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"Go the F**k to Sleep: Champions Online"
sparklisina
Posts: 113 Arc User
Hi there! This is @Glass-Rose and I wrote the following 'poem' for my friend @EvilTaco...because he has a habit of not going to sleep when he needs to. We thought you guys might get a kick out of it since it pertains to most of us who play CO, so here you go. Hopefully I have edited this to the point where I won't get in trouble for the content. (Probably should point out that this is a parody of the original book "Go the F**k to sleep" which rocks and you should give it a read).
"Go the F**k to Sleep: Champions Online"
"The Cat girls are nestled 'round Caliga.
And the demons have gone down to Caprice.
You're cozy and warm at your computer, my dear
But please, go the f**k to sleep.
The windows are dark in MC, love.
The Lemurians huddled down in the deep.
I'll do one very last alert if you swear,
You'll go the f**k to sleep.
The vehicles that soar through the sky are at rest
and the villains who crawl, run and creep.
I know you're still queued. That's bulls**t. Stop lying.
Lie the f**k down, my darling, and sleep.
The wind whispers soft through the desert, hon.
The mighty Grond, he makes not a peep.
It's been two hours already
What the f**k? Just go to sleep.
All the kids in RA are in dreamland.
Biselle is still stuck in his speech
Hell no, you can't have a smoke.
Know what you can do? Go the f**k to sleep.
The heroes fly forth from the rooftops.
Through the air, they soar and they sweep.
A burning hot rage fills my heart, love.
For real, shut the f**k up and sleep.
The pets and the minions are snoring,
Wrapped up in a snuggly heap.
How can you do all this other great sh*t
But you can't lie down and sleep?
Kigatilik is sleeping in Canada now,
Until Rakshasa awakens the creep.
No more talking. This conversation is over.
I've got two words for you, dude: F**king sleep.
The Loa's recline in Vibora, dear.
New Shadows have come from the deep.
Screw that CC, you're not even going.
Just cut the crap and go to sleep.
Qwyjibo throws flames in the jungle
He's made this island a sweltering heap.
You'll never see him and he has no drops, love.
So log the f**k off and sleep.
The word Harlot echoes through the city,
and the tailor isn't so cheap.
Sure, fine, whatever. Another alert.
Who the f**k cares? You're not gonna sleep.
This game is all I can remember,
its new content is crappy and cheap.
You win. You go off on a tangent,
as I nod the f**k off and sleep.
The action figures are snoozing, hon
While the PVPers openly weep.
This sh*t is getting ridiculous now.
Come on, seriously. F**king sleep.
It is now dawn and I awaken,
the birds have begun to cheep.
I log onto Vent to say good morning.
And you're still here, so seriously...
Just go the f**k to sleep.
-Rose
"Go the F**k to Sleep: Champions Online"
"The Cat girls are nestled 'round Caliga.
And the demons have gone down to Caprice.
You're cozy and warm at your computer, my dear
But please, go the f**k to sleep.
The windows are dark in MC, love.
The Lemurians huddled down in the deep.
I'll do one very last alert if you swear,
You'll go the f**k to sleep.
The vehicles that soar through the sky are at rest
and the villains who crawl, run and creep.
I know you're still queued. That's bulls**t. Stop lying.
Lie the f**k down, my darling, and sleep.
The wind whispers soft through the desert, hon.
The mighty Grond, he makes not a peep.
It's been two hours already
What the f**k? Just go to sleep.
All the kids in RA are in dreamland.
Biselle is still stuck in his speech
Hell no, you can't have a smoke.
Know what you can do? Go the f**k to sleep.
The heroes fly forth from the rooftops.
Through the air, they soar and they sweep.
A burning hot rage fills my heart, love.
For real, shut the f**k up and sleep.
The pets and the minions are snoring,
Wrapped up in a snuggly heap.
How can you do all this other great sh*t
But you can't lie down and sleep?
Kigatilik is sleeping in Canada now,
Until Rakshasa awakens the creep.
No more talking. This conversation is over.
I've got two words for you, dude: F**king sleep.
The Loa's recline in Vibora, dear.
New Shadows have come from the deep.
Screw that CC, you're not even going.
Just cut the crap and go to sleep.
Qwyjibo throws flames in the jungle
He's made this island a sweltering heap.
You'll never see him and he has no drops, love.
So log the f**k off and sleep.
The word Harlot echoes through the city,
and the tailor isn't so cheap.
Sure, fine, whatever. Another alert.
Who the f**k cares? You're not gonna sleep.
This game is all I can remember,
its new content is crappy and cheap.
You win. You go off on a tangent,
as I nod the f**k off and sleep.
The action figures are snoozing, hon
While the PVPers openly weep.
This sh*t is getting ridiculous now.
Come on, seriously. F**king sleep.
It is now dawn and I awaken,
the birds have begun to cheep.
I log onto Vent to say good morning.
And you're still here, so seriously...
Just go the f**k to sleep.
-Rose
Post edited by sparklisina on
0
Comments
Sure looks like crap...
Too sleep, too sleep"
Your prose sounds like the riff Conan OBrien used to do in one of his funnier bits. Well not so much the wording but the cadence.
Well written. You could use an editor but still quite good.
Flare's guide to hosting and judging costume contests!
(link under construction)
Flare, considering your reputation with the ladies, a poem containing this many f-bombs is bound to have an entirely different interpretation.
They're not there in the beginning, but when your story ends / Gonna last with you longer than your friends
The world is not yet ready for 50 Shades of Flare.
"GO THE F**K TO SLEEP... ALERT!"
Read this entire poem, in Doctor Destroyer's voice.
:biggrin:
Caliga's PRIMUS Database! --XXX--The Caliga Build: Threatening Haymakers! --XXX-- Caliga and Conquer fanart!
I tried it after you said it. I failed. :P Anyways, that would be epic.
(Warning, adult language)
Go the F**k to Sleep read aloud
Marry me.
No, seriously. That was friggin' awesome, dude. You rock.
I accept your proposal, and I present this to make it official.
Some things need to be in multiple times of media. This was one of those things.
RIP Caine
Hahaha! Nicely done sir!
Consolidate the currencies! (Please!)
Does your Champion have a theme song? (share it!)
Got a funny in-game screenshot? (share it!)
Please fix the Overdrive energy unlock! (Should help promote thematic build diversity!)