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Forums > Home› Neverwinter Discussion › The Foundry› Foundry Quest Database

"The Forgotten Company" NW-DT7OM76K2 Will trade reviews

sarlacc1979sarlacc1979 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Knight of the Feywild Users Posts: 47
edited January 2014 in Foundry Quest Database
My new foundry, "The Forgotten Company" NW-DT7OM76K2, is a combat heavy quest meant for single player daily runs. Please review and I'll gladly trade reviews. Thanks and I hope you enjoy it.
Please try my Foundry campaign, "Olivia's Trials".
Post edited by sarlacc1979 on

Comments

  • casmelakcasmelak Member Posts: 89 Arc User
    edited January 2014
    The Forgotten Company by @sarlac1979
    NW-DT7OM76K2

    ====================================

    Overall: I liked this quest! I went into it without a lot of expectations, and it pleasantly surprised me. The combat was challenging, a bit rough at times, but not so far out there that it wasn't doable. The story was reasoned and flowed well, and was strongly supported by the settings and dialogue. All around a well-done quest. There are a few little things to fix, but a solid 4/5.

    Played, reviewed, and tipped.

    If you get a chance I'd appreciate more feedback on my second quest.

    "A Time for Death" by @casmelak
    Short Code: NW-DDVSHT5TY

    My detailed notes are below. These include some grammatical suggestions and notes about discrepancies I noticed in the settings.

    Olivia:
    Its good to see you again and I've got a job if you're interested?

    Consider: (apostrophe, two sentences, no question mark.)
    It's good to see you again, and, I've got a job. If you're interested.


    SETTING -- Redguard Home

    ++++++++++++++++
    Details
    ++++++++++++++++

    +I like the pieces of armor on the floor next to the armor stand.

    -I don't understand why half of the furniture is shoved into the floor a foot or so.

    -The very first shelf, to the left as you enter, would look better flipped 180 degrees and pushed back to the wall.

    +I think that you've done some clever things with the layout. The two 'bedrooms' in opposite corners are a nice touch.


    ++++++++++++++++
    Dialogue
    ++++++++++++++++

    Laura:

    Consider: Punctuation.

    Ex.
    He survived but was blinded from the ordeal.
    Vs.
    He survived, but was blinded from the ordeal.

    Ex.
    He has nightmares and is easily confused not knowing where he is or who he's talking to.
    Vs.
    He has nightmares and is easily confused; not knowing where he is or who he's talking to.

    Ex.
    The truth is that he was only a common soldier working for whoever would pay him.
    Vs.
    The truth is, that he was only a common soldier working for whoever would pay him.


    SETTING -- Lost Cave

    ++++++++++++++++
    Details
    ++++++++++++++++

    +The three bears! Awesome!

    =That bear just spit poison at me!

    +Like the general feel and detail. Not cluttered, but it's obvious you put some time/thought into it.

    -The 'black ooze corner' object in the first room is floating some. Probably about 1-1.5 feet.

    -The 'cluster of arrows' are a WEE bit out of the ground.

    ==Ooooh, big demon and funny lighting!

    -More clusters of arrows sticking out of the ground here.

    -You might want to give the player a respawn point before throwing big nasties at them.

    +I like the costumes.

    +I really like all the detail touches in the cave tunnels.

    ==I'm sorry Mr. Cultist, were you going to say something before I sent your soul to it's eternal rest?

    ==Hrm....HRMRMRMMMRRRMMMMM
    ===Errtu? MAYBE dial that back a bit. Also, if I remember correctly. Errtu was banished by Drizzt not long before the discovery of Gauntlgrym and the ascendance of Neverember. I think you might have a timeline problem there; unless this is a retcon, which is fine, just thought I'd let you know in case it hadn't come to your attention.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neverwinter_Saga
  • sarlacc1979sarlacc1979 Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Knight of the Feywild Users Posts: 47
    edited January 2014
    @Casmelak, Thank you for the detailed review and comments. I appreciate the effort you put into it, especially since I thought I fixed all the little floating/sinking issues with the arrows, furniture, etc. Yeah, I used Errtu, I know he doesn't like dealing with mortals and he's been banished and there are timeline issues. lol, I've had a few people point that out to me. I look at the Foundry as something to have fun and play around with on par with using characters from Forgotten Realms lore in your home pen and paper D&D game. I look forward to trying your quest tonight, thanks again.
    Please try my Foundry campaign, "Olivia's Trials".
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