Hello. I'm Serry and I'd be happy to offer two reviews, since my hubby volunteered to also review anyone that helps me, for some reviews of my first quest. I'm working on a few other quests so I expect to do this again pretty soon. I'll happily subscribe to at least the first four replies so that I can review future projects. And I'll be happy to review more than the first four replies since I know how frustrating it's been for me waiting for those played numbers to move. Good luck and thanks in advance.
My first quest is Mad Mary's Missing Hound NW-DOR9NCQ8S. There will be more. Happy creating.
Serry
Comments
I'll start in the next 10 mins, need a break from my current Foundry project.
Back in a bit with comments.
All The Best
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First off, the tone of the quest dialogue seemed "tongue in cheek humourous" in nature. Not necessarily a bad thing, but not in general to my taste, and I am not convinced yet that this medium is an suitable vehicle for such quests.
But, that said that's not the issue here.
A few items that you interact with still have their generic foundry names, we all do it I am sure (I think there's still a door (or 2) in my quest that have them), but in general reviewers like to see such things renamed.
The Dialogue (given my reservations about the style) was well presented and no major Typo's stood out.
Details did though.
The Camp Fire is "floating", as are parts of the surrounding walls.
But the big issue is I couldn't progress to the "next map", there was no door / portal mechanism for me to use - the "sparkly trail" led to the solitary door stood on the grass, but it wasn't possible to interact with it. I assume it takes me to another map with the Dog / Chickens etc on.
So, its mainly about the construction of the quest (why is it not letting me progress), and a lot of attention to detail.
The basis of a reasonable story seem to be there, even though it seems that story will not be to everyone's taste (don't let that put you off - we can't please all the people all the time).
Liked the use of the "use the door" to allow you achieve Mary's costume swap "off camera" so to speak.
All The Best
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Drop By Scribe's Enclave & Meet Up With Volunteer Reviewers.
Act I: Part I: The Awakening: NW-DGDH5ZYE5
Act I: Part II: The Awakening: ND-DUGC8287P
Act II: The Plague: WIP
Griffon Beach: WIP
NW-DMFGWPBN3 The Lost City - Review Thread
I also had an issue with your quest where it wouldn't let me advance with the journal. I couldn't get a continue option on the last entry so I was stuck there. I tried exit, restarting that area, even picking the other dialog option with the woman at the door, but I still could not advance. I will drop and retry the quest later to see if that clears anything.
Best of luck on the rest of your campaign. And thanks for the review.
For the first objective you might consider being more descriptive about the location. Right now it just says something like Mary's missing dog.
I had the issue described above where the floating door wasn't interactable. Now, in my case, I tried interacting with the door before talking to mary and receiving the next part of the quest. That made the shiny stuff disappear. I like to see how I can break stuff . Maybe there's a way to rework the objectives so you can't click on the door until after you talk to Mary.
To fix that, I just exited the quest and came back in. It dropped me on the next map right in front of the Drow door. Was that a forest? Or a swamp? That map was really wide open and I ended up avoiding most of the encounters by just walking around them. Some more objects and detail in that map might make it feel more like a swamp or forest. You could also guide players a bit more with impassable objects.
The final encounter map was great. Cool effects and it had a good feel to it. With some heavy tweaking this could be a fantastic quest.
If you have a chance to check mine out, here is the info. Thanks for putting your quest together. I'll be happy to replay when you've made some changes.
A Short Dig - NW-DA8O42CFF
Most of the quest or door "interactions" say "Go to Next Map". Might want to change that, it tends to break immersion. There were also a few items that didn't have the object's name changed, for example "Burlap Sack 01" for the Key, and during the swamp map "Meat Spit 01" on the objects. When you get the part to use the Mysterious Door it will break if you choose the option "Interact" instead of "Go to next map" AFTER speaking with Mary. I had to leave the map and reenter through the Deekin Street door to progress further.
The maps are kinda sparse, might want to throw some bushes down or cluster weeds, etc.. Use fences to help determine a road or route. At the very end a cook fire (pit) is floating above the ground, don't know if that was intended or not. Overall fun little quest, not sure how long it took me exactly as I skipped most of the encounters in the swamp. You could use "Reach Point" markers in the quest to keep people on track fighting werewolves if you want to extend the time. I think I only saw one typo and that was with Bloodmonger "Interupting needs to be Interrupting". I enjoyed it, and glad you shared it with us. I'll definitely replay it after the fixes. I hope this has helped.
Act I: Part I: The Awakening: NW-DGDH5ZYE5
Act I: Part II: The Awakening: ND-DUGC8287P
Act II: The Plague: WIP
Griffon Beach: WIP
Act I: Part I: The Awakening: NW-DGDH5ZYE5
Act I: Part II: The Awakening: ND-DUGC8287P
Act II: The Plague: WIP
Griffon Beach: WIP
Running yours now.
Please review my "Finger of God" campaign: NWS-DPJMGYJGV
Quest #1: NW-DS24FX4BC - Cragsford
Quest #2: NW-DTPUNXUAB - Mine's Mine
Quest #3: NW-DIPZQ7CMS - Are We There Yeti?
Quest #4: NW-DSCFDT5WS - Finger of God
red, very well done sewer. It was packed and looked lived in. Very nice. And the back story was pretty neat.
h. Love your maps. Love love love. Your village was creepy and haunted and the spider cave was really cool. But the loss of the item from the beggar when moving from part one to part two was kind of disappointing. Since I always lose my items when leaving/finishing the quest, then maybe you could move that guy and his conversation to the beginning of part two so that you can get those options. I'm curious what he said about it.
jagg, your side quests were great. Unfortunately I lost all those items when I finished the quest, and a few of them didn't 'vanish' when I turned the quest in, so I was having a bit of a space issue. And since I rescued the horse before getting to the dancer's belongings, I had to try and get the horse stuck behind a tree so I could loot that crate. He was in the way the whole time. And I climbed the mountain to get on the catwalk so I missed the quest advance at the beginning of the catwalk and had to turn around and run back up. All in all a great story start. I will get to the other parts. And I loved that new wall of yours. I'm curious what you're going to put around it. Very cool. And I will check out your other quests, I just had to go to bed at some time.
dark. Oh the pirate cove. That was cool. All twisty and turny with so many ups and downs. It felt like a real adventure in that cave full of surprises. But I died at the last fight and had to run all the way back. It felt like forever. And I didn't get lost in the maze the first time, but on the way back I kept running into the same two corners for several minutes. Maybe I was tired, but wow that took a long time. And for some reason when I dragged the giant bone golem into the maze because I didn't want to stop to kill him, he turned into a giant werewolf. That was sort of funny. I'm very curious exactly what all those ghosts are up to.
maer, some of those drow were kicking my butt. I had great fun with the spiders and some of Lucia's reactions. And the conversations were nicely done and funny at times. Can't wait to see what's inside that city.
caus, the little extras were nice. Not that I appreciated the ogre stomp with adds, but that was my own fault. And those drow at the crystals were insane. I felt like such a boss when I finally got them down, though I need to restock my health pots. Very pretty and very well done.
Forgive me if I've got anyone's names/quests mixed up. I'm going from memory and my memory sucks.
Keep up the good work, folks. I'm having a lot of fun playing in your heads. And hopefully my quest will update those fixes. And hopefully my next quest will be much more user friendly when I get it published. Thanks again for the feedback so far. Very helpful. And thanks for your great work. I'm definitely inspired to do even better.
Edit: I just replayed the quest Serry, and the changes have published. It's much better . Very well done.
Act I: Part I: The Awakening: NW-DGDH5ZYE5
Act I: Part II: The Awakening: ND-DUGC8287P
Act II: The Plague: WIP
Griffon Beach: WIP
Have just played through your quest. Quite an enjoyable little romp.
Just a small comment and bug
Bug: The door to doom at the beginning. It gives 2 options when you click on it. DOOM or INTERACT. If you select interact, it opens and you can't continue. Had to quit and restart. Maybe put a portal instead of a door?
Comment: The mini-boss fights were interesting but it got tired after seeing wolf/wolf archers for the nth time. Maybe spice it up with some variety?
Appreciate a playthrough of my quests below (See sig)
Cheers
#1: 3 Suns Aligned NW-DFEKZANXF
#2: The Amulet of the Shining Sun NW-DRKKGUI26
#2 has choices that give a high amount of replayability
The Legend of Khyber - NWS-DK33EIYMY
#1: The Holy Symbol of Khyber NW-DU3HEVWJ7
#2: The Gauntlets of Khyber NW-DN0006FAZ
Heavy combat/light story