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CO MAD HAX: FURRY ROAD
cybersoldier1981
Posts: 2,501 Arc User
My name is Hax. My world is lockboxes and alerts. Once, I was a player. A CO player searching for a righteous cause. As the development fell...each of us in our own way was broken. It was hard to know who was more crazy. Me... Or everyone else.
"WE ARE FAN BOYS! FAN BOYS! LOWERED STANDARDS FAN BOYS!" I hear them screaming, revving the engines of their Lockbox-exclusive vehicles. "TODAY WE'RE HEADED TO PTS TOWN! TODAY WE HAULIN' DRIFTER SALVAGE! WE HAULIN' LOCKBOX KEYS!"
I tell myself they cannot touch my money. They are long dead. I am the one who runs from both the living and the dead. Hunted by trolls... Haunted by those I could not protect. So I exist in this wasteland... A man, reduced to a single instinct: playing.
Immortan PWE stands before his 'people'- surrounded by his Fan Boys, the 'Zen' logo marking their flesh in ritual scars. He raises his arms, and the masses below crawl toward him, dirty and starved for something. "I AM YOUR REDEEMER!" He tells them. "It is by my hand you will rise from the ashes of this world!"
He activates a lever, the huddled and starving masses below are given a taste- 10 minutes of playable content. "Do not, my customers, become addicted to content. It will take hold of you and you will resent its absence!" They fight, bicker, and scream with extasy at the mere taste of something to do, something new and fresh.
His Fan Boys begin the convoy. Bifferator Smackiosa is behind the wheels of the big rig. He veers off course at some point, and that's when Immortan PWE realizes his prized Developers have been stolen. He calls his Fan Boys to 'go do war'.
I'm strapped to a Fan Boy's Lockbox Exclusive Hovertank, used as a 'Cash Bag'. "Witness me, Cash Bag!" He says to me, chasing down Bifferator Smackiosa's rig. I see my wallet swept away and destroyed. They took my money, they took my time. What else can they take from me? Soon, we encounter a sh-t storm, and we're swept away.
I find the rig. I see the developers- Crush, Splosions, and Arkayne cutting the keyboards from their loins. There's a fight between Bifferator Smackiosa and I in the dust. I have a chat ban, and I want it off. Finally, the 24 hours passes and it's gone.
"Where are we going" I ask Smackiosa.
"To the Content Place."
"Where is it?" City of Heroes is long gone. There's nothing but dead sites no matter which way we go. Those other two games, City of TItans and Valiance Online... they're just stories. There's nothing but dust no matter which way we go.
"I remember where it is..." He sets the rig into motion, and we drive away into the scorched desert... only to find ourselves right back at Champions Online in the end.
"WE ARE FAN BOYS! FAN BOYS! LOWERED STANDARDS FAN BOYS!" I hear them screaming, revving the engines of their Lockbox-exclusive vehicles. "TODAY WE'RE HEADED TO PTS TOWN! TODAY WE HAULIN' DRIFTER SALVAGE! WE HAULIN' LOCKBOX KEYS!"
I tell myself they cannot touch my money. They are long dead. I am the one who runs from both the living and the dead. Hunted by trolls... Haunted by those I could not protect. So I exist in this wasteland... A man, reduced to a single instinct: playing.
Immortan PWE stands before his 'people'- surrounded by his Fan Boys, the 'Zen' logo marking their flesh in ritual scars. He raises his arms, and the masses below crawl toward him, dirty and starved for something. "I AM YOUR REDEEMER!" He tells them. "It is by my hand you will rise from the ashes of this world!"
He activates a lever, the huddled and starving masses below are given a taste- 10 minutes of playable content. "Do not, my customers, become addicted to content. It will take hold of you and you will resent its absence!" They fight, bicker, and scream with extasy at the mere taste of something to do, something new and fresh.
His Fan Boys begin the convoy. Bifferator Smackiosa is behind the wheels of the big rig. He veers off course at some point, and that's when Immortan PWE realizes his prized Developers have been stolen. He calls his Fan Boys to 'go do war'.
I'm strapped to a Fan Boy's Lockbox Exclusive Hovertank, used as a 'Cash Bag'. "Witness me, Cash Bag!" He says to me, chasing down Bifferator Smackiosa's rig. I see my wallet swept away and destroyed. They took my money, they took my time. What else can they take from me? Soon, we encounter a sh-t storm, and we're swept away.
I find the rig. I see the developers- Crush, Splosions, and Arkayne cutting the keyboards from their loins. There's a fight between Bifferator Smackiosa and I in the dust. I have a chat ban, and I want it off. Finally, the 24 hours passes and it's gone.
"Where are we going" I ask Smackiosa.
"To the Content Place."
"Where is it?" City of Heroes is long gone. There's nothing but dead sites no matter which way we go. Those other two games, City of TItans and Valiance Online... they're just stories. There's nothing but dust no matter which way we go.
"I remember where it is..." He sets the rig into motion, and we drive away into the scorched desert... only to find ourselves right back at Champions Online in the end.
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