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  • jerax1011jerax1011 Posts: 974 Arc User
    edited September 2014
    jonesing4 wrote: »
    I got a coupon for a free hamburger the other day.

    The restaurant sent a towncar to my house to pick me up, knowing that it would cease to be a free hamburger if I had to pay for costly gasoline and have my car suffer depreciation expenses by traveling. Since you have to wear clothes at their establishment, and since it isn't a free hamburger if you have to pay for your own damn clothes to get it, they bathed and clothed me before taking me to the restaurant. After carrying me to the table via stretcher, they pried my jaws open, chewed my free hamburger for me, and regurgitated it into my mouth. Considerate, since making me do any of these things for my 'free' burger would be akin to manual labor. They then wrapped me up in a diaper, and sent me home with a nurse, in order to make sure that the final passage of their free burger would not be something I'd have to bother with myself--otherwise what's the point of free things? I was pleased that they also left $50 cash on my dining room table, realizing that the opportunity cost of spending time enjoying my burger would've disqualified it from being 'free'.

    PWE has a lot of nerve trying to pass this off as free. They will be hearing from my attorney.

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    @Aleatha1011 in CO | Keeper of the Cheesecake since Nov. 2011| Bunni BOT is on PRIMUS! | Come check out my deviantart page!
  • edited September 2014
    This content has been removed.
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