New mission: "A Debt to be Repaid" (Trading Reviews)

dutchy47 · August 2013

Hiya guys! This is my first foundry here, and as some of you may have heard from me before, i'm a bit of a perfectionist, so I wanted everything to be more or less perfect before release. I think I am at that stage now. I tried to come up with a new idea for a quest and this came out. I have tried to cater for a couple of different styles of play. On the one hand, you have a sheep-load of lore. (I'm serious, there is a lot) So for the people who like to get wrapped up in a story, I (hope I) have provided you with that. Then, for the people who like the combat, most of the lore is optional, except for obviously the parts that drive the story. That goes for grinders as well. As this is my first quest, I am not expecting 10/10's all round

But I think I have done a fairly decent job. If there are any spelling mistakes, bugs, or plot holes, feel free to shoot me through a review so I can fix it for others. I will be Trading reviews for this, but I will be starting this on the 'morrow, as I have spent the last 7 hours on this foundry quest, and am way too tired to trade reviews now. I hope you understand

But, just leave them in the comments, and I will get to them, you can be sure of that.

Anyway, onto the story : --->

You receive a job's board posting from a distressed girl. Her Uncle has not been seen or heard from in over two weeks. The situation is dire, and there may be more to this tale than meets the eye.

Name- A Debt to be Repaid
Lore- Heavy- Very detailed, but skippable
Combat- Mid to Heavy
Short Code- NW-DJCVQOLLQ
Locations- I tried my best to be creative and stick to the lore.

If you notice any improvements to be made in General, shoot me through a comment

Good luck and Have fun.

brazilianbraid · August 2013

I will trade reviews with you. I'll get to your quest soon. You can check either of mine in my signature.
One is about Saint Seiya (if you're a fan of the anime) and the other is based on D&D 4e lore that this game didn't use so far.

crowgate1 · August 2013

Hey, sounds interesting, and will give it a go right now. I'm also a first-time Foundry publisher, so if you can have a go at mine, I would greatly appreciate it:

NW-DGVPL17X5 Thunderhorn

Oh, yeah, the details are in my signature...

antonkyle · August 2013

I will trade with you. I will play it now.

Mine is: Code: NW-DGE5X9T56 (Also searchable under @antonkyle as part two of the Campaign: An Echo of the Forgotten Ballad)

It would be great if you could post any feedback here:

http://nw-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?446931-Quest-An-Orc-Massacre

Cheers,

Edit: Ok! I'm stuck, I've killed everything. The quest is telling me to go back to the house and there is a mark on the map of where I should go. Only there is nothing there. I think the door/portal is probably under me, But I'm not sure.

Other than that, it was good. I would like to see much, much more detail but the story is fine and the combat is very good. There is nothing wrong with spelling that I can see and the grammar seems ok. One mistake I noticed a few times is i'm. It should be I'm.

I'm afraid I can't finish. If you fix this I will play it again.

Edit, Edit: Sorry, thought of one more thing. The letters should be written as letters as in out of character and:

Dear Rhitza..

crowgate1 · August 2013

Hi mate;

I finished killing the boss, but there doesn't appear to be a portal to leave your Underworld realm; the marker on the map indicates there should be a gate here, but it isn't visible, nor can it be interacted with... Neither is there an 'escape' exit on this map, so I seem to be trapped in Hell for all eternity... I suppose the only way to escape is to log out.

Really liked the interactions, plot and lore, though. Maybe a few more details in the environment would be nice, and you have spelled 'received' as 'recieved' throughout the quest (see opening quest dialogues, letter-reading, etc.). Also, maybe also clean up older versions of NPC's in Hell... there are multiple versions of them in the dungeon by the end of the quest. There is a really good quest in here, and I will come back and try it again - and leave a starred review - when I am able to complete it.

Cheers

antonkyle · August 2013

crowgate1 wrote: »

I suppose the only way to escape is to log out.

For future reference there is a door on your mini map that allows you to escape any foundry quest at any time. Just thought I'd mention it. Just in case.

ephiroll · August 2013

dutchy47 wrote: »

You receive a job's board posting from a distressed girl. Her Uncle has not been seen or heard from in over two weeks. The situation is dire, and there may be more to this tale than meets the eye.

Name- A Debt to be Repaid
Lore- Heavy- Very detailed, but skippable
Combat- Mid to Heavy
Short Code- NW-DJCVQOLLQ
Locations- I tried my best to be creative and stick to the lore.

If you notice any improvements to be made in General, shoot me through a comment Good luck and Have fun.

I'll PM you a more intelligent response then there are words for on in game reviews.

I have one I'm looking to have gone over if you'll return. It's been polished and runs good.
Dark Designs
NW-DHQVVMFO4

And anyone else who sees this, I'll review for anyone who reviews mine. You'll basically get three reviews from me. I'll touch on play, story, and tech.

ephiroll · August 2013

Can't finish. The door out looks like it's underground so I can't give a complete review.

Play: The combat was all pretty easy except the boss. I looked through most the lore. It went smooth til I couldn't get to the door out.

Story: The story was extensive, a lot of work went into it.

Tech: Other then the door out not being there, the beginning enemies are spread pretty thin. I actually just ran around the edge of the hill and avoided them all.

Edit: I did finish. Exited the map back to Protector's Enclave and went to do another quest and just happened to run right by Rhitza's house. Was able to go in and complete it since I hadn't abandoned it yet.

crowgate1 · August 2013

Sure I'll play and review Dark Designs for you... If you have the time, take a look at mine! Cheers.

dutchy47 · August 2013

Oh, I am so sorry guys! I did a final bug run and that didn't come up. I will fix it. My bad.

dutchy47 · August 2013

I understand and have fixed the problem. I forgot to set the portal to be on par with the raised floor. It should be fine now.

So sorry for the inconvenience.

dutchy47 · August 2013

And I am starting on trade/review right now.

aaldaemon · August 2013

dutchy47 wrote: »

And I am starting on trade/review right now.

Hellos! I remember being pmed by you and seeing the pm after a long period - I almost never check my pms - then I pmed you back not sure if you got it.

I'll trade you a review (quest is in my signature) - if you already played mine a while ago -not sure if you eventually did or not-, you could if you have time play it on easy (for less combat and faster) and see the things I did - you might not have seen the perception shift in Aeron's room which is a recent addition, and a trick that took me quite a bit to do hehe. (if you saw that I guess there's nothing all that new to see).

I'll go play yours as soon as I finish the current quest I'm doing.

janusthemad · August 2013

I attempted to review your adventure but I wasn't able to finish it. I wasn’t able to progress past the “Halls of Hell” area. When I entered the area, there were no quest indications of where to go, the only 2 NPCs in the area had no dialogue, and there was an invisible wall preventing me from exploring the next area or speaking with the NPC I saw there. I wasn't able to find any other possible ways to escape the area.

Here are my notes from what I was able to see:

-The house is rather bare.
-The last quest objective in Rhitza’s house is “go to the next zone”.
-I like the dialogue in the burning house. Seeing that character transform in such a way was really creative.
-There is an NPC named “Rhitza #2” in the upstairs area of the Halls. I find that to be ... odd?

If you could review my quest in this thread, I'd appreciate it. I'll try to run your adventure again when the bugs are fixed.

aaldaemon · August 2013

I've had same issue as janusthered, and could mirror his comments.

I could not complete the quest.

So far I'd also recommend costumes for some of those enemies - recruit mobs are too generic.

ephiroll · August 2013

@dutchy: I'd starred your quest when I'd finished it the other day. I'd edited that post saying I had because I left with the map door and Rhitza's house was still available because I hadn't abandoned the quest yet. Forgot til I tried too again. It's just not showing my review, I have two on mine that aren't showing up anywhere but in the Foundry.

The problems the last two players had: I myself actually did have the same problems on my play through, I just forgot to mention the other day because I was distracted by the door at the end not working right. To get through that area is a bit tricky, you basically just have to run around until you click on Rhitza out of frustration or because it's the only thing not tried. Then you have to click on her a few times, it's all cool for the storyline, but as pointed out, there aren't any indicators on what to do.

karitr · August 2013

Well I only got as far as the 'Find Rhitza' objective we are given when we arrive in the Halls of Hell. The corridor is blocked by an invisible wall and there is nothing to click on, so perhaps ephiroll was playing an earlier version of this quest...and even though nothing is clickable, I still clicked a lot. Nada.

The beginning of the story was very intriguing. I loved reading the letters from Rhitza's uncle.
Check your spelling of 'receive'. The word is used a lot in the initial conversation and you have the 'e' and the 'i' transposed.
Found the 'read the letters/speak to Rhitza' objective a little clumsy visually.
When we leave the house, have Rhitza and Buck leave with us? Little touches like that make the difference.
Next map, make the arrival point more interesting. As above.
Talking about the book we find in uncle's house; Use 'common' instead of 'English' in the line "...predates English."
Love the amount of fire in the house increasing over time.
As Janus said, 'Rhitza #2' just looks plain odd.
Opening the door into the corridor, we used a pushing animation but the door opens towards us.

I'll keep an eye out and see if that invisible wall comes down, but if the catacombs are your setting for 'Hell' I want to feel I am in hell and not another quest that uses this particular map in the quest.

zerkovaplayer · August 2013

"letters," not "letter's."

First, third, fifth, and last letters? Are the second and fourth somewhere else?

The bark on cue is a nice touch.

If the design intent is to have "lore skippable," have an early exit option from the dialogues for those who don't want it.

Suggestion: When Rhitza appears and becomes dialog-able, instead of having her appear by the house, have her appear behind where the player will be, and use the "one-way patrol" to have her run by you. She doesn't even need to be a quest objective at that point, most players won't rush past her to the door, but you can put an invisible wall in front of the door that disappears on her dialogue prompt.

Tiny house. Giant underground basement?

Invisible wall a little silly there in the basement. Especially since I can't get to the quest area labeled "Find Rhitza." I have found "Rhitza #2," but I can't interact with her, and the quest points to a zone somewhere behind the invisible wall. As with everybody else, I suppose.

New mission: "A Debt to be Repaid" (Trading Reviews)

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