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To the Major Diety Lord Cryptic
drquinch
Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Hero Users Posts: 26 Arc User
Dear Mr Cyptic,
I write to you after a harrowing experience involving necromancy, bloodshed, and theft of cheese. After hearing rumours of the ghost of a dead halfing spotted in Neverwinter I embarked upon a quest of personal import.
You see I lost my darling wife of many years after she suffered a severe bout of drunkeness where she managed to start a fight with 2 Kolbolds, 3 Beholders and a Rogue Tulip Seller after an argument over who stole her 4 throwing daggers (she had 12 when she went into the bar and they just apparently "disappeared"). However this is of no import, as all this is in the past.
After employing the use of a Necromancer (who demanded payment in these strange "Zen" things), and tracking down the location of the "Unholy Ouija Board of the Internetz", the blood of a dead Unicorn and finally 13 cup cakes (the Necromancer was hungry), I was finally able to raise the Spirit of this dead Halfling.
It was indeed the spirit of my dead wife Therata, however imagine my shock........
"Well you changed" said I
"What do you mean" said the spirit of the dead Halfling spouse.
"Well no matter, how nice it is and see you, and....."
"Get to the point, I've a theiving Tulip Seller to find" said she.
"Well you seem....taller than I remember"
"Ooooh am I, maybe its your memory thats failing", a scowl flashed across her stern features
"....and your ears seem...pointed"
"Eh?" said she looking confused
"I know death is a harrowing experience, but you've definately changed. In fact you bear an uncanny resembalance to an Elf".
"Get Away, you're kidding me"
"No, no, really...you have certainly changed"
"REALLY....Well nice to meet you again. But its over, you see I've always preferred taller men. And now I've the legs to catch em when they try to run"
"WHAT, but we were married for so many years, I've slain a Unicorn and owe the cake seller for 13 cupcakes!!!!"
But to no avail as the spirit departed a greater speed than my legs could carry me in the direction of the Great Forest of the tall fair haired elf folk.
The Necromancer refused to return payment, as he said everthing was above board and I had signed a document called a EULA that meant he could do no wrong (don't remember signing it, I'm sure the signature is forged).
So after appealing to Lord Neverwinter (well I tried but the guards chased me away and threatened me with a "teleport"), to no avail. So I write to you as a Major Diety in the Pantheon of MMO Gods for the return of my darling wife and the banishment of this wicked "Elf Curse" placed upon my wife after her death.
Yours
Mildeu Trenchfoot. Esq
Fleabottom End
Lower Castle Midden
Neverwinter
PS. The Necromancer (I suspect) has also disappeared with one round of aged best cheddar (if you can see about that, what with you being a diety and all)
I write to you after a harrowing experience involving necromancy, bloodshed, and theft of cheese. After hearing rumours of the ghost of a dead halfing spotted in Neverwinter I embarked upon a quest of personal import.
You see I lost my darling wife of many years after she suffered a severe bout of drunkeness where she managed to start a fight with 2 Kolbolds, 3 Beholders and a Rogue Tulip Seller after an argument over who stole her 4 throwing daggers (she had 12 when she went into the bar and they just apparently "disappeared"). However this is of no import, as all this is in the past.
After employing the use of a Necromancer (who demanded payment in these strange "Zen" things), and tracking down the location of the "Unholy Ouija Board of the Internetz", the blood of a dead Unicorn and finally 13 cup cakes (the Necromancer was hungry), I was finally able to raise the Spirit of this dead Halfling.
It was indeed the spirit of my dead wife Therata, however imagine my shock........
"Well you changed" said I
"What do you mean" said the spirit of the dead Halfling spouse.
"Well no matter, how nice it is and see you, and....."
"Get to the point, I've a theiving Tulip Seller to find" said she.
"Well you seem....taller than I remember"
"Ooooh am I, maybe its your memory thats failing", a scowl flashed across her stern features
"....and your ears seem...pointed"
"Eh?" said she looking confused
"I know death is a harrowing experience, but you've definately changed. In fact you bear an uncanny resembalance to an Elf".
"Get Away, you're kidding me"
"No, no, really...you have certainly changed"
"REALLY....Well nice to meet you again. But its over, you see I've always preferred taller men. And now I've the legs to catch em when they try to run"
"WHAT, but we were married for so many years, I've slain a Unicorn and owe the cake seller for 13 cupcakes!!!!"
But to no avail as the spirit departed a greater speed than my legs could carry me in the direction of the Great Forest of the tall fair haired elf folk.
The Necromancer refused to return payment, as he said everthing was above board and I had signed a document called a EULA that meant he could do no wrong (don't remember signing it, I'm sure the signature is forged).
So after appealing to Lord Neverwinter (well I tried but the guards chased me away and threatened me with a "teleport"), to no avail. So I write to you as a Major Diety in the Pantheon of MMO Gods for the return of my darling wife and the banishment of this wicked "Elf Curse" placed upon my wife after her death.
Yours
Mildeu Trenchfoot. Esq
Fleabottom End
Lower Castle Midden
Neverwinter
PS. The Necromancer (I suspect) has also disappeared with one round of aged best cheddar (if you can see about that, what with you being a diety and all)
Post edited by drquinch on
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