of urine occasionally wafting into their nostrils. This is, in fact, what attracted them to this sandbox in the first place. It was pee-free, and that is why they came to play in it.

If it becomes a fetid, pee-filled sandbox, with moist urine-soaked sand replacing the once friendly dry sand, some players will return to the pissing play they remember, but many who came to play in this sandbox because it was not a fetid urine pool will not stay. They will hang around for a while, chatting with the friends they have made over the years, but as more and more of their friends leave to find other, dry, pleasant smelling sandboxes, they too will join them in their new friendly environments. And the remaining pee-soaked sand loving players will be even fewer than before.


But they will make some awesome sand castles.



[For some reason when I edited and previewed this the word "Pee Eye Double Es" was not flagged as a bad word, but when I signed off and looked at the post all the pisses were replaced with "****". Pissing and pissers were okay though. Maybe this is a bad word somewhere else in the world? Around here, it's pretty normal. Anyway, I changed them to "pee" to try to placate the censorship. I hope it is still as funny. ]

chary

do you have a **** fetish or something. like seriously, that was gross.​​

orinj

Hi, all. It's been a week since this went up, so I'm going to lock it up. Thanks for all the feedback. We'll look through all the relevant replies. Much obliged.