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Open Story: The Adventures of Santa Grond
Archived Post
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The Tin-Star Man was chilling down in Snake Gulch, where all was unusually quiet. Even for an early December. Then, suddenly, he heard a large crash. Oh yes, Tin-Star Man thought, that could only mean one thing. He descended to the lowest level of the canyon to see the jolly guy known around the world as Grond. When he got there, all was unusually quiet. Quiet, that is, until Tin-StarMan saw him. Grond was turned away. Now, he though. Now i the chance to strike.
Tin-Star Man ran forward with guns drawn, but something really seemed wrong. Grond turned around. Why was he wearing that ridiculous Santa hat and red coat? Tin-Star Man stopped in his tracks as Grond ran toward him.
Santa Grond: "You're no match for Grond, little pipsqueak!"
Tin-Star Man: "Oh ****"
Santa Grond: "Here you go. I will set it onto the grond. Wait that not right. Why do you confuse Grond, so?"
Santa Grond set a box on the ground, all wrapped in paper and a pretty bow. Tin-Star Man stared blankly at the box for a moment. The grin never seemed to leave Santa Grond's face.
Santa Grond: "Santa Grond bored now. Bye-bye..."
And, with that, he was off as quickly as he came. Tin-Star Man had put away his guns, but he had picked up a stick, which he was now using to poke the box. He looked around so unsure if anyone was watching. Tin-Star Man undid the bow and paper. He carefully opened the box. He peeked inside. He glared. What was inside?
Ping Pong Balls. Lots and lots of Ping Pong Balls with "I.O.U." written on them filled the box like the filler Styrofoam. Tin-Star Man reached inside with his gloved hand. He probed around the balls, which were now slowly spilling out the sides of the box. Then he found it. He pulled out what appeared to be a Foxbat plushy with a note attached:
This was a day of great rejoice in all the Desert. Nay, it was a season. Was that a flake of snow?
Tin-Star Man ran forward with guns drawn, but something really seemed wrong. Grond turned around. Why was he wearing that ridiculous Santa hat and red coat? Tin-Star Man stopped in his tracks as Grond ran toward him.
Santa Grond: "You're no match for Grond, little pipsqueak!"
Tin-Star Man: "Oh ****"
Santa Grond: "Here you go. I will set it onto the grond. Wait that not right. Why do you confuse Grond, so?"
Santa Grond set a box on the ground, all wrapped in paper and a pretty bow. Tin-Star Man stared blankly at the box for a moment. The grin never seemed to leave Santa Grond's face.
Santa Grond: "Santa Grond bored now. Bye-bye..."
And, with that, he was off as quickly as he came. Tin-Star Man had put away his guns, but he had picked up a stick, which he was now using to poke the box. He looked around so unsure if anyone was watching. Tin-Star Man undid the bow and paper. He carefully opened the box. He peeked inside. He glared. What was inside?
Ping Pong Balls. Lots and lots of Ping Pong Balls with "I.O.U." written on them filled the box like the filler Styrofoam. Tin-Star Man reached inside with his gloved hand. He probed around the balls, which were now slowly spilling out the sides of the box. Then he found it. He pulled out what appeared to be a Foxbat plushy with a note attached:
Happy Holidays!
This was a day of great rejoice in all the Desert. Nay, it was a season. Was that a flake of snow?
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Annihilator flew past the surprisingly quiet and empty dunes and valleys of the desert. He was patrolling for remaining VIPER, but not a soul was to be seen. Suddenly, he heard a loud thud behind him. He turned around to see Grond in a Santa hat and coat which barely fit him.
"Hey Grond! What's up?" He asked sarcastically, holding back a giggle at the Santa hat.
"Out of my way weakling! No one can stop Grond!" the monstrosity shouted before doing a bull rush at Annihal.
"Whoa there. I'm just trying to be nice!" Annihal said, just barely avoiding Grond's massive shoulders. Ground leapt out of sight, and Annihal noticed a wrapped up box on the ground.
"Huh, what's this?" he said before landing near the box, and cautiously examining it.
He felt a cold shiver on his back. He looked up to see some snow flakes dropping from the sky.
"Snow? In the desert? A festive Grond? Mysterious presents? Could things get any stranger?
Hey...this chimney too small...*CRUNCHCRUMBLES SHATTERSMASH*
OK, that better. Where tree?
...oopsie...