Trading reviews for new quest: Portia's Fire

ceylokrinn · May 2013

Greetings, Foundry authors!

I am seeking reviewers for my first Foundry quest:

Portia's Fire - by @Andurant

Short Code: NW-DDSLDZCOB
Mission Type: Exploration / Combat / Rescue the Maiden
Average Duration: About 10 minutes
Amount of Combat: Escalating difficulty; minimal/standard to high
Starts at: Protector's Enclave

Mission Summary:

A torn, slightly burned piece of parchment on the job board seems to have been written in haste by a child. The brief note reads:

"Please help me find my friend Portia... Some bad men attacked us and dragged her away.
I can't find her anywhere... The guards won't help me...
I'm afraid for her safety and have no where else to turn...

Look for me at the end of Deekin Street...".

Author comments:

"Portia's Fire" is my first Foundry quest, intended as a proof of concept and used to become familiar with Foundry tools and mechanisms. This quest is an exploration, combat, and rescue story designed to give the player a strong sense of immediate, time-sensitive peril.

It was designed for a solo player, but has been play-tested with a wide range of character levels and classes, both with and without companions.

Screenshot

Portia's%20Fire.jpg

Final thoughts

Thanks everybody for checking out my quest! Please send along any comments, concerns, or issues you have.
Add your own quest to this thread and I will gladly play and review your own efforts.

lordxorus · May 2013

just 10 mins? i'm up for that!

shoot, i'll play it now! lol .. anything to help a fellow foundry creator out

mine's in my sig!

lordxorus · May 2013

sorry for taking so long..

no offense meant by my comments, btw.. (just trying to help)
great concept / story... I'd definitely develop this storyline, it's got great potential

not sure but I think you were using point tracking (uses points on minimap) try using the area instead (it's an option when you select a npc or object for your quest)

Fire burns , and respawn was in the fire, but that could have been intentional on your part.
but fire is also hard to track or even see your loot in, altho it does have the aspect of helping disguise or hide your enemies well.

the main boss you had was appropriate, but wasn't easy on my mid 50s control wizard because of the close quarters. although I did find him challenging. my main concern with boss fights is if they are uncontrollable and in close quarters one can easily die. ( I ate 2 potions, the other mobs made me over-confidant, lol ) Uncontrollable meaning my entangling force (strangulates them) and repel (pushes them away) does not effect him, and those are the main ways a control wizard stays alive.

all in all, great story.. good luck

ps: I put all my remarks here and not in the review that people can see in-game, I 5 starred it for the concept / originality and enjoyment factor. I try not to put bad remarks in one's review.

pss: actually on my control wizard at this level 55-56 w/o a bunch of blues, almost all content is a lil bit harder, so take that into consideration

ceylokrinn · May 2013

LordXorus:

My gosh, NONE of that was bad comments, just your honest thoughts! Thank you very much for playing the quest and offering your feedback. Yes, a lot of the fire was intentional (camouflage, minor damage/threat, etc). I will consider opening up the final encounter a bit more, though I tested with my own newbie control wizard (lvl 6) and didn't have that issue. I've read that higher up players change things, however, so it's great feedback.

thanks again!

I'll check yours out, as well.

ceylokrinn · May 2013

lordzorus:

I played your quest, 'Wanted - Hero "Lil Chubs" and enjoyed it tremendously! It was a great story, and Chubs (at times) was funny (though the jokes wore thin, after a bit). Despite the option of easy/medium/hard choices, the path and tale was a tad linear. The combat was fabulous, challenging, and fun!

some minor notes I made while playing, maybe some useful, and others not:

- Some of your interaction texts (like the Master's log book) could have been fleshed out, for immersion. You did some, but not others. So 'read the log book' would have resulted in a prompt that read 'Press F to read the log book'

- The beserker hiding on the other side of the door was an awesome ambush encounter (though I anticipated that, and took him out first. Others caught me, though, especially deeper into the story)

- All these old wagons in the basement: How did they get there? <chuckles>

- Gosh, KUDOS on that combination Spikes and Saw blade trap! And here I was being a clever adventurer, and taking the longer, more circular path, too! That was very nicely done.

- I liked how the mobs were placed so that I could avoid some of them completely, if I chose. Being the bloodthirsty type, I DIDN'T.. but I COULD have.

- One minor error in LiL Chub's dialogue, near the end. He says "That Cultist Priest tried to kill me, when some of his own, attacked him" (both commas are unnecessary)

- After the Thoon Hulk (awesome fight), the sparklies path leads back to another door, unprompted.. why? Your tale did such a great job of keeping me in the "thread" up til that point. It seemed off, being unprompted.

All in all, It was an epic quest for me. Thanks for sharing that, Sir.

mrrobsworld · May 2013

I've added you to my quest to-do list. Please check out my first quest as well.
Descendant of Simon Part 1 -- NW-DDMY3WOTA --
Thanks.
I'm also gonna check out your Lil Chubs as well LordXorus

ceylokrinn · May 2013

Lil Chubs was written by another developer but yes: by all means, check out his quest!

ceylokrinn · May 2013

mrrobsworld - played the Descendant of Simon. Enjoyed it tremendously, smooth, well developed quest, sir! no real troubles of any kind, combat was tough but balanced, great story... one minor issue: killing the 1st queen protector past the barrier seemed to cause the Queen to perish, even though she was only half strength... I look forward to the subsequent chapters!

mrrobsworld · May 2013

hmmm,,i'll have to take a look at the queen issue, thanks for the feedback...

portias fire was a fun little quest, the fire everywhere adds another level of challenge, when a short simple quest gets me a little irritated it is a good one indeed. well played

meysa · June 2013

I think this was a very well done quest, but the fact that you can go into all parts of it, when the story really drives what parts should be opened up when, makes me think you should put some doors that only are operable when X has occurred. Other than that, I thought it was really nice!

lisaxreinke · June 2013

Hi. I wrote a review for your quest in game. Here are comments not included in game:

I like short quests, though it needs to be a bit longer if you want to qualify for the daily foundry.
The first mob I saw looked like it spawned on top of the table . . . though I'm not sure if that quite happened or if it is what you want to happen.
Spelling error: "I'm searching . . . waskidnapped . . ." So just change it to "was kidnapped."

The 3rd to last objective or so just read "Portia's Fire." It probably should read something closer to Find Portia, just for clarity sake.

Okay. Good job. If you get a chance, review my new quest. NW-DBLLB920C Populist Animal Revolution 16 minutes atm.

Thanks.

lolsorhand · June 2013

I'll try it out within 1-2 hours, probobly sooner. Was delayed by an sudden RP session, apologies. Will do this now.

Feel free to check mine out, though i'd recommend two players, it is soloable.

Riddles in the Dark.
NW-DLEWTKWKD

ceylokrinn · June 2013

Lisaxreinke, Awesome spoof of George Orwell's 'Animal Farm'! I enjoyed that tremendously! No major glitches, though a few interaction texts don't read right in game. The Last Encounter (the... ahem... 'big boss') seemed a little underpowdered. He overacted, a little, too.. a bit of a Ham! :-)

darriot777 · June 2013

Heya, I'll add this one to my list. I'll take a look at it tonight or tomorrow morning, when I get the chance to play.
I'm a first time quest maker too. Want to trade reviews?
Here's mine: NW-DP6JVC2WO

darriot777 · June 2013

I liked the quest! It was a neat idea and kept up a sense of urgency that I had to find this girl before she dies. Nicely done.
The Good:
1) Short simple and sweet.
2) Sense of urgency. I may steal the concept for my next foundry quest.

3) Enemies progressively get harder, which is a nice touch.
4) I liked the respawn point being the fire itself. I read that it was intentional. Good idea.
The bad:
1) Right off, the first purple flame you can interact with I ran through on accident. Tried to backtrack to interact with it but was attacked.
2) I would have liked to have seen some dialogue from Portia.
3) I would agree that the quest is short and needs to be longer, however, if you lengthen it, you will lose some of that urgency that seems so vital to the quest. Maybe encounter some things in rooms before we start seeing fire? Or maybe just start with smoke? Those could give you some extra time on the clock.
All in all, Great quest! I liked the idea!

kyeo138 · June 2013

My thoughts as I play through

1. I liked the intro text on the job board, and how the kid makes fun of you if you don't help him.
2. Nice use of fire, you could add some smoke/mist effects too, and make it very hard to see.
3. The quest objective "Portia's Fire", I wasn't sure what to do. Is portia on fire, or in a fire, or one of those purple fire things?
4. The purple flames you interact with aren't very obvious (being in the middle of all the other flames).
5. Very nice quest, short and tight. No grammar errors I could see (which drive me crazy), and nicely laid out maps.

It didn't let me review (someone invite me to a group and it closed the review window, grrrrr), but I give it a 4/5. I really don't have many suggestions to improve... maybe you could add a bit more dialog/puzzle in the beginning before the 'burning building' part starts? It's a pretty good quest overall though.

Trading reviews for new quest: Portia's Fire

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