Howdy, pardner
Mah names Rex. Robot Rex The Cowboy.
Ahm from Snake Gulch. You mightve guessed that. Ah reckon mah accent gives me awaythat, and the whole bein a robot thing.
Ah spect you know all about how that mechanical horny toad Mechanon and his Preachers took over and turned mah home into a deathtrap for any human or hero brave enough to walk into town. Sure put a stop to th tourism, Ah gotta tell you.
Now Ah was just a regular Cowboy Robot when all this went down. Sister Sata herself saw to mah reprogramming, and Ah reckon if things had gone nother way Ahd still be there tryn to make any human Ah saw do the leadfoot dance
But somethin happened to me that no onenot even Mechanon himself, Ah betcould have expected.
When Sata was done with her programmin, Ah wasnt the same robot Ah had beenbut Ah wasnt filled with hatred for humans neither.
There were still a few tourists left in town when Sata was done with me, and Ah did mah best to get them outta town before the Hangmen could string them up or that crazy DOS could blow them sky-high. Ah got them out in one piece
Ah wasnt so lucky.
Ah dont know how long Ah was
gone
before Mr. Harmon himself rebuilt me. He put my AI Chip in a new body, made me stronger an tougher than Ah had ever been. Ah wanted to go back to Snake Gulch and make things better, but Mr. Harmon said Ah to prove mahself. He didnt want Mechanon to get his hands on mah improvements in case Ah wasnt up to snuff.
Ah could have just have hightailed it back to Snake Gulch anyway, but disrespectin Mr. Harmon after all hed done for me just seemed
wrong. So Ah helped out in Millennium City against that two bit Jasper Kevin Poe and then helped out with some big trouble at Project Greenskin and in Canada before Ah helped Miss Witchcraft deal with her ornery sister Talisman over at Burnside. (Hard to believe a lady as sweet as Miss Witchcraft could be related to that
Ahm too much of a gentleman to call her what she is
Talisman.) Once Ah handled that hornswoggler Leech Ah got the all clear from Miss Witchcraft to go back home and see what Ah could do there to help.
At first, it felt good to be home. Mr. Donaldson had gotten out of town in time, and he had Belle Steele and the other bots who hadnt been converted by Mechanons Preachers hole up in her saloon till the coast was clear. Ah had always been sweet on Belle
shoot, just about all of us fellas were. She barely knew Ah functioned
Mr. Donaldson
he treated me like he had never seen me before. Ah dont mean he was mean, but Ah didnt get the kind of welcome Ah was expectin. Ah was just another hero to him now; someone to help try to figure out what went wrong with his town
There were a few hikers who needed help, and Ah did my best to make sure they were all right
did you know that those Viper fellas like nothing better than to pretend to be innocent hikers in order to lure a fella into a trap? That just dont seem fair to me
itd be like me wearing a black hat and pretendin to be a bad guy just to get the drop on someone
Ah had to plug some of mah fellow Snake Gulchers to save the humans. Ah gotta admit that it hurt
at least Ah think thats what you humans call it when your innards feel all twisted up inside cause you gotta do somethin you dont wanna.
But a bots gotta do what a bots gotta do
That sick feelin inside didnt go away when Ah took parts of mah friends to Mr. Donaldson so he could try to figure out what Mechanon did to them and how to fix it, but Ah did what Ah was asked to do. Ah told myself that if they were in their right minds, mah friends wouldnt want to go on hurtin folks, but Ah still felt dirty doin it
And Mr. Donaldson didnt seem to care at all
And then Ah had to take down Sheriff Robo
Ah had always respected Robo and his Deputies. They were there to make Snake Gulch safe. He was a straight shooter, great with human children, and hed give you the last drop of oil from his chassis if you needed it.
Now
now he was nothin more than a killin machine.
So Ah did unto him as hed been doing unto others, and Old Robo wont be making anyone dance anymore
Ah went to Belles place after that. Sister SATA was there too, having grown tired of preachin the destruction of all organic life. Ah talked to her a little bit, and then Ah went to see Belle herself. Now Ah wont lie
Ah had been half-hopin that Belled remember me and
She didnt.
She didnt even seem to realize Ah was a robot.
Ah dont sleep, but Ahd had a dream ever since Mr. Harmon woke me up. Ah dreamed that Ah could clean up Snake Gulch and make it safe for humans to visit again. Ah could bring back mah old friends, mah old life. Ah could turn back the clock
But Ah cant.
Even Mr. Donaldson cant do that.
Maybe someday Ahll be able to help throw those Viper varmints out and toss Mechanons preachers into the pokey. Maybe someday Ahll even find a way to restore mah friends to what they had been
But itll never be mah home ever again.
Ah aint like Mechanons posse, but Ahm also not an ordinary Snake Gulcher anymore. Ah think
different than they do
Even Belle
Snake Gulch aint mah home
not any more. Ah dont belong there. Not now.
Maybe theres no place someone like me belongs in this world.
But Ahm still Robot Rex The Cowboy. Ah wear the White Hat, and Ah do whats right. Ah keep innocent folks safe and Ah punish those what deserve it. Thats the Code of the West.
Ahm a hero.
Ahm a Champion.
And someday Ahm gonna make Mechanon pay for what he did
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