Sharandar's Defense

xetmk24 · August 2014

Entering on a behalf of my other account that for some reasons can't login to the website.

Sharandar's Defense - NW-DDFUT2JXY - @topwicz

Cult of the Dragon Foundry Contest entry!

Dark Fey are attacking elven encampments all over New Sharandar! Lord Neverember sends his soldiers and adventurers to help! The elves are overrun! And yet Lady Winterwhite – leader of eldarin; is calling you to a meeting in a secluded part of Dark Fey Enclave.
Join an Ancient Warden in the quest to stop a thirty thousand years old threat from rising again!
Fight purple-robed assailants among the branches of the Great Tree of Feywild!
And learn what secret is buried beneath its roots!

English isn't my first language. I apologies for any mistakes.

UPDATES: Changed difficulty. It should be easier now. Still you could bring some potions.
Redesigned the final map to make it easier to jump and follow (hopefully)

Some screens:

Have fun.

xetmk24 · August 2014

Fixed a bug preventing completion.
Further improvements and fixes in dialogue.

dtz · August 2014

Well, I have to say, this is definitely one of my favorite Foundry quests. The mapwork was excellent, and the climax was amazing. Even with the spelling and grammar problems - which I'm usually really picky about - I couldn't bring myself to not give it a 5/5 with a 500 AD tip.

Since we've got another week now, I encourage you to find someone with a good grasp of English to play through and help you with the text so it'll be that much better once the contest entries start getting featured.

atiaxi · August 2014

I'll echo what dtz said - this is a solid quest with unique portions I haven't seen anywhere else (the magic swirlies platforming was interesting, even if I did die)

I'll also echo what he said about proofreading. I tried to make note of any typos or strange usage in my notes below, which I took as I was playing:

Cinematic moments are very well done - the appearance of Venne and the confrontation with the dragon immediately after killing the cultists in particular.

Number of times I fell to my death: 2

Why not go directly to Guard Frinko? Talking to the kid first is okay, but I'm basically running around Protector's Enclave for no reason

Guard Frinko: "Lady Winterwhite just spoken with Lord Neverember" should be "Lady Winterwhite has just spoken with Lord Neverember"

"This is your destiny Malli" - My initial reaction was that this was a bug.
The reaction goes something like "Moonweaver? I'm not sure this is addressed to me." Having it start "Malli? Moonweaver?..." would make it clearer that it's intentional.

Redcap bodies: "Not an unusuall sight" -> "Not an unusual sight"

Merrisara Winterwhite:
"Greeting [name]" -> "Greetings [name]"
"when the first elves travelled to Faerun, they encounter the Dragons" -> "encountered the Dragons"
"thinking that he will have an easy victory" -> "he would have an easy victory"
"pierced his black hearth" -> "his black heart"
"it trapped the remains of Nolgaroth beneath it's roots" -> "beneath its roots"
"if not for my warning you would awoken to saw a Drakolich" -> "would have awoken to see a Dracolich"
(me: ) "why sending for one person" -> "why are you sending for one person"
"after thirty thousand years... and that spellplage of yours... it's magic dwindled" -> "and that spellplague of yours... its magic dwindled"
"perhaps Spellplage opened" -> "perhaps the Spellplague opened"

The spot to use the tears on the first Warden Spirit place is not very obvious. I had to climb past the warden, and even then I only knew because my cursor changed.

Spirit wardens say "I will aide you for as long as I can" -> "I will aid you"

A few times you do things that explicitly show the way ahead - at one point a battle makes a wall vanish, and later Venne Moonweaver is standing where I need to go. These are extremely helpful moments - the map is somewhat confusing

I'd reached the 'fourth shrine', but my quest objectives said "purify remaining shrines to open the portal to treetop (3/4)"

Tevan Tel'assar:
"I hoped to personally destroy cursed Moonweaver" -> "destroy the cursed Moonweaver"
"Light of Corellon is trapt" -> "is trapped"
"It will empowered them" -> "It will empower them"

Tevan Tel'assar:
(me: ) "I killed dozens of your cultist to get here!" -> "dozens of your cultists"

The southwest Sharandar's Defense point is hard to get to - very narrow branch leads up there (disregard if this is standard map)

Venne Moonweaver:
The wardens whisper a prayer to Corellon as blue light engulf them -> as blue light engulfs them
The beams of light joins together -> The beams of light join together

Venne Moonweaver's corpse doesn't have any interact text other than "press F to interact"
the general look like she is ready to fight -> the general looks like she is ready to fight

Ilsen:
Bright glow engulfs Venne's spirit -> A bright glow engulfs Venne's spirit
the skeleton stand from the ground and grab a sword -> grabs a sword
"KILL THEM BOTH" -> "KILL THEM ALL" (I do, after all, have a companion here, and some may be in a party)

The objective is "Defeat Ilsen and his cultist" -> "and his cultists"

Venne:
"manifest in his spirit form before he can rebuilt himself" -> "can rebuild himself"
"glide short distance" -> "glide short distances"

Magic swirls are tough - they're hard to see. But it's a very unique feature you don't see in a lot of quests!

Nolgaroth the Necromancer:
"YOU... RODEN" -> "YOU... ROTTEN"
"I WON"T BE DYING ALONE" -> "I WON'T BE DYING ALONE"

Merrisara Winterwhite:
"When we saw that... thing on the sky" -> "thing in the sky"
"the Dark Fey start escaping... we though..." -> "the Dark Fey started escaping... we thought..."
"That is... a wonderful news!" -> "That is... wonderful news!"
(me: ) "The cultist were sure of that" -> "The cultists were sure"
"He's artifacts, weapons" -> "His artifacts, weapons"
"It's a junk" -> "It's junk"
"You to, friend. May the Corellon watch over you" -> "You too, friend. May Corellon watch over you"

xetmk24 · August 2014

Thank you for playing. I'm glad you liked my quest. I apologies again for my english. Sadly I don't have anyone to proofread me and since I already sent my quest to Cryptic (thought that previous date was the final one) I'm not sure if I can resent it.
Thanks for pointing out my mistakes Atiaxi I will fix them as soon as possible.
Thanks again.

orangefiree · August 2014

You can still update it fine while it's submitted.

xetmk24 · September 2014

I fixed the mistakes you pointed out atiaxi. Thanks again.
Sadly it won't make to featuring because I can't sent it to Cryptic so my contest entry will have this mistakes ;/
Oh well...

dtz · September 2014

It doesn't matter when you click Submit to Cryptic, any changes you make before it actually gets featured (which will be at least tomorrow) will be in when it gets featured. So you're good!

zshikara · September 2014

I tried to do this foundry last weekend and I got to the first part up in the tree where I had to talk to a ghost or something (right after the speech with the lead Sharandar lady, through the first portal) and got stuck there. I could find no way down and I couldn't continue. After about 10 mins I gave up. If this was just a glitch I'll try again next weekend, but I figured I should let you know.

xetmk24 · September 2014

Hmm... are you referring to the Tree map? It seems so. It's strange as there should be Venne showing you way up. Is it after purifying the first shrine? Maybe you missed her or perhaps it was earlier build without her.

cookiesaddict · September 2014

Those maps are impressive! I so love custom maps... Also - I am not a native english speaker neither, so typos don't break my experience.

Sharandar's Defense

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