[Feedback] The Legend of Snowmane

moondawg13 · April 2013

You start your adventure In Search of the Legend in a small hamlet on the eastern edge of the Neverwinter Wood.

White Lake, a small hamlet, was settled by common folk interested in developing the land, raising livestock, crops, and families. Those who have raised any of the preceding know the perils and heartbreak, pleasures and heroism of those who toil at the labors required. This story centers around one of those families.

The original settlers came from hearty stock, folks from the Northlands, tired of the ever winter, the blizzards and famine. They travelled southward toward hope, a small band of sixteen souls seeking solace in the promise of a new beginning, a new land, a new start. That journey was not an easy one; the path to hope was blocked by evil and despair.

Jake Maonaigh the clan leader, with his wife Claire, their children Michael, and Sylvan, cobbled together a band of twelve other folk from the northlands. There was Robert of Omjar and his family, Myra, his wife, twin boys, and two girls, and the newly married Kevin and Krista Coinne eager to get away from their battling parents, Neville the Tinker, a free soul, whose hands could craft anything, from the simple utility of a cooking pot to the gentle delicate jewelry maidens desired. The Boirenn brothers, Deven and Declan, constantly fighting and constantly drunk, never knowing why, were strapping men who did most of the heavy work required in keeping the wagons repaired. And there was the aged Tovan of Armagh, a bard of sorts, who kept the others inspired with his tales of fantasy, and songs of wonder. The children sat in awe around the campfire as he told tales of creatures that were neither bird nor beast, but both!

This unlikely company suffered the hardships of travel to the southland, and enjoyed the fellowship of those with a common purpose. Battling blizzards in the north, slogging through swamps in the midlands, fighting through dense forests in the uplands, the haggard, hopeful party reached a clearing, came upon a small rise and saw in the distant panorama, the place they all knew they would soon call home.

As the morning mist, which veiled the valley below, slowly lifted they stood in wonder at the sight of the most awe striking landscape ever to reach their collective eyes. The mist over the lake was the color of a unicorn's coat. The zephyr that blew in from the east slowly moved the shroud of lace-like fog from the surface of the lake, to reveal a glassy reflection that was marred only by occasional ripples.

Photo credit: @Bobcat1313

bardurnon · May 2013

Hey moondawg,

I enjoyed your quest a lot. I particularly liked the allusive, mythical nature of the storyline, which makes me want to play further along the campaign to find out more. 5 STARS.

The quest really doesn't need much done to it, but I'll list things that I noted while playing through below;

STORY: I liked the depth of the side characters (the villagers) in the first part of the quest. I found myself wanting to know a bit more about the quest's antagonists, however. Why did Canis Invictus steal the book? For what purpose are the gnolls forming an alliance? Who are they forming an alliance with? Who is Canis' wife? Maybe this will come to light later on in the quests, or maybe I overlooked some of the lore.
DIALOG: Well done. Good interaction. Fluid conversations. Really great stuff. A small point, I would mention is that Claire's speech on the Legend of Snowmane seems more suited to written form, rather than being spoken. It came across as an over the top way of describing the myth to an interested stranger.
COMBAT: Well balanced. Perfect. I particularly enjoyed the ogre barmaid, the black widow, and the boss fights.
LEVEL DESIGN: Great design work for a long dungeon. It certainly kept me interested the whole way through. You could cut a few filler rooms out to make the quest shorter overall if you wanted. One point I would say is to add locked doors/invisible walls to prevent the curious player from wandering off too far into the dungeon where they shouldn't be yet.
EFFECTS: High quality all round, particularly during the boss fights. Stumbling in the darkness was very well done. The only room that I would say needed some tinkering would be the gnoll pub (just spend 5 minutes 3D editing the candles and lamps).

Hope that helps,

moondawg13 · May 2013

Thanks Bard. I agree with the one door to the Boss area I am fixing that not to open until you trigger the search for the Boss. Well since you killed Canis's wife, you are never going to know. Maybe it wasn't his wife after all...

[Feedback] The Legend of Snowmane

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