Looking for Review / critique of my first Foundry.

satyr

My first foundry,

The curse of Kappa Bay NW-DM8CDN4H3

Shipwrecked again!!
Every Ship that has come near Kappa Bay has gone down and you must find out why.
Fight your way past undead! Discover the fortress of Lothos! Battle Powerful Mages!

It is fairly straightforward, I didn't want to make a quest that took forever. I do plan on spending some time adding details and decorations.

I would love any feedback.
Author: @ Sattago

winterswitch

Hey Sattago. OK, I ran "Kappa Bay" last night. You've got some tough fights in there. Kept me on my toes. Here are my suggestions.

--spawn point: I know you're still adding details, but I'd recommend putting down some broken barrels and crates along with the dead bodies.

--the archers near the spawn point: Totally your call, but I think of archers as being stationary, not patrolling.

--Boatswain: it would be cool if you could have him look back over his shoulder at the end of his dialogue (to kinda show you the way).

--Objective: "Get to the Cave Entrance" (Entrance is misspelled)

--Stonehenge: the little box says "Press F to There is an insciption...". Change to "Press F to read insciption..."

--Ravel's dialogue: "their" and "gruesome" are misspelled.

--Dragon symbol at the top of the stairs says "Go to next map." Maybe change to "Travel into the dungeon" or something like that.

--Tunnel with skeletons: Left wall is shimmering like it's interactable, but it's not. I'm guessing the shmimmers are bleeding though from the other side of the wall.

--Flip the wooden double doors around 180 degrees so they open into the room when you push. As it is, it looks weird to push and have the doors open outward into the player.

--I liked the room with the illusionary artifact that led to the battle. Cool idea there!

--Ravel's dialogue: "the altar" and "elixir" are misspelled.


I enjoyed the quest, and rated it 5 stars. Thanks for making it. If you don't mind, could you run my newest quest "Absolute Zero" and tell me what you think? Thanks.

@Sintered

karistiana

I just finished your foundry. Sintered's notes cover quite a bit, so I will just add what I can to it.

First of all, I enjoyed this quest. It has an interesting story line. The ending could certainly allow for a continuation of the story, if you wished to do so.

I completed the quest with a level 70 CW with a 1.9k IL. The quest objectives were pretty clear. Overall, everything seemed to run smoothly, and I was able to complete everything in good time.

The sheer number of mobs mixed in with CC resistant enemies was pretty balanced. It added to the level of difficulty, but it wasn't over the top.

I was kinda surprised that the final fight was as easy as it was considering how the fights were before it. I figured the demon version would have been more powerful, but that wasn't the case. I had no trouble keeping him frozen, so he didn't really get too much of a chance to show me what he could do though hehe.

The main issue that stuck out the most was the need for proofreading. It's my understanding that there isn't any type of spellcheck or other proofreading tools in the foundry editor. I was reading on the forum somewhere that some authors use a word processing program to write out their dialogue and such, and then copy and paste it into the text boxes in the foundry editor. It may be something you find helpful and wish to consider in the future.

Thanks for a fun foundry quest .

melinden

I played with my level 70 DC. I thought this was a very good first foundry, but it just needs some final clean up work. I third the recommendation that you clean up the grammar and spelling. I listed a few but there were a number of errors. Otherwise I would mostly just recommend you add sound to the maps.

My detailed notes are below.

Kappa Bay:
-very nice detail work
-you probably want to add sound effects and/or music
-you have a human costume on the undead pirate Deathpledged but the name remains. Not too bad considering it doesn’t say “gnoll” or something but you may want to look at it.
-in the Boatswain’s conversation option 2 response the “i” in “Last I remember it was smooth sailing” should be capitalized
-the second copy of the Boatswain is still named “Old Sailor”
-the NPC “Carpeter” should be Carpenter
-in the conversation with the Captain it seems like there should be another step. I opted to tell him I wanted to kill undead. He tells me go do that if I want. Then the objective is to “Find the Cave”

Kappa Peak:
-music on this map would also be good
-very nice detail work on the fortress
-you have a little bit of visual glitching in the foyer. The best way to handle this if you wish to overlap details is to off set them on the axis in which they overlap. You can do it by as little as .01 and the computer will stop trying to display both at the same time. No player will be able to notice it.

Lothos:
-the rooms you have detailed are very nice, but adding some more to the hallways will help break up the monotony. Debris, plants growing through the walls, more broken furnishings would all help.
-the music in the artifact room is good
-you also have some overlap flickering in the artifact room, the off set will solve this as well.
-the dragon fireball pillars are floating slightly off the floor
-the Thayan Encounter group all has their original names and costumes except the Illusionist who is named Insane Mage.


If you have a chance to play it I have a new foundry listed on the Foundry Quest Database called Research Recovery in Thay.

@DoctorBadger