[UGC] Campaign: A Dark Heart, Part I: "Duskmoor and the Pit"

valkyryja · May 2013

Hey everyone.
I wanted to post my Foundry quest now that I'm finally finished with it. It is searchable by name now. If you're interested, any plays and ratings are greatly appreciated.

Campaign code: NWS-DTFFM8VP6
Subscription name: dthorsson

(Thread in the Foundry Spotlight forum.)

_______________________________________
Description:

After Rosie Duskmoor's husband, George, died both suddenly and mysteriously, she spared no expense desperately seeking answers. At last, she found a seeress who, after relieving Rosie of her and her late husband's entire lives' wealth, gave her an answer; George had been sucked into the pit one of the Nine Hells, the reason unknown.

Desperate to confirm this gut-wrenching news and to seek answers as to why her poor George had been wronged so, Rosie has pledged her last possession, a priceless family heirloom, to the hero so brave as to venture into the Nine Hells to find her George.

NOTES

* This is NOT a kill-a-thousand-enemies-to-instantly-gain-five-levels quest.
* The focus is on STORY with MEDIUM combat.
* Challenging solo, easy with a group of two.
* I can't control loot, resource nodes, enemy abilities and scaling, etc.

* Please feel free to leave constructive feedback.
* Thank you. I hope you enjoy!

valkyryja · May 2013

Bump.

I've got pretty good reviews so far, but it's kind of annoying when someone posts a negative comment about something that was obviously explained in the story line, because they skipped through all the dialogue and didn't even read why the thing actually makes sense.

Silly people.

arkainin · May 2013

Indeed silly people, but keep in mind that unless trolling no negative feedback is to be ignored. If enough people have the same issue make sure to look into it. I will check this quest out in a little bit

valkyryja · May 2013

arkainin wrote: »

Indeed silly people, but keep in mind that unless trolling no negative feedback is to be ignored. If enough people have the same issue make sure to look into it. I will check this quest out in a little bit

Thanks for the advice. I'll see if it is repeatedly an issue. Thanks for taking the time.

arkainin · May 2013

Just finished it. Overall I would say it was pretty good. I loved the creative design that went into the levels and all the little details. Things like having random npc people walking around or talking in that first area really brought the quest to life. While the story felt a little rushed, it worked in this case. I am interested in more from you and to continue the quest.

What I mean by rushed is how it went from fighting pigs and random guys to full on hell army. I think this would feel more natural if my character were a higher level, but as a low level fighting these type of enemies so soon into the quest it felt a bit odd. If you decide to make this into a full campaign I would recommend some sort of prologue to sort of ease the player into the epicness of the hells.

Good job though, was fun

valkyryja · May 2013

arkainin wrote: »

Just finished it. Overall I would say it was pretty good. I loved the creative design that went into the levels and all the little details. Things like having random npc people walking around or talking in that first area really brought the quest to life. While the story felt a little rushed, it worked in this case. I am interested in more from you and to continue the quest.

What I mean by rushed is how it went from fighting pigs and random guys to full on hell army. I think this would feel more natural if my character were a higher level, but as a low level fighting these type of enemies so soon into the quest it felt a bit odd. If you decide to make this into a full campaign I would recommend some sort of prologue to sort of ease the player into the epicness of the hells.

Good job though, was fun

Thank you for the feedback. I agree, that's one weird thing I had to sort of figure out. . . how is it that this level 15 player can go into the Hells, and pretty much take on someone who would be way more powerful than them. I did figure out how. . . but I'm saving it until the next one. There's a little loophole. For now though, yes, I can see how it can diminish the badassness of a Devil army. I tried to block out a decent amount of the map, and have dialogue to indicate that Avernus is a much, much bigger place than the little area the quest takes place in, to make it seem a little more. . . befitting a Hell's amazingness? I don't really know how to describe it, lol.

On another note, it's been mentioned that the having to double-click to move maps seems odd. I did this originally because I didn't really know how else to do it, except to use a door as an objective to leave an area, but then there had to be that click for a map transition as well. In an effort to move a map transition to a single click, could this be accomplished by a "reach x area" final map objective, instead of a "use the door to go to x" objective?

valkyryja · May 2013

I was thinking, too, about maybe having Rufus give some sort of warning or segue into the type of trials or environment that awaits the player before they travel there. Maybe then it won't be so abrupt of a change in scenery. That and the having to double-click I will work on this weekend. I've also thought about adding more dialogue options to vary it a bit.

Feedback is great, this is really helpful.

arkainin · May 2013

Keep at it.. I really did enjoy it and am subbed to you for the next installment.

valkyryja · May 2013

I appreciate it, arkainin.

valkyryja · May 2013

The quest is currently off the Foundry. I tried to withdraw it from featuring to submit a different version, but all it did was withdraw it from publishing. >.> So, I guess it will be back up when the publish bug is fixed.

Does anyone know if it's possible to withdraw from featuring or replace the submission with a new version?

valkyryja · May 2013

The publish went through. The new version should have made map transitions smoother and I deleted one of the mandatory quest items to save bag space. Wtb separate quest item bags!
If anyone plays it and notices bugs, please let me know and I can fix it in the morning. Thanks.

valkyryja · May 2013

valkyryja wrote: »

The publish went through. The new version should have made map transitions smoother and I deleted one of the mandatory quest items to save bag space. Wtb separate quest item bags!
If anyone plays it and notices bugs, please let me know and I can fix it in the morning. Thanks.

Doh! I ran through it this morning and it must have published an older version yesterday, because there were several things wrong with it.
I spent about an hour fixing things up, ran through it again, and now the real new version is currently publishing. In addition to fixing the stuff I said had been already fixed, I removed an object to keep the last boss from randomly running to it and back to his spawn point, and I fixed a piece of scenery that was floating in the air.
Thank again for all the great feedback, guys. It's been helping me improve things.

valkyryja · May 2013

I've made a thread in the Foundry Spotlight forum.
Here are some screenshots from over there.

valkyryja · May 2013

And some more:

valkyryja · May 2013

If anyone wants to trade reviews, let me know. Tonight my time is kind of limited, so I can do a couple. I'll have more time tomorrow, and lots on the weekend.

valkyryja · May 2013

Thanks to almostcool for the great feedback. I've tweaked things as recommended, and fixed the spelling error.

@Valkyryja - "A Dark Heart" - Part I: "Duskmoor and the Pit"

The story and characters are very well done. The dialogue is error free except for one part when Lilis says "Priviledge" instead of "Privilege." The dialogue choices are fun and made me actually want to help poor Rosie. The halfling wizard and the ghost on the island were nice quirky touches and I especially liked your idea of using a blood pool as a portal.

I went in as a lvl 45 TR with a cleric companion and had no problem difficulty wise and I actually managed to skip some of the mobs in the beginning, like most of the pigs and the mobs on the island. I know that isn't your intention for them to be skipped but I saw an ogre dressed as a pig and I hate fighting ogres haha. I do have one issue so far though and that is the assembly lines of mobs you have to fight (i.e. the legion devils and ooze monsters) I know you don't emphasize on combat as much as you do story but it is still something that players look for. I just feel like there are too many, like instead of 10 groups maybe lower it down to 4 or 5 since you do have the pitfiend's test right after. I also feel like them just standing there doesn't add much to your environments, might I suggest making them roam the road? Sort of like they are patrolling to make sure no mortals like myself step into their domain.

While fighting the legion devils I also noted that some of the imps were costumed as legion devils and vice-versa. I don't know if this was intentional or not. Either way it's comical nonetheless seeing legion devils flit about in the air.

The mindflayer hulk that you fight during the pitfiend's test is named "Shadow Wolf." Again, I am not sure if this is intentional or simply an accident.

Other than those small things, nothing is game-breakingly wrong with it. I enjoyed it immensely and left you a nice tip

[UGC] Campaign: A Dark Heart, Part I: "Duskmoor and the Pit"

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