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Trading reivews for my first two foundry quests
jenazula
Member Posts: 14 Arc User
Yay, finally off probation 
I have a quest "Your First Adventure", and I would greatly appreciate feedback on them.
Thank you @kreatyve for playing them. I have made some changes to them since you played.
These are my first two ever, and as an aspiring foundry author I look forward to your constructive criticism.
I have a quest "Your First Adventure", and I would greatly appreciate feedback on them.
Thank you @kreatyve for playing them. I have made some changes to them since you played.
These are my first two ever, and as an aspiring foundry author I look forward to your constructive criticism.
Post edited by jenazula on
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I, too, am a bit of a foundry newbie and this happens to be my first forum post. I've played both of the quests listed above, and here are my first impressions:
"Morganna's Necklace": I liked it overall, but felt that it could use a little more direction. In other words, I felt as though I was running back and forth or in circles looking for the titular necklace for no story-related reason. Maybe there is a way to fix the sparkly quest path so that I don't find myself backtracking so much? Also, I would have liked to see more dialog elements that help to explain the story.
"My First Adventure": I liked this one especially. However, I was tripped up by a certain *ahem* enemy-infested area. It took me a while to realize that it was a red herring. Some players may get frustrated by trying (and failing) to clear that deadly location. Maybe if you included a more insistent warning (for example: an invisible wall that asks "Are you SURE you want to go this way?" and disappears if the player selects "Yes")? Other than that, I really appreciated your revival of an old D&D adventure. The chickens made me smile.
If you have the time, please consider reviewing my first foundry quest, "Tunnel Fever" (currently in beta, short code: NW-DQ2882NGW). I'd like to know what you think and if you notice anything I could improve. Thanks!
1.) Tunnel Fever: NW-DQ2882NGW
-Mechanically everything worked well, though you might want to make sure you can't go into the sewers before you check out the whole house. Someone may see a clicky and jump the gun.
-The story was fairly simple, although I liked the premise. I would have liked to see it fleshed out so I get more than just find my necklace/thanks. Maybe start with her as a ghost and you are helping her rest. Maybe the inn is being haunted and the innkeeper has you talk to the ghost at the start.
-Be sure to give unique names to all objects that you'll interact with and to NPCs. Otherwise players will see "Press F to interact with battleground_rubble_01"
-I agree about the back and forth on the first map. Try to avoid backtracking.
-There is a campfire floating in the air in the sewer.
-I found the mix of monsters to be distracting. The Tower district is about orcs, so kobolds and wererats seemed out of place. You would need to explain in the story why they are there and not at war with the orcs. And why are there drow at the end? If you want more encounter variety, you can reskin the Drow to look like orcs. But don't just throw them in there without explanation.
-Final chest is also floating.
-For searching 5 places, you can make the story points be in parallel instead of serial. That way the players can pick their own route between them. Gives the player more feeling of control vs. being led around by the golden path.
Keep at it. It is a promising start.
I really like the haunted inn hook. I think I may pull that one down and revamp it a bit.
Thanks so much for the play and feedback!
Also, good idea about the invisible wall. I did want to have that red herring/slaughterfest there, but I wanted to give players enough warning to clear out. I'll try to make that work.
The looong way: If you remake the sewer on a separate map and replace the teleporter with a "detail" object, you can control when it activates via the "Map Transition" section of your foundry's story tab (it will only become active after all the earlier objectives are complete).
The possibly faster and easier way: Make sure that the teleporter is in a separate room and block it with a "false door" object. Then, under the story tab, add an "Unlock Door" objective at the point when you want the player to access the teleporter. For that "Unlock Door" objective, if you select the "false door" you created, it should only become a "real"/open-able door after the player has completed the earlier objectives.
I'm glad you found my invisible wall suggestion helpful, and I agree that the slaughterfest should stay in. After all, a lot of early D&D adventures were memorable because of their "insta-death" scenarios.
1.) Tunnel Fever: NW-DQ2882NGW
I need to go figure out how to make spider woman. That was pretty cool, and the first time I've seen that in the game.
The frequent map changes at the beginning of the quest were a little tedious, just because I am running on a lower, slower system and so I have long loading screens. I think there were like 3 or 4 before the dungeon got started.
Overall, good story, good dialog, no technical issues, very playable. ((I hope I don't get the fever. My character is an elf))
P.S. The multistoried mayor's house was a Cryptic map that I just added decorations to, so I can't take credit for its overall design. Same thing goes for the drider; it was just a preset monster.
1.) Tunnel Fever: NW-DQ2882NGW
1.) Tunnel Fever: NW-DQ2882NGW