test content
What is the Arc Client?
Install Arc

Know any DnD jokes?

2»

Comments

  • thrashishthrashish Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited April 2013
    this is an old classic, but maybe you didnt get a chance to see it.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHIMJVD9LSA
  • foxomfoxom Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Guardian Users Posts: 3 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    how many dwarves does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    3, one to hold the bulb and 2 to drink until the room spins
  • harbingerdrumharbingerdrum Member, Neverwinter Beta Users, Neverwinter Hero Users Posts: 151 Bounty Hunter
    edited May 2013
    This is a true joke.

    One of the early D&D writers commented on a rather tough end game dragon he had devised that was unbeatable, on purpose..
    He knew that no one could kill it and he got a ton of hate mail. Then to his surprise one day someone did beat it.

    He figured it was a hack so he emailed to see how it was done.

    The Hero responded that he couldn't beat it but his 12 year old did.

    He had hit it with everything he could and failed. He said when his Son ran into the dragon, he typed..

    A: Put dragon in pack.

    It worked..

    moral here is that kids can teach also.
    the Book Binding series by @HarbingerDrum ----> Help Defeat Lolth's Minions
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    1- 20, 2- 35, 3- 18, 4- 20 min
    Comments to ->
    the Book Binding
  • spikespirespikespire Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 14 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    *AHEM*

    After Ashe and his friends were given an artifact that was recovered by a servant of the Raven Queen, and was told to NOT let <Villains Name> be aware of said artifact, for he is on the hunt for it and needs it for plans unknown.

    Not long after the adventures come across <Villain> at the end of this maze like town and were barricaded inside a house with hordes of undead outside. The choice was, give info about the location of the said Artifact, or die.

    Ashe reach into his bag and pulled out the Artifact swiftly and proudly exclaiming, "YOU MEAN THIIIIIS???"

    The party then proceeded to stab him silly.

    LONG STORY SHORT: Got tired of playing the current cleric, wanted to Multi-Class Cleric Wizard. (worked out better in the end I say). OH and to always give the bad guy the key to an ancient weapon that will soon make him a deity himself, if not more so. Always works well for you and your mates, ALWAYS.
    NWsig_zps2f8df234.png
    ZRcH2.gif .gif .gif
    "You know you wanna fondle my dragons."
  • sangfreudsangfreud Member Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    How do you keep a dwarf busy? Put him in a round chamber and tell him there's a copper piece in the corner.
  • sangfreudsangfreud Member Posts: 2 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    How many Drow Matrons does it take to screw in a Magic Orb of Luminescence? None; they get their kobold slaves to do it.

    How many kobold slave does it take to screw in a Magic Orb of Luminescence? Three; one to hold the orb and two to turn the ladder.

    How many dwarves does it take to screw in a Magic Orb of Luminescence? None; they'd rather sit in the dark and gripe about it.
  • xuminaxumina Member, Neverwinter Beta Users Posts: 188 Bounty Hunter
    edited May 2013
    How many darklings does it take to light a candle stick???
    What candle stick; darn it got stolen.
  • budrik1budrik1 Member Posts: 57 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    sangfreud wrote: »
    How do you keep a dwarf busy? Put him in a round chamber and tell him there's a copper piece in the corner.

    Copper? Pfffft... try ale. Or beer.

    Here's one.

    A fighter, a rogue and a wizard are sitting in a sinking boat. The rogue is hiding so the fighter throws the wizard overboard.
    "Pugs are like Saturday Night Live Sketches.
    Most of em' are awful, some of em are decent, and a few are pretty good."
  • undeadcrabbundeadcrabb Member Posts: 544 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Oooh-kay, now it's time to shine again:

    Why did the Fighter let the Rogue choose the party's Warlock? Because he was good at picking 'Locks.

    What did the Tyrant buy to protect himself from the Paladins of Garl Glittergold? Gnome Insurance.


    What do you call a paladin that just got pwned by a white dragon?
    A popsicle. Because they're frozen stiff and they've got a stick up their <font color="orange">HAMSTER</font>.


    What is the easiest way to kill two dragons? Throw a platinum piece in between them and watch them fight to the death.


    A group of adventurers is trying to extract information from a farmer. They finally give up and begin to walk away. Suddenly the wizard says, "I bet the pig could tell us what we need to know". The rogue then says, "Yea, I bet the barbarian could talk to it also. they have the same inteligence"!
    Folow me on Deviant art! ;)
  • undeadcrabbundeadcrabb Member Posts: 544 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    ...And because I usualy multiclass:

    jewjitsu.jpg?t=1271897412
    RougeRanger.jpg
    tumblr_mktgspSVSp1s2v2ceo1_500.jpg
    multiclassing.jpg
    Folow me on Deviant art! ;)
  • beriad1beriad1 Member Posts: 61 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    ...And because I usualy multiclass:

    multiclassing.jpg

    I like this one! Thanks for sharing :)
    fs_49316d8a5de21281b0f4fc8f0089006b.png
  • undeadcrabbundeadcrabb Member Posts: 544 Arc User
    edited May 2013
    Four orcs walk into a bar. The fifth one ducks.


    A human father has three little half-elven girls, and one of them comes up to him one day and asks, "Daddy, why am I named Rose?" to which the father replies, "Honey, when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your forehead, so we named you Rose."
    The second daughter comes up to him afterward and asks, "Daddy, why am I named Lily?" to which he replies, "Sweetie, when you were a baby, a lily petal fell on your forehead, so we named you Lily."
    The third daughter comes up to him and says, "Gajfnkasjtgongodg" and the father replies, "Shut up, HillGiantRock!"


    A female zombie walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. After a minute, a really drunk bar patron comes over to her, leers, and says, "Dang, you're ugly, but I'll still sleep wi' ye!"
    The zombie shrugs and says, "Sorry, but I'm immune to critical hits."



    How many adventurers does it take to light a candle?
    Four. One to haul out the tinder and flint, one to protest that magic would light it better, one to question whether a candle is even necessary in this dungeon, and one to say, "Um, I forgot to buy the candle, but I've got three dozen metal spikes, a lockpick, and a pole..."
    Folow me on Deviant art! ;)
Sign In or Register to comment.