Review for review, Playing foundry all day.

ovaltine74 · May 2013

Review mine and I'll review yours.

I'll take them in the order they are received.

Be descriptive in your review. "I liked it" or "I hated it" is not a review.

I'll take on as many as I can for the next 12 hours.

runis12 · May 2013

Just woke up - ready to play some Foundries! I really hate the in-game rating/review box. Want me to PM or post here?

givearandomname · May 2013

check out NW-DCJWWFVMD ITS MY FIRST STORY QUEST RUNNING YOUR NOW

ovaltine74 · May 2013

Just woke up - ready to play some Foundries! I really hate the in-game rating/review box. Want me to PM or post here?

I'll take critiques any way I can get them! I just hope you like it.

givearandomname · May 2013

ok posting review here as was unable in the game.

the story had me intrested but the mission has problems.

1. first dialogue with the first letter is to long you cant see the click response to continue the quest spent 15 mins looking around building thinking was something else to do till i hit 1 while reading letter again.
2. second dialogue with imp has same problem on last page right before the fight.
3. next part in the town the victims were cool but the bad guys were more intrested in fighting them then me.
4. killed my way around to the end to kill the cpt and other guy made it as far as the greatfull citizens but there was no more to kill. the searched the whole map was no more npc alive.
east of the group of greatfull citizens that you can talk to was a wooden gate i could hear something being attacked and would go into combat stance when near it so assumeing one of the npc is stuck under a building I tried running it twice got stuck at this point both times. might want to run thru it and see if its just me or what.

if get it fixed let me know ingame name is namin@givearandomname also check out mine at nw-dcjwwfvmd

runis12 · May 2013

1. Very good story
2. Minor punctuation, spelling mistakes
3. While good, there was simply too much dialogue - flows off-screen that you can't even see your options
4. Not that I had this problem, but maybe add an in-game device for people to optionally lessen the fog effects
5. Had to look for a few minutes for the boss at the streets. I knew the purple fire was important- ha!
6. Miss Grosse is the best! I am actually inspired to make a character like her.
7. The beach was a fresh breath of air. Maybe add some litter on the shores from the ship wreck?
8. The "other realm" - don't want to spoil - was pretty cool, though it was a pain to fight monsters with AOE. The black and white doesn't allow me to see their AOE/directional attacks (the attack regions are not in color too!). Not your fault, but that, on top of the heavy fog, it was kind of annoying to fight those guys, even in a straight hall-way.

Be sure to add a tag to this quest that it is very story heavy.

I think those who love delving into deep stories like this would love to see a little clean-up with dialogue, and just more consistency with the GOOD/EVIL/NEUTRAL replies. It took me a little to get used to my character doing the talking for me, and doing the thinking for me. I honestly don't think a lot of people would respond favorably to it.

I'm getting breakfast now. Putting my dialogue-crushed brain into the coffee filter, maybe I'll get it back.

Wish I could have read the full dialogue without it going off screen.

Edit: I did stream/record this, but deleted it. There weren't any technical flaws in the environment that I encountered, just me going through lots of dialogue.

So, I don't think it would have helped ya.

I just remembered Miss Grosse's pathing was off when she moved from the sauna to the beach. She was stuck on a fence.

ovaltine74 · May 2013

givearandomname wrote: »

ok posting review here as was unable in the game.

the story had me intrested but the mission has problems.

1. first dialogue with the first letter is to long you cant see the click response to continue the quest spent 15 mins looking around building thinking was something else to do till i hit 1 while reading letter again.
2. second dialogue with imp has same problem on last page right before the fight.
3. next part in the town the victims were cool but the bad guys were more intrested in fighting them then me.
4. killed my way around to the end to kill the cpt and other guy made it as far as the greatfull citizens but there was no more to kill. the searched the whole map was no more npc alive.
east of the group of greatfull citizens that you can talk to was a wooden gate i could hear something being attacked and would go into combat stance when near it so assumeing one of the npc is stuck under a building I tried running it twice got stuck at this point both times. might want to run thru it and see if its just me or what.

if get it fixed let me know ingame name is namin@givearandomname also check out mine at nw-dcjwwfvmd

Sorry you had trouble. The greatful citizens that come out to great you tell you where the captain is. Not going to spoil it for everyone else, but if you speak to them, you are sure to know where to go.

As far as the long dialogue and options not appearing, I suppose I could shorten up some of the longer ones. Apparently the game plays differently for some people, I can see all the options. It is story heavy and I will put that in the description.

ovaltine74 · May 2013

givearandomname wrote: »

check out NW-DCJWWFVMD ITS MY FIRST STORY QUEST RUNNING YOUR NOW

Even though you were not able to get very far in mine, I did complete yours. I gave it a four. There were some problems.

The spider web projections near the beginning were not looking very good, consider cob webs instead.

There was some confusing dialogue. Need some punctuation in places. Sentences are running together

The red and blue crystals are white. Not sure how you want to address that.

If not for those issues it would be a five. I enjoyed the quest.

The part of the quest where you have to clear the area of hostile creatures I got to 4/5 and had to look all over the place for what I missed. I finally found one of the ogres floating in the air under the platform. I was able to jump down there and kill him and got back up after jumping on rocks.

The spawn point is a country mile from the final boss. If you die there, it is a long walk.

atiaxi · May 2013

My quest is in my signature

This is a very well written work. I liked reading it and playing it. I made a lot of notes, but really most of them are just minor spelling/grammar nits:

- A suspicious letter: Signed "You're loving Aunt" -> "Your loving Aunt"
-- I'm not used to seeing OOC text in first person, e.g. "I knew money was involved". Nothing wrong w⁬ith it if you're consistant, but it's usually done second person ("You knew money was involved"). (After playing for a while, it's growing on me. Feels more atmospheric)
-- "string you up from a yard arm" -> "yardarm". Also, yardarms are specific to ships, so even in that form it's a bit strange. "Gallows" may be what you're looking for there.

- Little buddy: "why don't they just go in and get Kurtz" needs a question mark"
-- "It is become clear" is somewhat awkward. "It has become clear"?
-- "It is alight, been there kid" response -> "It is alright"
-- "Buddy suddenly stopped crying. He backs up..." has a tense mixup. It should either be "suddenly stops crying" or "he backed up" to match.

- Huh, buddy got real brave real quick

- There's a typo on the objective description here, but I got jumped by spiders before I could write down what it was.

- Downstairs treasure chest is labeled "Super treasure chest 02"

- Chalendire: "you would not be the first evil sorcerous" -> "evil sorceress"
-- Nice of her to give me some backstory and not try to murder me. As a half-orc, this is even more interesting

- Bill Jo Jo and Doc Stockingface are already attacking neutrals before I even get an explanation. Like givearandomname, I found one of the baddies in a wall.

- Sgt. Harbel Gunderat: "I need to get to the knights Inn" -> "Knight's Inn"

- Finks and stinkypants are chasing NPCs around (as are a lot of others)

- Timmy "REd" Burns should probably be "red" or "Red"

- There's a lot of effects by Capt. Trillian. Cool looking, but heavy on the CPU

- Guards and civilians talk about ordering pizza and chinese. I know this is part of the humor, but it does seem kinda out of place

- Dungeon Entrance is labeled "Examine Dungeon Entrance" in the dialog, has default 'press F to interact'

- Is that a gallows in the inn? Ominous! (I like how I get to remark on it later)

- All the doors have default 'press F to interact'

- Horran Delve: "needing lodging? Bite ta eat." -> "Bite to eat?"
-- "I tolorate them as long as they keep there crimes" -> "I tolerate them as long as they keep their crimes"
-- "the sort of power the Kuros have. Contain with them" -> "the sort of power the Kuros have contain within them"

- Dungeon transition is a little awkward - hard to know where to go if you didn't notice the dungeon to begin with. You have to open the gate, then go in and then interact again. (And all interactions have default text)

- Oh ****, it's the real Marlow!

- I know I was warned about the prisoners, but that was a full-on jailbreak right there. I could handle it, but you mentioned this was meant as a solo adventure and that'll probably be near impossible at high levels.

- Chief Accountant: "Let me get strait to the point" -> "Let me get straight to the point"

- Attorny should be "Attorney"
-- "and your authority absolutely inferential" -> I'm not sure what the word "inferential" is doing there. "your authority absolute." would work.

- Male Pilgrim: "whispered a curse under her breath. She doesn't like being called" -> another tense conflict here, should either be "whispers" or "didn't".

- Chalendire: "Oh don't tell me they are coming to" -> "don't tell me they are coming too"

- Griffe: "I assume you work for the Commission and was sent here" -> "and were sent here"

- Miss Gosse: "MFumu, your standing" -> "you're standing"
-- "your not going to push me around" -> "you're not going to push me around"

- Door to my inn room has default label
-- Bed has default 'press F to interact', is labeled "invisible clicky sphere half 01"
-- "yelled for the crew to cast of the pillars" -> "cast off the pillars"

- This whole dream sequence is cool, but EVERYONE IS YELLING DRAMATICALLY AND THE EFFECT STARTS TO WEAR OFF AFTER A BIT

- Horran Delve: "No. Your lying" -> "You're lying"

- Fighting the knightmares with the traps is cool, but difficult. I'm even a rogue, but I can't disable traps in combat

- Marlow's Spirit: "She does the crystals bidding. The crystal will used her" -> "She does the crystal's bidding. The crystal will use her to try and stop you"

One final bit: The humor is a little strange, as I mentioned. It seems kinda out of place given the dark tone of the source material. I didn't notice it all that much, but what I did notice detracted from the experience. I don't think you really need it, the rest of everything stands up on its own.

tonylanglet · May 2013

I'll try your Foundery quest as soon as i get home from work today.

Name: Clan Peacebreaker rituals
Id: NW-DR6GFKXC4
Author: tonylanglet
Stage: Beta (Part of the full scale quest)

Any Feedback is appreciated, The story might need some changes and I'm glad to receive some examples of changes or ideas on how to improve it.

ovaltine74 · May 2013

I appreciate all the input from you guys. I am addressing much of the longer dialogue and spelling errors(Which I didn't think there was many of). I am also addressing the sailor fight so that it makes more sense. The sailors are killing the citizens, now it will be a kill quest. In addition to killing the officers, you will have to kill all the crew. I am placing some invisible walls up to keep hapless victims and sailors in the play area. I changed the dialogue for the Sgt. you speak to before the sailor fight and he informs you to ask the citizens near the inn if you are unable to find all the sailors. They will tell you that Capt. Trillian has barricaded himself behind the rubble. The last two of the crew (His Bodyguards) are in there with him. Hopefully if I have set up the invisible walls correctly, and you actually read the quest text, you will have no trouble finding all of them. (I did hide the boss on purpose.(Captain Trillian) I am not surprised someone didn't find him on the first try. Well now there are clues pointing you to the clues, and that is as much as I will hand hold)

As far as getting harder at higher levels. I have tested the fight with both high and low levels characters. The last fight is hard at high and low levels. But I put the respawn location somewhere generous. You just have to grind your way through it.

cudd1y · May 2013

Will try your quest asap and review.

Mine is NW-DPPHL5SJG

ovaltine74 · May 2013

One final bit: The humor is a little strange, as I mentioned. It seems kinda out of place given the dark tone of the source material. I didn't notice it all that much, but what I did notice detracted from the experience. I don't think you really need it, the rest of everything stands up on its own.

Think Army of Darkness.
I am sorry but if I am writing dialogue and something pops into my head that I think is funny. It goes in there. That is just my style.

ovaltine74 · May 2013

I am going to republish at 10am central with many of the major critiques resolved, so don't start the quest if you don't feel you can finish before then. Should be back up and ready to play again by 1030 central.

mrthebozer · May 2013

Hey ovaltine,

I'll give Stomach of Darkness a try in a few hours when I can get to the game. Also, I checked out your video preview - that was extremely cool.

My own quest is "Bonderleaf's Thorough Aggregator" (NW-DBFUDMT8L) - if you'd rather wait until after I've left my review, that's cool, but I figured I'd drop this here now while I have a moment.

ovaltine74 · May 2013

mrthebozer wrote: »

Hey ovaltine,

I'll give Stomach of Darkness a try in a few hours when I can get to the game. Also, I checked out your video preview - that was extremely cool.

My own quest is "Bonderleaf's Thorough Aggregator" (NW-DBFUDMT8L) - if you'd rather wait until after I've left my review, that's cool, but I figured I'd drop this here now while I have a moment.

I am doing my duty addressing the critiques from previous testers. But I will be on all day and I am sure I will get to yours. Going to start reviewing again at 1030 central

labmouse42 · May 2013

51 minutes seems like a very long adventure.
Is there a way you could break that down into 3 seperate adventures?

I would love to trade reviews, but I don't have that long to play an adventure. I think lots of people are in the same boat.

ovaltine74 · May 2013

labmouse42 wrote: »

51 minutes seems like a very long adventure.
Is there a way you could break that down into 3 seperate adventures?

I would love to trade reviews, but I don't have that long to play an adventure. I think lots of people are in the same boat.

It is not a short story, don't know what to tell you. There will be a second part at big as this one, and maybe a third. I am planning on making one mutha of a dungeon at the end of this. And part two will definitely have an encounter like no other. Not going to spoil it, but when you see it in the preview I release for it, you will want to try it.

ovaltine74 · May 2013

Okay fixed some major issues, will continue to work on the minor ones. It has been republished with the changes.

givearandomname · May 2013

went back and ran it again and had no problems once i understood were to look the only problem i had was in the nightmare inn the traps in the door are bit of a problem for some odd reason it bugged out on me twice were was perma rooted and had to sit there till i died. other then that was great story

on side note relized that the version of mine that was live was not the right version i reworked it the correct version with the expanded dialogue is now published if anyone would't mind giveing it a go would make my own post but they wont let me make posts for some odd reason. id is nw-dcjwwfvmd

ovaltine74 · May 2013

went back and ran it again and had no problems once i understood were to look the only problem i had was in the nightmare inn the traps in the door are bit of a problem for some odd reason it bugged out on me twice were was perma rooted and had to sit there till i died. other then that was great story

The spike trap in the doorway is a game glitch. It happened to me in another foundry mission. I made those doorway traps hard to avoid(wink, spacebar), but not impossible to avoid. Good thing though, the Knightmares have a huge knockback that will dislodge you if you are there long enough. Just pop a health potion and wait for it.

ovaltine74 · May 2013

Play part 1 of my foundry campaign "In Thrall to the God of Rage"
Name: Crumorn the Spiked
ID: NW-DCDX6KMED
Author: @atiaxi

Gave it a five. I thought technically the dialog structure was good. The conversation looped in and out and worked like you knew what you were doing. However I couldn't really get into the story. I guess it was because I knew the church was either going to betray me or I was going to betray them within the first two minutes of the quest. Little mystery or surprise. I still gave it a five star because I found little else wrong with the quest. The combat was well not very challenging, but given it is a story quest, I wasn't expecting it to be too difficult. I did make it hard on myself because I realized right before the final encounter that I only had one Health potion. So I did a lot of kiting. A couple of things I would change. The large brick teleport in the inn looks our of place. I would use the invisible sphere and make each end of the teleport look like it fits the environment. Second on the final encounter I would place the mobs and the NPCs on the same spot. When the NPCs disappear, they reappear as mobs twenty feet away. Nice detail in the town.

Further suggestion: use the invisible sphere teleport more often. The standard set of teleports you are given are used by everybody. Used the sphere instead so you can make unique looking teleports. The entire cave entrance was sparkling, and there was nothing around the cave entrance to make it look unique or less fake. Try slapping some random granite boulders around it to change the shape of it. You can make a decent cave using just boulders and the black out box behind it. That way your cave doesn't look like everyone else's in the game.

tonylanglet · May 2013

I've played your quest now, I like the story and the different environments and mobs.

Pro:
* One "problem" is that the dialogs are really really long and if you enter the quest with the mind of a somewhat slaughtering quest you are in for a supprise, This is a great story quest and something you might want to do alone and with a glass och wine.
* The costumes and names on every each NPC is a nice finish.
* The environment is nice but still might need some extra polishing.
* The boss fights were nice and challenging
* The transfer between areas were really nice

Con:
* Some parts of the quest was somewhat hidden and hard to find like one of the "boss" fights.
* Alot, alot of dialog.
* The guy at the gallow was jumping down the platform for some reason, might not be the way you wanted it?
* The "teleport" to the prison was kinda tricky to click on the correct one either the prison door or the teleport.

mrthebozer · May 2013

Hey ovaltine,

I got to Trillian's Crew in the City Streets map and could not progress. Killed 8 of 9 mobs but 9 will not spawn (or is spawning somewhere I cannot reach). A pair of enemies keep respawning at the end of the path, but defeating them does nothing for the objective. Don't have time to restart tonight so I'll have to hold off for a few days - in the meantime you might want to check out the placement of those mobs.

ovaltine74 · May 2013

Hey ovaltine,

I got to Trillian's Crew in the City Streets map and could not progress. Killed 8 of 9 mobs but 9 will not spawn (or is spawning somewhere I cannot reach). A pair of enemies keep respawning at the end of the path, but defeating them does nothing for the objective. Don't have time to restart tonight so I'll have to hold off for a few days - in the meantime you might want to check out the placement of those mobs.

It is working as intended. Better than intended actually. You are not the first. I added more clues to that part of the quest. I will add in the quest description the possibility of getting stuck if you skip through the dialogue.

The Sgt. you spoke with before you started said they might be hard to find but he also told you to ask the People by the Inn if you couldn't find them on your own. See what they have to say and I think you will find where the rest of them are.

* The "teleport" to the prison was kinda tricky to click on the correct one either the prison door or the teleport.

I will add to the mouse over prompt to step inside the cell and then click to enter. That should make it more clear.

mrthebozer · May 2013

Got it now - since this is spoilery I'll PM you real quick with the issue - but I did talk to the NPCs, I just misunderstood them.

Review for review, Playing foundry all day.

Comments