A Relaxing Stay - Review trade and feedback

bazgc · September 2013

Hi everyone,

I recently created my first Foundry and I'm looking for some reviews and feedback. Naturally I'll review your missions in turn if you let me know the code.

Campaign: The Tales of Baile Beag (NWS-DSQNGBCFO)
Quest: A Relaxing Stay (NW-DEEYNZYZ9)

Thanks in advance

winterswitch · September 2013

Baz,

I ran about half of your quest. It's quite well-written, but I didn't finish--the spider encounters in the mine are just too brutal, at least at 60.

Here are some suggestions:

--remove (initial entry) from the name of your first map
--I'd recommend that you move the forest surrounding the town right up to the village walls, so it feels more intimate. Add some forest ambience sounds, and "dirty up" the streets of the town with grass, bushes, stone walkways, an overturned cart, etc...
--change the map transition into the Tavern so it reads as something besides "Go to next map"
--the Tavern needs more details to feel alive. Some mugs and plates on the circular tables, some crossed swords, banners, and mounted animals on the walls, a drunk guy lying on the floor. Also, the stools at the bar are just too perfectly aligned. Maybe bunch some up?
--in the Well...show the bucket, rather than just an invisible clicky. Also, how about adding some trash and maybe a random cat? Never know what you'll find down a well...
--in the mine, one of the barrels that I interacted with still had the stock name "Wooden Barrel 01"
--you have quite a few items appear in the player's inventory (crowbar, Magical tool). Make sure these are consumed at some point, fairly soon after the player obtains them. Inventory space is precious.

Good luck! I'd be happy to give it another go in the future.

bazgc · September 2013

Thanks for the feedback winterswitch

winterswitch wrote: »

I ran about half of your quest. It's quite well-written, but I didn't finish--the spider encounters in the mine are just too brutal, at least at 60.

Most of the Spider mobs have now been sent for sensitivity training and are more appreciative of the personal space they should give each other. This means that they are now spaced about a bit more so that things are less intense down there.

winterswitch wrote: »

Here are some suggestions:

--remove (initial entry) from the name of your first map
--change the map transition into the Tavern so it reads as something besides "Go to next map"
--in the mine, one of the barrels that I interacted with still had the stock name "Wooden Barrel 01"
--in the Well...show the bucket, rather than just an invisible clicky.

Done. Apparently one of my teleporters had shifted too so that's been fixed as well

The quest is being republished with the above changes made.

winterswitch wrote: »

--you have quite a few items appear in the player's inventory (crowbar, Magical tool). Make sure these are consumed at some point, fairly soon after the player obtains them. Inventory space is precious.

Think I've worked out a means of doing that but still requiring players to clear things out the way. It's late here though so I'll fix it tomorrow since it involves the logic of when things are visible and not visible and I'm feeling quite tired...

winterswitch wrote: »

Also, how about adding some trash and maybe a random cat? Never know what you'll find down a well...
--I'd recommend that you move the forest surrounding the town right up to the village walls, so it feels more intimate. Add some forest ambience sounds, and "dirty up" the streets of the town with grass, bushes, stone walkways, an overturned cart, etc...
--the Tavern needs more details to feel alive. Some mugs and plates on the circular tables, some crossed swords, banners, and mounted animals on the walls, a drunk guy lying on the floor. Also, the stools at the bar are just too perfectly aligned. Maybe bunch some up?

Will have a fiddle with those bits once I've fixed the functional stuff above related to items.

marakthemauler · September 2013

I liked the story and the exploration through the mines.

A couple of things
-Taigh-Tairn Tavern: Add more details to the cloak room (weapons, cloaks, etc).

- The conversation with the ghost made it seem like you would encounter undead in the mines and find the scepter. May it was there and I did not completely explore the mines.

- Sounds in the well/mines: Unless this is a foundry bug and you had ambient noise/music in the well/mines, there were none. It was too quiet in the mines and the lack of sound detracted from the experience.

Dearg dialogs
- Prior to entering the well: Option 1/2 in the dialog box is obvious by the Quest Choice color.
- After exiting the mines: the sentence " ... with eildear" , capitalize Eildear.

bazgc · September 2013

marakthemauler wrote: »

I liked the story and the exploration through the mines.

A couple of things
-Taigh-Tairn Tavern: Add more details to the cloak room (weapons, cloaks, etc).

- The conversation with the ghost made it seem like you would encounter undead in the mines and find the scepter. May it was there and I did not completely explore the mines.

- Sounds in the well/mines: Unless this is a foundry bug and you had ambient noise/music in the well/mines, there were none. It was too quiet in the mines and the lack of sound detracted from the experience.

Dearg dialogs
- Prior to entering the well: Option 1/2 in the dialog box is obvious by the Quest Choice color.
- After exiting the mines: the sentence " ... with eildear" , capitalize Eildear.

Reworked mission to address all of the above stuff mentioned in other posts and some other stuff on top of that. Should now be published with the updated details

runebane · September 2013

Just ran this. Its a good story driven quest. Would have put more vegetation or something at the starting area. When you get into town it looks good, but where you start out it seems kind of empty at first. Or did to me.

Also it seems to be a bit frontloaded with map transitions. I probably would have build the inn somewhere else on the same map and used a teleporter. More work, and probably to late though. But that kind of stuff does drive some players away.

Overall I thought it was pretty good. You made the characters interesting. And the pace was good. Would appreciate a return review on any of my missions. Campaign is in my signature. A warning though, they are a bit more combat driven than yours.

bazgc · September 2013

Thanks for playing it

runebane wrote: »

Also it seems to be a bit frontloaded with map transitions. I probably would have build the inn somewhere else on the same map and used a teleporter. More work, and probably to late though. But that kind of stuff does drive some players away.

It's the start of a campaign I've planned the first 3 missions of on paper, with an idea for the 4th that I need to flesh out somewhat first. At the moment the tavern will feature more in the later quests so it was easier to make it an area of it's own at this stage.

Overall I thought it was pretty good. You made the characters interesting. And the pace was good. Would appreciate a return review on any of my missions. Campaign is in my signature. A warning though, they are a bit more combat driven than yours.

Now that this mission is (mostly) completed to my satisfaction, playing Foundry missions from the sigs in this thread is the bulk of my to-do list for tomorrow. I'll post in your thread once I've played them.

adylhere · September 2013

I think you should turn off the trail to encourage the exploration. I consider myself “exploration type” but if I don’t see anything interesting in sight I tend to follow the trail so I got the crowbar but not the other tool.

boudiccia · September 2013

I just ran this an hour ago and I have to say it is pretty good. Love the custom town and exploration aspect of the mines. The only thing I could say change is make the village a little less pristine. Add some dirt, higher grass, bushes, cart tracks, and maybe a few stones.

If you are looking to review trade check out:
Claiming the Halfling Quarter NW-DIRTSMWZH

nimzowitch · September 2013

I thought this was a good story driven quest. I noticed a few water plane edges and corners showing at the bottom of the well that could be covered up with some rubble, and I think your town center would look a little better with some stone on the ground rather than grass. Overall, a great job. I really like the idea of rewarding players who choose to explore with an easier encounter path. It is difficult to make non-linear content with the tools available to us.

Please give one of mine a play when you get a chance. They can both be found under the "for review" tab:

Into the Drow Helix - 20 min.

Siren's Cove Castaways - 30 min.

bazgc · September 2013

UPDATE: Quest has now been updated with more visual details in the village, slight shifting of a couple of encounters underground, and other miscellaneous text based stuff.

ulviel · September 2013

Hi, I just played your quest. It is good, however few things could be improved. Just as few people already mentioned in this thread, the village could use some more decor.
About the mine... I like the idea ("optional" is my fav foundry word), but those cobwebs... I understand that where are spiders, there also are cobwebs, but they are obscuring the view! Making fighting harder, thats annoying. Also I dont know if that was a bug, but there are 2 soundtracks playing simultanously - very unpleasant to hear.
still, I think i'll be playing it more

bazgc · September 2013

Yeah, I'll probably bring this quest down for reworking once I get The Silver Sword qualified as a daily. I've learned a lot since this quest was mostly completed before (this is my first one after all!) so I should be able to make a lot of improvements to A Relaxing Stay.

melinden · September 2013

Well it was the best maze in the game so far, I really had to work at it. I sent a PM with more notes, but that about sums up what those notes say.

A Relaxing Stay - Review trade and feedback

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