Tomb of the White Dragon

wininoid · July 2014

Hey everyone,

I have a new quest, which is for the current contest. I would like to get it out of For Review and will gladly swap reviews with you. Just review mine and leave your quest short code.

Thanks!

--Winin

NAME: Tomb of the White Dragon
AUTHOR: @winin
SHORT CODE: NW-DL7ULT2QV

DESCRIPTION:
The Arcanists Institute wants to hire you to find their missing associate and help him bring back a bone from a long-dead white dragon. But will you be able to succeed before the Cult of the Dragon learns of the remains?

Find the Arcanist Institute in Protector's Enclave, and hurry. The race is on!

-Estimated 20 min. to complete.
-Designed for a solo adventurer.
-Contains a mix of fighting and dialog.
-Exploring dialog choices may reveal alternate paths to victory.
-Each map includes a (sometimes) hidden book relating to the scene. No reward for finding them, just some extra fun for the explorers out there.
-NOTE: the golden path has troubles in some spots, but the maps aren't that complicated.
-LORE FANS: the story ties into the novel The Crystal Shards, by R.A. Salvatore

bardaaron · July 2014

Ooh, this sounds very interesting. I will definitely want to play through this one. When I post my contest entry (probably today or tomorrow), I would gladly swap reviews!

wininoid · July 2014

Great! I look forward to trying yours.

geoff873 · July 2014

Pretty good quest, no major problems. Enjoyed your map/level designs

Was a bit disappointed that there was a visible face to the cult or some other form of 'end boss'. Killing the cultists just seemed a bit of an anticlimax after the rest of the adventure.

My quest is in my sig if you want to give it a shot.

bardaaron · July 2014

Ok Winin, my quest is up. It's called "The Dragon has 3 Heads...or 5..."
Short code is NW-DENWS4FHZ

I'm about to make a thread for it. As soon as I can (today or tomorrow at the latest) I will play through your quest and give you my thoughts. I'd appreciate it if you'd do the same.

bardaaron · July 2014

I played through your quest tonight, and I left a review in game, but for more complete thoughts, I will provide some input here:

I liked the mystery surrounding Chattington's fate, and the wrench that the barbarians threw into the equation. I enjoyed following their trail to the cave. It might be nice if some more of the clues were "inspect object" objectives that told us something, rather than simply being waypoints for the sparkly path, but I really liked seeing how as we got closer to the cave, the evidence of the barbarians became more significant, and we got to see some of their way of life.

I hope the Shaman can save those barbarians I beat up in the cave. It might be nice if the Apprentice who shows up at the end could mention yea or nay on that.

When talking to Chattington in the Dragon caves, his animation where he points and nods endlessly is kinda weird. Having him do that for two dialog prompts in a row feels like a long time, but that's on the more nit-picky side. The rest of the Dragon caves bit was cool though. I liked the terrain, which was unusual. I've never seen floors like that in a foundry.

Like Geoff, I think I would like if there was something more akin to a "boss" at the end--even if it's just a named villain.

I liked how you framed the end reward as something Chattington found left over from the dragon's treasure, and warns that it might not be usable to you (sure enough, it wasn't!)

I didn't see how this tied into The Crystal Shard, but it's been some years since I read it, so maybe I'm forgetting something really obvious. I do want to replay it again at some point since you mention dialog providing alternate paths. I'd like to see what else I can discover.

wininoid · July 2014

Thanks for the useful suggestions. I've updated the dialogs and changed the barbarian fights to "fight to submission" so it fits the narrative better.

And thanks re: the terrain. I had a lot of fun making it and really wanted some unique set pieces to make it memorable.

I'll add a head cultist doing a chant or spell animation by the phylactery, and after you finish fighting the groups, he'll become active to be killed.

Re the trail to the cave, I mostly left those as simple interacts to ramp up the pacing. That map is pretty slow already. Maybe I'll make them "reach a point" goals instead and give a popup message about the clues.

I think it is useful to remind players that you don't control the rewards, but I don't like to break the 4th wall by talking to players as the author. So I try to make it funny.

These dragon bones are the remains of the white dragon they killed in The Crystal Shard.

eldarth · August 2014

Just finished playing. Very nice. Excellent job on the icy caverns -- left you a private message with a few minor polish points.

I wonder if we're the only ones who chose Ingel....Ingeloak... "Icingdeath." (Ingeloakastimizilian) as the cultists focus.

eldarth · August 2014

....also, when Drizzt and Wulfgar fought Ingeloakastimizilian Wufgar killed the dragon by causing a stalactite to fall on the dragon. You might want to consider adding some form of icy shard detail "impaling" the dragon bones in your cavern.

wininoid · August 2014

I was thinking of that, but since they are melting the bones out of the ice, I figured they would have melted that first before starting the ritual. Did the bonfires and water on the floor make the melting obvious enough?

And thanks for playing and giving feedback. When I read the prompt for the contest, that dragon's remains came to mind immediately. I read a bunch of novels and the Neverwinter source book when I heard about the game coming out, and I always strive to tie my quests into that lore. A lot of people notice it and comment about it in my reviews. Those are the reviews that really make me happy.

boomba66 · August 2014

wininoid wrote: »

I was thinking of that, but since they are melting the bones out of the ice, I figured they would have melted that first before starting the ritual. Did the bonfires and water on the floor make the melting obvious enough?

And thanks for playing and giving feedback. When I read the prompt for the contest, that dragon's remains came to mind immediately. I read a bunch of novels and the Neverwinter source book when I heard about the game coming out, and I always strive to tie my quests into that lore. A lot of people notice it and comment about it in my reviews. Those are the reviews that really make me happy.

Nope you two aren't the only ones! I have it in mine "Icy depths of the Past." And in my many plays saw it another time or two as well. Wish I was near a good computer to try the two of yours, I likely will once I'm back home.

wininoid · August 2014

They'll have to have a sub-category for it.

aldizzle · August 2014

Sorry, I tried the quest but couldn't finish it. I liked the story and the interactions with the merchants but wandered around 10 min trying to find map destination before giving up. Also had to start map over when I clicked wolf mount before talking to barbarian.

wininoid · August 2014

Are you sure that was mine? I didn't have any merchants or wolf mount.

eldarth · August 2014

wininoid wrote: »

Are you sure that was mine? I didn't have any merchants or wolf mount.

Nope sounds like mine.
Kind of hard to believe they couldn't find the map destination with a brightly glowing orb trail on the ground.

myrkolith · August 2014

Lol the running lights were pretty funny actually Eldarth, but it did sort of lay out your choice of which way do you go which was cool.

Also to the author I did play this one as well and it was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed that indoor Cave area you built on the way down to the ritual, plus it's always fun when I get to burn something heh...

I blame the devs, they started it in Blacklake...

Tomb of the White Dragon

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