Welcome, I will be more than happy to review foundry quests in exchange for review and feedback of my campaign and side quests. Please make sure you can take the time to enjoy the dialog and story placed in my campaign as I will do the same for you.
- I will only give constructive and helpful feedback and appreciate the same in kind.
When reviewing, keep in mind I have no control over the faerie dust lines (quest lines) and sound may also not work. (sound seems to work now, but it still may be buggy.)
Campaign -
The Vileforge: NWS-DEMAWGFJS
Chapter 1 - Blood Soaked Silver: NW-DPZ5JW5IO
- Recently Updated
Chapter 2 - Where The Vile Things Are: WIP
Side Quest -
The Tunnel Of Love: NW-DFVGI2QME
99% combat, 1% love.
To Be Reviewed:
- Darkwater Rising: NW-DJ2KG9JBA
-Reviewed 3/5
- The Gauntlet: NW-DMR6AERHD
-Reviewed 1/5
- A small dwarvish grudge: NW-DUI8A8I7R
-Reviewed 4/5
- Conflict between sworn enemies (Campaign): NWS-DB3HIQPRH
- It started with a burglary: NW-DJOQ5M8WI -Reviewed 3/5
- Then it became friendly: NW-DCNI8I4G4 - Reviewed 4/5
- Crumorn the Spiked: NW-DCDX6KMED
-Reviewed 5/5
- The Epic: Secrets of Shiganshina: NW-DFJR2DOH6
-Reviewed 4/5 (I like the dota reference!)
- D&D Red Box Campaign: NWS-DCS2HQ27J
-unable to find
Update: Sorry i've been out for a while. I will be reviewing the last few foundry quests on my list within the next day. thanks to all who supported this thread.
Comments
Update: Left you a tip and 3/5 stars.
I am looking forward to the rest of the story. Once you get the maps detailed and correct some little things like when you go into the second instance of the city you left the "Duplicate" tag on the title, I'll give you another star.
That last star would probably come from correcting some encounter issues. When you had the NPCs standing by, the enemies would focus fire on them initially so I could pick and choose the fight apart. I would suggest making them "temporarily" disappear until we have the option to make them untargettable so the player can get the full brunt of the attack.
For your records if you are interested in balancing the combat: I was able to solo the quest with a 38 Cleric and I would consider it Challenging (in a good way!)
Really awesome start! Can't wait for the second chapter and to learn more about the Vileforge.
Darkwater Rising - LIVE! (NW-DJ2KG9JBA)
Waves of Deception - Under Construction!
Crashing Tides - Under Construction!
Author: @Wayolen
Short Code: NW-DMR6AERHD
Author: @Wayolen
Short Code: NW-DMR6AERHD
Blood Soaked Silver
* The pretext seems somewhat flimsy - why are the guards having me stop something so ostensibly peaceful? Especially when there are snake-eye bandits around who are demonstrably doing worse stuff
* The blood-soaked-silver ritual is cool - nice descriptions there too.
* Earning the cultists' trust came quickly, but I felt it justified
* As the other review mentioned, the friendly NPCs tend to soak up damage for me, which is probably not the intent.
* I was almost buying the line about cultist being good guys until the dwarf said he was going to 'take care of' abbot
* Why are the bandits out in force after I kill their leader? I got jumped by people the moment I exited the hideout. Maybe have the encounters activate after the guard captain says there's a power vacuum?
* Snake-eye gang takeover seems like a sudden shift - guard leader's not worried I'll blow my cover?
* That is a /lot/ of traps. Good thing I'm a rogue
* Despite the fact that the cult was tending evil, I didn't see the Big Bad Guy coming
* Talbert talks about his mission at the end in first person "I must find and destroy it". It would be nice if he'd include me
* Ayeseelia seems like a distraction rather than anything substantive. Why are we still talking about the gang when there's a vileforge to destroy?
The Tunnel of Love
* Wow, I love this plot. The right amount of crazy and fun.
* What's the deal with the were-rats? They get very repetitive after a while (unlike the other groups).
* Having made a cavern map myself, I know what a pain in the *** it is to get them to look not terrible. That said, there are a lot of places where I could have fallen to my doom. (That may be intentional, in which case, disregard)
* The cave -> crypt transition is jarring (they don't line up vertically, there's a strange rock lip between the two). Having attempted to do the same thing on my previously mentioned cave, I can attest to the fact that cave-themed teleporters work much better
* In the Keymaster room, there are two traps right next to the lower east wall - are they there by mistake? I doubt anyone's going to wander there, I only noticed because I'm a rogue
* In order to start the ritual, I had to click on something labeled "Invisible clicky shphere half 01"
* My favorite of the evil exes were "Too drunk to remember" and "Barney Stinson"
* Soooooo much combat! I can't recall if this was in the description, but if not, it really needs to be.
Soloed it on my level 6 (now level 8) TR
My foundry campaign "In Thrall to the God of Rage":
Crumorn the Spiked: NW-DCDX6KMED
Nerisatis the Cold: NW-DNIEWE95D
A small dwarvish grudge: NW-DUI8A8I7R
A solo adventure. Story and combat, come humor.
A Small Dwarvish Grudge: NW-DUI8A8I7R
The Brink of Disaster: NW-DFDJKW9QF (Still in beta)
- I'm not a fan of combat oriented quest and this was one of them. For me it was just tedious to get to the next objective, but I was alone. So it is very recommended to go with a pal or two. I almost finished it, but gave up on the last (mindflayer) battle. I just couldn't take any more fights.
The first quest of the campaign I enjoyed, but still thought that there was too much combat and for solo play encounter stacking is wrong. Especially those in the base and the tavern. Too many mobs at the same time, BOOM and you're dead. Overall good story and too bad for the hafling.
Now about both - items. Do not use items if they're aren't going to be used in the next map (for example as a side quest to open a door). It just takes unnecessary space. Use Interact with Object or Component Completed.
If you're willing, please review my quest. Links are in my signature. Please comment them in their threads.
It started with a burglary
Then it got friendly
But it ended badly
thanks, this is really helpful for the campaign quest. as far as the pretext goes, it is a bit flimsy until the captain talks about the snake-eyes in the 3rd act. he's basically explaining that the snake-eyes aren't a real problem... it's charter who makes them seem troublesome. also, it's intended that the first encounter is attacking the npcs. and don't worry about talbert's mission... just wait until chapter 2 =p
oh and ayeseelia's plot is going to be... special.
the tunnel of love was kind of thrown together in a day, i play tested it a few times but the difficulty was intended to be high. it might feel grindy to some but that's ok. it's just supposed to be an odd premise with a weird story. if it gets popular enough i intend on making a few more side quests involving the lonely man lol.
again thanks for the review, i'll be starting my reviews shortly.
thanks for the review, this will help me smooth things out. I added some extra mobs because the difficulty was non-existent before. perhaps i went too far, but honestly i enjoy a challenge because it makes the story feel more "real" i guess. Im not sure what you mean items exactly, do you mean the key in "the tunnel of love"? it's simply intended to control the flow of the quest so it doesnt feel like go to point A, kill things, go to point B kill things. maybe it's just how i prefer stories and quests to be. I'm glad you enjoyed parts of it, I'll do my best to make it more friendly to a larger audience but i wont be able to please everyone in every way lol.
I'll be starting reviews shortly. thanks again!
awesome, thanks heaps! i'll review you quest soon.
It started with a burglary
Then it got friendly
But it ended badly
this is quite helpful, thanks. I'm really glad you enjoyed the story. as for the map name, i honestly didn't even think it could be seen anywhere lol, shows what i know. and the npcs are supposed to be attacked by the theives at the beginning, their thives trying to steal money, at that time they don't even know who you are. I'll try and make that a bit more clear in the dialog with the recruiter.
I'll review your quests soon. thanks again!
oh i see, well to be fair it's one key that gets used up shortly after, but i understand the meaning now. I'll make sure to keep this in mind in the future, thanks!
Darkwater Rising: NW-DJ2KG9JBA
-Overall a good quest. for the start of it, i'm not given a very convincing reason to get involved, it's all so mysterious Im not sure why I should help.
-When i was supposed to avenge the woodsman i had to run around a bit before i could find all the encounters for the quest, perhaps bring them a bit closer together, the encounters arent particularly difficult.
-Thebius the terrible didnt seem too terrible... first thing i see him doing is cowering to some easy mobs, perhaps the mob is supposed to spawn when you fight him. basically, i didn't fear him at all, i feel like he should be a bigger deal, maybe not tho.
-I like the little town you made but it feels a bit empty, there's plenty of npc's walking around but it just doesn't feel lived in (just being nit picky really). also, anura's dialog is a bit hard to follow. Im still not sure what im supposed to be accomplishing when i enter the cave.
-Again, the cave feels very empty, the webs are a good touch but perhaps try using the "populate" function when you right click a room in the map editor, it can help add details (deeper in the cave the webs are really awesome).
-double check the dialog with anura after you leave the cave, you might have missed a word lol. also, im supposed to hunt down deadpaw but why? anura doesn't mention him, just the captains, maybe i missed something, or perhaps its explained in the extended dialog. Maybe make the tasks more clearly explained. I liked the challenging fight against him.
-double check some of the mobs near deadpaw, i think a hulk has the wrong model, also there is some ground debris that's floating in the air on the hill where the campfire is.
-the encounter with blake of darkwater is a bit hard to find (not your fault, the trail kind of leads into some rocks) maybe re-position him to help with that. also, when i fight his injured self, he's just as strong. if he's injured wouldnt he be weaker? just a thought.
-I like that it's much more challenging later on, it was a bit slow at first but that's not necessarily a bad thing. the final act felt very long, perhaps too long and repetitive.
-the final battle was very chaotic, i think you were trying to make it feel epic or something but it's just confusing.
-overall i liked the story, tho i wasn't entirely sure why i was doing the things i was doing but i could have missed something along the way.
- WOW.....it's a shame the servers went down right as i was about to review it... wow, just wow. worst possible timing. i dont think i'll run it again because it felt too long (a bit tedious). ofc, if you post an updated version i'll probably give it another go. sorry about that, i kinda feel bad.
-i give it 3/5, mainly for a lot of small reasons mentioned already. it has some great potential tho if you keep touching it up i bet it could be really awesome.
I hope you don't think im being too critical, i basically wrote this as i played your mission so i kinda typed out my thoughts as i went along. as a whole, it's a fine quest, so keep working at it.
-I was trying to make the mood feel secretive before you start the quest and emphasize the importance of keeping the mission secret before hand. I will look into rewording the dialogue a bit to expound on that.
-Avenge the Woodsman: I used the "area" indicator to try and focus the player to the mobs needed to advance the quest. I populated the map with other encounters just for flare and to feel occupied by the force.
-Therius the Terrible: I originally had the fight a much a bigger encounter but in later levels it gets to be really tough. He is sort of a landmark in the quest but not a boss per se. I need to fix the mobs you mentioned before hand. They ARE supposed to spawn with him, not before you talk to him.
-I didn't even realize there was a "populate" button somewhere. I'll have to try that out for the village and the caves to add a bit more life to them.
-Arunar does mention why you should hunt down Deadpaw and Blake in the extended dialogue.
-I've been struggling with the final battle against Syntav. I did want it to feel epic (as well as the final dungeon crawl). Arunar mentions at the beginning of the dungeon she would aid you in the final battle, that's why the spirits spawn to assist in the final battle. Maybe I will add Arunar as a dialogue option before the last fight to clarify that "This is it. I will assist you now." Or something to that effect.
Too bad you didn't get to the review section. Thanks anyway for the remarks.
Darkwater Rising - LIVE! (NW-DJ2KG9JBA)
Waves of Deception - Under Construction!
Crashing Tides - Under Construction!
-first thing i noticed was the gate you spawn next to has the default blue behind it. i would suggest you go into the map editor and put in one of the other backgrounds.
-when does this end? this is becoming quite boring. it's just one big health pot soaking quest.
-im about 10 minutes in and i don't really feel like finishing it.
-and i died... because i ran out of healing pots, and now im way back here and have to run through an big empty tunnel... this is not fun. its just one big grind with no purpose so far.
-why am i doing this gauntlet, why do i want to join this clan. if you had the starting npc say, "help there's undead in the tunnels, go kill them" that would at least give me a real purpose. so far i'm not enjoying my time, sorry to say.
-its good that you've changed the models for the encounters, thats good practice. however, its literally kill kill kill. this is not a fun formula. i would really like some context or some kind of plot progression here.
-god gamnit, the faerie dust took me in the wrong direction, so no i have to run double the distance (not your fault necessarily, but it could be avoided with a dynamic map. this map makes me not want to keep going, no sense of exploration just more kill kill coming...)
-and the end is me running through another lone tunnel with half naked npc's that speak a single short sentence each... what? annnndd i died again. wow.... now i have to run through the whole bloody place AGAIN....
-the smoke in the tunnels just makes me not want to play it anymore, it has no purpose except to annoy me. also keep in mind, not every computer can handle rendering that much smoke. mine had trouble. this is gonna make some ppl just quite in the spot. (i almost did).
-please dont take any of this persoanlly, i'm not trying to be mean or cruel. this quest by the name alone had me very interested, but after almost 15 minutes of killing stuff in a tunnel, i'm very very very bored. this is tedious and not fun, and i doubt most pplk will finish it simply because the foundry gives such little xp so there's literally no point for ppl to complete your quest. you need to give it some substance, dont just use endless encounters, its just not fun.
-suggestions: research some stuff, find out how tv shows or movies do gauntlet type scenarios. you could have puzzles, and traps, and mazes. remove the smoke, its just plain annoying. it doesnt add atmosphere or make it feel scary or more difficult, its just a pain. the smoke drops my frame rate, and makes the game even less enjoyable. (i literally feel like you're trolling me with this quest.)
- please dont think im trying to be mean but this was bad. very bad. its a health pot soaking, frustrating mess of a quest. it's just not fun, there is no pay off for my efforts. just kill stuff... a lot of stuff... the only reason i completed this quest was out of courtesy. i highly doubt anyone would willing complete this quest unless they had a group and didn't care that xp in foundries is abysmal.
-overall, it felt like a lazy attempt at... something... i sorry but i had to give this 1 star, i didnt even want to finish it.
I know you gave me a really nice review, so please accept my criticism as simply one foundry builder to another. your quest just didnt have any life to it or purpose. its a good practice but was needlessly long and tedious. i hope you keep trying new things.
NW-DFJR2DOH6 - The Epic: Secrets of Shiganshina
Campaign -D&D Red Box Campaign[COLOR=NWS-DCS2HQ27J
Chapter I First Encounter: NW-DALZWIS9L
Chapter II The Twisting Halls: NW-DHELEPLXV
Please be gentle. Constructive criticism is welcome. Flaming and trolling isn't. I will search for and review as many quests as i can.
-i like the starting dialog. it's gotten me interested!
-OOPS! i went out the exit with the two dwarves standing next to it(i was just exploring and didnt realize it was the exit) and it took me back to the enclave, lol. not sure what you can do about that except make the door non-intractable. i now have to drop the quest and restart it because i can no longer go to the metalsmith's shop, lol my bad.
-fun little market place, but perhaps put a few more npc's in the actual market area shopping and stuff, might add more life to it.
-inside the metalwork's shop, there are doors on the walls (furnaces?) with a starck white behind the doors. just seems a bit off. not sure what you can do about it, or if it matters. just an observation, no points lost lol.
-the ambushes sort of casually walk up to me and i can engage them before they start fighting me, didn't feel like much of an ambush lol.
-ok did i miss something? the quest told me to return to the enclave... then, nothing. the quest was no longer in my journal. is this the end of the quest?
-was not able to rate or complete this quest. not sure what happened...
BIG EDIT: the quest came back up on my journal. possibly had too many quests in my journal and it was hidden.
-it would be nice if the papers actually appeared on the desk.
-your quest really messed with my journal and other quest markers for some reason. totally not your fault but maybe not this in the description to avoid confusion.
-set a background for the caves. the default shows blue through the cracks in the walls. sort of distracting.
-at the graveyard, the sarcophagus is not level with the ground. just a cosmetic issue.
-overall a pretty solid quest. 4/5
That happens from time to time, it's an annoying bug on Cryptic's side. If the server is busy when you re-enter protector's enclave then it sometimes looses track of the quest. Real annoying and not sure how to work around this. Please try again.
BTW thanks for the abort exit comment. I only recently figured out how to make abort exit warnings and I'm adding that into maps where sudden unexpected exits are a problem.
A Small Dwarvish Grudge: NW-DUI8A8I7R
The Brink of Disaster: NW-DFDJKW9QF (Still in beta)
My foundry campaign "In Thrall to the God of Rage":
Crumorn the Spiked: NW-DCDX6KMED
Nerisatis the Cold: NW-DNIEWE95D
-interesting start, an actually narrator. also, check some of the dialog, might have missed a word or two.
-premise is a bit flimsy. who is cyric? why is he important? i'd like to know more. a reward isn't enough of a reason for some players.
-i'm disapointed. the narrator tells me i do all these things (fight bandits and find a map, etc..). isnt that what the foundry is for? make me do those things... i don't want to read about my exploits if i havent done them.
-i'm not entierely sure that the DM is necessary. the environments should speak for themselves... that's kind of the point of have a dnd game with graphics. i'm sure if you want this as a traditional campaign it would be really awesome. i just dont think the narrations are needed.
-im confused, am i fighting bandits or cultists? (nvm, this gets answered. it makes sense.) also, the archers are throwing axes at me... not a real problem but it does stand out.
-the encounters are easy, but i dont think it's meant to be a challenge.
-again, the DM sort of ruins the experience. the whole point of playing this game is that we can see what's happening. it takes away from the experience, because i feel like i missed all these cool scenes. maybe you werent sure how to make the scenes or something. i did however notice that the DM looks imilar to the DM from that old dnd cartoon. so points for nostalgia.
-overall i liked the story but again the narrator is just in the way. i want you to tell the story with visuals. it's just not as fun if im being told what i did and how i did it.
a fun little adventure. i liked the little twist at the end with the mage. 3/5 stars. i would easily give 4 or maybe 5 if you had the actual events play out instead of someone telling me (i would strongly suggest you rethink the DM, he doesnt really add anything to this).
also, forgive me but the review window never came up. not sure why, i stood there waiting. perhaps it bugged out. i would be very happy to run this again but only if you remove the DM.
-oh boy, that DM again lol.
-OH this is so cool! my choices mattered form the last campaign. very very awesome. +2 stars just for that. it makes the DM's presence make more sense now, but my issues with the DM still stand as far as story telling goes, i want to experience everything instead of being told some parts. anyway, maybe im being too critical. it's a fun idea. (i didn't think my choices mattered in the last quest, maybe try to make that a bit clearer.)
-i kinda want the DM room to be more... epic.
-same as your last quest, you missed a few words in the dialog so things are a bit confusing sometimes. I would suggest you have a friend or family member read over everything so they can point out any flaws. its hard to notice your own flaws when your brain just fills in the gaps without telling you lol.
-im not sure if im supposed to be able to go back into the DM room. there's a sparkly thing next to the door that lets me do just that.
-"there is a lever behind a painting", there is no painting on the wall.
-a real dungeon crawl experience, no pretty line showing me where to go. i like it. the map isnt confusing so this works very well.
-great separating of mobs. lizards in the ater, rats in the tunnels. i like this subtle touch.
-RIDDLES! awesome, but the orbs has its default name lol. "village crystal ball 01". common mistake so no points lost because the riddles are fun.
-the sergeant was very easy, easier than the previous mobs
-keep in mind that loot drops often so bag space isn't easy to come by. i now have three quest items taking up a slot of their own. you could use the complete component function instead of needing an item. maybe.
- what a twist! i like it! after you fight esmael the quest tells me to leave but leads to a door i cant pass through. i had to go back to the ladder, you can set the quest to send me to it and just name it the same or something similar in the story view.
-after you talk to sothar there might be something missing? it says to check around but there isnt anything.
also, im HAMSTER. i moved before the review window came up... they really need to fix that, it shouldnt just disapear. ill have to run through it again later and give you the proper review. 4/5, this was fun and had a good plot. only lost a star because the narator feels unnecessary but i'm prolly being picky.
1) The "Tavern", since I'm pretty sure your actual name for it is censored in the forums, could use some more light, especially up stairs.
... and that's it. It's a pretty neat little adventure. I'm looking forward to the next part.
A Small Dwarvish Grudge: NW-DUI8A8I7R
The Brink of Disaster: NW-DFDJKW9QF (Still in beta)
Thank you for the review.
It started with a burglary
Then it got friendly
But it ended badly
i think yes and no. seeing as you're the only one i've seen use a DM or narrator i could argue you don't need it, but i get that you're wanting to create cut scenes which isnt possible (yet?). the issue i had with the narration was when i traveled through the forest, he explained how i slew some enemies and such. why not just have me do those things? that's really what bothered me. telling me things i did, that could be shown to me. also, you can create sequences by using the "appear/disappear when" functions if you can be crafty enough lol. don't take my oppinion to harshly tho overall it was a very fun experience, its just, i didn't enjoy the parts with the DM.
It started with a burglary
Then it got friendly
But it ended badly
well to be fair... its better to do "tavern" stuff in the dark =p
It started with a burglary
Then it got friendly
But it ended badly
i'll check it out for sure!