The Girl Who Cried "Dragon..." - NW-DJFKEDJCS

gamer91112 · September 2013

The Girl Who Cried "Dragon..." by @gamer91112

Short Code: NW-DJFKEDJCS

Mission Type: Story-Oriented, Dramatic, Combat-Based, Dialogue-Driven

Average Duration: When soloing, this quest can range from about 10 minutes at low level, and up to over 20 minutes at high level, due to the scalings in the mobs' difficulties.

Amount of Combat: The combat starts out very easy at low level, and starts becoming intermediate difficulty the higher your level. Can be done solo, but bring a handful of potions if you're not a healer.

Starts at: Dragonfire Trails, located near the northeastern corner in your world map.

Mission Summary:
The story is about one peasant girl, whose parents were murdered by dragons that held her poor village captive. She holds much grief, anger, and resentment for those dragons who killed them, and dreams of one day being able to stand up to any dragon she comes across straight in the face. As the player, you will be her main bodyguard, showing her signs of hope, strength, and courage, but the biggest thing that the girl has to realize is how to forgive those who wronged her.

In this quest, you'll be battling against hordes of dragons, imps, and a new race of a dragon-human hybrids known as the dragonoids. You and Kria will make your way past the dragons to their fortress, where legions of dragonoids await you. Once you defeat the dragonoids and make your way deep into the lair, a mysterious encounter stands, ready to change Kria's life, forever...

Screenshots:

winterswitch · September 2013

Reviewed and tipped!

Nice twist toward the end. You did a good job making Kria's reactions to the world seem believable. It's a little odd (and unavoidable, I know) hearing deep voices yelling "BURN WITH ME" come from small creatures.

Some minor things to punch up, if you're interested:

--Change the generic "Go to Next Map" transitions to something more descriptive.
--Change the stock "supply crate" name for the chest in the lair.
--In one of Kria's final dialogues (can't remember which, exactly), she says "your welcome" when it should be "you're welcome".
--Think about "dirtying up" the pass between the village and the lair...overhanging dead trees, maybe some lava, a skeleton wedged underneath a rock...anything to show just how bleak the situation is.

adylhere · September 2013

Nice quest with twists. The girl really has anger issues and needs a shrink :P

A few notes:
• I don’t know which encounter is disguised as dragon but their fighting and spells are kinda weird. I think if you use imps they can shoot fire.
• The crate with the weapons for the girl is with its Foundry name.
• “Go to the next map” thing.

Good job.

ephiroll · September 2013

Played and notes PMed.

gamer91112 · September 2013

Thanks a lot for the constructive feedback, guys!!!

This was only my second attempt at making a level in the Foundry so I'm glad to hear that you liked some parts of it.

Of course, I will spend some more time soon working on fixing some of the issues you all had when playing the game. I will take all your suggestions into consideration and will release a new version of the quest soon. Thanks for taking the time to play my level and writing me a review.

gamer91112 · September 2013

Hey, guys! I just released the second version of my Foundry quest and was able to tackle some of the more widely-addressed issues that many of my reviewers talked about. I organized all of my reviews into a giant list of suggestions, and the concerns that many reviewers shared in common the most was listed as the highest priority. I tried my best to fix as much of the important issues as I can, but I wanted to release the second version this weekend, to kind of show you guys, the players, where the quest is at, and to maybe get some more constructive criticism or productive praise as to what areas were successful, and what areas were not. Thanks a lot for those who took their time to give me a review on what areas I could improve upon, and what areas were good in my level. If anyone happens to have the time to play it again, I hope you will find some pretty significant improvements to my newly modified Foundry quest.

Technical Fixes:
- Dragons no longer drop the 'Bloody Dragon Head' item and is no longer required for a quest objective, for it probably took up precious inventory space.
- When escorting Kria during the first portion of this Foundry quest, she can no longer get attacked by monsters, ensuring that players can't use her tactically as a 'human shield'.
- Many "Go to Next Map" transitions have been renamed to become more descriptive.
- I know you're probably celebrating right now, but the Neverwinter supply crate has been renamed to something more original, "Mysterious Treasure Chest"!!
- A handful of typos in the ending dialogue have been fixed.
- The teleporter that was giving you an additional option to 'Interact' with it now has been fixed back into it's working, intended form.

Aesthetic Additions:
Many new props have been added and much of the scenery on the first map has been improved upon to better fit a 'volcanic' theme. Keep reading to see a detailed list of the latest additions to the map.
- I added a couple of dead trees behind the village and made a short, rocky path in the beginning of the trail to the dragons' lair.
- I added some gushing lava near some dragon encounters, I scattered in some rocks and lava crystals along the trails, and successfully added rivers and oceans of lava running beneath your feet, which you can see when standing over the cliffs.
- I added some large, dead, twisted roots protruding from the small, rocky valley near the lair. Along that valley also lies a couple of skeletons and some lava crystals.
- Many areas where there were supposed to be invisible walls are now more realistically blocked by rubble or rocks.

Story Changes (MAJOR SPOILER ALERT):
Not much change in the overall story, but in the final map, when talking with the other villagers, the story specifies that Kria was yelling and crying out to the villagers that it was her, but it was no use, for the only person who could hear her in her dragon form was you. Also some parts of the dialogue have been tweaked to explain the rubble blocking the dragon trail. They were protecting their own village from the dragonoids' attacks and just so happened to have forgotten that you and Kria were still in the lair. Fortunately, there was a portal deep inside the dragon fortress that you used to get back to the village intact.

sapphiraadimarie · September 2013

cool! i definitely find this intriguing!

winterswitch · September 2013

Re-ran to see the changes, and revised my score upwards. A minor bug occurred with the teleporter that takes the player back to the village...it gave the option to "Interact" AND to "Teleport". This is probably fixable, by fiddling with the "Contact" and "Interactable" checkboxes in the Foundry. One other note, it seemed that Kria was using the arm-pumping-cheer animation quite frequently. Maybe mix it up a bit?

I'd appreciate it if you could give "Hive Mind" a run-through. Info is my signature. Thanks!

gamer91112 · September 2013

winterswitch wrote: »

Re-ran to see the changes, and revised my score upwards. A minor bug occurred with the teleporter that takes the player back to the village...it gave the option to "Interact" AND to "Teleport". This is probably fixable, by fiddling with the "Contact" and "Interactable" checkboxes in the Foundry. One other note, it seemed that Kria was using the arm-pumping-cheer animation quite frequently. Maybe mix it up a bit?

I'd appreciate it if you could give "Hive Mind" a run-through. Info is my signature. Thanks!

Thanks for the feedback, Winterswitch. I'll check out your Foundry quest too when I find the time. So far, from the look of the description, it sounds really interesting.

winterswitch · September 2013

Thanks for running "Hive Mind," gamer. I saw your in-game comments, and made a few changes that I think you'd appreciate.

The Girl Who Cried "Dragon..." - NW-DJFKEDJCS

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