Looking to trade reviews on my first Foundry quest - Bo Hemian's Rhapsody

lrkqella · June 2013

Hi all,

So I finally managed to complete my first quest and I would like to trade reviews. The quest is called Bo Hemian's Rhapsody. (NW-DMSNMLN9U).

The quest is a mix of exploration, puzzle solving, combat and gathering. It can be a little verbose in places, but purely to provide back story. You can skip through if reading isn't your thing.

It should take about 30 minutes to get through and it is targeted at a solo player with a companion. It can be a little tough in places so bring a few healing pots or a healing companion. I managed to solo it without too much difficulty as a 47 GF with a lvl 15 healer.

Anywho, I would be really grateful for any constructive feedback /bug /inconsistency identification and if you have a new adventure you would like me to review please respond here and I will review them for you.

Cheers

Knyghtblade.

givearandomname · June 2013

check out nw-dhnvmmgvj will run yours soon as finish one am doing now.

ash4ll · June 2013

If you would be willing to trade reviews, feel free to visit my thread. Here there is bunch of people that will definietly trade you some plays if you do play through theirs.

sphecida · June 2013

I'm always willing to trade reviews. I should be able to do yours tomorrow

zbkolde · June 2013

Great quest! I loved what you did with... certain encounters, and with sounds.

It took me quite awhile to get through it, but my level 60 Cleric takes a little bit to kill things, and i read through all of your dialog.

I'll send you my notes in a forum private message.

oortexplorer · June 2013

Really enjoy story/dialogue quests (and Queen!), so I'll add this to my list. Feel free to play mine, it's a lighthearted comedy with a decent amount of dialogue (info in sig).

lrkqella · June 2013

givearandomname wrote: »

check out nw-dhnvmmgvj will run yours soon as finish one am doing now.

I enjoyed the quest. PM sent with detailed feedback.

lrkqella · June 2013

ash4ll wrote: »

If you would be willing to trade reviews, feel free to visit my thread. Here there is bunch of people that will definietly trade you some plays if you do play through theirs.

I posted on the thread and played through and reviewed your quest.

Cheers

-Knyghtblade

lrkqella · June 2013

Bump /10chars

dioriel · June 2013

played through but it bugged at the end and was unable to finish. I will PM you detailed feedback. I'm a grammar HAMSTER so I found a lot of stuff

lrkqella · June 2013

I fixed the bug and all the other items you found. Seems that if you have a place marker with a 5 ft radius and move it ontop of a portal it doesn't detect when you reach the place marker. Extending the radius fixed that issue.

I would appreciate it if you could play through again and complete - your feedback has been invaluable to me.

I am going to play arachnophobia tonight

Cheers

Knyght

crok2 · June 2013

I cannot find this using the code. NW-DMSNMLN9U

lrkqella · June 2013

crok2 wrote: »

I cannot find this using the code. NW-DMSNMLN9U

So I have no idea why it did that. In the Foundry it showed as published but not in game. I withdrew the quest and republished and I can see it now in the game.

Please if you could try it again that would be great.

thanks

Knyght.

crok2 · June 2013

lrkqella wrote: »

So I have no idea why it did that. In the Foundry it showed as published but not in game. I withdrew the quest and republished and I can see it now in the game.

Please if you could try it again that would be great.

thanks

Knyght.

Alright I will try later tonight when I get home.

I couldn't find it last night either but then saw people leaving reviews here so thought it was me :P

ash4ll · June 2013

eh, wrong thread.

But I had another matter to say to you anyway: you posted in mine thread that you had reviewed a couple of quests but didnt post any feedback in correct section. Would you mind doing it? That way I would keep your quest in the list and you would gain reviews there.

lrkqella · June 2013

Sorry missed that. I have reviewed one of the quests and I will get another couple done over the weekend.

cheers

-Knyght.

oortexplorer · June 2013

Pretty solid quest. Enjoyed the Queen references. I was unable to finish it though, got into Bohemian's room but I couldn't for the life of me find anything to interact with. Not sure if this is meant to be a puzzle or not, but Bohemian is just standing there and the quest direction is something like teleport to Bohemian's Room, which I had already done. I had to exit out of NW for the night, but hopefully i will be able to pick up where I left off and complete it.

A few minor spelling issues, and items still named their original name (can't remember a specific example, but things like Crystal 02). A lot of "Press F to interact", may want to dress those up a bit with a direction.

I really like the design of the final room (even though I was unable to progress), overall map design and story were well done (enjoyed the twist). One minor critique would be that it does feel a bit long, I would work to tighten it up just a little bit. Specifically in the first 10-15 minutes, and then towards the end, the crystals were starting to get a bit tedious (4 fairly lengthy treks to do the same thing and fight the same enemies), although the set design of the last 2 spiced things up a bit nicely.

So let me know what I am missing in Bohemian's room, and I'll hopefully be able to continue and complete it for your review.

lrkqella · June 2013

When did you play? I corrected the issue with Bohemian's room a few day's ago as well as changing the names of interact objects. I just ran through it myself from the server and it still seems to be fine.

On the Press F to interact - I have added interact text to be something like 'overload the crystals with the control orb' so that the action when playing reads 'Press F to overload the crystals with the control orb' Is there anything else I can do?

If you are referring to the searching of the room - the ones that open a dialog, those kind of interactions seem to work differently and ignore any interact text or action on the object itself.

I would be honoured if you would give it another try - I am sure you will enjoy the changes I made.

Cheers

knyght

oortexplorer · June 2013

I played it last night, before making that post.

Althoooough ... I think I may have had it in my journal for a day or two, rather than picking it up last night. In which case, I guess it's my fault for being a moron, since it probably was the old version. I will re-play, but it may take another day or two.

Just published an update on mine, if you haven't tried it yet.

lrkqella · June 2013

Looking for more reviews. Happy to review your adventure in return.

Cheers

Knyght

lrkqella · July 2013

When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide
Where I stop and I turn and I go for a ride
Till I get to the bottom and I see you again.

xpurpleinsanityx · July 2013

Dunno if you saw it, but I dropped you a review on the "review trades" spreadsheets

Be nice to get a review back

(In my sig)

jaggeropth · July 2013

Just ran your quest. Nice job. Thoroughly enjoyed it.

oortexplorer · July 2013

Finally got around to completing this one, sorry for the delay. I didn't really notice a lot of "Press F to Interact" directions this time, it's possible you may have corrected them in the new version. Not a big deal in either case.

As mentioned before, I really enjoyed all the Queen references. And overall the story was quite well done. Encounters and maps were well placed and set up.

I guess my biggest issue would be that it still feels a little bit long, it's the kind of story that I feel would be even better with some tightening (not a lot, just a little). The best opportunity to address this is running around to the crystals, it may be a better overall quest with 2 or 3 crystals (rather than 4), as this part feels a little tedious during what is meant to be the climax of the story. The set design for red and blue look great, so I'd consider maybe removing one of the first two.

Something to consider: it might be nice to have some sort of dialogue with Beelzebub before the final battle. Feels like a natural place for it, and his earlier lines were well-written so it kind of feels weird to walk in there and start the fight without any confrontation or discussion.

Couple of issues to fix up: the paintings and deer head in all 3 bedrooms in the inn are located about a foot off the wall.

Minor grammar/spelling corrections:

-The line "until you burst in and "saved" me.After that ..." needs a space in between the two sentences.
- "he must recruit others to perform the ritul" - should be "ritual".
- "Little did we know would infact destroy us all ..." - "in fact" should be two words.
- Final note at the end, it should be spelled "inconsistencies".

also, gotta get "The show must go on" in there somewhere!

Overall, really nice quest. I'll be interested to see what you come up with next.

lrkqella · July 2013

Thanks for the feedback - I fully understand what you mean about the crystals and reducing the three would certainly make things snappier.

I am in the process of removing the prebuilt tavern and putting in place a designed from scratch version. I want to improved the whole feel of the first 2 maps to bring in line with the final section. Adding dialogue with Bohemian is also a must do - have to put on my witty retort hat again

I'll let you all know when the inn is completed and the other fixes are in place and published - you wont have to play all the way through again - just looking for feedback on the atmosphere and if it's hitting the right tone.

Cheers

Knyght

lrkqella · July 2013

So I have made some key changes, to improve the story. I removed some elements to make the quest flow better and added a couple to help drive the direction, but the most significant changes are mainly around the look and feel of the first 2 zones. Here are a couple of before / after comparison shots so you can see what I mean.

Please feel free to try the quest and give me feedback. I am happy to do review trades. You should be able to search on the quest boards by name now.

Cheers

Knyght

lrkqella · July 2013

bump 10 chars

winterswitch · July 2013

This quest sounds like it's right up my alley. I'll run it today, and review. Please check out "The Green Zone"--info is in my sig. Thanks.

lrkqella · July 2013

winterswitch wrote: »

This quest sounds like it's right up my alley. I'll run it today, and review. Please check out "The Green Zone"--info is in my sig. Thanks.

Will do - thanks!

Looking to trade reviews on my first Foundry quest - Bo Hemian's Rhapsody

Comments