The camp and bandits

dugada · May 2013

Name: The Cry from the past
Name changed from The Camp and bandits
Autor: Dugada
Code: NW-DDJJA7X98
Solo foundry- with difficulty slider
Average time: 20 minutes
Amount of Combat: Normal to heavy (in hard mode)
Starts at: Protectors enclave
Type: story with lot of fights
eligible for daily!

Version 1.7!
-Changes in dialogues, fixed errors in grammar
-lot of new details

Thanks to Nokturnel for his help with grammar! I recommend you all to play his quest:
Protect the Caravan:
NW-DSVCX8LD4 - http://nw-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?257391-Protect-the-Caravan

Story
You heard, that one merchant camp near town has big problems with bandits from hills, so you deciced to take a look there, but you found only three people running from camp. Seems, that only these three people survived attack from hills. One of them really need your help, to find here daughter. What can happen, when you are trying to save someone with powerfull spell? Try this quest and you will see. This is a serious business here

Expect lot of fights, story, ancient magic, defending places and more. Not just casual story "talk, fight and talk"

dugada · May 2013

Version 1.3:
-New encounters
-New mode - hard
-New npc

flaminggnats · May 2013

Played and reviewed.

dugada · May 2013

Thanks for review:)

I made a big changes today, so If anybody has some time, pls review it and leave feedback (new map and lot of new objectives).
Thanks very much!

dugada · May 2013

Name changed to "The Cry from the past"
I am currently looking for someone, who will help me with my grammar mistakes in this quest.
Thanks

notaurious · May 2013

Reviewed.

4 Stars

Was fun. Lots of encounters, well balanced. Well-designed levels. I liked the concept and the story!

alucard060 · May 2013

Hey thanks for the review the other day on my foundry mission! To return to the favor I have played through yours twice and have a review in return.

Okay to start I really enjoyed the story you were trying to tell! I thought you came up with some very creative ideas although there were several things I found that in my opinion could use some improving.

1) The icon on the world map "Camp of merchants" is covering the icon for the zone "Helms Hold" I recommend moving it slightly.
2) The objective "Clear camp and Kill Bandits" is set to complete when you reach the area, but there are still bandits alive. Instead of having it set to reach the area I think it should only give you completion once all bandits groups have been killed.
3) The Archer that you place after talking to the Captain seems to disappear before actually doing any combat. It would be nice to see him fighting alongside you.
4) The captain seemed to jump when he spawned at several different times during the mission. I am not sure if his Y axis is too high or if that is a humans normal spawn animation.
5) I believe there was a quest step called "Walk to child" I don't believe it is necessary to have that in there. Just the Talk to Ithy quest would have been fine since she is standing right next to the child.
6) While in the Past and also when returning to the present the "Hawk" next to the Druid is called "Deathstrike Hawk Companion" while it should just be called "Hawk"
7) When you enter interspace along the first hall there are a few pillars of blue light that seem to go through the rock ledges. I think adjusting them would be an improvement.
8) I am not sure if this is able to be fixed or if it is part of the map, but there are 2 invisible pillars on the bridge in each of the soul chamber rooms. If you can't remove the pillars then maybe adding debris or something to the bridge to cover those spots would be good.
9) The bandit gladiator and the Lord of interspace appear immediately after talking to the npc. It would be nice if you could see them before talking to the npc. Perhaps put npc's that look like them there and remove them when you are done talking to the quest giver.
10) The chest at the end of the quest seemed to be in a weird spot, perhaps moving it closer to the druid tent might seem more natural?
11) After returning to the present I don't remember seeing the small child at the druid camp. It would be nice to see her standing there with her mother.
12) It was very clear that English was not your first language. I didn't let that affect my rating though as that is something you aren't able to fix on your own and you need other people to help you with it.

Overall I gave it 4 stars, well done!

A few things that I thought were really cool were.
1) Stepping into the fire was really neat. I thought the spell effects were well done.
2) The past being black and white was a neat idea.
3) I enjoyed the interspace area very much. It was an extra zone I was not expecting, but I found very interesting!
4) The soul canister spell effects were excellently done!

nokturnel · May 2013

Hey dugada just finished up your quest.

The story was understandable but there were lots of grammatical errors. I understand it's because you're not a native english speaker and I could fix those up for you if you want, just copy all the dialogue into a .txt document or word document (or just use google docs) and I'll fix it all up. If you don't have a place to link the dialogue to, I'll message you with my e-mail.

Other than that it was well designed but could probably use some more details inside the Interspace area.

dugada · May 2013

Thanks for your reviews guys, I really appreciate it.
Yeah, my english is very bad..
Nokturnel, thanks for your help, I will try it and upload link somewhere, that would be a great help! Thanks!

And also Alucard, thanks for your notes, will look at that;)

dugada · May 2013

I sent you a pm Nokturnel

dugada · May 2013

Added more details and stuff to maps
Few changes in dialogues
fixed mirror bugs

tabris82 · May 2013

Very nice original story, i had a blast.

The whole time consequence dillema was nicely done.

The only issue here is with the english. There are many mistakes but i am not the best person to help you with that.

I would also move the zone icon a bit because it stands on top of helms hold.

Some mobs scream kill everything instead of everyone, which is wierd.

The druid refers to herself as old women, i am not sure if it was intended as it made me feel as if it was a placeholder.

The whole dialog need a bit of work, but after that it will become awesome. Very nice use of effects!

Gave it 4/5, will replay after the the dialog and a bit more ready and surely give it a 5

well done.

nokturnel · May 2013

Hey dugada, sry I didn't see your PM earlier, this forum doesn't really notify people very well when they get a message lol.

I'm working on the translation/grammer fixes now. It might take me awhile to finish it up but I'll leave a post here when I'm finished and PM you the link.

nokturnel · May 2013

I just finished up editing your google document, I took a few liberties with the wording but I stayed true to the story. It should definitely be easier to read and understand for native English speaking players.

(I sent you a PM with the link, if it didn't work, reply here. I have saved it as a word document which I can send to you.)

dugada · May 2013

Once again, thank you

I edited story and now it should be published, without big grammatical errors.
And I also edited my first post

nokturnel · May 2013

Hey dugada, I ran your quest again. To make sure I got all the grammatical errors, I found a good amount that I missed and sent you them in 2 PMs. (Character limit made me divide them)

I've been told English is a hard language to learn and I completely understand. A lot of the mistakes are just that you didn't add "the" before you reference a specific noun. In the English language whenever you refer to a specific person/place/thing you usually place "the" before it. I know that a lot of other languages don't do that.

I also like the changes you made to Interspace, the effects are really cool, but the 2 Chambers. The one with Ithy's Soul and the one with the Player's soul could use some more details as well, for example some effects on the outside of the circle.

Looking great otherwise.

dugada · May 2013

Thank you very much!
My english is bad because I learn only from games, tv shows and books sometimes. I had very bad english in school and have to learn it on my own and that is quite hard.
But I really appreciate your help!

kelvedon · May 2013

Hi, I just played your quest and left a 5 out of 5 star review. (Played on Kelv4 - my low level test account). This is a fantastic quest and I recommend it to everyone who wants something different from your normal hack and slash.

I couldn't click on the signpost at the begining - it was out of line of sight, no matter where I stood. I couldn't find the hard/easy mode - maybe it was the signpost.

I liked the different atmospherics - the forest storm, the b/w in the time change and finally all the effects in the huge chamber at the end. They all worked very well. You have put a lot of effort into this quest and it shows.

I did find one piece of dialogue where Ithy was spelled Ithey, but thats the only bit of spelling I noticed.

Would you mind please testing and reviewing my quest. Details are in my sig below.

Cheers
Kelv

dugada · May 2013

Sure, will look on your quest.
That signpost is reachable only if you jump - I will probably change it to normal.

What do you mean by "your normal hack and slash"?:P Now I have only two quests avaible

But I am very happy that you like my quest!:)

kelvedon · May 2013

dugada wrote: »

What do you mean by "your normal hack and slash"?

Sorry, a misunderstanding. I meant THE normal hack and slash dungeon, not YOUR. I was referring to a generic THE hack and slash dungeon. You know: Move forward, kill mobs, move forward, kill mobs......get to end and get treasure.

Cheers
Kelv

dugada · May 2013

Its okay:) Yeah, I want to make only quests with good stories.

Btw, thanks to all who tried my quest and thanks for all your reviews! It is quite amazing to see that you like my quest!
I will make another foundry soon, so hope that ppl will play it:)

darkanind · May 2013

Pros: Absolutely loved the atmosphere and the use of special effects, it made it look amazing. Loved the time travel and the effects used there, too.

Cons: Past tense used in some chats broke my immersion. There was a floating bush near the bandit hideout. It was pretty difficult for a level 41 DPS cleric. I died once, and chugged a lot of potions.

Overall, it was pretty good! Minor tweaks will take this further! Good job!

br0dyman · May 2013

Hey Dugada,

Really enjoying it. I thought it was really well done.

When you're in the past world, and the bandits attack. I would have them spawn further back and have them patrol. Them spawning right there kinda ruins the great detail you've put into this map.

I did the mission on hard. I noticed a lot of the mobs have the same skillset. A bit more diversity would be nice. Like in the interspace area.

I had a hard time coming up with things that I didn't find good about your mission. One thing I might say as a super polish is move the buildings/rocks/decorations so they don't interfere with the quest path. One of the earlier quest paths goes through a building, so it seems like you're headed into the building. It's super minor.

dugada · May 2013

Thanks for your notes
That problem with buildings/rocks/decorations - its about map -I can move only houses

About bandits - most of them have patrol but lot of people complained about fact that they had to wait for them..So I changed they path a little bit to shorter

Thanks for trying it on hard - I will look on my encounters and change them a little bit:)

The camp and bandits

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