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The Mr. Eternal Limited Series
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Mr. Eternal Limited Series (Issue #1)
People call me Mr. Eternal. And right now I am falling off of a twenty story 'scraper in the middle of downtown Millennium City. I am also really wishing this sort of thing happened to me less often. But lucky me, I can experience this wonderfully fun activity more than once! Why? Well because I'm immortal. Its all in the name.
Still I can't say I enjoy the experience of slamming into a parked car at terminal velocity. Not that it hurts much actually, a great thing about the human body is its ability to dull pain from horrific and traumatizing injuries. Like being stepped on by Grond. Or getting a VIPER cruise missile rocketing up for an explosive 'Hello'. Or getting blown off the roof of a skyscraper by one of those weird Gadroon weapons. I mean not everyone can be like Ironclad or Defender and cleverly deflect comets with their mighty pecs. Not all of us can bench press tanks and break the sound barrier on our morning jog. What? No, Im not bitter. What gave you that idea?
Anyways, all I can think of as I stare up from the man-shaped crater I just made in some poor saps car is how glad I am its not raining. As well as how glad I am I didn't land in the middle of a bunch of Cobra Lords. Yeah...that sucks. But no, lucky me. It's just me and Mister Toad today with a dramatic reinterpretation of "The Wind in the Willows". And here he comes now, flying down to gloat while I try to get my spine back into one piece. I honestly don't want to get up. Really, once you get used to it the big chunks of razor sharp metal is quite comfortable compared to being tossed around by some frog-faced alien.
So yeah right now I'm just lying here with my body quietly putting itself back together when the guy floating in the air above me starts sputing something in that language of his. Seriously, it sounds like a dying bullfrog with the flu. I sigh.
"You know, if your going to monologue over me maybe you should make sure you're translater is on?"
Idiot.
The Gadroon looks down at me with what I assume to be disgust. Its hard to tell through the warts you know, before touching something on his armor and speaking again.
"Your primitive and crude language fills me with revulsion human. If you monkeys are enslaved instead of exterminated like the pests you are you will have to receive discipline in real speech. And I doubt it will be long for that, if you are typical of what you monkeys call "heroes". The meanest grunt of the Gadroon Empire has more power than you. And more heroic courage too. Why..."
And he goes on and on and on. For someone who hates our language so much he sure likes to hear himself talk. Unfortunately for me, I'm a captive audience right now.
"...over the insectile Qulaar, whom even you monkeys are having trouble repelling! It would be almost sad if it wasn't so laughable! Why, it reminds me of the Ballad of Urgolck...."
Oh god. Anything but that. Not Gadroon poetry. Not that abomination to the very concept of language! I can't beleive they haven't weaponized it yet! Don't they realize just how horrible it is? Hasn't anyone told them? Well...without getting their arms ripped off by furious Gadroon? I try to look around for some opportunity to do something as the frog-man launches into his sustained soliloquy. Back into his own language too. Something about 'Crude monkey languages cannot convey the true depth of feeling and passion'.
Struggling to keep my sanity I slip Spell-Breaker, the golden magical chain I use, into my hand and snake it along the ground. Up the buiding behind the Gadroon. And just when I think I am about to loose my mind under the horrific onslaught of the poem, Spell-breaker strikes out. It wraps itself around one of the Gadroon's atrophied legs and slams the alien to the street before wrapping around it.
Breathing a true sigh of relief I pick myself out of the car, dusting myself off. I pull out a card with the city's Heroism Insurance Fund information on it (Best piece of equipment the city has ever given me, hands down.) and put it under the windshield wiper before heading over to the stunned and dizzy looking alien.
"Your treacherous tactics are like that of the foul Hreckliq in the Ode to..."
Quickly I motion with one hand and Spell-breaker further wraps itself around the Gadroon's mouth. "Sorry, you're speaking priveleges are revoked. Lets go see if the Champions will let you have them back."
It spits and gurgles something at me through the chain bridling it. I pat the alien's head and smile warmly as I walk past. "Don't do that too much. I'm going to need you to clean Spell-breaker after this is through. Might as well not make too much work for yourself."
I pick up the other end of the chain and start dragging the hapless alien down the street towards the Champion's Building, muttering under my breath. "God I hate fighting Gadroon..."
Collectible Hero Card: Mr. Eternal
(Side #1)
Vital Stats:
Name: Mr. Eternal
Real Identity: Unknown
Height: 6' 0"
Age: Unknown
Super-powers: Immortality, Spell-Breaker (Magic Chain)
People call me Mr. Eternal. And right now I am falling off of a twenty story 'scraper in the middle of downtown Millennium City. I am also really wishing this sort of thing happened to me less often. But lucky me, I can experience this wonderfully fun activity more than once! Why? Well because I'm immortal. Its all in the name.
Still I can't say I enjoy the experience of slamming into a parked car at terminal velocity. Not that it hurts much actually, a great thing about the human body is its ability to dull pain from horrific and traumatizing injuries. Like being stepped on by Grond. Or getting a VIPER cruise missile rocketing up for an explosive 'Hello'. Or getting blown off the roof of a skyscraper by one of those weird Gadroon weapons. I mean not everyone can be like Ironclad or Defender and cleverly deflect comets with their mighty pecs. Not all of us can bench press tanks and break the sound barrier on our morning jog. What? No, Im not bitter. What gave you that idea?
Anyways, all I can think of as I stare up from the man-shaped crater I just made in some poor saps car is how glad I am its not raining. As well as how glad I am I didn't land in the middle of a bunch of Cobra Lords. Yeah...that sucks. But no, lucky me. It's just me and Mister Toad today with a dramatic reinterpretation of "The Wind in the Willows". And here he comes now, flying down to gloat while I try to get my spine back into one piece. I honestly don't want to get up. Really, once you get used to it the big chunks of razor sharp metal is quite comfortable compared to being tossed around by some frog-faced alien.
So yeah right now I'm just lying here with my body quietly putting itself back together when the guy floating in the air above me starts sputing something in that language of his. Seriously, it sounds like a dying bullfrog with the flu. I sigh.
"You know, if your going to monologue over me maybe you should make sure you're translater is on?"
Idiot.
The Gadroon looks down at me with what I assume to be disgust. Its hard to tell through the warts you know, before touching something on his armor and speaking again.
"Your primitive and crude language fills me with revulsion human. If you monkeys are enslaved instead of exterminated like the pests you are you will have to receive discipline in real speech. And I doubt it will be long for that, if you are typical of what you monkeys call "heroes". The meanest grunt of the Gadroon Empire has more power than you. And more heroic courage too. Why..."
And he goes on and on and on. For someone who hates our language so much he sure likes to hear himself talk. Unfortunately for me, I'm a captive audience right now.
"...over the insectile Qulaar, whom even you monkeys are having trouble repelling! It would be almost sad if it wasn't so laughable! Why, it reminds me of the Ballad of Urgolck...."
Oh god. Anything but that. Not Gadroon poetry. Not that abomination to the very concept of language! I can't beleive they haven't weaponized it yet! Don't they realize just how horrible it is? Hasn't anyone told them? Well...without getting their arms ripped off by furious Gadroon? I try to look around for some opportunity to do something as the frog-man launches into his sustained soliloquy. Back into his own language too. Something about 'Crude monkey languages cannot convey the true depth of feeling and passion'.
Struggling to keep my sanity I slip Spell-Breaker, the golden magical chain I use, into my hand and snake it along the ground. Up the buiding behind the Gadroon. And just when I think I am about to loose my mind under the horrific onslaught of the poem, Spell-breaker strikes out. It wraps itself around one of the Gadroon's atrophied legs and slams the alien to the street before wrapping around it.
Breathing a true sigh of relief I pick myself out of the car, dusting myself off. I pull out a card with the city's Heroism Insurance Fund information on it (Best piece of equipment the city has ever given me, hands down.) and put it under the windshield wiper before heading over to the stunned and dizzy looking alien.
"Your treacherous tactics are like that of the foul Hreckliq in the Ode to..."
Quickly I motion with one hand and Spell-breaker further wraps itself around the Gadroon's mouth. "Sorry, you're speaking priveleges are revoked. Lets go see if the Champions will let you have them back."
It spits and gurgles something at me through the chain bridling it. I pat the alien's head and smile warmly as I walk past. "Don't do that too much. I'm going to need you to clean Spell-breaker after this is through. Might as well not make too much work for yourself."
I pick up the other end of the chain and start dragging the hapless alien down the street towards the Champion's Building, muttering under my breath. "God I hate fighting Gadroon..."
Collectible Hero Card: Mr. Eternal
(Side #1)
Vital Stats:
Name: Mr. Eternal
Real Identity: Unknown
Height: 6' 0"
Age: Unknown
Super-powers: Immortality, Spell-Breaker (Magic Chain)
Post edited by Archived Post on
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Comments
Pretty sure you just made a minor error there.
One other thing, it includes the paragraph after that.
The parts in orange I found awkward, and the reason is for organization. If you say it out loud the word choice and structure of the sentences do not flow together. Let me break it down.
"Not that it hurts much actually, one of the beautiful things about the human body being its ability to heavily dull pain from horrific and traumatizing injuries. Like getting stepped on by Grond."
Your character above stated that he is immortal, so in this second sentence now he attributes some of his immortality to his human form? Or that it contributes somewhat to his success? Maybe if you cleared it up more it could sound like this.
"Not that it hurts much actually, a great thing about the human body is its ability to dull pain from horrific and traumatizing injuries. Like being stepped on by Grond."
If you notice I didn't change the sentence much, but made it more precise and to the point. Wordiness will only get you so far. Hope this helps!
As for your question, I was pointing out that the brain has a tendency to dull or shut off pain responses for traumatic injury, especially in flight or fight situations. The reason he can still move around and fight is because of this reflex. His immortality is how he survives multiple such traumas without dying or being hospitalized for months on end.))
"Wakey-wakey hero!"
Ugh...my head feels like a freight train ran over it. And then got tossed around by PSI telekinetics for good measure. I guess I get what I asked for. I open my eyes to find myself in a metal chair in some warehouse. Steel bands bind me to the arms and legs and since like normal people I can't bend I-Beams into pretzels they do a pretty good job of holding me. And of course *he's* there, laughing his cape off. Even if the lighting isnt very good here I can recognize that voice anywhere. Plus the shadow of that goofy mask of his gives him right away. And the "fans" scattered around the room with his bright yellow logo on his chest...
"Excellent my valiant foe! We wouldn't want you to miss the moment of my triumph now would we!? HAHAHAHA!"
I try to keep from rolling my eyes and sigh instead. "Oh no. I have been defeated. There is nothing now that I can do to stop the forces of injustice. Oh woe. What fiendish and incomparable supervillain could have captured me?" Try as I might I can't keep the voice from coming out as a bored and lackluster monotone, like I was reading from particularly dull cue cards. It does the job though. He laughs again and steps forward to do his obligatory gloating.
"But of course! It is I! The great FOXBAT! Silly hero, did you not think my genius wouldn't catch on to your snooping around? No one can fool the Foxbat! The greatest criminal mastermind the universe has ever known!
Oh yeah, he's really hamming it up now. Playing along with this is painful. "Of course. Only the genius Foxbat could have set so clever a trap as...*sigh*....sedatives cleverly disguised as Limited Edition Foxbat Gumballs...*oh god this is stupid*"
Foxbat nods contentedly to himself before tilting his head questioningly "Eh? what was that?"
"Oh...I uh...was only lamenting that I would never figure out the...uh... nefarious and ingenious plot that I have failed to foil. A plot that will no doubt show the utter greatness of Foxbat for the world to see."
He actually poses for that, grinning to himself. I can almost see him patting himself on the back. Why oh why did I volunteer for this again?
"Well since you've been such a worthy sport I'll tell yo..."
One of his goons interrupts him. "Um...Foxbat, sir? Do you really think its such a good idea to tell him?"
Foxbat only laughs and poses dramatically.
"SILENCE! My awesomeness will be known! The hero's despair is all the greater when knowing just how foolish he was and just how great you plan is! Its on page 256 of 'Foxbat's Guide to AWESOME Supervillany!'. But don't worry my young man!" He puts an arm around the sheepish looking henchman "Not everyone can have the instinctive grasp of superbly awesome criminality that I have! Now..um...where was I?"
"You were about to show me the error of my ways by unveiling your ingeniously nefarious Foxbat-plot."
"Oh yes. CUE THE MUSIC!" Dramatic music flares up from some speakers somewhere and a couple of spot-light bots shine on him as he once again poses dramatically. "My hijacking of the ping pong ball shipment and attack on the Kountry Komics store were just distractions my worthy foe! For my true plan is to seize the WCOC Television Station and remake it into WFOX! From there the whole world will know my awesomeness on live prime-time TV! And there's nothing you can do about it! HAHA!
"Oh no. The despair. It is too great. Such an ingenious plan. How could I have ever thought to have been able to foil it?" I try not to look too bored.
"That's right! And now I must leave. My greatness awaits! But don't worry, you can watch it right here Mr. Eternal! See ya!" He turns to his fans "My adoring public awaits! Foxbat AWAY!"
I wait for them all to leave. Even the sap stuck with carrying out Foxbat's extra crate of ping-pong balls. Only when they are all gone do I speak into my coat, near where the microphone is set.
"You get all that Chief?"
"Yeah, we got it. SOCRATES is disseminating the information to the local heroes now. Good job Eternal, I owe you."
"Oh well... thanks. Don't mention it....Can you just please remember to send someone to get me out this time? Ok, Chief?"
.....
"Chief?"
....
"SURHOFF!"
....
".... Aw nuts..."