No, YOU'RE the entity!

luckyyahoo

Dear members of the galactic community,

We, the Tholian Society for the Dignity of “Entities”, would like to strongly condemn the use of the word “Entity” to describe our cosmic crystalline friends. Such terminology only serves to “dehumanise” these gracious living beings, known to us Tholians as H’xrdrh (pronounce as you would “Hors-d’oeuvres”, with an X).

For this reason, we have decided to invite you to the following conference:

Id-Entity, a psychoanalytic perspective on Federation linguistic imperialism

…through which we hope to share a deeper understanding of how designations can be used to effect bullying on a galactic scale. The first time an H’xrdrh met the Federation, the one known as Picard had the audacity to call it an “entity”, an affront which has had repercussions to this day.

Because in the end, aren’t we all entities, Picard?

AND, if you’re interested in the topic, don’t miss our other conference:
Enti-She, a feminist revue of interlocking systems of oppression in Federation naming conventions.

alexmakepeace

To whom it may concern,

Thank you for contacting us regarding this issue. After consulting with inclusiveness specialists from the Department of Personnel, this department has concluded that the term "entity" shall continue to be used in connection with the crystalline being known to you as "H’xrdrh," to the Klingons as "The Thing Without Honor," to the Borg as "Species 37,457,2812,738.75," and the Ferengi as "That Crystal Thing Which Won't Buy Anything."

The department finds that the Tholian delegate is correct in that "we are all entities," and that the term "entity" is both accurate and carries no unwarranted connotations. The department acknowledges that the term "entity" does indeed dehumanize the species in question, but finds this acceptable due to the fact that it is not, in fact, human.

Unfortunately, a scheduling conflict prevents our attendance of the conference to which you have graciously invited us, but we would be happy to send you a copy of "The Oxford English Dictionary," which provides further information on the exact nature of the term "entity."

Again, we appreciate your taking the time to contact us. Please do not hesitate to contact us again if you have further concerns.

-Captain Alexander Makepeace
Vice President of Communications, Federation Department of Address of Cultural Oversensitivity

rattler2

To whom it may concern,

Thank you for the invitation to both these events, however I must respectfully decline, as there is currently a war going on with the fate of the galaxy in the balance. I have also encountered the Crystaline Entity... and it dang near destroyed my ship and threatened countless lives. All attempts at communication with said Entity has failed, either by concious act of the Entity itself, or Tholian intervention.

As to the "naming conventions" of the Federation... if you are referring to the fact we refer to our ships as female... it is an ancient Earth naval tradition. While I myself am a Trill and not human, I fully respect human tradition.

-Krystal Jade
Commanding Officer, USS Lexington

P.S.
Thank you for sharing the designs for those Web Mines. They are proving useful in our fight against the Iconian forces.

Also... might want to consider a different name for the Entity. "Hors-d’oeuvres" is also a word from the the Human language of French, and I believe it translates to appitizer or something else food related. Figured you would like to be aware of that to prevent any further Diplomatic Incidents.

artan42

Dear Oddball

No. I blow up crystalline beasts like there is no tomorrow. I strongly believe the only proper form of address for any space from is 'target practice'.

Yours, a plasma torpedo spewing zombie ship.​​

wombat140

To whom it may concern;

Dear whom,

Ah, you know we can never resist setting the world to rights over tea and cake. But surely you realise that if it's disrespectful to call somebody by a wrong name, it's far more disrespectful to decide "what they would want" for them without asking the person themselves? Outright paternalism. Can't possibly be a party to such a thing. Will the Crystalline Entity be addressing this conference? If so, then I'll be only too pleased to discuss the matter with xir. (Over subspace. The last time U.S.S. Magpie addressed the C.E., all she got for her trouble was a bitten tailfin.) Otherwise, I'm afraid you'll have to make do without me, and I'll have to carry on calling xir "Crystalline Entity", since I've no way of knowing whether "Hx'drvh" is Crystalline Entity for "poodle" or something.

I'm sure you understand the difficulty.

Yours sincerely, Captain Ellen Hare.

P.S. As for the other thing, I've three ladies at the moment who'll only answer to Sir and two others who'll only answer to Ma'am, I don't need you sticking your oar in.

<switches off comlink, winks>