Birth if a Killer nw-dicxch5p2 (could use some reviews and feedback)

fuzsto8 · July 2013

Greetings all Vendreg Chlapton here.

I come before you looking for stout adventurers that would be willing to help an old fella out in saving a young boys life.
Got your attention.... no hmm...

Ok if the boy is not saved in time this could lead to disaster in neverwinter as we know it.

Please lend you your magic, your steel and your nerves and accept this mission NW-DICXCH5P2

If not for the boy do it for the realm. I have seen what he can become, and would rather not see it come to that.

Thank you.
Vendreg of the Void

PS this is my first foundry mission. It is rather short, getting the feel of how its done. My second one(which is much bigger and badder) is in the works but I could really use some feedback or critiques on this one. thanks everyone.
Is now eligible for daily foundry rewards

Thank you all for the help.

Patch Update 1.06 Fixed some side quest problems, and added a little bit of foreshadowing to prep the next installment of the story. Also corrected some minor mis-spellings.

Patch update 1.04: Added a surprise at the goblin encampment (as a side event).

Patch update 1.03: Gave the gnolls a home, along with the goblins.
Added little things here and there like grass and rocks.
Tweaked the sound and music.
Added a little extra for the explorers out there.

Patch update 1.02: Made changes to environment, changed some wording, and added little things here and there. Tweaking sounds and music to fill in areas.

lolsorhand · July 2013

I'll trade reviews with you if you want

, My part 3 is in the signature below, Brethren Campaign. I'll get to your quest asap!

fuzsto8 · July 2013

Kewl thank you very much ill head over and check yours out then.

remorselord · July 2013

I don't get the title of your quest. Are you trying to say Birth of a Killer?

zbkolde · July 2013

If you're not getting the reviews you need yet, you're welcome to give our new out-of-game guild, Scribes' Enclave, a try. We have a few members and reviewers already, and are hoping to get more soon. This forum thread has more information.

lolsorhand · July 2013

First thing I noticed, it tells me to go to the next map from the start, best to edit the text to say for example, "Travel North/east to x" etc.
I would add more details to the path and around it
Some typos here and there, I know some people deduct points from that, I don't.
Wolves are named White Wolf 3, should not have numbers

Some Barricades are floating slightly.

It was fun, but add more details and work on the atmosphere around it. - The story was simple but it's a decent motivation to get the dagger back. It needs work, but I gave you max tip and hope you keep at working on the quest!

fuzsto8 · July 2013

ok yah seems i typed the title wrong it is "birth of a killer".

I will look into the wolves and floating object.

thank you for the tips i will put more thought into part 2 and possibly rework part one.

runebane · July 2013

Just ran and rated this. Nice and short hack and slash run.

First thing that stuck out as soon as I got there was that the place seemed kind of empty. Would probably try to add some more vegetation and rocks and stuff.

Wolves seemed to be guard encounters. Seeing them fight with the gnolls was kind of neat. But you might consider making some of the others hostile. A mounted player can pretty much run around as they want. The things that do agro won't chase far because they will get distracted by the wolves.

fuzsto8 · July 2013

ok thanks for the input. the wolves were supposed to be on wander: ignore all must have missed some.

Ill look into adding more environment and maybe more mobs.

fuzsto8 · July 2013

Added some new content. I could use some feedback on the new additions to my foundry mission, plus and new reviews i can get. More then happy to review others as well just post the short code and ill take a look.

Thanks all.

oortexplorer · July 2013

I'll add this to my list. You can play mine in return (info in sig). Hoping to get the average play time back up over 15 minutes, it's a dialogue-driven comedy.

oortexplorer · July 2013

Tried to play this quest, unfortunately when I got to the part where I need to retrieve Kazen's Dagger, I couldn't pick it up, it just kept saying "Out of line of sight". Obviously may need to move it up a little as it could be buried in the ground. Or put it on the wagon.

Up to this point, it's pretty solid. Just needs another layer of polish all around. More details in the outdoor maps, and some editing of the dialogue. Several examples of mis-spelled words or missing punctuation.

- your where it should be you're
- truely (truly)
- You kill me I highly doubt that welp (will help)
- tuff (tough)

fuzsto8 · July 2013

Thank you Oortexplorer. Looking into the dagger problem now, seesm it was slightly under ground. It could be triggered in the right spot , but now it is fixed.
Also fixed the mis-spells you pointed out think i got them all.

When you get a chance give it another try and let me know how it goes. Curious what think over all once your able to finish it.

oortexplorer · July 2013

Played through it today. It's solid. Simple story that feels like a single quest, if you want it to be a lengthier campaign it might be an idea to introduce a little more to the story that will draw us towards the second part. You tried for this a bit at the very end, perhaps a little more is needed overall (imo). Still could use a little polish in the written parts, and perhaps some more details in the outdoor landscape.

One odd thing, with the prisoners in the cages. I walked over there and got the message that I need a key to open them. However, after I clicked out of the dialogue, the cages opened and the prisoners were standing outside them. At that point, Dally's dialogue still said they were locked and I needed a key. I went back to the creature I had killed earlier and found the key, but when I returned to Dally with the key I still got the same message, lol (ie. that the cages were locked, and I needed the key). So some kind of glitch there that you may need to take another look at.

fuzsto8 · July 2013

Hmm yah i think I messed up made it so you had to interact with the cage after getting the key and should have been to return to dally. I will look into it though thank you for the feedback as always Oortexplorer.

As for the story part going to look into that. This was my first mission and was just trying to get a handle on things, but i will flesh it out more now that i know morw about the toolset.

fuzsto8 · July 2013

Wanted to give a big thanks to everyone that has played and given their reviews, with your help Birth of a Killer is now eligible for the daily foundry reward. Please still post any problems or concerns with the mission I am still looking to fine tune it more.

Now that the first part has gotten plays and reviews I can finish up part 2, and see what you all think about the continuation of the story. Be prepared to push yourself in this one i have taken everything I have learned from the first one and put it into part 2. So more fighting more story and surprises.

Thanks again

Vendreg of the Void

pris23 · August 2013

I ran your quest and I liked the idea of the story. It was simple, maybe a little too simple, but I am a big story fan. I am curious about Kazan and Garet. I'll keep an eye out for part 2. Also, I am going to PM you with my feedback so as not to spoil anything.

If you have time to review any of my quests I would appreciate it. My information is in my signature. I love feedback so feel free to PM with yours if you do indeed run any of my quests.

Happy questing/building. Cheers!

Birth if a Killer nw-dicxch5p2 (could use some reviews and feedback)

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