x's review trades!

xhrit · May 2013

So, now that I am finished with my campaign I am available to trade reviews. I wrote "Tears of Selune" with the goal of challenging expectations; and with the overwhelmingly positive feedback I have received, I am fairly confidant I succeeded.

However just because something is good, doesn't mean it can't be better. I would very much like to hear your opinion about the subject, and I will in turn give you my critique of your quest or quests.

So, here is the deal: Review one or all of of my quests, leave your short codes in your post or your sig, and I will review yours within the next 24 hours!

Offer is open, any takers?

Edit : campaign short code is NWS-DBNPMFAWW, in case you are blocking sigs.

kamaliicious · May 2013

Feedback: I block signatures.

talli0 · May 2013

Just finished Feast of the Moon. Really enjoyed it. Nice pacing, with interesting storyline. Definitely made me want to try out the next part.

As an overpowered TR, I really enjoyed having the challenge of going down the righthand passage.

Some notes:

Considering how good the story was, it was a little disappointing that the environments felt a bit bland and generic. For all of your locations, I think you could triple or quadruple the amount of details you add and it would boost the overall effect. Plus, I know sounds can be a bit buggy with the foundry but would have liked some ambient sounds throughout. Was kinda wierd that I was walking through a big party and it seemed absolutely silent.

Also, it is a major pat peeve of mine when group of mobs are just standing in the straight line formation that the foundry originally puts them in. I think it would work better if you move them around, maybe give them some animations so it doesn't feel like they are just standing there waiting for you to kill them. For example, the big nasties in the final map should be standing around throwing out taunts at each other, or flexing, or whatever you can get them to do.

Other than that, it was a nice job. I'll be continuing the storyline soon and will pop back in with more comments on those quests.

Feel free to check out the quest I recently published. All details should be in my signature.

xhrit · May 2013

Thanks for the feedback - next pass I will add sounds, more detail, and mix up the mob formations a bit.

Just finished your quest, it was really good. The only issues I could find were a few typos.

Nealyn -> Fascinating, truly remarkable -> 5th paragraph -> But instead of buy.
One of the warerats had a typo as well, which I forgot to write down.

xhrit · May 2013

kamaliicious wrote: »

Feedback: I block signatures.

Added the short code...

nam19772 · May 2013

Hey I'm not a foundry author nor do I intend to be one at any point, but I'll still play your quest(s) once i'm done watching some pro dota2 games.

vold316 · May 2013

I will review your campaign asap.

Please review mine:
Act 1: The abandoned mine? @vold316
NW-DHD2OVVYC

Thanks.

xhrit · May 2013

vold316 wrote: »

I will review your campaign asap.
Please review mine:
Act 1: The abandoned mine? @vold316
NW-DHD2OVVYC

Thanks.

Played through with my level 28 rogue. Great dungeon crawl, but there are a few issues that prevent it from getting a perfect 5 star score. A list of complaints is as follows;

1) Almost all the orks attacked the tortured gobos in cages instead of me, allowing me to pick them off one at a time. Move the cages to the other side of the room to fix this issue.
2) Tommy says the word "anyways" far too often. You can delete at least half the times he says it.
3) Capt. Pinkeye is a horrible name for a bad guy. I guess it is an even worse name for a good guy but still; it is a bad name in general.
4) "Davy Jones Locker" is an earth reference, and breaks immersion in FR lore. That would be like having a viking warewolf talk about sending you to valhalla.
5) Digging down/ climbing ladder sequence seemed far too drawn out. It did nothing to advance the plot, all the log entries could have been in a single book with multiple pages. At first I thought it was going to be a maze with multiple branching paths and dead ends, but instead all it seemed to do was be a linear route through a bunch of progress bars and empty rooms.
6) Given the overall length of the quest it seemed talking to the enclave npc at the start was a bit superfluous. If the quest was shorter and needed to be padded for time to reach the 15 minutes required for eligibility then I would understand, but I would recommend moving the text given to players via this NPC to the mission description / first dialog with Tommy.

That is all... fix those things to earn your last star. ^^

labmouse42 · May 2013

I have reviewed your quest and found it to be a lot of fun.
Can you return the favor and review mine? The info is located in my sig. Thanks!

As a roleplayer I would like more conversation options. Even if they are silly and moot, they add a lot to the game IMHO.

I like the plant based decor in the home -- it really gives the feel of a nobles home.

I like how you require specific skills to open dialogue or interact with objects.

The 'hard' path was no joke.

As a controller wizard, I figured I would have been able to read the statue.

I fell of a ledge in poor lighting to my death. Can you add more lighting pelease? In the same room 3 mobs jumped to their death as well.

I dug the zombie filled ruins. It was a nice touch. The effects like blood splatters and streak marks to go behind doors was awesome.

The entire thing was hard to solo as a lvl 29 controller wizard. I used 19 healing potions.

beeblebrox69 · May 2013

Ran the first quest and left a review in-game. Overall, pretty good. I like some of your environments, and the cave design was nice. To go from "pretty good" to "excellent" think about maybe customizing the lighting inside the house. The default lighting is really bland. Particularly when you return, you could REALLY make it more dramatic by playing around with the details a little more (stuff like the crooked paintings is excellent--more more more!)

Good stuff though--and great job with the lore and story!

I found the quest really amusing though, because there are a quite few parallels to my own quest... I don't want to spoil them, but I think you'll enjoy it.

Give it a run through when you get a chance. Info's in the signature:

xhrit · May 2013

labmouse42 wrote: »

I have reviewed your quest and found it to be a lot of fun. As a roleplayer I would like more conversation options. Even if they are silly and moot, they add a lot to the game IMHO.

I am a total rper too, which I am sure you could tell by the things like my loremaster with his 5 pages of background text.. I would like to add more dialog options, but the foundry is very limited in what it can do, and I am just getting the hang of it.

As a controller wizard, I figured I would have been able to read the statue.

The statue is of the Dark Goddess Shar. Only cleric can read it. Mages can read the summoning scrolls in the master bedroom, as well as dispell the magical ward in the guest bedroom. Maybe I should write in the description that it is holy text?

I fell of a ledge in poor lighting to my death. Can you add more lighting pelease? In the same room 3 mobs jumped to their death as well.

The lighting in that part of the map is not only intentionally dark, but everything in the room was actually positioned in such a way so that it draws people towards the center of the map, making more people fall into the hole and die. The more people fall in the hole, the happier I get. I know, I know.

I am a terrible DM.

I take it you have not played Rising of the Dark yet? ^^

*evilgrin*

The 'hard' path was no joke... The entire thing was hard to solo as a lvl 29 controller wizard. I used 19 healing potions.

The quest was designed to be difficult (but still possible) for one person to solo, and provide somewhat of a challenge for my girlfriend and myself to duo. I added a note to that effect to the quest description. My record for speedrunning the quest is 11 minutes with my level 60 GWF (9600GS). I have also cleared the quest on the same character using no potions and no healing pet, although it took me considerably longer. The hard path specifically was designed more for a group.

xhrit · May 2013

labmouse42 wrote: »

Can you return the favor and review mine? The info is located in my sig. Thanks!

Sorry it took so long to review, I was hung up on some other things. Anyways, your quest is a fun knuckle bash, but there are some things that stood out to me as needing improvement.
Encounters seemed a bit too easy, I steamrolled over everything with my 9600GS GWF.
Inside the inn was nice, but the village looked a bit plain. You should break up the layout a bit.
All the bandits attacked deckard instead of me.
Don't use bandit encounters unless you want them to yell "for the neshers".
Some of the jokes fell flat, but that is the way it is with comedy; even the best stand up is hit and miss...

labmouse42 · May 2013

Thanks for the input. Ill move the bandits around, and maybe change them to orks but alter the skins.

I was afraid to ramp up the encounters to much, but if you think they are a bit to easy I can do that.

If you have any suggestions for jokes or changes, just IM me, and Ill be happy to make changes. Humor is hard, as what one person finds funny the others will be 'meh'. I'm not a comedy writer either.

What makes the inn nice is the running around the inn and effecting the local population. I really tried to maximise the space inside the small pre-built inn. Ill try and do more with the village. Even if people skip all the encounters, there can be more there.

xhrit · May 2013

I can't help with the jokes, I fail at humor as well... my campaign is a tragedy, not a comedy!

As for gameplay, I was thinking maybe you should put some patrols in, and make it so players can pull them one at a time if they are careful, but chain if they are not...

That way people who want to think can find a way around, and people who just run in and kill stuff can have a bigger fight...

labmouse42 · May 2013

I like that idea a lot.

I'm also spending a lot of time today working on the village. Instead of having 4 random NPCs stand around doing nothing, I'. fleshing out the village.

As the villagers have recently come into a lot of free time (with zombies doing their farming for them) they have picked up new crafts. I've created a blacksmith, a sculptor, an aspiring chef, and a guy reading books trying to teach himself wizardry.

Instead of the flat bandit encounter - which feels tacked on to add length, I'm going to have Sir Loin direct you to assist each villager in a simple task. Find a new hammer, secure books, etc.

The trick is I want to keep the flavor of the campaign. Each encounter can be done as a hero or villain either trying to help people or just causing mayhem and destruction. The joke is that Lady Vinter might actually be an apparition of a celestial being (if your good) or is just a figment of your imagination (if your evil)

x's review trades!

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