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Forums > Home› Feedback› PvP Gameplay

I NEED to Win: Upgrade S3.

SystemSystem Member, NoReporting Posts: 178,018 Arc User
edited October 2010 in PvP Gameplay
Attention Cryptic,

Please nerf anything that lets the other guy win. I must be the best player in the game. Please tailor the game around me so that I can be the best player always. It is much easier for me if you change the STO universe to suit my needs.

Please do the following for me:

Give me more ships to choose from. The ship that I am currently flying got blown up a few times during the dozens of matches I fought yesterday. This is unacceptable and must be because my ship is inferior to their ships. There can be no other explanation so dont bother looking. And dont bother me with facts and stuff. It bores me.

Please give my ship godly powers because well it is a new ship and therefore has some super secret science behind it that allows it to break all laws of physics to deliver a one shot kill. Thats all i want. A one shot kill. And I deserve it because I am the best!

DO NOT give the other guys ANYTHING! This is absolutely unacceptable! Do it or I will spamflame all forums with truthy-type antifacts until I get my way!

Give whatever you were planning to give to them instead to me. I told you before: I am the best. THEY are only here for MY amusement.

Someone once tried to tell me how to PVP. Can you believe it? ME? I am the best!

And to the STO community...
I hate you all and remember:
ME ME ME ME ME
NOT YOU
Post edited by Unknown User on
«1

Comments

  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    I see what you did there!!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    Solution: fly a Fed cruiser. Your TRIBBLE with love you because you can keep a finger up it at all times.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    LOL this post made my day
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    I **** on your best player! D:<
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    Yeah, I'd say that pretty much sums it up.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    wrote:
    Yeah, I'd say that pretty much sums it up.
    I see no mention of bad touch powers.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    This topic made me giggle..



    Funny thing would be if it actually happened. :eek:
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    /signed

    Please nerf anything that allows other people to win; this is long-overdue.

    Although TNG Series 1 Man-Skirts still take priority; please prioritise all available development resources on that first.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    I want the mightiest ship there is: the PROBOAT!

    When I enter a PvP match, I hit the fire-button and the words "I AM PRO!" are displayed above my ship and then all enemy ships in a 100 km radius just roll over before they explode, because this is the onls ship that properly reflect my awesome skill!
    For my use only:D
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    mister_dee wrote:
    I want the mightiest ship there is: the PROBOAT!

    When I enter a PvP match, I hit the fire-button and the words "I AM PRO!" are displayed above my ship and then all enemy ships in a 100 km radius just roll over before they explode, because this is the onls ship that properly reflect my awesome skill!
    For my use only:D

    but all klingon ships are already PROBOATS, rolling a klingon is an instant I WIN
    KLINGONS ARE OP!!!!1111!!!!! :rolleyes:
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    I want a turn based system that means only one ship can shoot per turn, eliminating the well OP'd hack colloquially known as teamwork.

    Also, I demand a tactical cube with 3 million hull and that metaphasic shield that makes you immune to any shield damage. Fleet support should also spawn Deathstars on every occasion.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    At least the OP is honest and doesn't try to vaguely slip his feeling in an obscure post on why the something is overpowered and unbalancing.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    SteveHale wrote: »
    I **** on your best player! D:<

    / Everyone Target HALE
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    Artificialx wrote:
    I want a turn based system that means only one ship can shoot per turn, eliminating the well OP'd hack colloquially known as teamwork.
    Turn based systems don't remove teamwork! You can still use your action to use a heal on someone else!

    Turn based MMOs.. Now that's an idea.

    I always wanted a turn-based ego shooter. Maybe then I would finally standa a chance. :D

    Mustrum "Jagged Alliance 3: Starfleet Command" Ridcully
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    It is enteierly unreasonable that you shoudl be given your new I win button before I am given at least as many I win buttions as you already have.

    If all developement isn't imediatel;y focused on My I win button I will continue to make vauge empty threats about quitting and the death of my faction until the developemnt policy is changed.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    You know he has a point... there was an episode where the Enterprise had a metaphasic shield right. I think the devs should give em an Enterprise refit with a 30 second Metaphasic shield ability.

    Ohh and to make sure things stay fair how about an intrepid refit that has an integrated Krenim Cannon so it will be possible to erase the other guy from the game. (It should completely erase your toon like it NEVER existed)

    :)
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    A neat "one shot - one borg cube" torpedo from VOY series final would be a good and very balanced thing to add to a PvP. Torpedo Spread III + Enemy Fleet = Epic Win.
    Yay.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    Husanak wrote: »
    You know he has a point... there was an episode where the Enterprise had a metaphasic shield right. I think the devs should give em an Enterprise refit with a 30 second Metaphasic shield ability.

    Ohh and to make sure things stay fair how about an intrepid refit that has an integrated Krenim Cannon so it will be possible to erase the other guy from the game. (It should completely erase your toon like it NEVER existed)

    :)

    With or without money-back feature?
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    MustrumRidcully wrote: »
    With or without money-back feature?

    Without of course... TOTAL erasure from the timeline. And anything that TOON sold to ANYONE in game through the exchange will disappear. Anything that toon killed will be unkilled... paradoxs be damned I want my Krenim Cannon, NOW please. :) IT IS cannon after all.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    mister_dee wrote:
    I want the mightiest ship there is: the PROBOAT!

    When I enter a PvP match, I hit the fire-button and the words "I AM PRO!" are displayed above my ship and then all enemy ships in a 100 km radius just roll over before they explode, because this is the onls ship that properly reflect my awesome skill!
    For my use only:D

    Sorry man... This thread is about ME, NOT YOU. You are distorting the facts!

    The facts are:
    I NEED and YOU GET NOTHING.

    Look here is the proof:

    Yesterday, I got killed once!
    This cant happen! I am the best!
    Don't you see???
    It's obvious! What is wrong with you?

    Look man, if you get ANYHING then what I have will be LESS than what I had before compared to YOU.
    That is rediculous and will tip the balance even further in your favor. And, as you know, I died once yesterday. Can you believe it? You are already way overpowered!

    By the way, the person that beat me told me that I am not the best. What a joke. The only way he beat me was because he is haxxorz max. I hate cheaters, especially when they beat me.

    So you see... I am looking out for everyone's best interrest and the future of STO by saying that if the game does not get this upgrade, then the balance issue will escallate out of control and the game wont be playable anymore.

    Don't you agree with me?
    What is wrong with you??
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    Cedryk_ wrote:
    Sorry man... This thread is about ME, NOT YOU. You are distorting the facts!

    The facts are:
    I NEED and YOU GET NOTHING.

    Look here is the proof:

    Yesterday, I got killed once!
    This cant happen! I am the best!
    Don't you see???
    It's obvious! What is wrong with you?

    Look man, if you get ANYHING then what I have will be LESS than what I had before compared to YOU.
    That is rediculous and will tip the balance even further in your favor. And, as you know, I died once yesterday. Can you believe it? You are already way overpowered!

    By the way, the person that beat me told me that I am not the best. What a joke. The only way he beat me was because he is haxxorz max. I hate cheaters, especially when they beat me.

    So you see... I am looking out for everyone's best interrest and the future of STO by saying that if the game does not get this upgrade, then the balance issue will escallate out of control and the game wont be playable anymore.

    Don't you agree with me?
    What is wrong with you??

    So you want something like my Proboat?
    MY Proboat?!
    But you can't have my Proboat.
    And you can't have anything like it.
    Because it's my Proboat.
    And you don't deserve it as much as I do...no you don't...you certainly don't...!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    I AM YELLING LOUDER THAN YOU
    THEREFORE I AM RIGHT AND YOU ARE WRONG!

    heh, get with the program man.

    LOLZ, why are you still arguing with me, everyone knows you are wrong :confused:
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    Cedryk_ wrote:
    By the way, the person that beat me told me that I am not the best. What a joke. The only way he beat me was because he is haxxorz max. I hate cheaters, especially when they beat me.

    OMG did the person that beat you go on and on and on about how they are so upset that the BoP wings are animated now and how they are in the wrong position and that the capt should be able make the wings be up or down or whatever!??!!?!? Did that person say they were gonna quit if Cryptic didn't do something RIGHT NOW? Did they say that they can't wait for DStahl or cryptic to post something totally unrelated so they can immediately complain about the BoP wings in the same thread?!?!?! lol
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    Look at you all full of vim and vigor.

    Just remember everyone but you knows how to play and since you dare attack the game you must be some bad playing loser.

    I know you think your great but dont you realize its all the people that say they know that are right and you are wrong.

    The game is perfect no change ever need be made and balance is just perfect because I know how to play the game. This game is so balanced that two monkeys could fight any two ships and it would always be the bettter monkey that wins.

    No how dare you question the perfection that is this game.
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    Artificialx wrote:
    Fleet support should also spawn Deathstars on every occasion.

    I watched a Carrier pop after Fleet support had been hit in Cap and Hold today, which promptly dispatched a multitude of fighters and stuck around for about half the match. Was epic. Close enough for you? ;)
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    this entire thread is good for laughs, but i suggest an improvement on the pwnboat suggestion.

    instead of the suggested phrase, make it say instead "ur 4ll n00bs" before it causes all other players participating in the PvP match have their clients break down, causing the need to sign up for a second subscribing account and having to reinstall the game all over again.

    also that Krenim weapon- i already have it, but it is kept under lock and key in an undisclosed location. DStahl told me to only use it as a last resort if i found that the Klinks got a bit too carried away with their whining. i have the co-ordinates for Qo'nos set and locked in
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    I don't believe in a no-win scenario, therefore any scenario in which I lose is due to faulty programming.

    Hey, if Kirk can get away with it, so can I!
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    Husanak wrote: »
    You know he has a point... there was an episode where the Enterprise had a metaphasic shield right. I think the devs should give em an Enterprise refit with a 30 second Metaphasic shield ability.

    Ohh and to make sure things stay fair how about an intrepid refit that has an integrated Krenim Cannon so it will be possible to erase the other guy from the game. (It should completely erase your toon like it NEVER existed)

    :)

    But if we're going to stay true to Cannon, the intrepid needs to be changed so you can self destruct at 100% hull - possibly semi-randomly :p - so, that should balance out the Krenim Cannon :)
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    Cedryk_ wrote:
    I AM YELLING LOUDER THAN YOU
    THEREFORE I AM RIGHT AND YOU ARE WRONG!

    heh, get with the program man.

    LOLZ, why are you still arguing with me, everyone knows you are wrong :confused:

    I'm curious whether your head will explode from all this yelling or you pass out befor that happens.

    Everyone...EVERYONE?? then why is noone besides youself arguing that I'm wrong?
    You're...you're the vocal minority...that's what you are...yes that's what you are.
    The minority!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf8OHOXh4b4

    And because I just added a VID, I absolutely deserve mine more than you do because of your yelling.
    But you already knew you were wrong, you admitted it, but you did it so softly that you hoped it would
    get lost under all that yelling.:D
  • Archived PostArchived Post Member Posts: 2,264,498 Arc User
    edited October 2010
    Dear Cryptic,

    Please make my enemeies suck.

    That is all.

    - Aytanhi
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