First Foundry- NW-DLW8SB9CN

sarlacc1979 · August 2013

I just completed my first Foundry quest and I'd really appreciate some feedback before I try making any more.
Its called The Hidden Unseen NW-DLW8SB9CN

meant for single player
mostly combat with some plot to tie everything together.
If anyone wants to trade reviews I'd be happy to.

Hope you enjoy it.

winterswitch · August 2013

Sarlacc, I'll check it out this evening. I'd appreciate your running through the second quest in my signature. Thanks. @Sintered

winterswitch · August 2013

Pretty impressive for a first Foundry. You're a good writer! I enjoy mowing down sewer rats--gives a feeling of power. The Rat Pack was a funny touch; I guess it means I'm old since I got the joke. I have a few suggestions if you're making edits:

--Since the quest takes place in the sewers, consider making the first map transition from Protector's Enclave start at one of the sewer grates in the city. You'll probably also want change the transition text from "Go to next map" to something more specific.
--When Splinter turned hostile, he spawned in the ground so that only the top of his head was visible. I was able to kill him and progress, though. Check his "Y" value.
--In Oliver's opening dialogue, remove the period or the exclamation point at the end of "...best friend in the whole world.!"
--in one of the underground rooms, you've got a seated corpse (wrapped in a bag) that's partially embedded in the wall.
--This one's purely 'cause I like story: Mid-way through, I would have liked an NPC/dropped item/something to give a clue as to why the missing people were hostile toward me. Maybe a corpse that appears zombie rotten when inspected?

aaldaemon · August 2013

I'll trade you a review.

My quest is in my signature.

Going to go play and review yours now.

aaldaemon · August 2013

Played and reviewed it.

Good first effort.

What i liked most about it was the combat flow. Smooth combat experience from start to finish, no annoying encounter stacking etc.

My suggestions are:
-move the respawn point halfway in.
-maybe add some more details to environment here and there.
-maybe change the ranged mobs at end to melee packs. their rdps could be a bit much for some classes/specs. -just a suggestion.

All in all good combat flow, and nice exp run for my latest character in training.

sarlacc1979 · August 2013

Winterswitch, thank you for reviewing my quest, I appreciate your suggestions and I was able to make some corrections. I went to review your quest The Green Zone but I'm stuck at the point where I'm supposed to burn the red flag. I've found the GAZER sign and the 3 yellow crystals but I can't find the flag or what I'm supposed to use the crystals with. I'm not sure if I'm missing something or if something isn't behaving properly. I like the concept and its good so far but I'm just stuck.

sarlacc1979 · August 2013

aaldaemon, thank you for the review and the suggestions. I'll review your quest today.

winterswitch · August 2013

sarlacc1979 wrote: »

I'm stuck at the point where I'm supposed to burn the red flag.

Thanks for checking out The Green Zone. The Red Flag is on top of the pyramid; it spawns after you defeat the Red GOLEM. Good luck!

harbingerdrum · August 2013

Good start. As mentioned above, adding some more to the map will help immersion.

Combat was a good hack and slash. Great job there.

Sent a forum mail with details.

Later - DRUM

lolsorhand · August 2013

I'll give this a run

feuygar · August 2013

Hi,

I enjoyed the quick run through style quest - The Missing Unseen. Fun Rat Pack theme and a challenging final battle.

Generally, where I though you could improve it was to add more details which felt few and far between apart from the last couple of rooms. Add in some creepy mist, lighting and some music during combat to enhance the flavour.

Specifics...not much to add.

Maybe have John & Oliver walk away rather than vanish.
Are you sure Oliver was a boy NPC, looked like a girl to me.
Rename the interactive body bag, currently "Body Bag 02".
Final conversation with John. He didn't really come across as very grateful or overly sad about the refugees fate.

Other than that, it was a blast.

Hopefully you can review mine too. It's different to yours, more story and less frequent combat so your perspective will be interesting.

422 - Yeenoghu's Bride

NW-DUMTEJ9KZ

http://nw-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?411131-Proud-to-present-for-reviews-422-Yeenoghu-s-Bride

sarlacc1979 · August 2013

Feuygar, thank you for the review. I appreciate the notes, especially about "body bag 02" I thought I had fixed that. I've been playing with the final conversation with the guard John and I just can't come up with a satisfactory end to it, so I understand your point. I made this quest specifically as a "quick run" for the foundry daily so I didn't kept the plot at a minimum intentionally. I do enjoy the more story heavy foundry so I'm looking forward to playing yours soon. thanks again.

sarlacc1979 · August 2013

Thank you to everyone who's reviewed my quest, I'm very grateful for the input which has helped me tweak the quest to my satisfaction. I'm pretty much done with that tweaking with the exception of a couple things. I plan on playing a quest from everyone that's reviewed mine sometime this weekend.

adylhere · August 2013

I’m not a fan of hack & slash but this is served well with a good story and creepy settings. I think a unique decoration where the boss fight is would put an accent there.

shadownighthawk1 · August 2013

Hello Sarlacc, thankyou very much for reviewing my foundry! To return the gesture i have just finished running yours and reviewed!

Was a very enjoyable Foundry with great settings and lovely hack and slash action. It was smooth and the detail was great! Look forward to seeing more from yourself! Lastly, whilst running it i took a cheeky screenshot for you :P

http://img823.imageshack.us/img823/1791/mbm8.jpg < Larger version

princey1980 · August 2013

I liked it. Enjoyable hack n' slash. The extra spawns kept surprising me, well done there. I liked the way the pop culture references were done. Just a nod without breaking immersion. It's a wee bit on the short side, though, and could stand a little beefing up. Look into adding difficulty options as well, to give people the choice to have it harder and easier. Just suggestions

I found a couple of bugs. In the C-shaped room, there is a group of archers that spawns on top of the wooden structure. They aren't named R.O.U.S, they just have the default names. In the L-shaped room, the zombies that we spawning in the water would sometimes get stuck on the walkway, depending on where you stand. Minor things.

Well done.

sarlacc1979 · August 2013

Thank you all for the continued comments, I've revised the quest several times and I think that right now its in its "final" form. All your input has been very helpful and I've learned a lot from playing through your quests as well. The quest is a bit short and straight forward but I wanted it to be just a bit more than 15 min for the daily quest. I'm glad everyone has enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to publishing my second quest.

I'd appreciate a few more reviews now that the quest is in its final version and I'd be happy to trade reviews with anyone.

Thanks again!

First Foundry- NW-DLW8SB9CN

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