Loading into queues takes so long it gives me an AFK penalty

This has happened numerous times today. I load into a queue, it stops at like 40% or something, takes about 5 minutes to load, and by the time it has loaded (especially in Red Alerts), the match is over and I've been given an AFK penalty. I've tried turning off on-demand patching, turning on force verify, running the game in a 32 bit client, loading the game separately from the arc launcher, clearing out the cache and logs, and finally uninstalling and reinstalling the game and no dice. What's the deal? This needs to be fixed, Cryptic.