Build a fire for an Orc and he will be warm for a day, cast a fireball at him and he will be warm the rest of his life
"We killed the Dragon, We killed the Dragon.........we are never going to have girlfriends are we?"
This is a scroll of learning disability.......has yoo reed this sroll u will slows lose da abillytee to understood da writtin wood dfe das ddddfes fffeser sree................................................
Lets hear some of yours
Post edited by vatasha on
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vatashaMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Hero UsersPosts: 0Arc User
edited May 2013
Neverwinter is the only place you can say..............My GF is an ugly dwarf that causes all kinds of aggro and not have your girl friend kick your butt
So the party is climbing up a rope ladder to get out of the cavern system they'd been exploring for a couple of hours in-character. While climbing, gargoyles attack!
The Paladin: I draw my shield to bash any that get close and protect the ropes from being cut!
The Mage: I cast a sleep spell to knock one out so he plummets to his doom!
The Ranger: I draw my shortswords!
The Ranger rolled highest initiative, so he hit the bottom before the sleeping gargoyle.
-Rachel-
Great Weapon Fighter tanks? Who are you kidding? Cleric tanks. They draw -all- the aggro.
Neverwinter is the only place you can say..............My GF is an ugly dwarf that causes all kinds of aggro and not have your girl friend kick your butt
LOL I love that.
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thrishfishMember, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian UsersPosts: 13Arc User
Neverwinter guard manual: "In case of a red dragon attack, a soldier must hold his sword and shield with outstretched hands, so that molten metal does not drip on the soldier's boots."
An Elf, A Human, A Half Orc, and a Dwarf walk into a bar. Each orders their favorite drink and just as they're brought to the table a fly drops directly into each glass! A Vermimancer flees the scene...
The elf puts his napkin over his wine glass in disdain and huffs as he orders a new glass and demands it be served flyless and free.
The Human picks the fly out of his beer and drinks it without a qualm, much to the elf's disgust.
The Half Orc quaffs his bitter drink without pausing, swallowing the fly.
The Dwarf on the other hand picks the fly out of the dwarven spirits and thumps it on the wings with a fat finger, screaming:
"SPIT IT OUT, YE WEE *******!"
-Rachel-
Great Weapon Fighter tanks? Who are you kidding? Cleric tanks. They draw -all- the aggro.
While we're at it, "We killed the dragon! We killed the Dragon! We ... we're never going to have girlfriends, are we?"
Oh, so you want original jokes? Sheesh, you really need to get off your high horse, 99.9999% of jokes are not original. Both of those jokes were 10x funnier than anything else you laughed at.
A warrior comes home very drunk from the pub with a Duck under his arm, his wife answers the door "what's this?" The warrior replies "this is the dragon i've been shaggin'" The angry wife shouts "That is not a Dragon that is a duck" The warrior looks at her and says "I was talking to the duck!!!!!!!!!"
*STO*Its mission: To destroy strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations... and then kill them, to boldly annihilate what no one has annihilated before!
A horde of orcs is wandering through the countryside looking for towns to pillage when the chieftain spots a lone dwarf standing on a rocky outcropping atop a nearby hill.
The dwarf yells as loud as he can, "I am Bjorn Bjornson and I dare you to send your best warrior up here!"
The orc chieftain points at this best warrior and off he goes around the outcropping. The dwarf jumps down and the sounds of battle are heard. Seconds later the orc's head comes rolling down the hill.
The dwarf climbs back up and yells, "I am Bjorn Bjornson and I dare you to send your two best warriors up here!"
The orc chief points at his two best warriors and off they go. Moments later there are sounds of battle and then both orc heads come rolling down the hill.
The dwarf climbs back into view and yells again, " I AM BJORN BJORNSON AND I DARE YOU TO SEND YOUR 10 BEST WARRIORS UP HERE!!"
The orc chief waves and his 10 best warriors run around the outcropping. After a few seconds, all 10 heads come rolling down the hill.
The dwarf climbs bacl up on the outcropping and yells, "I AM BJORN BJORNSON AND I DARE YOU TO SEND YOUR 100 BEST WARRIORS UP HERE!!"
The orc chief motions and 100 orcs charge up the hill. The clash of weapons starts ringing down the hill and dozens of orc heads start bouncing across the ground.
Eventually, one orc comes running back down and starts screaming, "Boss, it's a trap! Dere's two of dem!"
*STO*Its mission: To destroy strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations... and then kill them, to boldly annihilate what no one has annihilated before!
Oh, so you want original jokes? Sheesh, you really need to get off your high horse, 99.9999% of jokes are not original. Both of those jokes were 10x funnier than anything else you laughed at.
No, I just thought it was funny that there was an identical post on another forum. And yes, why don't you keep telling me what I think is funny....
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drakedge2Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Hero UsersPosts: 0Arc User
edited May 2013
A joke with some famous last words...
A great and powerful wizard had just taken up a new apprentice, wanting to put a new spell into his spell book he looks over and says...
Comments
Imma teepee imma wigwam, imma teepee imma wigwam.
I said, relax man, you're two
The Paladin: I draw my shield to bash any that get close and protect the ropes from being cut!
The Mage: I cast a sleep spell to knock one out so he plummets to his doom!
The Ranger: I draw my shortswords!
The Ranger rolled highest initiative, so he hit the bottom before the sleeping gargoyle.
-Rachel-
Now there is a Bar Elf subrace.
-Rachel-
/char fixed for you
Taking a break from Neverwinter indefinitely...
You are seriously my favorite poster :-)
"In a cave." the parrot replies.
While we're at it, "We killed the dragon! We killed the Dragon! We ... we're never going to have girlfriends, are we?"
The elf puts his napkin over his wine glass in disdain and huffs as he orders a new glass and demands it be served flyless and free.
The Human picks the fly out of his beer and drinks it without a qualm, much to the elf's disgust.
The Half Orc quaffs his bitter drink without pausing, swallowing the fly.
The Dwarf on the other hand picks the fly out of the dwarven spirits and thumps it on the wings with a fat finger, screaming:
"SPIT IT OUT, YE WEE *******!"
-Rachel-
Oh, so you want original jokes? Sheesh, you really need to get off your high horse, 99.9999% of jokes are not original. Both of those jokes were 10x funnier than anything else you laughed at.
A horde of orcs is wandering through the countryside looking for towns to pillage when the chieftain spots a lone dwarf standing on a rocky outcropping atop a nearby hill.
The dwarf yells as loud as he can, "I am Bjorn Bjornson and I dare you to send your best warrior up here!"
The orc chieftain points at this best warrior and off he goes around the outcropping. The dwarf jumps down and the sounds of battle are heard. Seconds later the orc's head comes rolling down the hill.
The dwarf climbs back up and yells, "I am Bjorn Bjornson and I dare you to send your two best warriors up here!"
The orc chief points at his two best warriors and off they go. Moments later there are sounds of battle and then both orc heads come rolling down the hill.
The dwarf climbs back into view and yells again, " I AM BJORN BJORNSON AND I DARE YOU TO SEND YOUR 10 BEST WARRIORS UP HERE!!"
The orc chief waves and his 10 best warriors run around the outcropping. After a few seconds, all 10 heads come rolling down the hill.
The dwarf climbs bacl up on the outcropping and yells, "I AM BJORN BJORNSON AND I DARE YOU TO SEND YOUR 100 BEST WARRIORS UP HERE!!"
The orc chief motions and 100 orcs charge up the hill. The clash of weapons starts ringing down the hill and dozens of orc heads start bouncing across the ground.
Eventually, one orc comes running back down and starts screaming, "Boss, it's a trap! Dere's two of dem!"
A great and powerful wizard had just taken up a new apprentice, wanting to put a new spell into his spell book he looks over and says...
"Apprentice! Read me that fireball scroll..."
They just Arrrgghh.
"Rawwwr, I'm a monster."
- Who's there?
- A 3rd level wizard.
(LAAAAAAAME!)
That ending was brilliant.
Here is the red dragon interview http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Azcn84IIDVg