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Update on my wife for those who missed the comment in other thread.

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Comments

  • rndfluctuation#1470 rndfluctuation Member Posts: 813 Arc User
    I didn't say anything after the previous update since I had totally no words fitting and didn't know what to say. I am really sorry and I hope you and your wife have as much peace as you can and still many precious moments together with pain managed successfully so you can cherish together each moment, love, carying and proximity. Be strong. Know we care even if we don't know what to say. Something had to be said now.
  • jamieblanchardjamieblanchard Member Posts: 556 Arc User
    I am sorry to hear what sort of turn events have taken. =( That being said, make those memories the best ones they can be. Leave nothing unsaid.
    Shortly before my own grandfather's passing oh so long ago, he wrote a book. And he included a quote that said something along the lines of: "When a loved one passes on, the memories are all we have left. The good memories last." And, he was right.
    All my best to you and your family at this time. Do all you can there for now. We'll be here.
    Resident TOS, G.I. Joe, Transformers and hair metal fangirl.

    And knowing is half the battle!

    21 'til I die!
  • jonsillsjonsills Member Posts: 10,354 Arc User
    We're here for you, Freya. It may not be much, but I hope it's enough.
    Lorna-Wing-sig.png
  • rattler2rattler2 Member Posts: 57,973 Community Moderator
    I am reminded a bit of a country song by Garth Brooks titled The Dance. As a young child I never really understood the context of the song, or many songs I listened to. But over the years I learned that there was a lot more in those songs than what you hear. The MEANING became more clear.

    For me... the meaning behind The Dance is that you charish the time you have. You could run from the pain but... then you'd also miss all the good times. In short... "Better to have loved and lost than to never to have loved at all".

    We're with you.
    Take as much time as you need.
    db80k0m-89201ed8-eadb-45d3-830f-bb2f0d4c0fe7.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2ExOGQ4ZWM2LTUyZjQtNDdiMS05YTI1LTVlYmZkYmJkOGM3N1wvZGI4MGswbS04OTIwMWVkOC1lYWRiLTQ1ZDMtODMwZi1iYjJmMGQ0YzBmZTcucG5nIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.8G-Pg35Qi8qxiKLjAofaKRH6fmNH3qAAEI628gW0eXc
    I can't take it anymore! Could everyone just chill out for two seconds before something CRAZY happens again?!
    The nut who actually ground out many packs. The resident forum voice of reason (I HAZ FORUM REP! YAY!)
  • ryan218ryan218 Member Posts: 36,106 Arc User
    I'm so sorry to read about what has happened, Freya. I haven't posted on this topic before because, frankly, I've never really been sure if my words would have helped or hurt, but I have been following along. I hope you and Denise have a loving time together for however long she has left.
  • ssbn655ssbn655 Member Posts: 1,894 Arc User
    Thank you all even a few sparse words of kindness carry a lot of weight and meaning to me. Trust me they help more then you may think. I don't feel as alone reading and rereading them. They remind me that there is a world full of kind people out there beyond my immediate family in this very trying time in our lives. I find my
    mere words are sorely lacking on expressing how much I cherish the outreach from the Trek family to me and my family. Freya
  • ssbn655ssbn655 Member Posts: 1,894 Arc User
    Final update: On Monday October 28, 2019 around 9:30 PM Central time my wife lost her war against her cancer. Denise was a unique person with a full speed ahead attitude. She was a RN for 35 years and an avid photographer with many showings. She traveled far and wide across the U.S. and ended up in New Hampshire where she saved me in so many ways. We made a life together two people who on the surface were light years apart in so many ways, She being a straight woman and myself being transgender MTF. Somehow we made it work and our life together was amazing. While we never had children from our time together we each had a child from earlier marriages and share two wonderful grand children who through them her legacy lives on. She was my friend my lover and my wife and I will love her now and forever and already feel the void that was once filled by her just hours ago. I want to thank the admins for letting me post this it has been very helpful for me to cope with her illness. I am still amazed at the outpouring of compassion by fellow Trekkers. LLAP Freya
  • seaofsorrowsseaofsorrows Member Posts: 10,918 Arc User
    My sincere condolences on your loss. Denise sounded like a truly remarkable human being and she will truly be missed. :disappointed:
    Insert witty signature line here.
  • jamieblanchardjamieblanchard Member Posts: 556 Arc User
    You have my sincerest, heartfelt condolences. =( All my best to you and your family at this time, and may your fondest and warmest memories of her bring you comfort.
    Resident TOS, G.I. Joe, Transformers and hair metal fangirl.

    And knowing is half the battle!

    21 'til I die!
  • mustrumridcully0mustrumridcully0 Member Posts: 12,963 Arc User
    My condolences. :(

    Personally, I fear there is nothing for us after our own death, just the same thing we had before we were born - non-existence. That is sometimes a scary thought, because I can't make sense of what not being is like, thankfully it's a thought that my mind can get rid of pretty quickly, and sometimes I have the irrational hope that maybe there is some trickery that can avert that all.

    But at least people's memories of us can still exist. There is still something that we left behind, the things we meant to other people, how we affected their lives. That is something that remains of us. And for the "survivors", these memories are basically a way to still have a bit of what (or who) was lost.
    Star Trek Online Advancement: You start with lowbie gear, you end with Lobi gear.
  • starkaosstarkaos Member Posts: 11,556 Arc User
    And this is why people hope for an afterlife. That they will see their dead loved ones again. It is a comforting thought to believe that we will see them again. Even if there is no proof. I hope it is true and you will see her again in the next life.
  • sthe91sthe91 Member Posts: 5,406 Arc User
    edited December 2019
    I am so sorry that you lost your wife. I was praying that she would be healed. Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted. :'(
    Where there is a Will, there is a Way.
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